You exhale a breathy laugh through your nose, looking down to hide the warmth emitting in your cheeks caused by his natural charm. Despite the sleeve of tattoos, the lip piercing and the big heavy boots he so often sported, he had such kind eyes— how could you think he’d have anything but good intentions? His eyes sparkled when he looked at you now, and his smile had the butterflies in your stomach doing somersaults. You really liked Jungkook, even if he did look kind of dangerous to the naked eye. He’s done nothing to prove that to be true, though.

“Do you?” you breathe out shakily, and he trails his palm down your arm, always so patient in the way he moved. He reaches your hand, engulfs it in his bigger one as he hums in confirmation.

“You’re so...” His voice is low and sultry, “Good.” He huffs, struggling to maintain a steady breath. He leans in to press his lips against the side of your neck, trailing his kisses up beneath your jaw, sucking the skin gently between his teeth. You don’t mean for such a dirty sound to leave your lips, but it doesn’t, and Jungkook groans in response. He presses a hand to the small of your back to pull you closer to him, so he can feel your chest against his.

“I am?” You shudder under his touch, your eyes fluttering shut when he sneaks his hand beneath your top, thumb circling gently into the skin of your back. He’s warm, and it’s comforting but it ignites something in you that you’d rather not expose. At least not right now where everyone can see— where he can see. His laughter rumbled in his chest, and the sound vibrates against your throat. He only drags his teeth gently across the supple skin, not wanting to get you into trouble by leaving you a far too obvious purple mark, smack bang in the middle of your throat where anyone would see. Your parents, your little church friends who’d undoubtedly whisper like it’s the hottest piece of gossip they had ever heard. It would be, if you were honest. You, a sinner? That would be the talk of the town.

It was all so very cute to him, and truthfully, it makes Jungkook twitch against his boxers.

He only decides he’s going to stop torturing you when you let out the nastiest little whine, the grip you have on his shoulders tightening as you try to contain your enjoyment. You’ve never been touched so sensually before, so carefully. Not even by your previous partners. Granted you didn’t allow them to— you grew up a devoted Christian, after all.

There was a running trend with the boys you seemed to go for though; tall, quiet and handsome – sure – but most of all so very…atheist. A stark difference in beliefs than the ones you grew up with. It wasn’t intentional, you swear! They were just always so much kinder, knew how to treat you and ironically, they were so much more understanding of your wants and needs. Dating boys with different beliefs than yours has taught you a lot about humanity and how divided people truly were when it came to where they stood; morally, socially— religiously. You’ve never been one to discriminate, or judge others for wanting to believe there was more to life than to be held back from doing things you wanted, craved to experience.

These days you wonder, too. Just slightly, though; never too much because you’re afraid if you do, you might like what you’re met with on the other side. Maybe even a little too much.

Still, he pulls away before you can get lost in him, which would be dangerous, but he never allowed it to go that far. He didn’t want to make you do anything you might regret. Even if the prospect of your fear of sinning and going against ‘what God intended for us’ did make him snort, holding back the need to roll his eyes. And yet, much to his dismay, he lets you go completely and lets out a deep sigh at the sight of you; when he gets a good look at your blissed out expression, he bites his lip a little bit harder than intended. Your half-lidded gaze is anything but innocent, but to him you’re heaven sent.

 “Don’t look at me like that, princess.” He smiles cooly, but his voice fails him, raspy and deep as he subconsciously leans closer to you. You blink slowly at him, a playful pout on your lips you lean back, pressing your palms into the soft grass behind you for support.

“Like what?” You tease, knowing full well what he was alluding to, still you were feeling playful. Jungkook shakes his head, amused by your sudden boldness. He follows you, hovering over you, planting his palms right beside yours, inching his face closer to yours. You lean in, and when he nearly catches your lips again you pull away. His jaw tightens, clearing his throat.

“Alright, come on.”  He huffs, pushing himself up onto his feet, dusting himself off before holding his hand out to you. Your brows furrow, and your shoulders sink slightly in disappointment.

“Where are we going?” You ask, a quiet squeak leaving your throat when he pulls you up with ease.

“Taking your ass home, before I do something I’ll need to repent for later.” He admits, lacing his fingers with yours. Your stare lingers on your interlocked hands for a moment, noting the way you blush at the simple gesture. You stare into the back of his head, not really hearing the words that leave his mouth. You’re still trying to shake the tingling warmth that completely encompassed you, and you stumble slightly against the larger strides he takes due to his legs being taller. You ignore the way he takes a subtle jab at the fact you were a Christian, not that it ever truly offended you. These days you don’t even know if you’re worthy of such a title; your prayers felt like empty promises on your end, like chores that you do subconsciously out of routine and familiarity. The more time you spent away from home, where your mind is infiltrated with thoughts that weren’t fully your own, the more you find yourself becoming someone you don’t completely recognise. All you could think about when you’re lying in your bed at night is the way his hands felt against your skin, and what would have happened if you allowed his hand to roam further, to do exactly what he intended.

