crying over yi city

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break

keep your head up, fellow wizard! it’s incantation, not incanttation!

wait

hold on

wait

one direction was gonna eat that girl. they bought her for food

i think the most beautiful thing about being a human is the capacity to change

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

Books are so cool because there are no fucking ads in them

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels