elle's archive

It's been like this ever since then.

The thunder roars, asking to be heard.

Isn't it quite absurd?

Even though it is heard, it's still overlooked.

The thunder realized the neglect

So the thunder dies out.

i recently broke things off with my first love. We've been together for a long time, and to be completely honest, i disregarded his red flags because I wanted him to stay with me.

He was a good person at first, he talked to me, he seemed eager to get to know me, and when I confessed to him, he said he liked me too. Then, after that, we started hanging out more, and we eventually started dating.

After we started dating, we were good together, he'd go with me, we didn't fight, and we were both honest with each other, but then after a few months, he started doing the opposite, he ghosted me, he started avoiding me, and he even started ignoring me irl and in chats aswell. I was confused, so I reached out to my friends, and they told me that i had to move on because the guy was starting to hurt me, I was startled with their advice so I pretended to follow it, but in reality, I started doing everything to make the guy talk to me.

That's when everything went wrong, my friends found out and they were mad, they didnt talk to me but I didnt care at all because I got the guy to talk to me again but suddenly, it was like some sort of on and off relationship. One day, he'd start being clingy and happy with me, but the next day, he'd become cold and ignore me for hours. I didnt get it so I confronted him.

When I did that, he didnt bother giving me a proper apology, he made excuses and it was clear that he didnt give a shit about me or what im feeling. But I chose to ignore it because I didnt want him to leave me.

This went on for a long time until I was tired, I investigated and found out that for a long long time, this guy actually wanted to break things off with me but didnt tell me.

Of course, i was saddened and angry, but then again, I pondered if it was my fault for being overly clingy or something like that, maybe I was too overbearing but I started blaming myself.

But I gained the courage to finally end things off with him. I sent him a really long essay and you know what he replied? He replied with this. "👍".

I was so fucking mad that I ended up blocking him over all social medias.

Up to now, we haven't talked or interacted, but I'm getting thoughts of whether I should unblock him and ask him if where I went wrong in the relationship. I'm trying to move on but it's so hard.