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warnings: none really it's just comfort

this is my very first fic, don't expect much of it

„I learned great things. You know my leaves in divination said I will have a child in the future. It’s kind of exciting” Pandora was rambling again. Usually I wouldn’t mind and would even engage in the conversation, but I couldn’t look away from Barty Crouch Junior.

He was quiet and I had a bad feeling that I know the cause of his silence. I saw Evan look up from beside him and shove him slightly, nodding into my direction. He looked up and our gazes met over the table. It felt as if the whole world got muted as the rambling and clinking of dishes became more distance. Even though he was looking right into my eyes he seemed galaxies away. Colder and more distant than ever, and so fucking quiet. Breaking out of my slight daze I raised my brow in question slightly nodding to the exit of the great hall, motioning my fingers into a smoking motion. I saw his eyes squinting slightly, his eyebrows furrowing as if it was hard to realize such motion. Evan leaned down and whispered something into his ear. Bartys eyes never left mine as he barely nodded before getting up. He was like a machine. His movements rigid and without the energy I have known so long. I turned to Pandora for a second though I wasn’t really sure if I told her I will be right back or that I will be leaving, all I knew was that Barty was not feeling alright and I will be there. Just like it has always been. I got up and followed  him right out of the Great Hall and down into the dungeons where I know he would be waiting for me. Right inside his dorm. Muttering Slytherins password I stepped inside the empty Common Room and walked further into the boys dormitory until I stood in front of his dorm. The one he shares with Evan and Regulus. The one that will be empty, because Regulus and Evan are amazing friends with even more amazing understanding.

I opened the door to find Barty sitting on the floor his back against his bed. I sat down beside him looking at him. “Can I touch you?” I asked quietly, almost as if I was talking to a small child that was afraid. And in that moment I wasn’t even sure if that wasn’t the case. He didn’t move, his gaze locked straight. “Barty.” I was slightly louder this time, enough for him to turn his head. “Can I touch you? Is that alright?” He stared at my lips as I talked, as if reading them. As if he couldn’t even hear what I was saying, before his head moved. It was barely there, the nod, but I was hyperfocused on him. I don’t even think I would hear the door being opened. Slowly and softly I raised my hands, my right one to hold his left one and my left one to cup his right side. “I love you. You hear me? I love you. So much.” I whispered to him stroking his cheek bone before leaning my forehead against his. “I-“ He cleared his throat slightly. “I thought you wanted to smoke” His voice was quiet, but I was relieved he was speaking at all. “We can smoke if you want to?” I asked him quietly “Later maybe” He mumbled out in return and I understood. Later. I don’t want to move and I didn’t move. Instead I slowly reached for his second hand as well and gently guided them around my waist, always giving him an option to move away.