Lady Libido

❓No dumb questions amnesty - can you explain this [line/dialogue/moment from the story]?

🏴‍☠️ Were there any points in which your characters tried (or succeeded) to commit mutiny against your planned plot? Where did they most want to rebel?

🥇 What scene were you most excited to write? Did it end up being the one you enjoyed writing the most?

🙏 Was there anything your character(s) really really really wanted to do? Did you let them?

🍆 What scene do you think was the hottest? What scene do you think your readers thought was the hottest? Are they the same?

🔮Have you imagined what happens to [character(s)] in the future? Or does the story only exist to you as a moment in time?

🔎 What detail(s) in the story are you particularly captivated with? Is there any behind the scenes info or backstory?

🧭 What was the key choice or decision you had to make for this story? If you had chosen differently, what would the story have turned into?

📖 Could the story have been a different length? What would you have included/removed?

🫂How would the story have changed if you wrote it for [this pairing] instead?

💭 If you could wish into creation a transformative piece for your story, made by a real human who isn’t you, what would it be? Art, video, sequel, podfic, etc.

📋What was your main goal for the story and/or writing experience? Do you think that you achieved it?

🎤 Do you think the story was written in your typical voice? Why or why not?

👉👈What two stories have you written that are most similar? Why?

👈👉What two stories have you written that are most different? Why?

"Kinky Shit - What do you get out of it?"

The first issue of a collaborative zine I'm editing is now out! This zine is a mix of illustrations, poetry and essays exploring what kink brings to different people practicing it.

You can download the pdf for free.

If you want to financially support my creative work, I have a ko-fi page where you can tip me or buy some of my poetry zines.

@darkestmetamorphosis #imagine a woman who is neither pregnant barefoot in the kitchen nor a girlboss pegging a stupid man… #no nvm sounds fake

@tunesykari #its either She's An Abused Victim or Gentle Tradwife or Hes Pegged Stupid and im SICK OF IT!!

@einzbuuuurn #but yeah….i am all for femdom but damn it’s not ALWAYS about power dynamics? #like…..maybe it’s a mutual thing? maybe they—god forbid—genuinely like each other???

@feydrautha #the whole bs about Her pegging Him (and this being justice/feminism/etc instead of the focus on femdom being hot) is v telling #like oh Okay you consider penetration as actually being about power and the penetrated is always by humiliated during the act

@kachimera #they can only imagine tradwife sexism or inversed roles sexism #what if the boy and the girl considered eachother equal and liked eachother genuinely? nooo that's not how relationships work (sarcasm)

@beevean #girlboss pegging the malewife my beloathed

@swallowtail-ageha #its either weird tradwife content extremely ooc booktok tropes slop or she pegs him and hes a submissive malewife #one must imagine the hetjoshi happy

@whatsaterrarium #its so infuriating bc some people will try sooooo hard to be Good Empowering Feminists and then its just misogyny again #you can either have Relegating The Woman To Womanly Things Because It's A Het ShipTM #OR #you get the Well Actually She's Bi And She Pegs Him And She's A Hashtag Girlboss He's Just An Idiot Who's Obsessed With Her treatment #and its like well. you recognize you are still depriving her of interiority right #you are still erasing her character in the name of making her about her relationship with a man. youre just positioning her as domineering instead of subservient #this is not the cool feminist win you think it is #anyways this is about general het ships. speaking as a hetjoshi. idk who doksoo are but i stand with you op

Thank you, ALL OF YOU.

We are not alone!!!!

Admittedly, I approach this as someone that makes original work, not so much shipping fandom, but the problems are still the same.

I once shared a favorite ship dynamic, on other platforms and I got so many comments about how she should peg him or there should be femdom to make it better. It's just... so exhausting.

It's one thing if you personally enjoy it, it's another to have people insisting that it somehow makes the relationship more equal or it just existing is some inherent statement. That just implies you find something inherently demeaning about being penetrated and I'm not about that. And I'm happy to see others on the same wavelength.

Personally, I think making the partners have comparable social and financial power in their relationship is a lot more interesting. It's astounding how it's so difficult to find truly egalitarian, mutual power, mutual devotion, mutual attraction, het pairings.

