Shuji’s Playground

you said apologetically, with a small teasing giggle that you were able to suppress enough for nanami to not notice. Well, he wouldn’t have noticed it anyway because the man was baffled. Almost appalled even. “Sorry love, say that again?” Nanami said, clearly confused. “I said… can you babysit her for now?” Your sweet sweet husband’s mind was a mess. Did he do something wrong? Say something wrong? Acted out of line? “I- babysit? Love, love why would I have to babysit OUR daughter?” It was getting harder to not react to your husband’s response. “Oh did you not want to? I can take her to my mom’s place.” Nanami stood up to gently hug you “no no, that’s not what I meant, I’m just- baby why would I have to babysit a child that’s MINE as much as she’s yours? It’s the least I could do. You carried her for 9 months, went through birthing her and provided her with everything. Caring for her is the least I can do. Bare minimum. My responsibility as much as it’s yours”

It was meant to be a joke but you soften at that because nanami just never fails to sweeten your world and you couldn’t be more grateful.

Suguru Geto

Though it had to happen at a very young age for both you and suguru, adopting mimiko and nanako was something you would never regret. Honestly, you were a tad hesitant to agree when suguru first suggested the idea. In fact, he lowkey gave you an out by adopting the girls by only him at first since you two weren’t married yet. You were still in highschool at the time after all. But a couple years down the line, you eventually got married and legally adopted the girls as well. Having an addition to the family happened later on and now you were a family of five with a precious little baby girl as the newest addition. Having had mimiko and nanako, caring for your new baby girl wasn’t as difficult anymore. However, nowadays, your schedule and as well as your husband’s schedule made it so that it was hard to have days off together. It still is kind of in your favor as you can both take turns caring for your baby.

Being in a relationship with him was… well it was an adjustment. You lived a fairly simple life before you met him. It wasn’t a bad life. You still got to spend on your wants here and there but you had to budget such things much like any other common person had to. On the other hand, the word budget was non-existent to satoru especially when it came to you. He quite literally gave you everything. A few weeks into the relationship though, he had noticed how reluctant you were to accept his presents. You didn’t seem uncomfortable, just.. reluctant. He toned down a bit after this realization. But god he just couldn’t figure out why you were almost unwilling to accept anything at all from him, even food, even a ride home, even his hoodie which he already said you could keep. “Baby” he called to which you responded by looking his way. “Why do you never want to accept my presents?” He asked before he got up to approach you, immediately hugging you from the back as soon as you were within reach. “Hmm it’s not that I don’t want to.. it’s just.. you have to let me get used to these things first, okay?” satoru raised his brow “baby I know that shitty ex of yours can’t come close to how much I spoil you but was he that stingy?” at first satoru was only joking but your silence meant it was probably true. “So he was?” He asked as his chin was resting on your shoulder. “Come on satoru, he’s a thing of the past. He doesn’t matter anymore, ‘kay?” You tried your best to steer away from having to tell your boyfriend in detail but he’s right. Your ex was stingy as hell. It’s not like you ever asked for anything too much in fact, you don’t ever remember asking for anything at all. All the times he had to pick you up, he asked for gas money which seemed fair enough but it wasn’t just that. The man loved going on and extravagant dates but was never willing to fish out more than gas money. He adored receiving presents from you but could never be bothered to get you even the cheapest flowers. He used to say that he was just saving up to be able to give you the life you deserve but 8 years of having to sustain the luxurious lifestyle of a bum just made you snap hence, the break up. Satoru’s tightening embrace woke you from that little flashback. “Okay baby, I’ll make sure to spoil you but don’t hesitate to tell me if I go overboard hm? Love you” he gave you a kiss on the cheek and god, you felt so lucky to have found such a good man.

