Fan Art

Philip hates when he gets the cleaning bug, but he tries to remind himself that he’ll like the outcome once it’s all over. They haven’t done anything serious with their apartment in a while, and he could tell Helen was doing some low-key judging when she and Gabe were here. The trial seems to be going their way, even though he knew it would, and they’re probably only gonna have to come up one more time before Dour gets what’s coming to him.

So Philip wants the apartment to look good for when Helen and Gabe see it again. He thinks Bo and Sarah might be coming up too, to celebrate the end of the trial and the first time they’re all together since Philip and Lukas got engaged. He feels like so much shit is happening, and all his portfolio photos are laid out on the bed because he’s still trying to figure out what the hell he’s gonna choose and how he’s gonna present them. He’s got his first meeting with Mr. Woods next week so he can see his progress, and Philip doesn’t know why he’s so goddamn paranoid about this shit.

He sees Lukas out of the corner of his eye, dropping half their laundry onto the ground in the living room because he insists on carrying it in his arms. Philip snorts, shaking his head. Lukas is only wearing his boxers and Philip fucking loves when he does laundry like that.

“You okay?” Lukas asks, trying to retrieve a pair of pants and socks off the floor. Three shirts fall too.

“Are you?” Philip asks, laughing.

“Ugh,” Lukas groans.

“Just use the basket, babe,” Philip says.

“No!” Lukas says, trying to readjust the clothes in his arms without dropping more. “I got this. I got this.” He drops a pair of Philip’s jeans and Philip laughs, shaking his head.

It’s a picture of him and Lukas standing under an arch of white flowers. They’re clinging to each other, smiling in each other’s faces, and Lukas is wearing a red ring-pop on his finger. Philip stares at it for a few seconds, the gears working in his head, and he looks down at his own hand. There’s the remains of a ring-pop there, blue in its previous life, and mostly eaten.

Philip’s heart beats in his throat. He looks back and forth between the picture and his hand. His mind is blank, left in the dust, unable to process whatever the fuck is going on. He looks over his shoulder at Lukas—his brows are furrowed now, like he knows Philip is gone and he isn’t happy about it.

There’s a mostly eaten ring-pop on his finger, too. The same red one from the picture.

They’re both still wearing their engagement rings, just underneath the fucking ring pops, which makes Philip realize that they’d moved them to their left hands. He looks at the picture again. It’s cute as fuck and he loves it, but he can’t get distracted by that right now. It looks a lot like a wedding photo. The ring pops. The flowers. His brain short-circuits, a bunch of small alarms going off in his head. He can’t be that guy that got accidentally married in Vegas. He can’t be. They can’t be that couple. There’s no way they did this.

Lukas hates these doctors. He hates this hospital, especially considering it’s the same goddamn one he was in before. He wasn’t sure if he agreed with Helen’s negligence claims, but after seeing Gabe drop like that, after seeing their reactions, he’s been made into a goddamn believer. He doesn’t like to think of what could have happened to him when he was laid up here, with these people in charge.

They haven’t said shit since they told them they were bringing Gabe in for an emergency surgery to deal with an infection and possible blocked bowels. Helen had raged for a while, in the empty hospital room, about the enormity of their fuck-up. Lukas has no idea if these things happened because of the initial surgery or because of the appendicitis itself, but he knows for sure that these idiots should have realized it to begin with, and even more so once Gabe and Helen informed them he was in pain.

Lukas is so mad he could scream. He hates seeing that look in Philip’s eyes, that look that means he’s trying to prepare himself for the worst. He’s faced it so many times it’s like he expects it, and Lukas hates that these stupid doctors have put him in that position again. He just wants to kiss Philip, soothe that worry line between his brows, hold him until the tenseness falls away.

Philip stares out the window on the journey to Tivoli and feels like he’s working himself up. Hospitals already make him nervous because of everything that happened with Lukas, everything that happened after Ryan was killed, and he knows that’s affecting the way he thinks about this. He’s trying not to panic. He knows that’s the last thing Helen needs to see.

