kuzan's gf (hiatus era)

Maybe she could distract herself, cook something or listen to some kind of music. Something, anything to drown out the sound of that laughter. Streets away and they were still obnoxious and haunting. All she wanted right now was for them to leave, they had their own island to terrorize. Their own people to hurt whenever they chose. 

Even still, knowing who they were and what they did, there was a part of her that was happy. Knowing that one small thing could set them off she was excited that they were here because it meant he was. It was always him. Even when he took the mantle of Captain of the Tenth Blackbeard ship it was him. 

Her fingers tapped against the table while she tried not to think about Kuzan or the Blackbeard Pirates who were here. Tried not to expect him to even show up tonight. It was risky, him bringing them here was already a mess. He was smart, he knew it would put everyone in danger if they found out. Nora knew there was no way he really trusted them. He couldn’t. Not the man she knew. The man she loved. 

A sudden chill in the air took away all thoughts she had about him being as smart as she thought he was. “You shouldn’t be here.” The words sounded wrong in her mouth, she wanted him here, she always wanted him here. But since he joined the Blackbeard Pirates, since the man himself was streets away, she almost didn’t want him. “My house or this island.” 

“They were suspicious.” He was behind her before she even noticed, “They wanted to know what was so interesting here. I told them it was the bar, an old marine hang out.” As cold as the devil fruit made him, she still felt his warmth as he stood at her back. 

If she were stronger she’d have been able to stop herself from leaning back into him, letting him put his hand on her waist. Kuzan made her weak. All the power she wanted to have meant nothing when faced with him. She’d stood against him when he told her he’d joined the Blackbeard Pirates. The rage had been enough to stop her from clinging to him again. Sometimes she managed to hold onto that spark again.

Resting her hand on top of his, she pulled his hand back. “You should have taken them to another island. Anywhere else.” She hissed. “You brought a monster into my home. If someone gets hurt it’s my fault.” Nora pushed away from him, finally staring at the man who taught her what it was like to love and to hate. “How could you do this?” 

Turning around she couldn’t bring herself to look at him, Nora knew it would only end up in tears. It had been so long since she’d seen him, she knew he was due for a visit. Kuzan did his best to visit her around the same time. Since joining Blackbeard these visits lessened but he always made up for it with the attention he gave. And the promise she’d never have to deal with any of them. One he’d just broken. 

Any excitement she’d had about seeing him was gone. Now it was replaced with anger and if she was faced with him? Pain. 

“It keeps them from coming when I’m not here.” He didn’t push her, he kept the distance she put in between them. “You know them. If they thought I was hiding something they’d look for it themselves. I couldn’t let that happen. If they came here on their own that would be the real danger.”

“Then maybe you never should have come!” Tears welled in her eyes when she finally found the courage to look at him. Bitter at the way he stared at her, almost as if he didn’t care. If she looked closer she could see it, the crease in his brow, the way he made himself smaller for her. “If this was going to be how it worked out then maybe you should have just stayed away, left me behind when you left the marines.” 

She didn’t mean that, god she didn’t mean it but wouldn’t it have been easier? He didn’t want people following him, Nora knew he’d told everyone who’d been loyal to him, who had looked up to him, not to follow. Not to ask questions. He’d told that to everyone else, he’d tried to distance himself from her but it hadn’t lasted. 

The laughter took her off guard, a sad thing that she didn’t expect. Something so surprising that her tears came to a stop. “If I could have left you I would have.” He’d told her that before, that she was too ingrained in his soul to leave. “But I can’t. You know I can’t.” She tried to hold her chin up firm when his fingers brushed her cheek. Chilled as they always were. “I don’t care what happens out there. I care what happens here, what happens to you.” 

Nora wasn’t strong enough to hold back the sob that shook her, the way her head leaned into his touch. He meant it, he never told her things he didn’t mean. Not when it came to this, to how he felt about her. “You shou–” 

With a shake of his head Kuzan cut her off, “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, I don’t care what it is.” Nora wished she didn’t hear the ‘including let them all die’ in his words. But in some way, wouldn’t she do the same? At almost any given point she could tell everyone where he was, where the Blackbeard Pirates were and who they were hurting. But she never said anything. She only thought about him. “This world is falling apart, everything is changing and the only thing that’s worth anything is you.” 

Her hands gripped the front of his shirt, “You can’t say that.” 

Large hands were on her cheeks, his face free of his sunglasses, eyes intently on hers. “You know I mean it.” She did. She knew it as well as she knew that she’d never tell him to leave, that she’d never want him to stay away. “You know I love you.” 

Despite everything, despite the Blackbeard Pirates and how terrible they were, how much she hated everything about them. She loved him. She loved everything about him, needed him as much as she needed the air in her lungs. Nothing would change that, not who he was with or what he did. Nora loved him. 

And would never be able to stop. Never wanted to stop. 

