ohkay

50 posts!

I know I’m asleep

I’m in control now but who is in my bed

Why is the room dark I thought it was morning

That doesn’t matter I’m in control I’m not getting hurt here

My mind likes to trick me

My dad was in my bed - I love my dad he’s been getting me through this rough time along side my mom

In my dream my dad lays on my bed

Specifically on the bottom of where my body was not touching a spot I got stuck at in my fetal position

He has something in his hands and he’s laughing at me - GASP it’s my dispo

But I’m in control now . I grab it.

SETTING CHANGE

I grabbed it and now I’m not home anymore

Whose bathroom am I in ?

Do I dare to look myself in the eye - last time I did this my eyes where pulled down and my skin was empty inside… that was scary but I’ll risk it because it is only a dream

I looked ITS NOT SCARY AT ALL

I see me

Finally a familiar siting in this world I created in my mind. I’m beautiful. My eyes are red and glossy tho. I must be high.

Wake up girl

I’m back in my room now

Still in my fetal position I reach for the light (my window)

IM FINALLY HERE!

I’m pulling the curtain back. I’m not in my body. My hand goes through. I look at my arms. It’s not scary but it’s beautiful I’m not real my body is see through.

Now as I’m typing this I realize our bodies are temporary and if we don’t fuel them our souls will drift away.

I just woke up

Let me tell you guys about my dream - as an AuDHDer

I feel like I’m still there

Here is some background information ~ I notice I only have dreams like this when there are big changes happening in my life - this but change being im in the process of getting diagnosed with autism and adhd - except I’m alr self aware it is the correct diagnosis but if it’s not I will update you guys. Another change is I’m currently in the process of temporarily quitting weed so I can be put on ADHD medication.

I accidentally posted this oops

Now for the ‘dream’

*my current thoughts on it* - I’m not sure it was a dream now than more my mind being awake and my body still being asleep

These images are the best way to describe it

In my dream state when my body was asleep and my mind was awake I knew that light was good and light would keep my up.

I was reaching for my window in my sleep expecting when I tried to get out of my position to pull aside my curtains to let the sunlight in

Suddenly everything goes dark

My mind wakes back up I never moved but I was RIGHT THERE

This can’t be right

I will try again only now I can’t move my legs to get to the window

They are stuck like my bed is cement and I’m a poor cat walking over wondering why my legs have gone stuck

Why can’t I move?

I now try to crawl my way up my bed to my window

I’ve been stuck here for hours now.

Why am I stil awake

Is this real?

I’ll try to go back to sleep - I tell myself as I’m STILL ASLEEP?

Okay I feel asleep - in my dream

I’m having a different dream

I’m still in my room

I’m still awake but this time I’m not the one in my bed

I can move

This time I’m in control

I know I’m asleep