you can never go back. this is your one life. you had a bad childhood and that's it. you lost your teen years to mental illness and that's it. you're miserable in your 20s and that's it. you just go forward
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A very big analysis on the new Welcome Home update
HELLLOOOOO EVERYONEEEE
I havent done one of these in a while, but omg the newest update was everything I ever hoped for and more!!
So today, we'll be talking about EVERYTHING (+ lil theories here and there)
BIG BIG SPOILERS AHEAD
Julie Joyful, Insecurity, Pressure, and Toxic Positivity
This update really gave us some interesting insight to the star of this update, Julie.
Julie is a rainbow monster, and a very happy one as her name would imply. And yet, she's not really like the rest of her family. She looks different from them for instance.
Her brother Jonesy states that rainbow monsters 'stick with one color', which means that they only stick to one color and don't really wear other colors. Even Julie's bio states how different in appearance Julie is from her siblings.
Recent evidence has revealed that Julie’s family consisted of a "band" of rainbow monsters that were a monochromatic color palette rather than a full rainbow like Julie herself.
Sure, Julie does have pink in her color pallete, she also has an array of other colors! Her hair isn’t a shade of pink, it’s yellow. Her legs aren’t a shade of pink either, it’s blue and green.
Franny also states that while horns come in different shapes and sizes, the bigger the better obviously. Julie's horns however are very small compared to the rest of the rainbow monsters.
Not to mention that she seems to forget or miss valuable information about rainbow monsters and Franny has to keep correcting her over and over again.
"There's more than that, Julie!" and "Missing things again, Julie."
And unlike her siblings, she lives away from them, which is unusual for a rainbow monster, where they normally live in a band.
She also doesn't seem to have an instrument, as stated in the Springtime Salutations book, "Julie, however, is her own instrument."
Speaking of the book, she also woke up too early for springtime.
And while her siblings were kind enough to bring Spring early this time, that doesn't mean that Julie wasn't affected at all by this. She knows how different she is from the rest of her siblings, and she's insecure about this fact.
This all culminates with the black flower, the one flower that she cannot bloom.
Rainbow monsters have a responsibility during Springtime. Franny melts away the snow with the morning dew, Jonesy makes the grass grow, Bea makes the sun shine, and Julie makes the flowers bloom. That is Julie's job, her one job of the entire year.
If she can't do that properly, then she would be proving to her siblings that she is a faulty rainbow monster that cannot do things by herself, that she cannot function properly away from her familial support. Which is the reason why she's so adamant on not rejoining the band, despite her siblings best efforts to sway her.
FRANNY: (With a commanding tone.) Back to us- Julie, when are you going to finally join our band?
JONESY: Yeah, sis- What’s a rainbow monster band without its dynamite drummer?
BEA: (Wistfully said.) Just think of it, sister dear… A colorful quartet pushing the seasons!
JULIE: (Nervous and hesitant) That sounds… (Pretends to be losing signal) Oop- Oh no! The sounds! We’re breaking up!- (Whispering harshly.) Hang up the phone, Frank! Hang up!
And that's not to mention that she feels insecure not only towards her siblings as a rainbow monster, but also in the neighborhood.
She states that while she gets along well with everyone in the neighborhood, she's not particularly close with anyone besides Frank. Barnaby and Howdy tease her which probably makes her feel even more insecure, particularly in her ability to make others laugh, which again, brings JOY to people.
While she likes Poppy, Sally, Eddie, and Wally, again, she's not particularly close with either of them. Frank seems to be her only form of support in the neighborhood.
And yet, this particular scene is interesting, because according to Julie in The Julie Guide to being Joyful, her relationship with Howdy and Barnaby in particular are different.
She seems like she's lying to Wally and perhaps to herself that she has a great relationship with EVERYONE in the neighborhood, she's Julie Joyful! She's happy all the time and everyone loves her.
And yet, Wally seems to call her out on this. Both in the storybook and in the /regardforgetfulnesssilence link.
"Did all that really happen, Julie?" He says, as if he knows that Julie is lying but wants her to tell the story again. Reword the story so that she's telling the truth, but she doesn't want to. It's easier for her to live in a lie.
Which is another reason why she doesn't want to go back to her siblings. She would have to leave, not the neighborhood, but Frank. Her only form of actual support.