Dare you say you had never felt so passionately something; about the desire to be tarnished under the hands of a man you met mere months ago. A man your parents would disapprove of no doubt, but the prospect only made you want him more. So much that you’re cupping your own heat, grinding down into your palm to simulate the feeling of being with him. You tap around your sheets with your free hand in search for your phone, hardly thinking straight. You scroll through your contacts with shaky fingers, tapping on his name without a second thought.

You whine, the aching between your thighs growing to be difficult to bear on your own. The phone rings four times over before he picks up.

Like you he’s lying in his bed, the exhaustion from the week taking over him. He had only seen you a few hours ago, but he smiles up at the ceiling when he presses the phone to his ear. “Hey, pretty girl.”

You let your phone sit on speaker, tossing into back onto your bed beside you as you grope at your breasts, your fingers putting pressure over your panties against your clit. You shudder, and your stuttered breath causes him to sit up slightly, raising his brow. “Baby?”

“Jungkook…” you’re pouty and he can tell even without seeing you. Your whiny tone is broken and breathy as he attempts to put the pieces together.

It doesn’t take him very long.

“What’s the matter, Y/N?” He humours you anyway, allowing himself to lay back down and get comfortable. You were just fine.

“I…I need…” You groan, when you squeeze your breast, bucking into up into hand when you feel the sticky substance begin to seep through your underwear.

“Mhm, what do you need?” His voice deepens an octave, and it sends vibrations through you without him even there.

“I want you here.” You say instead, inhaling sharply, holding your breath when you push your panties aside and drag a pointer finger through your folds. “I want you here, so much.” You urge, teasing yourself with slow circles on your own clit.

“Hm…is that so?” Jungkook licks his lips, pulling the phone away from his ear to swap the call over to FaceTime. The sudden vibration against the mattress makes you flinch. You pull your hand from your pussy altogether, your thumb hovering over the answer button, other hand still lightly squeezing at your breast.

You answer him with the image of your heavy lids, flushed cheeks and your pointer finger swirling around your stiffened nipple. You bite your lift softly when his face comes into view. His arm is resting behind his head; the corners of his lips are slightly upturned and he himself looks quite tired. He springs back to life at the sight of you like this, so blatant and vulnerable. You sigh dreamily when the muscles in his arm tense slightly, his only visible reaction being the slight widening of his sleepy eyes. He lets out a laugh that sounds like it was meant for nothing but to degrade you fully for being so naughty, without him there with you no less.

“Well, aren’t we awfully keen tonight.” He can’t help the lopsided grin he flashes right at you. “And to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asks you, feigning cluelessness to your condition.

“I just…” Your tongue darts out to moisten your lips, growing dry as you pant, attempting to grasp for a breath that didn’t feel desperate. He lifts a brow in anticipation, watching the way your lips glistened now, the way your finger absentmindedly rubbed yourself through your shirt, stiff peaks now visible to him through the phone, even when your room was dim and the quality of the video was slightly static. “I want you to touch me.” Your eyes flutter shut, the back of your head sinking further into your pillow. He can’t see the way your other hand roams down your thigh, returning to your wetness where your poor clit was yearning for contact.

Jungkook swallows thickly, but he does well at hiding the thumping going on in his chest. “W-what are we doing, sweetheart?”

He has a good idea, but he asks anyway.

“Touching myself,” You mumble, almost incoherent. “Pretending it’s you.”

Jungkook tugs slightly at his boxers, his length beginning to suffocate within its confines.  “Fuck, baby.” He growls, soothing his palm over himself at the thought of your fingers on your untouched pussy. “Could’ve had me earlier…”

“I know,” you whine, your regret evident when your brows pull together in frustration. “I’m sorry.” You rub yourself faster, only to stop the movement altogether. Suddenly, your own fingers just aren’t enough. You want it to be him; you want him to make you cum for the first time that wasn’t by your hand.

He can see it in your scrunched up features that you needed him. “It’s alright, sweet girl.” he coos, hissing when he squeezes his cock slightly, feeling the slight throb under the pressure of his hand. “Let me help you through it.”

Your eyes flutter open, glassy and big as you look at him through your screen. Before you can ask what he means by it, he’s answering your question with one of his own. “Fingers on your clit, baby?”

You hum, nodding slow and curt. Your cheeks were already hot, but they were on fire now. You’ve never heard Jungkook directly say anything that had anything to do with sex before. You know it’s because he didn’t want to pressure you into anything you didn’t want to do, but the way the words leave his lips with ease shoots straight through your body and causes you to rut up into your own fingers.

“Good,” He sighs heavily, throwing his head back, his right shoulder rolling slightly in a slow and repetitive movement. You recognise it as him touching himself, and the thought of his hand on his covered cock makes you moan. “You’re such a good girl, Y/N.”

