#jenner

No, no, no. That's not allowed.

Happy Friday, SaggyPants!

SaggyPants?

It's your signature look.

Happy Friday, SaggyPants!

Okay, so I’m sitting in the waiting room before a meeting and this woman walks in. Tall, blonde, a little loud. And I’m like, “Why is this woman so obnoxious?” Until I realize it was Phoebe Buffay. Lisa Kudrow. In the flesh. I died. I am dead. 

Did you get a picture with her? That’s like amazing.

I did, I did. I didn't let her get away without one!

Who? Who? Who? Felix?

GassyMexican! Or Max. I was like crying. Get it together, Troian.

Oh my god! That’s so exciting. One time I bumped into Marcus Butler and nearly fainted, it was so embarrassing.

Who? Who? Who? Felix?

I have a huge crush on Chandler. He’s so sexy and funny. Unf. But Matt is sexy in a conventional way, yes.

He’s pretty cute. Matt just plays Joey so well, like, he’s so stupid it’s lovable.

There's something about him that I love so much. Right? They're all the perfect people for the parts. I'm glad Ellen didn't play Phoebe.

The One With All the Jealousy? I love that one! I’m so jealous you’re watching.

Yes, oh my God. I’m been roaring over Ross covering Rachel’s whole desk in lovely dovey stuff. I also forgot how much I loved Matt LeBlanc, like, holy shit, he’s cute.

I have a huge crush on Chandler. He's so sexy and funny. Unf. But Matt is sexy in a conventional way, yes.

I’m watching Once Upon a Time. I’m slowly passing out, though. Ah, which episode are you watching, butthead?

I’m told that show is amazing. Season 3 and episode 12, muahha.

The One With All the Jealousy? I love that one! I'm so jealous you're watching.

Kenya. It goes well, I’m tired as shit, though. How are you?

Ah, that is good, that is good. Go to bed, poophead. It’s past your bed time. I’m lovely though, watching Friends. Crying because you met Lisa. You know, the usual.

I'm watching Once Upon a Time. I'm slowly passing out, though. Ah, which episode are you watching, butthead?

Hola.

Kylizzle. How goes it?

Kenya. It goes well, I'm tired as shit, though. How are you?

Hola.

Other than having to deal with food theft its been pretty chill, how about you?

So, so good. I'm loving life right now, so everything is wonderful.

You’ve met my mom, I’m sure. She’s crazy — absolutely psycho.

Actually no I haven’t gotten the chance to meet her which is weird, but I’ll take your word for it

You're lucky, Niall. So very lucky. Anyway -- how's your day?