(Said inside her head. It sounds like static. ) If I can’t make a flower bloom, if I can’t bring Springtime around- What would I do? Will I have to leave? Will I have to go back? I’d just-
While I do believe her siblings love her and Julie does love them back, again, they make her feel insecure as a rainbow monster. Her older siblings always manage to get their job right, they have monochromatic colors, their horns are bigger, and unlike her, they never wake up too early for springtime.
JULIE: Hi, Wally! And hello to my sweet saccharine siblings!
FRANNY: Is that our youngest sister here?
JONESY: She’s our sweetest too-
BEA: Don’t forget our most colorful! Julie, what could YOU need help with? You’re one of us!
Ironic how Bea says this line. Julie doesn't feel like one of them. She doesn't feel like a rainbow monster. Her one job of the entire year is to make the flowers bloom and if she can't do that, then what use is she?
This is why she is so terrified of that flower. That one flower that she cannot bloom. Its a crack in the joyous facade that she created. Sure, its just one flower, but what if its two next Spring? 10 after that? Whole fields of wilting flowers, dead flowers? Because of one mistake of waking too early and bringing in Spring when the time just wasn't right?
Then she would have to leave Home, and leave Frank. And its no surprise that she holds Frank in such a high admiration. He's the smartest neighbor in Home and he's her only true friend. She's especially terrified of disappointing him in particular.
Because while I do think Julie sees Frank as her best friend, I believe that because of the Sweet Briar book, Julie sees Frank as some sort of prince in shining armor coming in to save her.
Note that she doesn't view Frank in a romantic light, when the scene came for Frank to awaken princess Julie from her slumber with a kiss, Julie just jumps from her bed and the kiss just never happens.
Frank is her only person in the neighborhood that actually supports her and her only true friend, thus, Julie sees Frank as someone that's saving her. Keeping her away from the dangers of leaving with her siblings and going away, thus losing Frank (and her support), and perhaps even away from the responsibility of being a rainbow monster.
"I'm doing the best that I can, but it's nice to let someone else lead."
As mentioned before, if Julie joins the band, she'll be the drummer. However, Julie is her own instrument, she marches along to the beat of her own drum lol.
The drummer's role in a band is to provide the rhythmic foundation of the group, providing a steady beat and tempo. A drummer's role is pretty strict, if they mess up (like if they come in too early or if they become off-tempo), that messes up the entire song.
Julie already knows that she's not that great of a rainbow monster, she messes up constantly, forgets facts that a rainbow monster should know, wakes up too early for Spring, and can only make MOST of the flowers bloom. If she goes back to her siblings, joins their band, and becomes their drummer, then she's not only risking messing up her job of making the flowers bloom, but also the rest of her siblings' job. What if she misses just one beat? Would that jeopardize everything? What would her siblings say if she messes up and makes them mess up too?
What will happen to Springtime? Will the grass and flowers die? Will the sun never shine? Will the rain never come to wash away the snow? Will she trap the entire neighborhood in an endless winter?
It's a risk that Julie just doesn't want to take. This is why she starts getting more and more aggressive towards the black flower, because it's jeopardizing her stay at the neighborhood, and threatening her to leave everything behind.
Which leads us to the ending of /tearsremembranceinstability, Julie gets more and more agitated towards the flower. Flat out threatening it when it's not going to be blooming anytime soon.
"You won't be around for much longer--" "I'll never see you again, no one will, no one will ever know you were here--" THOSE SOUND LIKE THREATS!
Which leads me to believe that Julie did something awful to that flower. Either she forced that flower to bloom, or she killed it.
What ever she did to that flower, Frank witnessed it. And Julie knows what Frank saw.
But then, something strange happens.
This weird little bug flies in at the end and stares at us, the viewer.
And we have seen this bug before! On the miscellaneous section!
Opening the image under a new tab reveals that this toy is called a 'buggle'.
While it is a cute little toy, it seems out of place for this thing to just pop out. It feels random.
But ah! It is NOT random dear viewer!
Taken from the awayfrompryingeyes.net site.
'Buggle' sounds like a mix of the word 'bug' and 'beagle'. AND CAN YOU GUESS WHICH NEIGHBORS HAVE A CONNECTION TO THE WORDS BUG AND BEAGLE????
Frank, Barnaby, and Howdy! Three neighbors that have had an impact on Julie's insecurities.
