im just trying

I am moving and there are a million things I need to do. The biggest one is from the summer bucket list: deep clean my home.

My goal this summer was to deep clean, reorganize and spread love through my home. Now, I have to focus on packing up that home and moving it. I am 30 days out and need to make the most of this move. I still want to go through my home, deep clean and reorganize things, but instead of having it be easier for everyday life, this will help everything be packed easier.

I've already gone through my hallway closet and desk. They look and feel so much better. I know everything in those spaces and feel so much better about packing them up. Truly, I was scared for the closet, but I just need to take everything out and start from stratch.

I want to do this with as many parts of my home as possible. I cannot bring old baggage into this new space.

Boy, oh boy, I have a lot of movies here. There are a lot of different movie services here too. This month I added on some new services, they are all free! I still want to watch a movie from every service, not sure if I’m going to roll that over to the new ones.

Here are those movies!

I Am Frankelda, 2025, 104 mins, Netflix

Happy Anniversary, 2018, 78 mins, Netflix

Bob Trevino Likes It, 2024, 101 mins, Hulu

Fresh, 2022, 114 mins, Hulu

Time Travel Is Dangerous!, 2024, 99 mins, Prime

Elena Undone, 2010, 111 mins, Prime

The Nun, 2018, 96 mins, Max

mid90s, 2018, 86 mins, Max

When Frank Met Carlitos, 2023, 73 mins, Disney+

Cinderella, 1997, 88 mins, Disney+

40 under 40, 2013, 46 mins, Paramount+

Scream VI, 2023, 123 mins, Paramount+

Zoe Gone, 2014, 88 mins, Tubi

I Can Make You Love Me, 1993, Tubi, 92 mins

Summertime, 2015, 105 mins, Kanopy

Ass Backwards, 2013, 82 mins, Kanopy

Zola, 2020, 86 mins, Kanopy

Snoopy, Come Home, 1972, 80 mins, Hoopla

Holy Days, 2026, 101 mins, Hoopla

Some Like It Hot, 1959, 123 mins, Hoopla

Another Man's Wife, 2026, 81 mins, Peacock

All My Life, 2020, 2020, 93 mins, Peacock

Fingernails, 2023, 113 mins, Apple

Hala, 2019, 93 mins, Apple

The Bride, 2015, 93 mins, Filmzie

Abroad, 2023, 85 mins, Filmzie

Love Lies Bleeding, 2024, 104 mins, Fawesome

Thelma & Louise, 1991, 130 mins, Fawesome

Do the Right Thing, 1989, 120 mins, Pluto

It Takes Two, 1995, 101 mins, Pluto

Punch Drunk Love, 2002, 96 mins, Plex

Just My Luck, 2006, 103 mins, Plex

There are quite a lot of movies on this list! Most of these are new releases, some are rereleases and others are on streaming. I am very excited for this month of movies!

The Odyssey, 2026, 172 mins

Minions & Monsters, 2026, 90 mins

Evil Dead Burn, 2026, 110 mins

Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass, 2026, 93 mins

Heartstopper Forever, 2026, 111 mins, Netflix

Motor City, 2025, 103 mins

Her Private Hell, 2026, 110 mins

The Devil's Mouth, 2026, Prime

Spider-Man: Brand New Day, 2026, 144 mins

The Invite, 2026, 107 mins

Lockbox, 2026

Maddie's Secret, 2025, 98 mins

Hadestown: The Musical, 2026, 142 mins

A Star is Born, 1954, 196 mins

How to Train Your Dragon, 2025, 125 mins

This list doesn't include a few shown above, simply because I added them thinking they were included in A-list, they are not. Thanks to the A-list membership plan, I refuse to pay for movie tickets.

Let's see how many of these I can get through!

Right now I want a glass of cold milk and a stack of Oreos. I want it to be the middle of October and the temperature getting cool enough to start wearing hoodies again. I want to sit on my couch, legs tucked under me, and one of my cozy blankets on top. I want to have those Oreos with the orange filling, because the food dye does make it taste better.

I want to have a scary movie playing my TV and guess the ending, but still act completely surprised with that exact moment happens. I want my apartment to be filled with bats and spiders and ghosts (all decorations of course!). I want a candle to warm up the room with its flame and light and scent.

I want Halloween spooky season here already.

My main focus this week is to prepare for the next 6 months. I am going to focus on my Mid-Year Reset:

reflection on the past six months

really think about how I want to end the year

look at any big events / holidays coming up

brainstorm steps and milestones to accomplish goals

This will be a big week for sitting down with my notebook!

I have tons of goals and milestones I want to hit, but none of them are getting accomplished. The only area in my life that is going better than planned is "Movie Goals."

When I want to focus on big goal making, I use the Level 10 Life concept; Finance, Health & Fitness, Career, Inner Community, Outer Community, Home, Hobbies, Adventure, Personal Development, and Giving.

Hobbies and Adventure were always fun and "easy" categories to complete, but with the reset I'm doing to my life, it seems like only thing thriving is a goal within Hobbies.

In Hobbies, I have movies, journaling, crafting and other at home activities. That's the difference between Hobbies and Adventure, one is focused on indoor and the other is focused on outdoor. Going forward, I am just going to combine the two under "Play," I think that just fits better.

Anyway, I usually do really well with with my Hobby goals and habits, but I have really been slipping up. The only thing thriving is movies.

Here are my 2026 movie goals:

watch 300 movies

watch 100 amc a-list

watch 100 international movies

I've been doing so well that I changed the first goal to 300 new to me movies. Here's my progress

157 new-to-me movies

48 a-list movies

8 international movies

Other than the last spot, I've done really well. I've seen a lot of movies. This month I do want to focus on international films.