Nanami Kento

It quite literally took years of yearning for nanami to be finally able to date you. He was your junior in university and your junior at work as well. All that time, he had to witness you be head over heels for your then boyfriend, another one of his seniors. He thought the man might have put a spell on you because for the love of god, he could not see what kept you with the jerk for so long. Having observed your relationship from when he was a college freshman up to when he was a work colleague, your ex never even tried to mask how selfish he was with you. The man dawned expensive watches and drove a not so cheap car, he loved going to expensive places with his friends but with you? He wouldn’t hesitate to pass you the bill (like 85% of the time) whenever you went on dates, bought you nothing but cheap jewelry and quality reject flowers just because they were cheaper. Even worse, he also let you take the crowded train home everyday despite him driving to and from work everyday. He just couldn’t be bothered to pick you up because your workplace was “too far” and gas was expensive. If he really was struggling, it wouldn’t have been a problem but any person could see that he was more than capable of treating you better. He just didn’t want to.

The following day, you tried your best to make yourself look freshened up and awake. You arrived at the meeting place quite early. You double checked all the files and documents which you might need. Thankfully, not long after you finished fixing your papers, the client arrived. She approached gently before speaking “Hi! I’m keiko. You’re yn, right? I saw your picture on the pamphlet” she smiled shyly. You noticed just how soft spoken and beautiful this lady was. She definitely has that “soon to be married” glow. “Hello, yes! It’s me. I’m glad to finally meet you, keiko!” You stood up to shake her hand. You both settled down after the introductions. “Will it be just you for today?” You asked her before you started discussing anything. “Oh my fiancé will be here soon. He just suddenly had to run an errand for his mom. He’s..” she grabbed her phone to check on something, probably a message. “Oh he’s just parking his car now” you gave a nod of acknowledgment at that. With your seat facing the entrance, you could clearly see the people who walked in and out of the cafe. Which meant that when sakusa kiyoomi walked in, your eyes immediately gravitated towards him. He started looking around, eyes landing on you. Or at least you thought they did, before keiko looked back from her seat, immediately getting up to hug sakusa once she was made aware of his presence. She guided the man back to your table. You tried your best to mask whatever feeling was forcing its way out of you. “Yn, this is my fiancé. You can just call him k-“ . “sakusa, you can call me sakusa” he cut her off. Keiko was a bit taken aback by her fiancé’s interruption but she was quick to ward off the confusion. While the discussion went on, you couldn’t help but feel anxious and even more tired. You weren’t sure if it was because of last night’s event execution or if it was because in front of you was your ex-fiancé, asking you to organize his wedding. The fiancé who was too busy for wedding planning. The fiancé who thought he couldn’t give you what you deserved. The fiancé who left.

The world felt like it was nothing but air. You couldn’t feel much at all and you were probably only functioning out of pure muscle memory acquired from all the times you’ve done this pre-planning orientation for engaged couples. Your consciousness was jolted awake when keiko stood up. “Yn I’m really sorry but I’m being called in for work. One of my patients had an emergency. Please just settle the rest with kiyoomi, I’ll see you again soon!” She hurriedly left. Her absence immediately making way for the awkward silence filled with all of the unspoken thoughts you and sakusa tried to keep in for the last hour or so.

“I’m sorry”. The words felt unreal. They felt empty, and fake though you were sure kiyoomi would never say something he didn’t mean. “What are you sorry for, sakusa?” He visibly flinched at the name he suggested you called him by, not even an hour ago. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be.. all this for you” the moment made your ring finger feel heavy despite the absence of the ring that used to wrap itself around it.