Both Howdy and Barnaby make Julie's insecurities worse. They constantly tease her, with Barnaby in particular saying that he doesn't find Julie's jokes all that funny and Howdy saying that she better get some new material.
Frank on the other hand alleviates those insecurities, making him a huge source of comfort, but to the point that she's terrified of disappointing him.
The buggle seems to be a manifestation of Julie's insecurities and anxieties, manifesting itself during Julie's lowest point.
Which concludes to this. What will the next update be about?
Because our guy W definitely has some ideas...
Perhaps the buggle is foreshadowing, either the next update will be focusing on either Frank, Barnaby, or Howdy!
Over the past months, I've observed the many theories regarding Julie Joyful. While there are a few who point out the abuse in her family, many acknowledge more in the secret videos (CONGRATULATIONS) and the relationship between Frank and Julie, rather than the root cause of her unstable behaviour, even to the extent of dismissing the abuse itself, and claiming that the Joyful siblings were nothing but nice to her.
Now, I am not here to put down others' thoughts on this project, but to paint the Joyful siblings as 'caring' and 'only looking after their little sister' is so jarring to me since we have a plethora of heavy implications where the Joyful family are actually more than what meets the eye! (After all, that's the premise of the whole ARG, right?)
As someone who primarily focuses on Julie throughout many updates, I believe the 'Julie is Abused' theory is accurate in her lore.
1. PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and the Unstable Behaviour of Julie Joyful
There are many instances in which Julie explicitly shows a lack of self-worth or self-esteem. The prime example is the storybook Primrella, where, on the very last page, Julie refuses to refer to herself as Primrose and instead sticks to the name her abusive sisters gave her.
FRANK
Are - are you sure it’s not something else? Maybe... Maybe like Primrose? Remember?
JULIE: Nope! I’m all in on the soot! Prim-rella it is!
SALLY: [under her breath] My writing... My eloquence… [sighs] Foiled again…
In the early pages, too, Julie was seen being delighted in handling all the chores, implying that she has been exposed to harsh conditions and is even used to being mistreated.
SALLY: Prim-rella, shine my slippers!
EDDIE: Prim-rella, shine my hats!
POPPY: Prim-rella, shine whatever this is!
JULIE: [wailing as many items are shoved into her arms] WO-OA-OAH! [happily] You got it sis!
SALLY: [laughing nervously before whispering sharply] No, no! Your character, Julie! Anguish! Loss! Despair!
JULIE: Oh, yeah! [repeating the line more sadly] Boohoo! Waaaah! You got it!
Lastly, during the first transformation, Julie compliments the ragged dress.
JULIE: Mr Fox, Mouse, I’ve never been happier! Stains have never looked more stylish! Just wait until my sisters see me now!
But says nothing much in the second transformation. Instead, it was Howdy who was giving all the compliments.
HOWDY: Prim-rella’s subjectively beautiful dress turned into a drop-dead, show-stopping, head-turning gown made’a pure magic! [Glitter sound] She even had the most beautiful pair of Mary Janes you've ever seen! [Hopeful melody plays.]
You could argue that in this part, Julie does not want to conform to gender norms and bring up her genderfluid identity (has not been revealed yet). It's not a bad assumption, but I think her struggle with gender identity ties more to her not wanting to join the band.
I also want to address the people who belittle her demeanour, claiming that Julie was only insecure because of her siblings' fame.
There's a reason for every action and for every behaviour. Nobody is born just insecure, just like how no child is evil. The upbringing is always a factor in these characteristics.
For one does not choose to be self-destructive out of the blue. Events, actions, and words shape us, whether we notice it or not.
2. Proof and Explanation of the Abuse in the Joyful Family
Let's begin with the pieces of media that are on the website itself:
a. The insistence on being the carbon copy of the Joyful siblings (excluding Julie), and how it is the only right way.
a.1.
FRANNY: Disoriented and frantic?
JONESY: Are you jonesing for the good?
BEA: Just please remember to be,
ALL: Like the entire joyful family would!
a.2.
FRANNY: There’s more to it than that, Julie! Rainbow Monsters have special horns that grow in sunshine and shed when it's cold. Rainbow monster horns come in all different shapes and colors, but the bigger the better, obviously.
a.3.
JONESY: Did you say color? I’m in the know on that one, sis! Rainbow monsters come in all hues, toos! From our heads to our roots, from our leaves to our nose! We stick to one color, so that together we’re totally kaleidoscopic!
a.4.
