Languorous Contrivance

ARIES: Notable foes say “Prepare to die!” even if they don’t notice you. TAURUS: Vampires have too much jewelry from their victims. GEMINI: Sleep on top of castle tower, wake up outside of castle. CANCER: Moody dwarves won’t use magma forges (or magma glass furnaces), insist on non-magma ones. LEO: Military dwarves turn off all of their labors when becoming heroes. VIRGO: Duty-bound drunks: “I’m sorry. My duty is here.” LIBRA: After town insurrection, all shops become taverns. SCORPIO: Dwarves do not assign selves to empty bedrooms. SAGITTARIUS: Romance and marriage are mutually exclusive. CAPRICORN: Dwarves can achieve dreams after they die. AQUARIUS: Adventurers can drink blood spatters even if they’re not dehydrated. PISCES: Composing poetry and music doesn’t check for nearby danger.

not that he isnt lovely company, but everyone keeps dying