His praise has you narrowing your stare, blinking up at him through your lashes with parted lips and heavy breaths. Your eyes scan your screen as you watched him pleasure himself at the idea of you doing the same. You’ve never felt this way before, and that excited you— to want someone to touch you so badly that you don’t care if God was watching.

“Want to see my cock, pretty girl?” Your fingers slip, wrist giving in from holding your phone up in front of you for too long, letting the device fall onto your chest. Jungkook can’t help but laugh, throws his head back and let’s his echo through his room. “Adorable.”

You pick up your phone, moving onto your knees as you bring yourself back into the frame. He smiles sweetly at you, propping his back up against his bed frame now. “I don’t want to be adorable,” you frown, shuffling down the bed to prop your phone up against the frame at the end of your bed. With a full view of you now, Jungkook watches you closely, and you can see the way his eyes go wild taking in every inch of you. You’re only wearing panties, and soon you’re pulling your shirt over your head to reveal more of yourself to him. “Wanna be your bad girl…” you play with the strap of your bra, pushing it down your arm, pulling it back up to your shoulders and letting it snap against your skin. “How will you get my underwear off from all the way over there, Kookie?”

Oh, you’re so nasty for this, he thinks. He laughs dryly, pulling his hand off his crotch. “I can get them off you, baby. Doesn’t matter if I’m there or not.” He’s confident in his answer, completely locked into the prospect of coaxing the material off your body with nothing but dirty words and praise.

“You’re so sure?” You’ve spent your whole life holding back from things you wanted to do; you think you’ve got this in the bag. You’re an expert— or so you think. Your grin is pretty, wicked, but God, you were so pretty. Jungkook was almost honoured to tarnish that spotless reputation of yours.

Jungkook tuts, shaking his head. “Lay down,” he says it casually at first, but when you shake your head, that cheeky smile only growing bigger he realises what it really was that you wanted from him. “I said lay the fuck down, Y/N.” He snarls, his expression bordered on angry, his string of patience beginning to fray in the middle.  “I won’t ask you again.”

His harsh tone makes your skin raise, and you stare straight into your phone’s camera when you slowly, but surely, obey his command. “Yeah, just like that…”  he hums as your prop yourself up on your elbows, knees pressed together. “Now open your legs for me.”

 You don’t attest, revealing to him the trueness of your past ministrations. The dark patch on your panties makes him scoff, and you shift under his harsh gaze. “Pathetic.”

“Jungkookie, I-“

“Nah, I’ve heard enough out of you.” He cuts you off, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “It’s like you want to be punished, baby.”

There’s an undertone to the situation that both turns you on and frightens you. The feeling of your guilt is dull, unaware that Jungkook had slowly became the only man you wanted to praise. The difference was he had no expectations, no rules in order to be accepted by him. He wanted you for how you, no matter whether that came with baggage or not. It’s what has you surrendering yourself fully to him, you think.

“What can I do for you to forgive me?” You beg, your words falling from your lips like velvet. “I-I just want to make you happy.”

Jungkook presses his lips together in thought, and to stop himself from smiling at you. “Keep playing with your pretty pussy for me.” He nods forward, urging you to continue ruining the cotton between your legs. “And I just might forgive you.”

You throw your head back, your fingers returning to the sopping wet fabric. Your fingers dip between your folds, giving him a clear picture of the outline of your cunt. You spread your legs a little more, middle finger rubbing slowly onto your clothed clit. “Like this, Kookie?” You whine lowly, bucking slightly when the pleasure begins to build within you.

“Mhm. Just keep doing that for me.” You don’t see how he sets up his phone similarly to you, pulling himself out of his tight boxers. His sweats and underwear hanging low on his hips as his grips his hard length, soothing his rough palm over himself with a sigh. “Pull those panties aside baby, let me see how pretty you are.”

You do so without hesitation, sliding your finger through your wet folds without him having to ask. He hisses, tongue clicking at the lewd sight, jaw tightening. “Fucking hell, Y/N.” He squeezes his cock, thumb swiping over the sensitive tip. “Tell me what you’d let me do to you if I was there, beautiful.”

Your finger moves up and down your bundle of nerves, finding a spot that sends your senses into overdrive. You rock your hips rhythmically against your hand with a mewl that makes Jungkook twitch in his hand. “I…want–you,” you try to wrack your brain for words, struggling to pick a fantasy to articulate without sounding ridiculously desperate; the problem is that you are ridiculously desperate. “I like your thighs,” you begin to pant, throat growing dry at the idea of riding his thigh, and your emptiness flutters against nothing.

“Yeah? Wanna ride my thigh, like a little kitty on heat?” He bites his lip, zeroed in on your pussy as your pleasure seeps onto your thighs at the sheets beneath you. “Your poor little hole, it’s asking to be filled clenching around nothing like that.” He huffs, the sound of him fucking himself into his hand finally catching your attention. “Add a finger for me.”

You sit up, a quiet gasp leaving your lips when you get your first glance at Jungkook. Your um and uh at his long, hard cock. Your pupils dilating before him like you’re under hypnosis. Your reaction makes him smirk, tonguing at his teeth as he lets you watch him fist at his twitching member. “Take off your bra.”