BEA: Yes… But we don’t do this all alone, Jonesy… Rainbow monsters live together in groups called a band… And a band of monsters are only as melodious as their harmony together!
a.5.
FRANNY: (With a commanding tone.) Back to us- Julie, when are you going to finally join our band?
JONESY: Yeah, sis- What’s a rainbow monster band without its dynamite drummer?
BEA: (Wistfully said.) Just think of it, sister dear… A colorful quartet pushing the seasons!
JULIE: (Nervous and hesitant) That sounds… (Pretends to be losing signal) Oop- Oh no! The sounds! We’re breaking up!- (Whispering harshly.) Hang up the phone, Frank! Hang up!
Notice how Julie doesn't own any of these characteristics, including not wanting to be a part of their band?
Julie stands out like a sore thumb for obvious reasons, and her siblings are aware of this.
Which is why they are trying so hard to convince her to come back, solely so she will embrace the norm and be purified, despite being physically unable to do so.
It's basically the equivalent of telling a person with no legs to walk.
(No, not crawling, but to legitimately walk.)
The argument that the Joyful siblings are oblivious to the great effect their words have on Julie is very weak. Their whole gimmick is to follow their appearance and image. They would be very dense not to notice the loud difference between them and Julie.
The tauntings are (clearly) not accidental.
b. The First in Hierarchy; Franny
Occasionally, Franny shows a sort of hostility towards Julie, in which she often scolds her.
FRANNY: Missing things again, Julie!
FRANNY:(Said accusingly) Because someone here doesn’t!
JONESY: Yeah, someone here doesn’t.
After collecting information about Franny, I realise the said information hints that Franny was the one who mostly initiates the abuse and is overall controlling.
First, the cards:
The first card seems to target Julie, as she is the one who holds the bouquet cards.
On the other hand, the second card says, "You're in charge. Steal a card from a fellow rainbow monster."
This most likely implies that Franny abuses her power as a leader, taking advantage of and grooming other rainbow monsters so they wouldn't question her ways.
Secondly, the storybook Springtime Salutations:
We all realise that the narrator shares the same voice as Franny herself, but I haven't seen anyone question why this has happened.
I believe this is a smart choice to subtly show Franny's need to assert control, even if the story itself centres around Julie.
At the end of the audio, the narrator (Franny) takes the wheel by interrupting in the middle of Julie's last dialogue. Once again, hastily stealing the spotlight for what was supposed to be her sister's.
Not to mention, the narrator compliments Franny merely throughout the book. The irony!
Thirdly, the Darling Broadcast:
FRANK: Why you-!
FRANNY: (With a commanding tone.) Back to us- Julie, when are you going to finally join our band?
See? Take note of that. What seems to be innocent at first glance is actually a pattern of hers. Franny truly cannot last without being the one in charge; it's really ingrained into her. Her ego has to be stroked.
Lastly, the prominent one is yet again, Primrella:
Unsuprisingly, the most abusive sister was Bluebell. The one that lead the family and forced/encourage the others to discriminate and abuse Primrella... I think you get it now.
c. The Second Abuser (The Insecure Fool); Jonesy
Shocking or not, I promise this has multitudes of reasons.
If I had to describe the relationship between Jonesy and Julie, I would say it's both a trauma bond and a 'victim abuses another victim.'
(For those who don't have a full grip of what it is, trauma bond is when a victim forms an emotional bond with the perpetrator of the abuse.)
One of Julie's cards says, "Jump to the nearest green space!"
From my understanding, Julie had once found security in Jonesy. Perhaps Bea was too positive for her, or that he understood Julie's situation since both of them were in the shadows of the other two sisters.
This is until Jonesy ultimately takes advantage of Julie's feelings and participates in the abuse against her to fish out the approval from Franny.
Why do I say this? Well.
He actively backs up Franny's actions, even following the exact same action right after her.
Examples:
1.
FRANNY:(Said accusingly) Because someone here doesn’t!
JONESY: Yeah, someone here doesn’t.
2.
SALLY (FRANNY): Hmpf! Dressing like the rags used for polishing our shoes, I see!
JULIE: [happily] That’s right! Hand-made, too! By some friendly woodland critters!
EDDIE (JONESY): [laughs] Oh, sister, dear, don’t tell me you’ve stooped so low as to talkin’ to the rodents!
