I'tell you what I think what I really really think

• there is a spider on your wall; you look closer, and it has a human face. it tells you it’s name is dave, and offers to pay rent. you kill it anyway. you have learned not to fall for their lies.

• whenever it storms, the power goes out. the phones go out. the water goes out. your mother goes out. she does not return. it is dark and someone else is in the room with you. they are breathing very loudly. you cannot see where they are.

• you try to catch a train. there is litter all over the train floor. trash on the seats. filth coats the walls. the walls are made of garbage. the train is a garbage heap, yet someone it still moves. none of the other passages seem to notice.

• in the summer, you hear bats outside. the bats hear you, too. you hide, as best you can, praying they do not find you.

• the prime minster is a lizard-thing wearing a human skin. it intends to kill us all. you know this. everyone knows this. you do not talk about it. you are not sure how you know it. you are terrified.

• “the weather is lovely, isn’t it,” everyone says, as bushfires burn outside. firefighters are appearing out of thin air to combat the blaze. there are thousands of them. they aren’t enough. “Lovely,” the people continue to say. “Lovely.”

• there are always tourists everywhere. none of them are from other countries, but they are not from this country, either. you never find out where they come from. you never find out where they go when they leave.

• old men sit on their verandas with sharpened sticks, muttering about the new zealanders, and war. you have never actually seen a new zealander. you aren’t sure if they are real.

• hundreds people in the streets are brawling. they appear to be on two clear teams. one team screams “AFL.” the other screams, “NRL.” they are killing each other. they say they will not stop until the supreme sport is determined once and for all.

• you go to the beach everyday. the beach goes to you. the beach says it loves you and only you. you know it is lying. it says that to everyone. you continue going everyday.

• winter is a myth. everyone knows this. the weatherman tries to convince the people otherwise. the weatherman is made fun of by a mildly humorous newspaper comic, and is never heard from again.

• the television is bad. it is awful. it is sickening. you watch it every night. you want to stop, but you can’t.

"To answer a lot of people's question: this package is [4lbs] there's also, [10lbs] and [20lbs] ones (which used to be sold in most stores, but you can find them only in specialized ones nowadays). There are some tiny ones, like 1lb! Those are the ones you buy to carry when you travel."

Croatians apparently take a pound of toothpast with them when they travel.

Couldn’t find a template I liked for OC playlists, so I made one myself! feel free to use for whatever just keep my watermark :3

(transparent and filled out versions beneath the cut!)