The amount I've been watching is crazy. I have been prioritizing movie watching over other parts of my life. I also have been stressing myself out on the types of movies I've been watching. Like "why am I going to rewatch a movie when I can watch something new," or "I shouldn't go straight home, let me got to AMC even though I'm really tired."

I have watched a lot this year so far, and don't plan on stopping any time soon, I just need to bring back balance and joy.

Yes, I write a lot on this blog, but I mean I miss the way I used to as a kid. I would fill notebooks with stories I made up in my head. Or flood pages with the poetry that poured out of me. I have so much feeling waiting to come out of me, writing used to be that outlet.

Writing this blog has brought back a small creative spark. This has been a place for me to write how I'm feeling and thoughts on my mind. I have created a safe place, but I want to expand it.

I think it's funny how many "publishing people" have reached out to me. I don't think I'm doing anything special or orginal. I don't even think I'm a good writer. I think I was at one point, but I'm definetly not anymore. I just don't use that skill anymore. I want to gain it back. I want to be able to call myself a decent writer again.

I do miss the praise and validation I would get from a finished piece of work. I don't have anyone to share this with, so I would like to dive back into writing and find some writing friends too.

Who knows, I might write some little stories and post them here...

Today, I am trying to take things slow, but want to get things done.

I have some of the same things on my mind today that I have this whole weekend: catch up on movies and work on mid-year check in.

I feel like I have a good hold on my check in, but I am going to spend the week really thinking about all of the goals and steps I need to take. I'm going to take this goal setting extra serious. I not only want to put into action my goals for this next six months, but what the ultimate goals are. I keep talking about building a life I love, but what is that? What does a good life look to me?

I have a whole day planned.

wake up, slow morning, YouTube playing Techo Kaigi

go to AMC

watch movies from my services

(while doing the above)

brainstorm plans

reset chores

make dinner and prep lunch

I've got a lot to do and not a whole lot of time. I doubt I will make it half way through my watchlist tonight, but at least I don't have to think what's next, I can just go and watch what's on the list.

My watchlist:

Eden Lake, 2008, Kanopy, 91 mins

Y2K, 2024, HBO Max, 91 mins

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love, 1995, Kanopy,94 mins

The Endless Summer, 1966, Amazon Prime, 91 mins

I am constantly trying to find ways to make my life more fun. I keep making weekly traditions and routines to constantly give myself something to look forward to. Most of these are supposed to make "suffering through every day worth it.

A small one I try to do every week is Fun Drink Friday! I love fun drink more than most people, so I really have to prioritize water when it comes to my daily hydration. As long as I am reaching my water goal most of the week I let myself go "crazy" on Friday.

If I don't have anything at home, I will go to the market across the street and explore the options they have. That store has so much variety, it's more of a world market than a basic grocery store. So many drinks, snacks and ingredients from all over the world.

Something as simple as exploring those aisles brings me so much joy.

I try to stay away from something with a lot of sugar or dark soda, but I am not always good at abiding by that rule.

I get my drink, bring it home, get it as cold as possible and enjoy it with a meal or whatever I'm watching at the moment.

This little tradition has been something I look forward to every week and helps me to keep drinking water. I know it's dumb, but water just doesn't quench my thrist. A big part of my journey to be the best person I can be and living my best life is connected to my health. It's so basic but looking forward to a new tea from the market gets me closer to where I want to be.

Plus my "fun drink addiction" comes at the cost of supporting a local small business. Totally worth it!

I'm going to use this weekend to its fulliest potential. I've got to play some catch up on my hobbies goals, and setup the plan for my mid year check-in.

Top things on my mind:

watch something from every service (prime, max, paramount, kanopy, apple)

watch 2 international movies

figure out focus areas for mid year check-in

scrapbook one spread

I just want to be home, relax and do what I have to do in order to make my life the best it can be.

This is a little different from a summer bucket list. These are things that I want to do this summer, but do multiple times.

Here's that list!

park days (6x)

thrifting days (6x)

watch movies from summer bucket list (10x)

knotts days (6x)

new restaurants (6x)

new ice cream flavors (6x)

new music albums (6x)

go to the beach

go to the mountains

throw a summer party

make fresh lemonade

celebrate summerween

visit a new state / national park

go camping

go on a sunset hike

watch 4 AMC movies in one day (all-day movie stay)

have a picnic

have a solo date

go to the La Brea Tar Pits before they close

finish Wano Arc in One Piece

have a full scrapbooking day

finish going through my photo box

have a bonfire night

get another tattoo

watch fireworks

deep clean my home

loose 20 pounds

start plans for my birthday

A full list! I have already marked off a few things, and I am planning on how to cross off the rest. I am ready to enjoy this summer!

I'm sad because I wanted to see my friend, I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, and I miss her. On the flip side, I am happy because I am exhausted.

Yesterday was an adventure. I just explored and enjoyed life; it felt both simple and spectacular.

I am tired and sore, and my home is a mess. I want to take this weekend to reset my life before the second half of the year.

I need to take some time to focus on goals and create milestones I want to hit!

The evening air is so refreshing and is filling me with inspiration.

And on the plus side, we already have our next hangout scheduled!

I want to dive into the calm and peaceful vibes tonight. I want to sit back, watch some movies, and write some blog posts.

Sometimes I just get in a mood to open my laptop and type away.

I have no clue how much I'll write or if I'll even write a post, but I'm going to let the feeling take me where it will.