@snail-cascade-of-snails #i actually think you can write toxic and unbalanced relationships well if you do it with purpose #we've been conditioned to believe that toxic het always sucks because it's usually written unintentionally or in a boring way #but toxic het can be good I SWEAR!!! #anyway healthy het relationships are nice and simple but if i want more flavor toxic het is good for me

@intyalote #imagine a woman who is neither pregnant barefoot in the kitchen nor a girlboss pegging a stupid man… #no nvm sounds fake

@tunesykari #its either She's An Abused Victim or Gentle Tradwife or Hes Pegged Stupid and im SICK OF IT!!

@einzbuuuurn #but yeah….i am all for femdom but damn it’s not ALWAYS about power dynamics? #like…..maybe it’s a mutual thing? maybe they—god forbid—genuinely like each other???

@feydrautha #the whole bs about Her pegging Him (and this being justice/feminism/etc instead of the focus on femdom being hot) is v telling #like oh Okay you consider penetration as actually being about power and the penetrated is always by humiliated during the act

@kachimera #they can only imagine tradwife sexism or inversed roles sexism #what if the boy and the girl considered eachother equal and liked eachother genuinely? nooo that's not how relationships work (sarcasm)

@beevean #girlboss pegging the malewife my beloathed

@swallowtail-ageha #its either weird tradwife content extremely ooc booktok tropes slop or she pegs him and hes a submissive malewife #one must imagine the hetjoshi happy

@whatsaterrarium #its so infuriating bc some people will try sooooo hard to be Good Empowering Feminists and then its just misogyny again #you can either have Relegating The Woman To Womanly Things Because It's A Het ShipTM #OR #you get the Well Actually She's Bi And She Pegs Him And She's A Hashtag Girlboss He's Just An Idiot Who's Obsessed With Her treatment #and its like well. you recognize you are still depriving her of interiority right #you are still erasing her character in the name of making her about her relationship with a man. youre just positioning her as domineering instead of subservient #this is not the cool feminist win you think it is #anyways this is about general het ships. speaking as a hetjoshi. idk who doksoo are but i stand with you op

Thank you, ALL OF YOU.

We are not alone!!!!

Admittedly, I approach this as someone that makes original work, not so much shipping fandom, but the problems are still the same.

I once shared a favorite ship dynamic, on other platforms and I got so many comments about how she should peg him or there should be femdom to make it better. It's just... so exhausting.

It's one thing if you personally enjoy it, it's another to have people insisting that it somehow makes the relationship more equal or it just existing is some inherent statement. That just implies you find something inherently demeaning about being penetrated and I'm not about that. And I'm happy to see others on the same wavelength.

Personally, I think making the partners have comparable social and financial power in their relationship is a lot more interesting. It's astounding how it's so difficult to find truly egalitarian, mutual power, mutual devotion, mutual attraction, het pairings.

@snail-cascade-of-snails #i actually think you can write toxic and unbalanced relationships well if you do it with purpose #we've been conditioned to believe that toxic het always sucks because it's usually written unintentionally or in a boring way #but toxic het can be good I SWEAR!!! #anyway healthy het relationships are nice and simple but if i want more flavor toxic het is good for me

I woke up on sunday morning to find that my whole account had been terminated out of the blue. VERY DISTRESSING!!! if this has just happened to you, YOU CAN GET YOUR ACCOUNT RESTORED. the best part is, everything remains intact! your messages, asks, followers, posts, etc. don't fret!! they restored my account only a day after it had been terminated. usually, it takes one to two weeks for a response. HERE'S WHAT I DID!!!

it's important that you send a SUPPORT TICKET. don't randomly email them!!! go to https://www.tumblr.com/support and choose "terminated account" as your reason.

include the email of the account that got terminated. this makes it easier for them to recover it! if you can't send it from that email, just include it in the message.

include the following: to the best of your knowledge, you have re-read the site rules and you haven't broken any site guidelines. state how important your account is to you, and stress how thankful you are for their help in recovering it. BE POLITE. EVEN IF YOU'RE UPSET OR PISSED OFF!!!! it significantly ups your chances of being listened to. I included the phrase "I'm sure you understand the importance of this" which is corporatespeak for "FIX THIS OR SO HELP ME GOD" and that seemed to get their attention.

you can also @ support on tumblr with the issue, and @ them on another site (e.g. twitter). there's a chance they'll see and respond quicker! cover all your options. the reddit for tumblr account termination is no longer active so don't bother with that.

if they don't respond within a few days, reply to the confirmation email they sent after you sent in your request. follow up! ask for updates! reiterate the urgency of the situation! make sure you're not responding to an address with "noreply" in it!