Maybe she could distract herself, cook something or listen to some kind of music. Something, anything to drown out the sound of that laughter. Streets away and they were still obnoxious and haunting. All she wanted right now was for them to leave, they had their own island to terrorize. Their own people to hurt whenever they chose. 

Even still, knowing who they were and what they did, there was a part of her that was happy. Knowing that one small thing could set them off she was excited that they were here because it meant he was. It was always him. Even when he took the mantle of Captain of the Tenth Blackbeard ship it was him. 

Her fingers tapped against the table while she tried not to think about Kuzan or the Blackbeard Pirates who were here. Tried not to expect him to even show up tonight. It was risky, him bringing them here was already a mess. He was smart, he knew it would put everyone in danger if they found out. Nora knew there was no way he really trusted them. He couldn’t. Not the man she knew. The man she loved. 

A sudden chill in the air took away all thoughts she had about him being as smart as she thought he was. “You shouldn’t be here.” The words sounded wrong in her mouth, she wanted him here, she always wanted him here. But since he joined the Blackbeard Pirates, since the man himself was streets away, she almost didn’t want him. “My house or this island.” 

“They were suspicious.” He was behind her before she even noticed, “They wanted to know what was so interesting here. I told them it was the bar, an old marine hang out.” As cold as the devil fruit made him, she still felt his warmth as he stood at her back. 

If she were stronger she’d have been able to stop herself from leaning back into him, letting him put his hand on her waist. Kuzan made her weak. All the power she wanted to have meant nothing when faced with him. She’d stood against him when he told her he’d joined the Blackbeard Pirates. The rage had been enough to stop her from clinging to him again. Sometimes she managed to hold onto that spark again.

Resting her hand on top of his, she pulled his hand back. “You should have taken them to another island. Anywhere else.” She hissed. “You brought a monster into my home. If someone gets hurt it’s my fault.” Nora pushed away from him, finally staring at the man who taught her what it was like to love and to hate. “How could you do this?” 

Turning around she couldn’t bring herself to look at him, Nora knew it would only end up in tears. It had been so long since she’d seen him, she knew he was due for a visit. Kuzan did his best to visit her around the same time. Since joining Blackbeard these visits lessened but he always made up for it with the attention he gave. And the promise she’d never have to deal with any of them. One he’d just broken. 

Any excitement she’d had about seeing him was gone. Now it was replaced with anger and if she was faced with him? Pain. 

“It keeps them from coming when I’m not here.” He didn’t push her, he kept the distance she put in between them. “You know them. If they thought I was hiding something they’d look for it themselves. I couldn’t let that happen. If they came here on their own that would be the real danger.”

“Then maybe you never should have come!” Tears welled in her eyes when she finally found the courage to look at him. Bitter at the way he stared at her, almost as if he didn’t care. If she looked closer she could see it, the crease in his brow, the way he made himself smaller for her. “If this was going to be how it worked out then maybe you should have just stayed away, left me behind when you left the marines.” 

She didn’t mean that, god she didn’t mean it but wouldn’t it have been easier? He didn’t want people following him, Nora knew he’d told everyone who’d been loyal to him, who had looked up to him, not to follow. Not to ask questions. He’d told that to everyone else, he’d tried to distance himself from her but it hadn’t lasted. 

The laughter took her off guard, a sad thing that she didn’t expect. Something so surprising that her tears came to a stop. “If I could have left you I would have.” He’d told her that before, that she was too ingrained in his soul to leave. “But I can’t. You know I can’t.” She tried to hold her chin up firm when his fingers brushed her cheek. Chilled as they always were. “I don’t care what happens out there. I care what happens here, what happens to you.” 

Nora wasn’t strong enough to hold back the sob that shook her, the way her head leaned into his touch. He meant it, he never told her things he didn’t mean. Not when it came to this, to how he felt about her. “You shou–” 

With a shake of his head Kuzan cut her off, “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, I don’t care what it is.” Nora wished she didn’t hear the ‘including let them all die’ in his words. But in some way, wouldn’t she do the same? At almost any given point she could tell everyone where he was, where the Blackbeard Pirates were and who they were hurting. But she never said anything. She only thought about him. “This world is falling apart, everything is changing and the only thing that’s worth anything is you.” 

Her hands gripped the front of his shirt, “You can’t say that.” 

Large hands were on her cheeks, his face free of his sunglasses, eyes intently on hers. “You know I mean it.” She did. She knew it as well as she knew that she’d never tell him to leave, that she’d never want him to stay away. “You know I love you.” 

Despite everything, despite the Blackbeard Pirates and how terrible they were, how much she hated everything about them. She loved him. She loved everything about him, needed him as much as she needed the air in her lungs. Nothing would change that, not who he was with or what he did. Nora loved him. 

And would never be able to stop. Never wanted to stop.