It's OK if someone doesn't wanna be with you. A new pain I have a feeling I'm gonna learn soon. Is loving someone like they're "the one" doesn't mean they feel that about you. Love can be constantly evolving and change. Unlike me, who sets a foundation of my love, so it will never breakdown. Things that are bad can happen and make the house be destroyed but as long as my foundation is there I can always build a new house. And idk maybe that's a dumb analogy or whatever, but I truly believe there are multiple types of love. Mine just happens to be extremely hard to keep. Also I wish I was someone my partner could be proud of. (My brain telling me well go be that person or go make that happen) I wish I could just make that happen. I guess my love is warm accepting and safe. Or I at least strive to make it so. Im not perfect I make mistakes. But I love genuinely. I've been thinking about my future alot. If I end up single again....I feel like it's gonna shatter me. I broke last time and I put myself together but the pieces are smaller now. If I break again idk if I could put myself back together again.....some days I wonder if I'm really a terrible person and maybe that's why everyone good for me or somebody I love deeply leaves me. I know I'm super unsuccessful. But I guess from my view is as long as I'm trying to make things work. And I am kind.......idk lost motivation to type more. Needed to get this out. To the void!
