Just looking for myself!!

I'm done....I'm done trying to leave hints for you. Either you're just too foolish to get that or you're just ignoring it intentionally. I don't want to keep hurting myself by holding back feelings which i know i can never express because I know you don't feel the same. I tried my best not to fall for it again but even the smallest form of affection spins my head and convinces me to fall for that trap again. I used to get so excited when your texts popped up on my phone but slowly that excitement is turning into this strange ache in my heart which i wanna get rid of now. It hurts sometimes not having mutual feelings and always choosing the wrong one but that's part of life which i gotta accept later or now.