Ambitious, but rubbish.

Wonder what it’s like to feel wanted tbh.

I don’t know if there will ever be someone that is for me. I feel lonely in ways maybe only a relationship could satisfy. I feel that there’s no one that will ever be the missing piece of me. I haven’t had a relationship to this point so far that’s been genuine. Maybe they were for the sake of intimacy, but there was just no real connection. I never felt anything. I’ve thought I’ve felt things, but in retrospect I just haven’t. Maybe I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. There just hasn’t been anyone that’s ever cared for me. There’s been feelings for others, but I don’t feel like there was anything strong in return.  It goes back to never truly feeling loved or cared for. I’ve never felt that anyone has ever felt anything toward me. Friendships even lack depth. I’m just incapable of feeling anything. I’m not sure if I’m just not worthy of any deeper relationships or I’m just simply incapable of reciprocating those feelings. Maybe this post was deeper than I intended. Maybe not.