❛ Well, best of luck with that. ❜ Augustus has put him in a mental place he’s not sure he can crawl out. Obsessions are a funny thing. In the end, nothing is real. He guesses he’ll fuck him eventually and die at the ripe age of forty. Felix’s emotions swing very rapidly. One moment he’s somewhat enjoying himself, and the next he’s convinced he’s wasting time. He’s easily bored. He’s had more than enough of his fair share of short term affairs and relationships. Everyone has preferred ideals. His relationships are inconsistent, unreliable. Whatever this is might not last, it probably won’t. In short: whenever you run, there’s the danger of slipping, so he tries not to run at all. Felix has become accustomed to the fact he will die alone. He can’t ever feel anything. Doesn’t really matter. He knows what he wants and that’s what matters. He is especially aware of who he needs to become to get it. Everything else. Everyone else is irrelevant.
Then he asks the question and this makes his chuckle. He had wondered who would be the first one to break. ❛ You know, don’t you? ❜ There is a sigh, standing still as Augusts keeps moving even closer. Is he smelling him? He can feel himself spreading physically throughout the universe. Feels the need to bite something and his teeth dig into the side of his cheeks. His capillaries are leaking blood and he realizes that Augustus’s voice is better than his own. It’s smoother, less coarse, more consistent. He feels restless and this does not end, will not end until the next great collapse of civilization. Felix stands there unmoving, feeling the urge to fret with his hair. This new conditioner he started using this morning is unquestionably better than the one before that - and the one before that. More expensive. Today is so confusing. His face feels frozen like when you apply a peel-off mask, leave it on for too long and your mouth feels stuck in place and moving your features hurt.
❛ I think we both know what would have happened. ❜ And maybe if it had happened then the two of them wouldn’t be in this state of mind. A lustful smile then spreads across his face. He still holds a bottle on one hand but the other finds its way up his thigh, ending up on the bulge between his legs. ❛ Do you? Isn’t that why you’re here? ❜
Augustus felt the heat of Felix’s hand, his palm on his bulge, and glanced down for a brief yet slow moment as if inviting Felix to do more if he pleased. It did not matter how seductive he sounded, how gentle yet domineering his eyes looked, he kept his lust around Felix restrained. God knew he would unleash a monster if given the chance.
His lips found Felix’s neck and his mouth opened to taste him, tongue slipping over his skin, over his pulse. “I’m here because I was invited.” His whisper was hot against his skin and his teeth grazed it next, so careful it could’ve been mistaken for a tease and not a moment of consideration.
His fingers danced along the top of the man’s belt and later snaked around to rest on Felix’s waist. It was the first time he touched the man in what felt like ages. Surely their hands would accidentally brush every now and then, but—
A constriction took hold of his chest: an unbearable affliction of — it was not enough, never enough. Perhaps this was the other nemesis he never spoke of, the overbearing desire to consume and consume and consume until he was sated. Yet he was never sated. Not with Felix, no. Felix had long made home in the back of his mind and turned it into an endless abyss demanding replete gratification. He pushed the thought aside.
“Say it,” he coaxed, words tasting of fire, vice, poison on his tongue, and his lips just barely caressed the other’s in the process. He tilted his head and decided that if he was losing himself to sin tonight, he would take Felix with him. After all, it was a command disguised as a request. “What do you want me to do to you now?”