JULIE: They’re not rodents! One… is a mouse! And the other is a successful entrepreneur! He even made me this dress!
3.
FRANNY: (With a commanding tone.) Back to us- Julie, when are you going to finally join our band?
JONESY: Yeah, sis- What’s a rainbow monster band without its dynamite drummer?
4.
5.
Serendipitous means beneficial.
"Close your eyes and pluck any flower card!"
Jonsey gets benefits from the prejudice against his younger sister by blindly following the abuser.
Please keep in mind that I am not saying Jonesy does not completely care for Julie; I think deep down, he really does!
But a nice person who supports and continues the cycle of abuse is still, at the end of the day, an abuser. (And needs to be held accountable)
EDDIE (JONESY): An ugly little thing you pulled out of a bucket, more like! I wouldn’t even let you polish the family soot pile with a raggedy thing like that! [Catches himself being too in-character and quickly becomes apologetic] S-So fancy dress or not, this buggy’s too small for the likes of you! [quietly] ...I-If that’s alright...!
I'm unsure if this is Eddie getting too in character with Jonesy's abusive tendencies, or if it actually represents Jonesy.
Eh, most likely the latter.
Similar to Julie, Jonesy suffers from a lack of self-worth/insecurity. This could explain why he constantly relies on his elder(?) sisters for almost everything.
In terms of character design, the long hair that obscures his face can symbolise his loss of identity, not knowing who he actually is and had his feelings severely neglected.
It is now more than a thousand words and the maximum of putting photos on posts is ten, so.
Do not fret, for I will be making a follow up soon. Thank you if you had read this far! I do apologise if there are any mistakes as I struggle with communication at times!
Please tell me if I had missed anything.
Thank you, again, and have a lovely morning/afternoon/evening/night dear reader ^^
the weird thing about being a leftist is the government calling you a radical extremist and your family believing that youre a radical extremist and the whole times your main political beliefs are shit like "we live in a world where we could very easily end world hunger, homelessness, most disease, poverty, ect. and the people in power are choosing not to, and thats evil and should change" and that bigotry is bad
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
CAKEY!!!!! OHHH CAKEY IM HOMEEEE! I promise I did not leave you with our one singular child Wally!!!
Cakey oh Cakey oh my dearest saccharine friend !!!!!!!!!!!!! It has been- what? A year? A year and a few months? How harrowing...I have missed you so!!! How has life been treating you? Whats the word? Whats the haps? Please tell me everything!!!!!!!! I want to hear every detail!!!
Hmmm. Let me recap everything that's gone down with me!
Got a job, became a senior in highschool, ex broke up with me (the day after our three year anniversary. *new years eve, so new years day.* AND while I was at my second ever sleepover .), Had a EMBARRASING manic episode over said ex (WHO WASNT EVEN CUTE!!!), found my new amazing boyfriend, turned eighteen and saw Heathers off broadway!!!, made honor roll, and now I am set to graduate very soon!! I am so sad as its still cold where I am..and it is now MAY!!! How awful is that. I want to wear my tank tops .
AGAIN, I MISSED YOU SO!!!! i was so worried you would never answer my ask and you were merely gone, and then I would just woe for the rest of my days if you were okay!!! I am so glad you are!!! I promise to draw Julie art JUST for you.....
Im sorry, im rambling from one thing to another!!!! Just!! Aaaaahhhhh i am so happy!!! I am so so so happy you are okay dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited we get to speak once more!!!!!
DASHIE! DASHIE!!!!!!!!!!! HOPS ON EVERY WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I (Technically) ALREAADY SAID I MISSED YOU BUT I'LL SAY IT FOREVER! ITS OKAY TO RAMBLE!!!!! RAMBLE 'TIL YOUR HEART'S DELIGHT!
Okay Okay Wait I am so excited am pacing around woops. UGH I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START
Pros:
- So this year so far I got to watch BOTH Project Hail Mary AND Iron Lung. Well the difference is that PHM was at the cinema w/ my dad, while Iron Lung was at my house W/ MY FRIEND! My God did I holler at the shirt scene nudge nudge iykyk. The parallel between the two movies is crazy... it was if they both worked together during the production..
- WENT TO MY FIRST CONCERT?! To be fair, it was free AND really near. It was just at a university nearby and they were playing local bands. My friends and I were totally standing out next to actual students but it was WORTH IT. Plus we got to listen and see A REALLY popular 60s inspired local band (MASDO) and a Riot Grrrl band... God what a combo.