You don’t even take your eyes off your phone when your hands reach behind your back, the soft click sounding through your quiet room as you unhook your bra, you shrug it softly off your shoulders, letting it fall effortlessly off your chest. Your saliva coats at your bottom lip, springing you back to reality only slightly to swipe your tongue over the pink flesh before it can fall onto your chin. God, you really were pathetic, weren’t you?

“You’re stunning…” He sighs, throwing his head back only for a moment, for he didn’t want to miss a moment more to look at you fully. He’s in bliss, and he looks ethereal in the way he touches himself, using you to his own pleasure. “I’ve never done it before.” You admit after some time, your hands caressing your own skin, giving him a little bit of a show as he jacked off in front of you, grunting and sighing as he subconsciously fastens his pace.

“Hm? Never done what, baby?” He breathes out, slowing down to preserve the moment. He lets go of his length and lets it slap against his abdomen, looking down at it before looking back up at him. You moan at the sight, biting your lip and arching into the grip you have on both of your breasts.

“I’ve never put anything inside me.” You admit shyly, looking away from the screen to avoid his intense stare. Jungkook bites back another grin. “Not even your fingers?” You shake your head. “That’s kind of hot.” He admits, unabashed it the way he takes hold of himself again, a strong tight grip that he envisions is your tight hole squeezing him firmly.

You furrow your eyebrows, leaning back against your pillows again, getting back in the position you were in before. “I want you to do it, though…” You pout, a slight playfulness to your voice that attempts to hide the truth behind your words.

“I could do it for you, but I want you to do it for me.” He says lowly, “Come on, I’ll guide you through it and I promise I’ll do it for your next time.” You hum, his promise encouraging you to try. You lift your legs, giving him the most delicious view of your ass and thighs as you slowly peel your soiled panties off your legs. You lower your legs to reveal your teasing expression, tossing them off to the side and showing off your glistening pussy to him. You’re not completely hairless, and he finds that extremely sexy; he’s used to the complete bareness, but the small bush that sits atop your lips looks purposeful, and it looks delectable, and to think he’s the first man on earth to see you like this.

“So hot, baby…” He moans, you tap at your inner thigh, feather light touches tracing down over your pussy lips, circling the whole you had always been too nervous to touch. “It’s okay, you’re wet enough, and it’ll go in easily. Just try, hm?” He coaxes you when he notes the hesitation, but half of it is impatience on his part. He could only edge himself so much.

You hiss when your finger glides in, the feeling is foreign, but it doesn’t hurt. Still, your walls are snug against your appendage, and you find yourself shuddering at the thought of his cock inside of you. “Curl your finger up toward you.” He aids, and when you do as he says you moan quietly, looking down at yourself as you do it again, and again, and again. But when your thumb finds your clit…oh.

“Oh…Jungkook.”  Your eyes roll back, the feeling is delicious, and it fills you in the way you had always craved for. This is what you’ve been missing out on? This is what would have condemned you from heaven? You don’t even realise you’re thinking out loud, stuttered and mumbly but still audible enough for him to catch your words.

“Baby, this is heaven.”

It’s the last thing really shared between you before it falls into all moans and cries of each other’s names. Your free hand twirls at your nipples, your eyes growing wet with the intensity of the pleasure building up inside you. Jungkook urges you to cum with him, calls you his good girl; in a strange way it makes you feel wanted, desired in a way no one else could have made you feel prior.

You watch him when he cums, your fingers gently tapping your clit as you ride out your high. Your lids feel heavy but the visual of the ribbons of white cum shooting onto his stomach makes your hips raise, chasing the feeling of him, the feeling you’ve yet to know.

It doesn’t feel real, that you’re naked and exposed in your most vulnerable state for him. After a moment longer he’s the first to compose himself, grabbing his phone with a shit eating grin on his face. You only change your position, laying on your side, head propped up by your hand against your cheek. He hums peacefully, carrying the phone facing him as he ventures off quietly the sound of water running the only sound between you. You watch him tiredly, your heart fluttering with infatuation. When he’s turns his attention back to you, he whistles lowly, and you roll your eyes at his dramatics

“Baby, can I please screenshot?”

Your snort at his beady eyes and pouty lips, his duality ever the mystery to you. “Absolutely not.”

“Pfft, prude.” He jokes, but you whine, rolling face first into the bed to hide from him. “Aw, I’m sorry cutie, don’t pout.” A muffled groan sounds through his phone that makes him wish he was with you. He tongues at his lip ring while his brain works, and the rushed shuffling in the background makes you look up at your phone with curiosity.

“What are you doing?” You wonder aloud, as you watch him struggle a little pulling his sneakers on with one hand, the creaking of a door opening and the sound of it shutting gently behind him catching your attention. “Where are you going?”

“So many questions, curious little cat.” Jungkook tuts at you with a playfully glint in his eye.