He feels Lukas reach over and start massaging his shoulder. There’s only the stretch of road ahead of them, the single red Honda they’d been contending with a while back so far ahead of them now that they can’t see it anymore.

“Got like half an hour,” Lukas says. “Gonna swing by mine real quick, leave Iz with Dad, then we’ll head straight to the hospital.”

Philip looks down at his phone.

“She said anything yet?” Lukas asks, clearly tracking Philip’s every move.

“No,” Philip says, trying to hide his dejection over that fact even though he knows Lukas can probably sense it anyway. He sighs, reaching up and taking Lukas’s hand, holding it in his lap. “It’s just his appendix.”

“Exactly,” Lukas says, squeezing his hand.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Philip says, eyes intent on Lukas.

“He’s gonna be absolutely fine,” Lukas says.

Build Your Castle, Stop Collecting Stones    by Jameee25

Pairing: Philip/Lukas

Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A lot of things change in one year. Others stay just the same.

 Lukas comes home for the Holidays.

My Philkas Christmas gift exchange fic for @andromeda—galaxy.

Happy Holidays!

***

In the end, things didn’t really happen the way Lukas thought they would.

But don’t they always?

Their senior year in high school was hectic, and nightmarish, absolutely amazing and nothing like Lukas pictured it, if had anyone would’ve asked him to guess.

In the end, it was Philip who stayed behind in their too small town. He didn’t go to college. Said he needed some time to wind down, to figure himself out, let everything wash itself out of his system before he could think about moving on. Lukas gets it. He does. But it doesn’t help with the guilt eating up at his insides for leaving Philip behind and going on the circuit.

Philip opens the door to Lukas’s room and tries to stifle a gasp. Lukas is standing there in that grey sweater Philip picked out for him, his hands in his pockets and a sly smile on his face. He rolls back on his heels and looks way too self-satisfied for his own good, but Philip thinks he definitely deserves to look that way.

There are at least twenty bundles of mistletoe hanging from Lukas’s ceiling, evenly distributed so they can cover more ground. He’s got two bottles of Philip’s favorite cider on his bedside table, next to a wrapped present. Which reminds Philip that he’s holding his present for Lukas. He tightens his grip on it, having nearly dropped it in his shock.

He still stands there in the doorway, blinking, his stomach dropping and his chest tightening. They’d gotten caught under the mistletoe at the mall the other day, just outside Macy’s. Philip kissed Lukas hard and made some offhanded comment about wishing every ceiling was covered with mistletoe. He’d never expected this, and he feels like his heart is beating outside his body.

“You like it?” Lukas says, glancing up and then back at Philip again. “Took me like two hours. Dad didn’t know what the hell I was doing but he gave me extra string and tape when I asked, so I can’t imagine what he’s thinking.”

Philip snorts. “Does he know about the drinks?”

“No,” Lukas says, slowly, drawing out the word. He sounds proud of himself. Philip had a quiet Christmas morning with Helen and Gabe, full of hot chocolate and new jeans and a ton of film for his camera. They’d talked about college a little bit, but mostly it was just peaceful. Nice. Philip was happy, but he was anxious to get over to see Lukas. Sometimes, he just feels too far away.

Philip takes one step into the room and Lukas gasps, raising his eyebrows. “Babe,” Lukas says. “You’re standing under mistletoe.”

Philip smirks, putting his gift on edge of the dresser. “Oh really?” he says, looking up. “Is that what that is? I thought some shit was growing on your ceiling. Like maybe we’d have to call someone.”

Lukas smiles at him. “Nope, that’s the kissing plant, Philip. Now, if only there was someone you wanted to kiss here.” He sighs wistfully.

It smells really good. Philip looks up at it again as he steps forward, sees the intricate way Lukas put it all up and tugged it together. “Yeah,” Philip says, trying not to blurt out I love you I love you you’re the most wonderful thing in the entire world you’re the most amazing thing in my life thank God you’re alive because he’s trying to stay chill. “Yeah,” he says again, tugging on Lukas’s belt loops, pulling him in so their bodies are pressed together. “That’d be cool.”