His words brought you back to the day he left after he’d had enough of your complaints about having to plan the wedding all by yourself. He was starting off as a doctor back then, a new resident who wanted to do all that he could to establish his career. You were both fairly young back then, which was probably why you both thought getting married at that point of your lives was surreal. For some, maybe it was so. But for you two? Apparently not. Because not long after he proposed, he soon found that the demands of being a surgical resident wasn’t something to take lightly. While you were also working, you never failed to make time for wedding planning. Of course, you knew that his schedule was much more taxing than yours but it still pained you to make invitations on your own, taste test cakes by yourself. “I want whatever you want” was what he’d said as compensation for his absence. But when you were trying on dresses and you looked at yourself in the mirror gown and all, the weight of keeping everything in came crashing down because “he should be here” was all you could think. Sakusa wasn’t superstitious so he certainly wouldn’t give a fuck about seeing you in your wedding dress before the wedding day. Heck, he even said he’d love to pick one out with you. But he wasn’t with you. So when he came home from work, tired and not thinking straight, he was met with your equally tired looking figure, sitting on the couch, crying. He didn’t even get a word out before you spoke your mind and while he did understand, he didn’t have the energy to argue further. Because in his head, you should’ve understood why he couldn’t be there. And even when you both reconciled that night, nothing had changed. The same cycle continued until neither of you found enough reason to keep the promise of getting married. Though you wished he would’ve at least said goodbye instead of leaving a shitty sorry note on top of your counter, along with the apartment keys.

“It’s fine. Let’s just forget about it” you tried your best to sound sincere but you couldn’t exactly lie your way out of a confrontation with someone with whom you literally intended to spend the rest of your life with at some point in time. “Do you.. do you want me to find another planner? I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was gonna be you, yn. I promise I never intended to-“ he stops as you held your hand up to signal your request for silence. “Sakusa, it’s fine. Like I said, let’s just forget about it. I promise not to let what happened get in the way of your wedding planning.” The day went by very slowly, both you and kiyoomi moving and speaking like virtual characters merely accomplishing tasks assigned to them. “Well, that’s about it. Please let your fiancé know about the details she missed and… congratulations for the engagement” you chimed before briskly walking out of the cafe where sakusa was left dumbfounded and extremely confused as to how he was going to address this wild turn of events.

Throughout the planning, you’ve come to learn that keiko was an amazing person. She was passionate about her work advocacies, she was kind and soft spoken, extremely understanding, and though you didn’t mean to have such thoughts, whenever she spoke of kiyoomi, you never seem to miss the times she’d tell stories about how busy the man was and that she understood him anyway. Because she loved him. Because she was the same way sometimes. Something you weren’t able to do for him during such a challenging time in his life. It caused conflict in your heart to learn all of those things. Because it warmed your heart to see such a happy bride to be. She radiated happiness and everything in between whenever she was with kiyoomi and kiyoomi looked at ease whenever he was with her and that’s something because kiyoomi rarely looked at ease. They were happy but as much as you wanted to take that happiness as a sign to let your hurt go, it just didn’t work that way. To be quite frank, until now, you still harbored a little (or more) hurt from the fact that someone you had initially agreed to marry, was capable of leaving you without even saying it to your face. Before you came home to an empty apartment with his goodbye note, you were even going to propose the idea that maybe you guys should just postpone the wedding and maybe wait for things to settle in before you resume planning. Instead, you were met with your ex-fiancé’s absence. His clothes missing from the closet, medical books out of the shelves, even his favorite mug was nowhere to be found. It was as if only the note he left behind could serve as proof that you were once in a relationship with him. You tried contacting his family and closest friends but most of them ignored your calls and those of them who answered obviously tried their best to dodge answering your questions. You were at your lowest then. You took a long leave from work, barely ate, barely showered, was often sick, and would constantly wonder how things could have been had you just kept your mouth shut instead of nagging a tired kiyoomi.