IT'S BEEN SAID that with great notoriety, comes great responsibility to uphold the expectations of those who presume the worst about you.

Okay, so that's a lie. No one's ever said that - but Jeon Jungkook has never been one for sticking to traditions, and so he likes to live his life as if that's his motto.

That, and 'rather be dead than cool.'

Which is ironic, because it's only the heteropatriarchal bores - the ones from upper-class families, who want a white picket fence and 2.4 kids - that actually think he's lame.

And he doesn't particularly give a shit about their opinions.

Everyone else thinks he's actually pretty fuckin' cool.

Black nails, black cargo pants, black hair that waves loosely over his sharp features. An air of command as he walks, a swagger in his step that lingers in stranger's heads like the silage of his aftershave.

Yeah, Jungkook is cool, and he fucking knows it.

A rucksack is perpetually slung over his shoulder, the top concaved slightly to indicate there's very little in there, not much more than a tatty notepad and a few loose pens - or so you assume.

You've never actually spoken to him. Why would you?

Daddy's little princess, glossy lips, manicured nails. The kind of girl who gives him a second look, but only to sneer. He doesn't think of you often, but when he does, it's never nice.

Jungkook doesn't have time for you, and you don't have time for him. Your paths rarely cross.

At least they barely crossed. Past tense. 

Now that you're taking a few of the same classes as him, he sees you a lot more than he likes. Hair always up in that stupid fucking ponytail that he can't see past, perpetually on your phone. Attention seeking little bitch.

He'd ranted a little to Jimin about it, told him that you really must have been a dumb bitch to swap from an economics major to a film studies major with only a single semester left.

Jimin hadn't said much in return. Unlike Jungkook and his insatiable hate-boner for you, Jimin really doesn't give a shit about you. Barely knows your name, let alone the fact that you studied economics before switching over. Was kind of curious as to how Jungkook knew that. Not enough to bother with asking, though.

Jungkook thinks it's normal to scope out the competition. A little Facebook look-up, Naver search, Instagram scroll. Surely it's rational to do that? Check out their LinkedIn, cross-reference their Twitter history to see what they've said about the course.

It absolutely isn't normal, but then again, nor is Jungkook.

He's exactly as he appears to be; the rogue look isn't a front.

But beneath the exterior, there are a few more traditions he's subverting. 

He's the first in his family to attend college, and he needs to ace this class to keep his scholarship.

It's all just projection, the way he despises you.

You've got everything he wants. A well-to-do family, money, prosperity, financial security. He's never known that. And while he shits on you for having parents that have provided for you, all he wants in life is to be able to do the same for his own children one day.

"I've matched you all with students of a similar grade level, so no one is at an unfair advantage," your professor calls out, tearing Jungkook from his thoughts. "Not a single one of you will experience the city in the same way. From shortcuts to your favourite coffee spots, your lives here will have been different to those of your peers."

Jungkook smirks, leaning back on his chair. He knows this city better than most; its dark corners, where the monsters lurk... how to hide and where to run.

Again, the rogue look isn't a front.

But he also knows how to work a camera better than anyone in that room, how to time his shots, how to frame them, too. Top of the class, though modestly quiet about it (he's got a reputation to uphold, after all), he's curious to see who would be considered an even match for him.

"That being said, your experiences are also shared with those around you. For this assignment, with your partner, I want you to create a unique piece of film that captures what the city means to you. Think outside the box. Create something that excites, that invokes. You've got eight weeks. The partner list is on the noticeboard at the back of the hall. Dismissed."

Footsteps echo around the lecture hall as everyone trundles out of the room. You wait back, having already seen the list before you entered the class.

Instead, you pull out a pen - one of the ones that Jungkook hates, with a ridiculous fluffy pink pom-pom on top - and jot down your number. You aren't aware of his insatiable hatred, and either way, you don't really care.

He ignores you as you approach his desk, eyes only drifting upwards when you slide the torn-out piece of paper towards him.

"Mhmm?"

He's rude, you notice. Brows raised, expression flat, he's fed up with you before you've even said a word. Kinda hot, admittedly, but rude.

"We're partners," you say with an ambivalent shrug. Jungkook's jaw seems to tense, head tilting as he breathes out a short smirk.

Partners?

"You haven't even gone out to check the board."

"So what?" You scoff a little. He doesn't like your tone. The feeling is mutual. "I just made it up?"

It's his turn to shrug, now. "Dunno. You tell me."

His hair waves around his features, and you wonder how long it takes him to make it look so natural. The girls around campus swoon over his hair, like he's some kind of God. Other boys try to emulate it, but they can never quite pull it off like he does.

Another thing that all the girls giggle about are his doe-like eyes, but they're hard, now. Narrow, almost. Less of a doe, more like a dragon. Maybe if you get his nostrils flaring, he'll breathe fire, too.

Yeah, he's hot, you want to laugh to yourself, but not that hot.

