Sh*t my 8 year old says

"Sorry mom. I can't go with you, I'll be busy later. On the pooper."

"My favorite slogan is 'Live life until death.' You know. Like old man McGuggin used to say." 😐 we don't know who that is.

"Ugh. My eyes are sweating like dogs!"

(After debating with Hope what was stylish when I was growing up) Me: "What was wrong with the 80s?" Her: "KNEE SOCKS! Really mom. KNEE-SOCKS!!"

(Horrified look after coming out of her sisters room) "Am I going to be BORING when I grow up?!"

“I can not believe your middle name is Ann! I’m calling you Ann-zilla from now on.“

(Randomly hands me the car keys) "Just park it anywhere sweetie."

While applying sunscreen "On my thighs? I thought only MEN had thighs!"

"When I look directly in the sun it's like staring into the blue screen of the tv when it's on the wrong HDMI and says no signal. They both make me feel like I'm going to die."

"I can't just yet go to bed. I need to keep looking at my beautiful self. This fabulous mirror. I. AM. A. STAR."

"I can imagine using chemicals on my face to look 18. I wish I was 18. I can also imagine to be the Queen of England...the oldest person in the world."

Her- "Unless you pay me a dollar, I'm going to keep bugging you aaaalll day." Me- "Where did you learn how to blackmail??" Her- "GARFIELD!!!"