It wasn’t helping that you were thinking about all of this a few minutes before the couple’s consultation with you. The wedding was moving closer and closer and you’ve been spending more and more time with them and it still honestly feels like the world is caving in every single time. It’s an unexplainable feeling. You wanted nothing more than to see them get married, sincerely congratulate the couple, let go of all that’s been bugging you in the past, and finally move on with your life, something you haven’t been able to do since you and kiyoomi broke things off. Your thoughts were cut short when someone entered your office. It was keiko and she was alone. “Yn? Hi, I just wanted to talk to you real quick” “quick? but we have so much to do” she smiles gently before taking a seat across your desk. “I don’t know how else to put it but… I know about you and kiyoomi. I didn’t know when I first met you but he told me everything and I just want to tell you that it’s okay if you want to talk to him about it. You both need it, yn. I know it’s none of my business but I hope you think about it. Don’t worry, I understand.” Ah. You see it. This is the woman he fell in love with. This was the woman worth the change and this was the woman able to match him perfectly. There’s no fighting that. “Keiko I don’t know, you don’t have to” she softly reached for your hand to hold it in both of hers. “You deserve an explanation, yn. Kiyoomi might have changed since then but I’m not about to marry someone who’s able to leave someone just like that. If you feel like you don’t need to speak with him, I respect that. But if you want to talk to him, let him know, it’s okay, don’t worry about me.”

You took up the offer. Maybe if keiko didn’t come up to you to say that it was okay to look for closure, you would have spent the rest of your life swallowing your need for an explanation from your ex.

“Thank you for agreeing to talk, yn.” You only gave him a light nod as you looked far into the expanse of trees ahead. View from where you were seated at a nice private little cafe. “Kiyoomi I just want to know. Why did you leave like that?” With fidgety hands, you tried to calm down. “I just felt like I didn’t deserve you anymore. I hurt you after I asked you to marry me. I didn’t deserve that ‘yes’ anymore” after a nod, you responded “So you just? Wrote a note then dipped? Kiyoomi I still wanted to marry you then. I was going to postpone it but I still wanted to marry you.” He knew that. “It’s exactly why I left. Because you still wanted to marry me even after what I did. I didn’t deserve you anymore.” “Kiyoomi, for the longest time, I wanted to tell you that I was willing to wait for you and that I was sorry for nagging you that day. Then I was obsessed with trying to find out which one of us was at fault. I wanted someone to be at fault because how does it happen that two people love each other so much but still end up separating just like that? But it’s been a while now and I think… I think maybe we should forgive each other now. I honestly felt bitter lots of times even til only recently but seeing you with keiko.. she’s a great girl and she deserves all the happiness. We should close this part of our lives now, shouldn’t we?” Kiyoomi stood up and you thought he was about to walk out but he pulled your arm to get you to stand up before he gave you a tight, warm, and sincere hug. One unlike any other he had given before. It wasn’t an I missed you hug but not a goodbye one either. It was one of acceptance and peace. Though it didn’t feel familiar, none of his embraces have felt as warm as this one. After pulling away from the hug, you grabbed your purse, as you got ready to leave. “Omi, I sincerely wish you and keiko the best” this time, you said it with utmost sincerity.

Wedding day

“No” was all he mamaged to say. “No? Reo you- you can’t just say no” you were sobbing, thinking of how you’d have to stop your studies and how you were going to have tell your parents. “I just… yn I can’t handle a baby right now. And my parents. Fuck, my parents are-“ his hands in his hair, tugging lightly in frustration. You wanted to get mad at him and scream and push him but all you could manage to do was look at him in shock. How is he the same person who cuddled you every night and bought your flowers just because. The same person who had you in his future plans and promised to marry you as soon as you both had stable careers. Amidst reo’s sweet reputation in your heart and mind, you often forgot that he was also as career driven as he was in love. Reo had already disappointed his parents once when he chose to play sports instead of working at their family’s company. Now he’s made it to a place where they can at least commend him for his choice. He can’t risk another disappointment. His parents didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.

Finding out you were pregnant, your initial response was fear which later changed to calmness because you were so sure of reo. You were so sure that he wouldn’t leave you hanging. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so hopeful after all.

Itoshi Rin

Your relationship with rin isn’t what people think it is. Sure you were married. Sure lots of his fans adored you as well. But behind the scenes, the marriage was arranged by his parents. That said, rin was never hostile. The relationship was civil, it was peaceful even. He did his thing and you did yours.

