In which my various thoughts and personal projects are placed for your mocking pleasure, or something. Just a trans woman who writes about stuff and is more or less an open book.
She/her, and I'm nearly 40 so I'm too old to be puritanical about my posts.
First things first! HRTCafe.net has valuable information for how to DIY your HRT if you feel so inclined or lack the option for medical access. Link will be up here for permanent, easy access.
This is a post to list links to my posts of youtube playlists for my gaming backlog playthroughs that I started this year. I'll also list what the next/current game is on this post.
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going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me
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All this post has done for me is make me realise how much more of a friendship I felt between Kudelia and Atra and the believability that they could become a couple than I do for Machu and Nyaan despite the latter being part of a main trio.
Like I feel like I could write Atra/Kudelia fanfiction, but Machu and Nyaan just inspire nothing beyond "she asked for no pickles"
I've been chewing on the sharp contrast between the two scenarios for a while now, considering the similarities in having a main trio triangle setup like this again. There's something very palpably different in the way Kudelia and Atra's relationship is developed in comparison to Machu and Nyaan's which is both a product of the worlds the two characters inhabit and the clear lack of desire on the part of the GQuuuuuuX writers to genuinely interrogate what it means for these two girls to be close to each other. "Yuri by default" is funny and all, but it only really means anything if there's something to actually latch onto beyond just their relationships to a man.
There's three or four moments in Iron-Blooded Orphans that exist specifically to allow Kudelia and Atra a space to define who they are to each other, both in regards to Mikazuki and in regards to his absence. Whether it's Atra proclaiming that to protect Kudelia is "her revolution", tying Kudelia's ideological influence to the unconventional love Atra is trying to build, or Kudelia making sure to stress she likes both Mikazuki and Atra when Atra asks how she feels about Mikazuki, the show *actively* wants you to understand there is mutual love here.
Part of the reason Machu and Nyaan don't get this is because, for the majority of the show, it is a traditional triangle—Machu and Nyaan are explicitly at many points competing (or think they are competing) for Shuji's affections. There's no moment to suggest romantic affections extend beyond him to each other. However, if you're still going to end the show with them living together and figuring out what life is like in his absence, you should probably make a meaningful effort to spell out where their points of connection are beyond that and we just don't get that.
Instead, their key moment of reaching an understanding is Nyaan attempting to seek forgiveness and Machu showing (a genuinely good!) belief that Nyaan has nothing to apologize for. However, all this serves as is a moment of showing Machu's growth. It doesn't have anything to say about the inherent tensions which existed in their relationship before other than to show Machu is more aware of the class divides that shaped them to be drastically different people. But because they have to fight Shuji in the white gundam, the show having long moved into a metatextual conversation over a focus on the human disparities of Side 6 that Machu and Nyaan shined in, it doesn't have time to do anything other than 'reset' their friendship back to where it was.
Even if the ending is the same, the boy now gone and the girls choosing to live together while carrying his torch, one show took the time to make that kind of future together feel like one that retains a certain romance and warmth to it. It's easy to envision the ways in which Kudelia and Atra have to continue developing what their love means as they choose to get married, as they raise a child together, but Machu and Nyaan have no such foundations. Even in the final moments of the show, their place to belong has a sense of impermanence. The scope of their bond is too narrow, has had so little time in the spotlight. Their friendship was perhaps one of the things that suffered most from the influence of UC Gundam on the story being so incredibly oversized.
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bsky replies: its not uncommon for some tops to put condoms on the strap because its still possible to transmit std's. also it could just be a joke and shes just doing it cuz shes bisexual or something and has them lying around maybe and its funny cuz they dont need them?
Saying this with all the love in my heart, "Trans" is not a magical title that erases all social biases and discriminations you hold in your mind the moment you transition.
You have to actually ACTIVELY unlearn all that shit. You can actually be trans AND hold TERF and racist beliefs, it is in fact very easy.
Read studies and essays, Engage with the works of other minorities, Don't think you're just better by virtue of losing *some* privilege.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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