𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐘...𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'

*/ WHERE TO FIND JJ OFF OF TUMBLR.

sometimes i can't be here for one reason or another, so if you would like to stay in touch with aya and i, consider adding me on discord and aya on wire if we are mutuals. also, i am still on my feedverse shit and even made a little group over there on the off chance that anyone here decides they want to give it a shot. (if you don't know, feedverse is an app made by a friend of mine that acts as a sns for your muses) the groups are contained, so it's only people with the invite code who can get in. if you have interest in trying it out poke me for the invite code as i would love to see their project take off. anywho, those are the places i can be found for rp.

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@kumihod

The expression that they wore on their face told of likely racing thoughts and lingering questions about what Bu-Young had just said. When they voiced some of those thoughts, he felt the need to further clarify exactly what he had meant by the statement. Mostly because he always wanted to tell A-Yeong the fullest truth that he could when they inquired about something.

He gave their hand another squeeze to ensure that he had their entire span of attention when he spoke.

"It was my home, yes," he agreed, "for as long as I could remember, it had been my home. It wasn't necessarily that leaving the Order was something that I had wanted to do, not...consciously, at least." He took a measured breath. "I wanted to feel accepted. I...I wanted to feel as though I belonged somewhere, and I wanted to know what it felt like to know that I was loved unconditionally. Or, at the very least...to feel less isolated."

His gaze fell to the sidewalk as his memories flashed in his mind's eye. "I learned much from them, and I loved them all as brothers. It just always felt as though I was being kept at a distance, somehow. And at times, put under more discipline than others. As though I was perhaps...lacking. Or perhaps I was too much." He turned to them once more and managed a smile.

"They warned me not to go, on the night I left. I had always tried to listen to their every word up to that point but in that moment, being told no, when I was only seeking more genuine understanding and companionship...I didn't back down." He huffed slightly through his nose as he remembered himself in his youth. "I was quite fiery about the subject as well, as I recall. All that I knew, was that I had felt more comradery with you, even in your fox form, than I had ever been able to feel with the other monks. You made it so I didn't feel alone anymore."

⋮⋆˙⟡  𝐈𝐓  𝐖𝐀𝐒  𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒  𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐓  𝐅𝐎𝐑  𝐀-𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆  𝐓𝐎  𝐒𝐄𝐄  𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄  𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘  𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃  𝐓𝐎  𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏  𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒.  It  always  felt  easier  to  see      their  faults      especially  with  everything  the  world  who  actually    𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐃    they  existed…tended  to  believe  they  were  more  likely  to  cause  harm  than  anything  good.  They  always  tried  to  do      their  best      to  show  everyone  they  were  wrong  about  their  kind,  but  that  seemed  to  mostly      only  last      until  they  felt  that  hunger  again.

Which  never  really  took  long...They  felt  it  constantly.

A  symptom  of  the  condition  of      being  them      really.  Every  day  that  passed  by  that  they      weren’t  human      they  felt  that  same  hunger.  The  hunger  that      clawed  at  them      from  the  inside.  𝑫𝑬𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮    release.  Sometimes,  it  felt  like  they  were  fighting  a      losing  battle.      But  Bu-Young  always  seemed  to  know  just      the  right  words      to  show  them  how  wrong  they  were.  It  would  likely  not  stop  those  thoughts  that  haunted  them  any  time  soon...but  one  could  hope.

His  story      did  help,      even  if  there  had  been  an  air  of  melancholy  there  about  the  loss  of  his  home.  Only  for  Bu-Young’s  words  about  them  giving  him  a  place  to  belong  nearly  wiped  the  floor  with  them  Stunned,  they  stopped  in  their  steps      for  a  short  moment.      Eyes  stayed    𝑭𝑰𝑿𝑬𝑫    on  the  enlightened  monk.  A  mix  of  confusion,  curiousness,  but  mostly  a      warm  feeling      in  their  heart  that  managed  to  settle  there  when  they  looked  at  him,  and  couldn’t  help  but  feel  as  though  they  had      found  home.

There  really  wasn’t    𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮    like  it.

❝I  just  thought...After  everything  you  had  been  through  with  them...It  would  have  been  a  harder  choice  to  make.❞  The  fox  spirit  mused  over  their  thoughts.  Completely  disregarding  their  own  past  that  they  had  shared  together.  Still  wondering  how  their  love  could  have    𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄  𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄    to  being  like  that  of  the  bond  he  had  shared  through  so  much  dedication.  Was  was      so  special      about  them?

But  not  long  after,  a      warm  smile      of  their  own  managed  to  appear.  Warm  and  full  of      the  same  love      that  his  had  shown  them  every  time  they  saw  it.  Like  the  two  smiles  had  been  formed  in  the  heavens  for  one  another.  A  nice  thought...Even  if  at  it’s  care  it      was  childish      to  think  they  would  want  someone  like  them  being    𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬    for  someone  as  perfect  as  him.  Taking  the  couple  steps  they  had  faltered  in,  there  was  a      little  skip      in  their  step  that  hadn’t  been  there  before.  The  pep  in  their  step  more  than  back  with      the  loving  reminder      from  the  man  they  loved  that  they  were      more  than  deserving      of  it.

❝I  guess  it’s  a  good  thing  that  you’re  stuck  with  me.❞  The      beamed  happily      adding  another  skip  in  their  step  as  the  continued  on  to  where  there  were  going  for  food.  Their  attention  darting      here  and  there      as  they  were  want  to  do.  There  was  always    𝐒𝐎  𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇    to  take  in  around  the  city.  It  always  filled  them  with  a  sense      of  wonder      whenever  they  got  a  chance  to  get  out.  ❝I  don’t  think  at  this  point  I  want  to  think  about  life  without  you.❞  No,  they  could  say  with    𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬    certainty  that  they  didn’t  want  to  think  about  that  time  again.  Life  without  Bu-Young  had  been  devoid  of  just  about    all  joy.

📱  ⦃  𝐒𝐌𝐒  —  𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍  —  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓  ⦄         You're  talking  to  the  same  person  who  questioned  someone  who  LITERALLY  knows  everything. 📱  ⦃  𝐒𝐌𝐒  —  𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍  —  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓  ⦄         But  I'll  be  sure  to  remember  going  forward. 📱  ⦃  𝐒𝐌𝐒  —  𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍  —  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓  ⦄         The  photo…in  the  dictionary.. 📱  ⦃  𝐒𝐌𝐒  —  𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍  —  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓  ⦄         Is  it  the  cute  one  where  your  cheeks  get  all  puffy