Later on in the marriage, you both decided that since you guys were married anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to add a couple more benefits along with having each other’s (quiet and to some extent, comfortable) company. Sleeping together became a regular occurrence and without meaning to, that led to you getting pregnant, something which rin had never planned on and something he definitely won’t be happy about. You weren’t happy about it either. Not when you didn’t exactly have a healthy family to give the baby to be. Acting fast, you scrambled to your laptop to schedule yourself for an appointment to get a check up and most probably to get rid of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, in panic, you left your pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. Something that rin was welcomed with once he got home. It didn’t help that you left your laptop in the bedroom for him to see your scheduled appointments as well.

Thinking you could get by without letting rin know, you decided to act normal upon seeing him enter the kitchen. You were preparing dinner when he walked in. After smiling at him and greeting him to acknowledge his presence, you went back to dinner prep. This confused rin. Were you not going to tell him? Was the test maybe not yours? Were you fucking with him? “Really yn? Don’t you have anything to say?” “hm? what do you mean, rin? Did you want something else for dinner?” He annoyingly nodded “you’re pregnant?” This made you freeze, dropping the knife on the floor, barely missing your foot. For a second, a flash of concern hit rin’s eyes but that might as well have been your imagination. “It’s a yes then” you gave a barely there nod. “Rin I was going to tell you. I also just found out I’m sorry” he nodded again “You were going to tell me? Sure. Not like you already had an appointment with the clinic, no?” Your face lost all its color. You weren’t even sure why he was acting so annoyed. Every time your parents or his parents nudged you two to give them grandchildren, rin would always act annoyed and irritable the moment you get home. He also repeatedly expressed his refusal to have children, especially not when his career was booming. Having a wife was one thing but a child? Entirely different. He didn’t have to invest so much when it came to you. He just has to be respectful, be someone to satisfy your needs sometimes, maybe even go on a few dates here and there. Easy. But he wasn’t a monster so having a child would take up so much of his time, something he couldn’t afford to give. Was what he always said. So why was he so mad at your for just taking one step ahead? “I thought you didn’t want to have a baby, why are you mad?” You semi-shouted. “Maybe I didn’t but you can’t just decide to get rid of it on your own. That’s messed up” “okay but stop raising your voice rin, you’re scaring me. You always tell me you don’t want a baby with me so I just assumed” “Know what? Considering you seem to want to get rid of it so quick, then yeah sure, I don’t want that baby. You have my card, use it for the hospital bill or call me if you need me to be there. You probably won’t though, right?”

Unfortunately, time won’t always be friendly to continuously missed chances. After years of not having anything happen, rin came to the conclusion that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Besides, you’ve had a few boyfriends and situationships here and there and rin, being surrounded by his team mates and their stories about how good it feels to have someone supporting them from the stands, he got impatient so he decided to give someone a try. Mai. One of the team’s PR managers. She always was nice to rin, pretty, soft spoken, understanding, basically what most men would want. Fortunately for rin, she also seemed to harbor some sort of attraction towards him. Nothing serious at the moment but definitely something to start with. A few dates here and there. Hang outs at home and all. Mai was aware that rin couldn’t commit yet and neither was she. The arrangement they had worked for both. But boy, was timing a bitch to rin. Roughly 3 months into dating mai, rin was rendered frozen in place when he received a message from you.

