“ truth begins in lies. ”
“ humanity is overrated. ”
“ pain happens when you care. ”
“ reality is almost always wrong. ”
“ i don’t care much for apologies. ”
“ i’m too handsome to do paperwork. ”
“ i’m gonna pretend to go to work now. ”
“ do you listen to what you’re saying? ”
“ you’re a disgrace to your stereotype. ”
“ never is just reven spelled backwards. ”
“ perseverance does not equal worthiness. ”
“ i know what’s bugging your subconscious. ”
“ new is good. because old ended in death. ”
“ if i was kidding i’d be dressed like you. ”
“ there’s nothing any of us can do about it. ”
“ do i get bonus points if i act like i care? ”
“ we all make mistakes, and we all pay a price. ”
“ i have almost no knowledge of alien physiology. ”
“ i cared for eight seconds, then i got distracted. ”
“ that is not the last feeling i want to experience. ”
“ if nobody hates you, you’re doing something wrong. ”
“ i’m deflecting because i’m avoiding something shallow. ”
“ almost dying changes nothing, dying changes everything. ”
“ i’m not deflecting because i’m avoiding something deep. ”
“ i don’t want to be in pain, i don’t want to be miserable. ”
“ i’m branching out from self-loathing and self-destruction. ”
“ i think when you do change, it’s not so simple to go back. ”
“ people don’t get what they deserve. they just get what they get.
“ if you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything. ”
“ we formulate our questions based on the answers we want to hear. ”
“ death is the opposite of a cool puzzle, it’s eternal nothingness. ”
“ livers are important. you can’t live without them, hence the name.”
“ did you come for my feelings? because i left ‘em in my other pants. ”
“ what’s the opposite of ‘thank you’? i’m pretty sure it ends in 'you.'“
“ it’s one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes. ”
“ there’s no i in 'team’. there is a 'me’, though, if you jumble it up. ”
“ a unicorn isn’t a unicorn, it’s a donkey with a plunger stuck to its face. ”
“ hostility makes me shrink up like a… i can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor. ”
“ pain makes us make bad decisions. fear or pain is almost as big of a motivator. ”
“ it’s normal to be screwed up, but it’s really screwed up to romanticize it. ”
“ well, as the philosopher jagger once said, 'you can’t always get what you want.’ ”
“ everybody does stupid things, it shouldn’t cost them everything they want in life. ”
“ if you wanted fair, you chose the wrong job, the wrong profession, the wrong species. ”
“ if you’re not willing to look stupid, nothing great is ever going to happen to you. ”
“ it’s easy to be nice to people you like. but being nice to people you hate, that’s a skill. ”
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