“Guess you’re gonna have to settle for me,” Lukas says, shrugging. “I mean, it’s everywhere, and it’s the rules.”

“It is the rules,” Philip says. He reaches up and cups Lukas’s face in his hands, bringing their mouths together. The kiss is slow and soft, a sweetly familiar feeling blooming in Philip’s chest. It’s their second Christmas together, but there’s the promise of so many more. Lukas is so essential now. An extension of himself. Philip can’t live without that smile, those eyes, those hands that know exactly how to touch him. Words whispered quiet into the night, against the shell of Philip’s ear. Always the right ones. Lukas seems to read his mind sometimes, can tell how to soothe him no matter the situation. They can talk for hours. Hours and hours and hours and hours. They never get tired of each other.

They’ve said the word soulmate so many times now that Philip knows it’s true.

Their lips slide together and Lukas makes a little happy noise, hands pressing against Philip’s lower back. He smiles when they break apart, nuzzling their noses together.

“So since you’re standing under twenty-seven mistletoe bundles I owe you like, eight hundred and seven kisses.”

“Okay,” Philip says, swaying against him, “that math sounds right.”

Lukas kisses him again. Once, twice, twelve times before Philip is breathless and clinging to him. “We’re well on our way,” Lukas says, kissing him again.

Philip hums a little, content in a way that he once didn’t think was possible.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” Lukas says, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I love you.”

Philip leans in, pressing another kiss to Lukas’s shoulder and then burying his face there. Lukas’s embrace is his favorite place, the warmth and safety there overwhelming in the best way.

Philip wakes up slowly, and is instantly relieved the night before wasn’t plagued with nightmares. He can’t remember his dreams, but Lukas is here, breathing softly. Philip feels pretty okay.

The air outside seeps through the window next to Philip’s bed, nipping at his exposed skin and making him tremble. He’s already got multiple layers on, but it seems to seek out the spots where his clothes bunch up, trying to burrow into his bones. Lukas makes a little noise and moves lazily in his sleep, pulling Philip closer to him. Philip still has his eyes closed but he can imagine the look on Lukas’s face, his brows furrowed as he yanks the blankets up one-handed and pulls them up and around Philip’s frame. Philip smiles to himself.

“Closer,” Lukas grunts. “Too cold.”

@ladysofialara

To @ladysofialara

Merry Christmas !!,

Love you loads,

Your Secret Santa,

-Tatiana

Philip stays quiet as they get their tickets to the museum and head towards the planetarium, but he holds onto Lukas with both hands as his emotions start to get the best of him. There are a bunch of other people flooding into the planetarium at the same time they are, and Lukas tugs Philip down the main aisle, making for two seats near the end.

They sit down, still holding hands.

“This is really cute,” Philip whispers, once the show starts and the universe unfolds above them.

“I know you liked it before,” Lukas says.

They’d gone a while back, while Lukas was in astronomy. And Philip had more than liked it, he loved it. He hadn’t really allowed himself to think about it once he saw the plans for it, but now that he’s here—they’re here—Lukas’s hand settled on Philip’s knee—well, it’s hitting him. And before he can even form the words, Lukas whispers them into his ear.

“I wanted to give you the stars,” he says, kissing Philip on the cheek.

“Did you ever think we’d make it here? When you first came up to me in the convenience store?” Lukas squeezes Philip’s hand, laughing. He reaches up and wipes at his own eyes. “You mean when I was following you around because I was already in over my head after seeing you two times?” Philip grins, scooting closer to him. “Yeah,” he says. “Then. I know you were scared in the beginning, that you might not have…thought anything, really…” Lukas shakes his head, smiling softly. “I thought everything. Every single thought that went through my head was about you. Us. Together, in Tivoli, in New York…everywhere. I saw our whole lives together and I think that’s why I was so damn terrified. I’d never….I’d never felt anything like that before.” Philip reaches up to rub his hand over the core of Lukas’s chest, against the flutter of his heartbeat. “You scared now?” Lukas shakes his head. There’s a calmness in his eyes, determination, and no one has ever looked so sure about anything. “No,” he says. “I’m not scared at all.”