- GOT A CERTIFICATE THIS YEAR!! I had kind of been worrying if I was ever going to get one, and I am so grateful that I did. Walked on stage for the first time, not many clapped but seriously who cares?
- Went to Banjarmasin in Indonesia! Y'know, funny story, me, my mum along with her coworker friends were on a boat together. When the driver(?) slowed down to a specific area of the river; plethora of local boats rushed in and started to usher people into buying their things. Yeah, we were all there for the market on boat thing but it was seriously overwhelming. This is absolutely not supposed to shame or hate on the village people, but it felt like a scene where zombies were trying reach out from the windows in a small bus when I was there. (Again I'll delete this line if its offensive) An auntie that was among the sellers even had to comfort/reassure me that my mum and I don't have to buy everything... sincerely bless her heart.... I just felt bad to those who were ignored... bless their heart too.
- Developing my OCs!!
- Got more items (high heels, clothes) from thrift stores!
- Sleepover with a childhood best friend of mine :)
Cons:
- Body and face dysmorphia genuinely worsening
- Istg the weather also suck here, I had a runny nose for weeks (still went to school) and during exams I KEPT SNIFFLING AND IT WAS SO LOUUDDDD
- Multiple breakdowns
- Haven't been in a contact with a friend for a while, not sure what to say to her
- A boy in my batch from my school recently passed away, I didn't know him but it still felt weird y'know?
- I've been so disappointed with my choice of choosing business stream instead of Arts last year. I couldn't take it as an extra subject and I've been depressed about it ever since (It's okay I know I'll take it when am in college or university!!)
Okay now regarding on YOUR events.
First of all, happy belated BIRTHDAY!!??!?!?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE EIGHTEEN NOW WOOWOOWOW!!!?!?!? CONGRATS ON YOUR HONOR ROLL AND JOB TOO???? I am genuinely so proud of you I'll pray for you every single day to achieve the best life I am so deadass. So curious on what your job is?!
Secondly, I Goddamn love Heathers. AND YOU SAW IT OFF BROADWAY? HOW WAS IT? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE MUSICAL? Wait I NEED to know this for the life of me plz.
Also, for the tank tops thing- maybe you could layer multitudes of them on top of each other....? Like those cool kids from the 2000s like like for example
This. W/ a jacket of course since its cold there
Unless you want to wear just one, then I don't blame you (nod)
Okay, I wanted to make this since its a heavy topic and please mind my language, but what the fuck? On fucking new years eve and a day after your anniversary? Did your ex even knew you were on a sleepover? Either way, that's stupid. Even if they wanted to 'break up so badly', why did they have to do on a day that's supposed to be good? I don't know.. it feels really selfish you know? Yeah you fallen out of love, but at least consider the other person's feelings. I know I can't make a full judgement but seriously I am so sorry for you. And your manic episode is understandable, not embarrassing. I'm sorry if I am making you dwell on it
I'm really so happy that you have your boyfriend now. <:) Okay now you HAVE to tell me how you met him, it's an obligation.
AGH I RAMBLED TOO MUCH SORRY!!!!! And please never worry that I won't ever reply because
1. Tumblr is my number one app Idc
2. We've been talking/exchanging asks since 2023.... I can never forget you nor do I want to?? helloo??! I extremely care abt you
I AM INCREDIBLY JOYOUS THAT YOU'RE OKAY!!!!!!! My Dashing, I too hope for more conversations between us in the near future! It was and is very fun <3
Don't be scared to ramble I love your ramblings you should ramble more
- Love, Cakey
(P.S. LOVE your drawings... you improved so much omg... ITS SO SQUIGGLY AND SO ADORBSSSSS WHAT hehe gushing abt it... the blunt was the cherry on top too btw... pun intended)
Heavy post but I need to get this out of my system. Do you guys ever feel like you're not human?
I don't feel human enough and I think I've always felt like this since I was 15. I am only realizing it now though, and it's been taunting me for more than a month.
I feel so detached from my human body, like an entirely different form inside. Not another person, but a weird clump of blob. Obviously we're all just souls borrowing a temporary shell until we move on to God knows where (or nowhere; if you're an atheist)
It's just that I feel like other people do it so much better. Most of them accepts that they are a human, while I am still bewildered/weirded out by my own fingers and hands and my laughs and my tears or even just the fact that I am even alive. I really don't feel human and I know I already said this but it's so frustating and wrong. I can't believe I feel more attached to the idea of a blob than my actual body.