"I checked before I came in. Didn't take a genius to work out what it was for."

He takes a moment before he nods. "Right. Well, you should probably know that I work better alone. Just let me handle the assignment, a'right? You can put your name on it, whatever, I don't care. Just let me handle it."

A control freak, you note. Nice.

You didn't transfer majors in your last semester, and face all the hardships that came with such a decision, just to sit back and let someone else do the hard work for you.

"With all due respect, it's a joint assignment. I'm not putting my name on work I didn't actually do."

A stickler for the rules, he assesses. Fucking fastastic.

"Look," he sighs, adjusting his body so that he's practically leaning halfway over his desk. As much as it sounds like he doesn't want to be a part of this conversation, his body language is oddly engaged. "I need to ace this class. You've been here, what? All of three minutes? Film what you wanna film, send it over to me for editing."

"I'm very much capable of editing-"

"And if you could do me a favour and keep the nail salon footage to a minimum, that would be much appreciated. Everyone's seen that shit. It's not interesting. Gangnam underground shopping centre B-roll, too."

It's a thinly veiled insult. Assumptions he's making about you based on the clothes you wear and the company you keep. He doesn't explicitly say it, but you know what he means: you're not interesting.

Jungkook doesn't mean to be an asshole. Not really. He's just got a lot riding on this course, and doesn't want to risk it all for the sake of keeping the peace with someone he doesn't particularly like in the first place.

"Like our Professor said, we all experience the city differently," you plaster a smile on your face, the plastic kind that Jungkook hates. "You might just be surprised at what I can offer."

Private tennis clubs and shopping sprees worth more than a second-hand car? Yeah, no. He'll pass, thanks.

"Whatever," he reclines back, giving your number the once over before tearing a strip of empty paper from the bottom of the note. His hand moves quickly, scrawling his own number onto it. He doesn't hand it to you, but instead tosses it down onto the desk as he stands. "As I said, I work best alone. Don't bombard me with messages about the project. I'll have it under control."

He vacates his desk with an air of arrogance that you don't think he's yet earnt. Sure, he's hot, and from what you've seen of his work, he's pretty talented, too. But no one likes working with assholes, and the whole point of being at college was to make yourself a desirable candidate for jobs.

Or at least that's what your parents had always said.

When they were still talking to you, that was.

Before they decided that you're a disgrace to the family name, all for the simple desire of not wanting to spend your life slaving over finances and spreadsheets.

Like inheritance and a slightly crooked nose (straightened out for your high school graduation gift), econ majors ran in your family - and just like you'd cut off your parents' dream of watching you become an economist, they'd cut you off. Full stop.

So as far as you were concerned, Jungkook could take his arrogant whining about your financial situation, and the hobbies you might have enjoyed as a result of your upbringing, and shove it up his ass.

You really wish he would. Shove it up his ass, that is. Might relieve him of the pent up tension he seems to have going on.

Swiping up his number, you tuck it into your back pocket, ruing the day you'll actually have to text it.

It comes as a surprise to both of you when, a week later, Jungkook is the first to type a message into your fledgeling chat window.

I'm filming tonight. Could use a Grip, if you're free. Dongdaemun Design Plaza, 7pm.

You wonder how much pride he must have had to swallow in order to send you that. 

On occasion, during the past week, you've caught him looking at you in that slightly menacing way he always likes to do.

Part of you thinks he's unaware that he's doing it, just zoning out in your direction, but then you see him shake sense into himself - quite literally, a bunny with an itch behind its ear kind of shake - before he averts his gaze. 

He does a similar shake of his head when your response pings through to his phone.

Can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays. Sorry. Maybe another time.

He doesn't reply.

REJECTION HAS NEVER been something Jungkook has taken well. It's why he works so hard, fearful of being told that he isn't good enough.

He'd only sent that text because he genuinely did need a Grip.

Well, no. 

That's not quite right. 

He needed a muse; a subject of his shots, a pair of eyes to catch the confetti of night market lights in. Someone's hand to film as they exchanged money with a hotteok stand server, another human to get lost and found all within the same shot.

But that felt awkward to ask, especially after his insistence that he could do it all alone, so he'd settled for pretending he'd needed a grip. Just someone to hold his gear while he took tricky shots. That's all.

Given your rejection, he was pleased with his choice.

"Familiar," Yoongi nods over lunch the next day, following Jungkook's gaze. "Yeah, I've definitely seen her around. Dunno where, though."

"Campus, maybe?" Jimin rolls his eyes, confused at the fixation Jungkook seems to have on you.

Yoongi shakes his head. "Nah... She looks like-" he glances over to Jungkook conscious of Jimin's listening ears.

"Like?"

"Just like a girl I see occasionally," Yoongi pauses again, making sure Jungkook's focus on him. "At work."

Jimin laughs. "So yeah, on campus. You work in the campus cafe, Yoongs."

It was the only legitimate place that would hire him. Dumb choices as a kid - and a questionable nickname that's now etched into his knuckles - prevents most places from seeing him as a viable candidate.

