Luley

and not a single person knew. Everytime I would ask my partner why isn’t he there for my kids, because now it didn’t matter for me I wanted to raise both my children in a two parent home whether that meant it wasn’t a happy one. He would answer “i don’t have money” “i don’t have this” or “i don’t have that”. For 4 years, I’ve been the bread winner in my family. I’ve got what I needed by any means necessary. Money wasn’t an issue in our situation. He knows that, I know that, they know that. Fast forward a couple months before losing the baby, around september I asked for a divorce for the first time and I actually meant it - for one mean reason no matter where we are or what we were doing he had to see his guy friends, he would say things like “i haven’t seen so and so in a few days” or “i miss so and so”.. Soo now i’m getting a different vibe of who i thought I married? Are you a homosexual? Do you just like guys? I didn’t know - i questioned it not only to him but my entire family.. Guys I think he’s attractive to his own sex. Let me state there’s nothing wrong with that - but it wasn’t what I signed up for. After that situation I kicked him out. His mother sent him a message telling her son to ask me for a divorce because me and her were not good. Which was extremely shocking to me because a week before that she asked me for money. $1k to be exact. Which was nothing to me because my face card was more valid. By the way through out the 5 years of my marriage - she and her whole family have never made any initiative to see the two kids i have with their son. They never called for check ups, for sick days, pregnant days… nothing. Never did we get invited into their home. I’ve alwayed asked my partner why and he always told me his mom is not in a good space right now. As a woman I had to accept that. A man can break us down until we literally can’t get up. Long story short I was so mad, shocked and confused like wait I didn’t know for 5 years there was a problem especially not after the fact that you just asked me for money. Looking back there are things I should have picked up on - like the small comments she made to her son and her overall jester. I was told before marrying into this family by multiple people to stay away from this family. (If you know. you know). Eventually we got back together - the vibe was still not at its best. So moving on. Moving forward into January 2 2022, I got extremely sick. I didn’t know what was wrong but I never felt like that ever. The first thing that came to mind was evil eye (ee/l). I used to turn quran every single day - I was so traumatized because who else could’ve had so much hate towards me but the mom, now i’m literally on my last straw - I thought I was dying i messaged my kids father mom and just let her know how i felt about what she said and how i view her as a woman with kids, how dare you try to break a home. How dare you make two innocent children lose their parents.. I was so angry - out of emotions i put all my feelings in a text that was processed through google translate and sent it. Mind you, im sick with God knows what / im watching two babies because their dad couldn’t. I’ve been a single parent for years now. I watch my kids, I cloth my kids, I feed my kids / and I don’t want no credit for that because these are my kids. I take my kids out alone - everything they needed I did! December 24, 2021. He was out my house. After feeling sick for a week I quarantine, I watched lectures, I listened to Quran and I swear I had no fear for what was to come. January 12, 2022 while I waa sick I started cleaning my home so my kids could come back to a safe environment. While cleaning I noticed ants in my home. Not ants but ANTS / thousands of them in my room. I had a

mental breakdown I don’t eat food by the window - I don’t drink anything other than water in my room. I called my parents and my kids dad i had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what that was but I knew it wasn’t a good sign. After asking for a divorce for a month now - I wanted it as soon as possible because I wasn’t going to be in a situation to lose my mental health, peace and sanity for a man and a man’s family that I don’t care about. I didn’t want any evil in my home, I don’t know what him or his family is about. January 24,2022 we finally finalized our divorce / it was a bittersweet moment. Now it’s been a month and there’s nothing more than having a healthy coparentinh situation than i want - you can’t pick and choose when you want to be in your kids kids, you can’t choose when you want to speak to them and when you want to disappear on them. It just can’t work like that. Someone asked me what was the cherry on top - I was in a marriage with a man who did percs for 3 years of our marriage around me, my kids and my family and I didn’t know. I didn’t know a thing. I was so naive. Soo clueless. There’s so much more but alhamdillah I made it to almost 5 years with 2 beautiful children.

If I could give anyone getting married advice: i would tell them to make sure they're marrying into a good home. a lot of people disregard the family they're marrying into because they think their partners are so pure. (which can obviously sometimes be the case) overall just check for the family - make sure you marrying someone that also comes from similar backgrounds meaning, if you come from a family of love - marry someone who comes from a family a love.

https://www.instagram.com/ Atlanta, Georgia Follow

Click here to follow BrownnessCrew on Tumblr and see more posts like this one!