I almost lost this account because of my lists of different 18+ supporting services, Tumblr had flagged one of my links in the post as spam and thus killed my account as well as blocked my email. I had to make a ticket first from the original account email, and then I had to make a second ticket with an entirely different email account. (I was desperate to get my account back, trying again with a second email account was just a last swing)

Because I had a pretty good idea of what had happened (I lost my access to my account not even a minute after making the post so it was likely some internal auto-flag) I explained what I suspected, apologized for the post, and offered to remove whatever offending link it was. Thankfully, making that inquiry on my second email was enough to get a conversation going again and I was able to recover my account with a warning to not link to the same service, again. In total I think it took me about a month to get my account back, largely because my initial requests weren't responded to and I had no idea what to do about that. (also it's worth noting that when I got my account back, my side blogs were not initially restored. I had to submit another ticket for that, but that was taken care of rather quickly)

If you personally do not have another email to contact them with, it doesn't hurt to have a friend make an inquiry for you, because anything can do to get them to open that initial conversation with you is the foot in the door to getting your account back.

any [insert __] is for the sender to fill in :)

1 ⧽. if you could sit down and finish any one of your wips without anything stopping you (time, tiredness, etc), which fic would you choose? tell us about it if you want!

2 ⧽. if you could sit down and finish any completely new fic without anything stopping you (time, tiredness, etc), what would you write? tell us about it if you want!

3 ⧽. what's something you like about your writing?

4 ⧽. is there an au or trope that you haven't written before, but would want to try?

5 ⧽. is there a certain kind of fic that feels the most satisfying to finish? any reason why?

6 ⧽. if you were to write a part two/sequel to a fic, what fic would you want to write it for?

7 ⧽. is there a fic you wish you received feedback on, but didn't get any/much? this ask game is asking someone else to then give feedback on said fic, pretty pretty please!!!

8 ⧽. what part of [insert fic] is your favorite?

9 ⧽. tell us about a wip/idea that you're excited about!

10 ⧽. what genre is generally the easiest or most enjoyable for you to write? which is the hardest?

11 ⧽. if you were to rewrite [insert fic] with [insert different character/ship] how do you think it might change?

12 ⧽. what's a song or two you associate with [insert fic]?

13 ⧽. do you have any writing projects/goals/plans you're working on/want to work on?

14 ⧽. is there anything outside of your normal content that you want to write?

15 ⧽. if you wrote a fic called [insert title] with [insert character/ship] what do you think it might be about?

16 ⧽. if you wrote a fic called [insert title] what character/ship would you want to write it for?

17 ⧽. are there any songs you want to write a songfic for?

18 ⧽. how do you want your writing to feel to your readers?

19 ⧽. give a hint/teaser about something you're writing without any context or explanation! tease us haha

20 ⧽. answer any one of the other questions that you want to!

I got a couple responses, but I didn't have nearly as many followers then, and I want to do this again. Share with me the good sex scenes you know in fiction.

The rules:

No ironic appreciation. You have to sincerely think it's good.

You can define "good" as being just hot, or having serious literary merit, or both. But I'm most curious about ones that are both. Much like dunking on bad sex scenes, I think it's too easy and dodging vulnerability to advance the plot or character understanding with intentionally-unsexy sex.

It has to be published fiction. I'm not doubting the existence of good sex scenes in self-published works, I know several, but the point here is to provide evidence to doubters that "serious" literature (even if it's genre fiction) can have good sex scenes.

i've already shown this to the doujin circle, but seeing the final shop visits for the latest comic campaign per incoming domain is *fascinating*. here's the breakdown:

bsky --------- 830

itchio -------- 155

kradeelav.com 115

tumblr ------- 90

google ------ 25

dreamwidth - 9

other -------- 4

a few notes:

*there was roughly equal marketing on bsky/kradeelav.com/tumblr/(mastodon!baraag).

*kradeelav.com being above tumblr (solidly no3!) shows you the power of personal websites, doesnt it?

*itchio's visits started slow but then ramped up when the comic hit the front page for a few tags.

this whole campaign was not profit focused in the least (the slim $$ after shipping/printing is mentally sorted as "seed money" for future doujin), but broad data like this is still useful for estimating where to focus for pre-orders to save on mental energy. work smarter, not harder.

why the transparency?

Romance Instagram has a very Particular way of advertising their books, & I thought it would be amusing to riff on that. This is related to my original fiction featuring my character Ketna, and @vicekillx 's character, Xerxes. It is still being updated and currently sits at over 110K words. Some of this is tongue in cheek, but all of it is 100% accurate.