Yoongi laughs along with Jimin, but Jungkook knows Yoongi isn't talking about the once a week shift that he picked up as a form of extra credit.

Jungkook knows, because on paper, he doesn't have a job either.

On paper, he manages to survive on his scholarship bursary, The Holangi Honour, awarded to gifted students from underprivileged backgrounds.

On paper, Jungkook is the Korean dream of hard work and perseverance.

His reality isn't so pristine, but it never has been. He comes from a long line of high school dropouts with dubious morals and criminally reckless career choices. It was naive to have thought attending university would help him escape it.

Scholarship funds dried up pretty quickly, rent and t-money cards eating away at it, until Jungkook had no choice but to revisit old haunts.

Yoongi had told Jungkook that he didn't need to worry, that he could help him out if he needed money, but Jungkook was no leech, much to his older friend's despair. He didn't want the kid getting into the same trouble that he was in.

One meeting with Yoongi's old school friend, Hoseok and Jungkook was in the rat race again, delivering people's come ups for when the sun went down. 

He'd always been good at running. Track, field, red lights, out of luck. Drugs, now, too.

Jungkook had managed a good year and a half on the straight and narrow. For that, he was proud. And sad.

But he's also determined. 

Top grades mean top jobs in the future, which means never having to traipse around Daerim at ass o'clock in the morning.

He hates this part of town, but it's where business is currently booming.

Hobi texts him a drop-off list each morning, ensuring his nights are almost exclusively spent in Daerim.

This is how Jungkook sees the city: grotty back allies, groups of men huddled around a pack of cards and dice on the floor, cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, phlegm spat onto the foor. He sees the women of the night in the early hours of the morning, and the sadness in the smiles they give to the men who approach them on street corners.

There's only one club of any worthwhile note in the area, and between jobs, Jungkook likes to sit up on the fire exit that rests above the back entrance.

It's where Hobi works, assisting some other reprobate that Jungkook doesn't care to learn the name of. Nasty piece of work, or so he's heard. The son of some powerful motherfucker that Jungkook knows to stay away from. He isn't interested in joining any stupid fucking gang. He just wants to get his money, get through university, and forget about this place.

That's the big dream at least.

His current wish, which feels much more immediate, is to outrun the fucker who has been on his tail for the past half a mile. Jungkook's pretty fast on his feet, and he gives a mean left-hook, but the guy chasing him has a pocket knife and that doesn't really feel like a fair fight.

It's his fault, and he knows it.

As per usual, Hobi had texted Jungkook his drop off list. Six of them, all in Daerim. He had no business being down by Jungang Market, especially not on a Thursday evening.

He couldn't even explain why he was; he was just curious about what life could be like if he ended up flunking out of college. He wanted to see where the monsters liked to lurk, or if they hid in the shadows like boogeymen.

But reprobate recognises reprobate, and drug runner recognises drug runner.

So now Jungkook really is running, out of territory that he shouldn't have infringed upon.

He's not out of breath yet, but he is conscious that his heartbeat feels like it's in his throat. A few streets over, his motorbike is parked behind an industrial-sized trash can, and he prays that no thieving cunt has tried to make a get away with it. They wouldn't have managed it - it's his prized possession and he never leaves it unprotected.

When he spots it a few minutes later, he laughs, relieved. "You beauty," he praises the engine, pulling his key from the pocket of his leather jacket.

The fucker chasing him is nowhere to be seen, probably nursing a stitch or panting down a different back alley. Jungkook doesn't want to risk it, eyes darting all over the place as he unbuckles the chain on his bike wheel with muscle memory alone. The metal clangs through the iron bars that protect the banjihas down the alley from break-ins. He always feels a little bit of guilt for chaining his bike up to the only source of natural light for the half-basement dwellings, but it's quarter past two in the morning. Not exactly sunshine hours.

And yet his eye is drawn to the light pouring down from a street lamp at the entrance of the narrow lane.

Usually, you ignore the noises you hear on your walk home - but, as strange as it sounded for Jungkook's voice to issue a compliment, you're almost positive that it is his voice.

Dark hair, dark eyes, he doesn't recognise you at first. You're wearing black, and your hair is down, but your lips still have that stupid fucking pink lipstick on, the one he'd seen you blot away onto a tissue in the middle of a lecture a few days prior.

His eyes linger, the lights flickering in his glossy dark irises as if there are fireworks inside that pretty little skull of his. For a moment, he thinks you must have been filming for the assignment. 

The lack of a camera proves otherwise.

"Get on the bike," he yells over to you, tugging on the sleeve of his leather jacket, pulling it down. Cognitive thoughts aren't something Jungkook's really working with, the adrenaline speaking for him.

That, and the fact that he's acutely aware of what men like the motherfucker who was chasing him down did to girls like you. Might not like you, but he doesn't want that on his conscience.

Plus, he needs your signature on the coursework documents, too. You're no use to him if you end up chopped into little squares and scattered in the river.

