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oozey mess
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Love Begins
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER
Show & Tell
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@kruntflaps
dont condemn poc for not being able to speak/read/write in their mother tongues and/or not knowing everything about their ethnicity
like that’s so messed up we live in a society that expects us to fully assimilate into “white culture” and when we do express ourselves through our cultures we’re met with hostility and comments like “go back to your country”Â
and if we do fully assimilate we’re made fun of for not retaining the culture white people stole from us sooo
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There's just soemthing about girls who just about come up to your chin with scouse accents.
I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen—I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theatres from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time (although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a baby’s right to live, that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, life is a cruel joke and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
Neil Gaiman (American Gods)
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I could not stop laughing
I used to be so sure about what I wanted, now I don't have a fucking clue.Â
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Riley: Well I don’t see what’s the big deal with hoes anyway. Huey: All women are not hoes, were talkin 20-25% tops . Riley: Ok but if they not all hoes then why do I got to pay to take them out to eat then. I mean I’m paying, that’s payment. Huey: I dont know, cuz that’s just what you do. You meet a girl, you take her out to dinner, but you’re not paying the girl, you’re paying the restaurant. Riley: But I’m paying which makes her a hoe! Why don't I just give her the money I was goin’ spend on dinner and that hoe can go grocery shopping.
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Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Hipster: You have two aurochs. You kill one and fashion it into an original leather outfit. You take pictures of the other for instagram and use its milk for Starbucks coffee.
Cuilism: I give you a hamburger.