“Did you ever think we’d make it here? When you first came up to me in the convenience store?” Lukas squeezes Philip’s hand, laughing. He reaches up and wipes at his own eyes. “You mean when I was following you around because I was already in over my head after seeing you two times?” Philip grins, scooting closer to him. “Yeah,” he says. “Then. I know you were scared in the beginning, that you might not have…thought anything, really…” Lukas shakes his head, smiling softly. “I thought everything. Every single thought that went through my head was about you. Us. Together, in Tivoli, in New York…everywhere. I saw our whole lives together and I think that’s why I was so damn terrified. I’d never….I’d never felt anything like that before.” Philip reaches up to rub his hand over the core of Lukas’s chest, against the flutter of his heartbeat. “You scared now?” Lukas shakes his head. There’s a calmness in his eyes, determination, and no one has ever looked so sure about anything. “No,” he says. “I’m not scared at all.”

Philip opens his eyes and it’s quiet, quiet, quiet. Izzy isn’t licking him anymore, back on the floor, but now she’s biting that same spot she always bites on her front leg and Philip reaches out, smacking his hand on the coffee table, startling her.

“Hey,” Philip says. “Stop it, bad girl.”

Izzy just looks at him and then her eyes flick up above his head. Her tail starts wagging really fast. Philip tries to look too but his entire body weighs a thousand pounds and he can barely move. His vision is still hazy and he doesn’t know what the fuck is happening. But the air is buzzing around him, everything tinted warm and lovely all of a sudden, like an angel’s fluttered into the apartment. He smiles to himself. He feels good. He doesn’t know why but he feels really good and then there’s a hand sliding over his shoulder, reaching over the back of the couch. An electrified touch but still so soft, familiar.

Then a kiss is pressed to his cheek.

“Hey angel face.”

He looks down at his phone again and texts Philip. You outta there yet? I might get arrested rushing over there to find you.

He sighs, tapping on the edge of his phone, and then he feels it buzz.

Look up.

His heart leaps and he looks up, his eyes searching through the crowd. He imagines this oncoming group must be the people from Philip’s flight, and Lukas steps forward a little bit, putting his phone into his pocket. He’s shaking like he’s about to meet a celebrity and he laughs at himself, standing on his tip toes to look over heads.

And then he sees him.

Philip moves out from behind a group of women, and he’s grinning and waving at him. He’s wearing Lukas’s light blue shirt and Lukas’s breath catches as he watches him approach. He wants to run to him, wants to knock everybody over to get to him, but he’s still on the other side of security. He’s right there, he’s right there, he’s so close and Lukas chews on his lower lip to keep from yelling out and making a fool of himself.

“Are you having a good time?” Philip asks Lukas.

“Yes,” Lukas says. “But I miss you. I wish you were here. I can’t stop talking about you to everyone. I told Amy about you. Amy the bartender.”

“Oh yeah?” Philip says, his face hurting now from smiling so hard.

“Yeah,” Lukas says. “All about you. All the things. She said I should definitely marry you.”

Philip snorts, his stomach doing another joyful flip. “She sounds like a smart girl.”

“You’re a smart—you’re a smart,” Lukas says. “You’re the smartest and the cutest and my favorite of all the evers.”

“All the evers?” Philip asks, tucking his feet under himself. “All of them, are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” Lukas says. “You’re—you make me the most sure. You make me who I am—you make me me. You make me myself. Without you I feel lost.”

Philip sighs, rubbing his chest. “You’re never lost because I’m always with you. See, I’m with you right now. I’m in your ear talking to you.”

“You’re in my ear?” Lukas asks, incredulous.

Philip laughs, grinning. “I’m in your heart.”

“Yes,” Lukas says, sounding a lot more confident with that one. “Yes. You own my heart. My heart is yours.”