You: Rin! I’ve been assigned to work near your home stadium. Did I get that right? idk if that’s what you call it but yeah. I just moved in yesterday. Want to meet up? :)

As rin was mindlessly staring and repeatedly reading your message, reo passed by and “accidentally” saw the message. “dude, who’s that? isn’t mai going to get jealous?” Rin snapped back into reality after realizing his friends had seen what was going on. Isagi looked as well and as he read the contact name, a bulb went up his head “oh wait isn’t that the girl you used to like before you started dating mai?” A few banters here and there about the team invading rin’s privacy, shidou chimed in out of nowhere “Know what? Why don’t you make a pros and cons list for the girls? I know damn well you still like that one but you also seem smitten as fuck for mai so.. pros and cons man” and most of the time, only bullshit comes out of shidou’s mouth but god, rin was at such a crossroads, he gave in. With the help of his teammates, a list was made.

Later that day, rin agreed to meet with you. It’s not that he had already decided or that he was confident you still had feelings for him but he thought it wouldn’t hurt. Besides, he had already asked mai about it and she was more than okay with it. She even half joked half meant said that if things work out between you and rin, she should at least be invited to the wedding. When rin arrived at the meet up place and he saw you sitting and looking around, there was no doubt in his heart. It was still you and he was a big fool for ever thinking that dating someone else would ever work. Not to deny that mai was a great girl and that they matched pretty well.. it’s just that you were it for him. At that moment, he thanked the heavens that his arrangement with mai wasn’t serious yet. He felt bad having to end or because the relationship had its fair share of ups but, god, seeing you again just locked him in and it would feel wrong dating anyone else when he was this crazy for you. Rin walked up to you and gently tapped your shoulder. You immediately looked back to see him and as if on instinct, you jumped up to hug him. “Rin! How have you been?!” You exclaimed while still hugging him. “Hello to you too, yn” he calmly replied back while hugging back, cradling your head gently in his hand.

Suna took a deep breath before pushing the doors to the cafe open. His eyes wandered around the place and it didn't take long for him to find mayu. She was dressed up, a glass of iced coffee sitting in front of her on the table. The glass was half empty and condensation quickly dripped onto the cork coaster below the it. She must have been sitting there for quite a while. He made his way to where she was. "Rin" She smiled and spoke in such a soft, adoring tone that suna almost lost the guts to turn her down. Maybe ghosting her would've been easier but he knew that he at least owed it to what they had to give them both proper closure. "Hey" he smiled back before taking the seat across mayu. "Rin, I- I just want to thank you for giving me another chance. I know that-" Before mayu could utter another word, suna had stopped her. "Mayu, I don't.. I.. I didn't come here to fix us." Mayu's sweet expression immediately changed to a frustrated one. "What? Rin we were separated for two fucking years and now you're telling me you don't want this anymore? I missed you so much and I tried to get better quickly because god knows I wouldn't have been able to face you in the state I was in a few months ago. I wanted to get better for you." At the hint of a mention of the accident, suna felt his heart clench because deep down, he still believed it was his fault and the weight of his guilt was still heavy. But he couldn't drag this along any longer than he already has. "Mayu look, I- I'm sorry for what happened. But this just.. it's not working anymore. This isn't what it was before." Suna remembered the astronomical pain he felt when he found out mayu had sold the box or when he saw mayu post photos with another man hugging her. Suna also remembered the exact feeling of when it all dissipated into thin air. The pain felt like it was dropped on him all at once and gone the next minute. Like something just looking for a reason to be let go of. "So you met a girl and after a few months, you just decided that she means more than me? Even osamu and the rest have been taking her side. That was MY place, rin." "It's not anyone's place. Please just.. I want us both to be happy and okay. But it obviously can't happen with us together. Look at me." Suna stood up to come closer to mayu. "I care about you still and I value what we had. I'm grateful for you, even. But mayu... I'm in love with someone else now and she's just.. she makes me happy. I hope you can understand that I never wanted to hurt you. I want you happy and I want you to be fine. Take care, mayuko." Mayu was left speechless. Because never in her life had suna given her a smile as warm and as genuine as what he just showed her.

To be continued..

a/n: This has been going on for literally years now! Sorry about that. But I really wanted to finish this because this is a fic that I love so much :( anyway, I’m going to fix the taglist some other time this week.