Maybe this happens when you have body/face dysmorphia for a long time?? Or some weird third possible reason or whatever. I am just constantly surrounded by actual humans themselves and it's a constant reminder on how I am so alien next to them. Wow redundancy. It's okay, I only hope my point gets across.
I really do hope that there are people who can relate to this. (I could've wrote this in a more 'prettier' writing ornated with heavy metaphors but that would take too long. So.)
P.S. I think this feeling is so much worse as a girl and as someone who does actively identify as one; one does start to question themselves with those whom are pretty or smart or both. Not saying that I wanna drag other girls to my level EW no. I just want to, be apart of something. Especially girlhood.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
He deserves a medal for consistently being my most favourite character since I was 14. I love him (click for better quality)
Alternatives:
At first, I didn't really want to post this since it hasn't been digitalized. But, it'll take me too long so might as well just do it now. By the way!!
I actually see Julie as a more of a mid size + plump person, so it'd be a better contrast between him and Frank. Also, he's really strong in canon so it'd make sense for him to be that size. I only made him skinny here because I'm only beginning to get the hang of proper anatomy! (I was looking at his canon human ref too sooo)
I strongly look foward in drawing him in mid size soon though!! ♡
I feel like a lot of fanon tends to miss what seem to be three pretty crucial things about Teru, and it's weird because they are easy to miss, but they're also so important that without them he's very superficial. it's part of why he gets so yassified almost every time he's adapted (see: manga into anime into fancontent)
one is that this kid is smart. on my first watch of his debut arc I assumed he was psychically cheating to be one of Black Vinegar's top students. now though I don't think so: firstly, I'll admit, because he doesn't actually seem to have a way to do that except blackmailing other kids for answers or something; but secondly because throughout the series he's just good at figuring stuff out. he picks up complicated psychic techniques more quickly and frequently than anyone else, including Mob. he was the one who almost beat Shimazaki. he figured out that Psycho Helmet was Dimple from the fact that he was a spirit who knew Teru's name, not a lot of info to go on. he draws conclusions in the somewhat haphazard but very clever way a detective does.
two, he's motivated so much by anger. this one's something of a hot take but it's so there to me that I can't leave it out if I'm Teruposting. before meeting Mob yeah he thought he was special and important for having powers but he was also extremely lonely and subconsciously mad at everyone else for not having them. he's the only one who has to deal with Claw he's the only one who has to live alone because his powers make it dangerous for his parents, he's the only one strong enough to be the shadow leader. he'll do it because he's the Protagonist but god he's gonna be pissed the whole time. it's not what he wants (we only get to see what he wants later with Mob and Reigen and everyone else) but it's all he has for a long time. seventh division shows the intersection between I Should Be Satisfied Now Teru and I'm Better Than These Guys Teru very nicely
last and kind of most important is his thing for Mob. I absolutely believe ONE wrote Teru to be queer and he definitely had or has a crush on Shigeo, but I also think that at least part of said crush is him misconstruing his adoration and the pedestal he's put his friend on. until after the Confession Arc, the two of them getting together would be really tricky and probably not good. Mob still feels bad about what he did at Black Vinegar for most of the rest of season one, and the only reason Teru changed in the first place was because of the cavernous gap in power between the two of them. until he declares Shigeo his rival and realizes that he has faults and any destruction he causes isn't perfectly righteous, Teru can't love him.
there's as much to his character as there is to the other main characters, and I get the easy appeal of the flattened version of him but when he's flanderized into this sparkly gayboy who's also sad sometimes, it makes me sad.
Isn't his wholeee arc all about embracing imperfection? That's why he keeps wearing ugly clothes. Not because he doesn't know basic fashion, but he's trying to experiment with his identity outside of his perfect persona
LIKE HES FULLY AWARE THAT HIS OUTFITS ARE HORRENDOUS TOO. HE DOES IT ON PURPOSE!1!11!1!
Not shaving and not wearing make up are literally nonbehaviors. They’re a complete lack of action. But doing nothing is considered masculine because women are not allowed to just be. this goes double for trans women.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
pixelskylines
areudirty
gracieabrams
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
2087
germansingergirl
