Lady At Arms

A lot has changed since then.

My TKD school got taken over by a turd who turned it into a McDojo and pushed out anyone who might have challenged his authority, and my attempts at starting again failed.

My health has gone downhill, with chronic fatigue and probably arthritis hitting hard.

I've started again in Shotokan Karate. Currently a white belt, but we'll see what happens at the first grading in December (was meant to be May, but well....)

I wouldn't be comfortable wearing my black belt for anything at the moment. It's a symbol of mental and physical confidence and ability, and I'm not there.

I will be, though. I'm going to get my fitness, my physical confidence, my abilities, back to where they were, and further. It's a different road to do it the second time, with more of the reality of disability at the forefront.

So, here’s a little snippet of the spreadsheet:

On the left, we have each of the belts, along whether they require that thing (an X), or whether a previous grade required it (a .), or not (a blank).

It goes on a while longer, with the rest of the Kihon, the Kata, and the Kumite.

I made the spreadsheet by opening up the grading syllabuls for Shotokan Karate International Australia, and pulling out each of the things listed, in order (first column of text). With some googled research, I translated each of the names into instructions I’m familiar with as a study aid.

To set it up, I went to the 9th kyu page, and copied everything out. Then, I went to the 8th kyu, and copied everything out, inserting extra rows as needed to keep it all in a sensible order (or, sensible to me). Repeat until I got to 1st kyu information. Then some formatting to make it pretty.

So, I’m preparing for my first karate grading, in December — it was meant to be in May, with a second in November, but well... *gestures at the world*.

Given my previous experience, I’m pretty sure it will be more placement test, rather than the standard “white belt’s first grading”. So, I’ve been pushing myself to learn as much as I can of what’s unfamiliar.

The kihon (fundamentals), I’m pretty fine with. Terminology is the big point of difficulty, what with it being in Japanese instead of the English I’m used to.

The kata (patterns), I was most nervous. But I’ve managed to get reasonably confident with Heian Shodan, Nidan, Sandan, and just today I’ve gotten confident with Heian Yondan. That’s enough kata to get me to senior purple belt/4th kyu! And I still have another two months.

The kumite (sparring) is an interesting one to learn. I’ve always struggled with set step sparring routines, since there’s less context to the memorisation than the longer sequences in patterns. But I’ll get there.

The thing I’ve found most useful is getting the grading syllabus, and laying everything out on a spreadsheet. I’ve written down the translations for all the kihon - with much googling - and that’s been a great study aid for that. I’ve marked which things are needed for each grade, and how confident I am with them.

So, I have acquired my first canvas gi. It feels fantastic to wear. Lovely snap to it, too. I’ll need to take hte arms and legs up a little bit, because it thinks I should be taller than I am.

Last night, at my second lesson of Shotokan Karate, I nearly passed out. Felt rather stupid about it, because of course I did.

The problem is, last time I was training with any good intensity, it was preparation for a 2nd Dan grading that never ended up actually happening. My mind remembers how to push me that hard. My body does not remember how to endure that sort of push.

So the next step is to remember how to tune the pushing to the endurance I have (plus a little more), rather than the endurance I want to get back to. Patience.

So, I just had my first lesson of Shotokan Karate.

It was good.

Rather familiar, and I'm struck by how close it is to the first style of Taekwon-Do I trained in ... Or should I say, how close that style of Taekwon-Do is to Shotokan.

A lot of the movements are pretty close to things I learned a decade and a half ago, but have trained myself out of doing. We'll see how long it takes to train myself back.

I know this blog has been silent for ages. So, to catch you all up on where I’ve been:

I quit my old Taekwon-Do club because the guy taking it over was emotionally abusive and financially exploitative.

I tried starting a new branch of another club with someone else leaving at the same time for the same reason.

She kicked me to the curb as soon as it looked like success might be possible

Trying to run my side of things on my own... fell completely flat

Health problems for most of this year mean I’ve had a sword in my hand once since April

BUT! I’ve been looking around for a new martial art to train in. I’ve been looking for something fairly traditional, but not Taekwon-Do because of complicated reasons.

I’ve found a Shotokan Karate school nearby that looks like it has some potential. I’m going to take a trial class next Monday, all going well.

I don’t particularly have any objections to MMA on that score. I don’t watch it, personally, but that’s more a combination of apathy and lack of access. What I’ve seen (mostly by being copied onto Tumblr) has been reasonably interesting, even if their faces get a bit red and leaky as they go. I’d not compete, but I’ve no objection to its existance.

One thing that has occurred to me, after some recent tournaments in which I had a reasonably good outcome, is that my mindset is not exactly as I feel it to be.

Generally, I’m a relatively meditative fighter, especially with sword in hand, and I find that if I start trying to think, I overthink, and do worse.

I’ve been performing well enough in tournaments that I can consider myself a solidly mid-range fencer. I’ll usually place fairly well, but I’m not in the top level of the game by any means. And I think I’ve found my next stumbling block there.

In the past, what’s been holding me back has been purely my lack of skill. Insufficient precision and control to put the opponent’s blade where I want, and my blade where they don’t want it.

But now, I think it’s actually my mindset, and not even on a conscious level.

When I come up against certain of the top-range fighters, I have no problem. Generally, my teachers, who I’ve faced many times and am reasonably comfortable with.

When I come up against some of the others, that my teachers can well stand toe-to-toe with, the fight is over in a distressingly brief moment.

I think it’s just that I’m letting myself see too much in them. 

I see a bigger problem than there might be, perhaps an insurmountable one, and so I change my fencing to suit. And then I do worse than perhaps I should.

I mean, it depends on the starting point, and which martial art you’re doing. In general, bulk is mostly slow-twitch muscle, which is good for lifting heavy things, while I’ve found much more value from training fast-twitch muscle, which is good for moving and reacting quickly.

Generally, I’ve found the best results from a combination of dynamic stretches, particularly leg raises (for that “the foot bone’s connected to the head bone” joy), and some physio exercises that I was given for my back.

So, I’ve been involved in martial arts for nearly fourteen years now (almost half my life... there’s a scary thought) and there’s something that occasionally makes the back of my brain wonder if I’m actually making any progress.

Every time there’s a good action movie, there’ll be behind the scenes footage of the actors practising their fight scenes, and on first glance it looks like they’re doing some incredibly complicated martial arts. Definitely things that I can’t do, despite how long I’ve been at this.

On first viewing, that can be a little discouraging.

But the important thing to remember, and that I have to remind myself of often, is that what they’re doing is not what we’re doing.

While it’s a display of excellent control, positioning, timing, speed, and often endurance, all vital skills for a martial artist, there’s one skill not involved in their performances that, for us, ties everything together and makes what they do impossible.

They aren’t reacting.

Movie martial arts (and other combat) sequences are choreographed. When done well, they can flow like a real encounter, but without reaction in the mix, there are moves that they can do that wouldn’t work.

That parry-riposte-cut-cut-void combination in the sword fight? They can do that because they know the opponent won’t turn their thrust into a feint-disengage-cut sequence. They can get into that complicated bind because their opponents elbows will stay out of their face.

That complicated kick sequence with a lot of spinning that looks so intimidating on screen? That’s only possible because of their absolute certainly that their opponent won’t shift unexpectedly, or block one of the kicks in a way that throws them off balance, or close the range part way through one of the spins.