"Damnit, just get on the fucking bike!" He continues, noticing that you haven't moved a muscle. His jacket is off now, held out for you to take. He's impatient, eyes darting down the alleyway, as if he's scared of the rain that's pouring down around you. "Look, I ain't asking again. Just get on the bike, or I'll fuckin' leave you here. Some nasty fuckers about tonight."

And while you may not trust Jungkook, you don't trust the alleyways of downtown Seoul even more. You've seen the horrors. You know the dangers. Your mother didn’t raise a fool.

She also didn't raise you to bow to the commands of assholes like him either.

You ignore his jacket, hiking up your skirt, revealing far more of your thigh than most get to see. He doesn't make a comment, but you know he sees a flash of your underwear as you do so. 

For once, sex seems to be the last thing on his mind.

Rain pools in the gutter by the drainpipes, trickling down, collecting in the ducts. A puddle sits on top, a tell-tale sign that the street is going to flood soon, but Jungkook also doesn't give a shit about that. Not right now - but he does make a mental note to check that the drains are unblocked by his place when he gets home.

He's a fellow basement dweller, dependent on the cheap rent. A banjiha boy with big dreams of getting out.

You hoist your leg over, ignoring the droplets of water on the leather seat, as your hand wraps around his waist. The front of his white shirt is damp from the rain, elevating the scent of his laundry detergent. You don't hate it. Quite like it, actually.

"Wet conditions," he rasps, voice still hurrying out of his mouth. "So take the jacket. If I slide, the tarmac will rip your skin off." He turns, wrapping the jacket around your shoulders. "I'm not your father. Dress yourself."

"I'd be a bit concerned if my father was trying to dress me at the ripe old age of 21," you bite back, as if the fabric of his jacket doesn't feel like it's melting into your skin on account of how bloody warm he is. You push your arms through the material, shaking it ever so slightly as Jungkook begins to rev the engine.

"Thanks would have sufficed," he bites back a scoff, not wanting to waste time arguing. "Try not to fall off, a'right?" He gruffs. 

Some would have considered his concern endearing. You know it's just because he doesn't want to spend his evening scraping your flesh off the sidewalk. Not because he gives a single flying fuck about you. 

"Hold on."

He doesn't wait for longer than a second, just enough time for you to wrap your arms around his waist, before he pulls down on the accelerator. His exhaust chortles, spitting out petrol as he goes, water from the ground splashing up against your bare leg. You can feel goosebumps forming, and yet your arms are completely warm.

Of course they are. Jungkook's chest is a fucking furnace, heart pumping blood through him faster than the speed of light. Forward, forward, forward, he pushes his bike on, away from the downtown area he found you in, and away from the demons who were hunting him.

The vibration of the bike is a welcome disguise. Beneath the motor's veil, you're shaking. Partly terrified, partly the victim of an adrenaline surge. 

Hardly a surprise. You've never been on a bike like his before.

There weren't many men on motorbikes around your neighbourhood as a child, only Old Jinyeon, who had a Harley that he only rode on the weekends, or when his wife was away at that spa retreat that everyone knew was really code for 'rehab'. Prescription medication was her poison, mostly. There were whispers that alcohol was a bit of a problem, too. 

It was a shame, really. She was a nice lady - she'd just married into a lifestyle that didn't suit hers.

Old Jinyeon's father had also been called Old Jinyeon, and his father before that, regardless of their age. The name wasn't the only thing inherited, but a fortune too. Old by name, old by money. 

He'd met his wife at a gentleman's bar; gambled all of his chips away just so that he could keep talking to her as she worked.

But the good is rarely easy, and the easy never good. Women like her weren't supposed to be with men like him.

And girls like you aren't supposed to be on the back of boys like Jungkook's motorcycle.

But here you are, hurtling through the city at a speed you're pretty sure isn't legal, clinging onto him for dear life. Your eyes are shut, streaming with tears from the wind, mascara blotting onto his back.

"Left turn," he calls over his shoulder to brace you. Your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, stomach losing all stability as he rounds the corner. You've never suffered from travel sickness before, but now seems like the prime time to develop it.

The lights of the city all bleed into one kaleidoscope of colour. Your sense of direction has been rendered useless, only opening your eyes once every few seconds to make sure that this is real. And every single time, you're surprised to find that it is.

You expect it to be like a dream where you fall, only to wake up at the last second - but you've never had one of those dreams. You've only seen them in movies. You're not even sure they actually exist in real life. Perhaps this would be the closest you'd get to one. A main character moment - though this felt more like a crime-thriller than the rom-com you would have liked.

The feeling of damp wind in your hair like this is new, and exciting, but all you can think about is the fact that you're pretty sure one of your fake lashes just flew off. You pull your hand back to stroke at your lashes, just to check, but it's caught by Jungkook grabbing for it.

"I told you to hold on," he shouts, though he doesn't need to. The vibrations of his vibrato can be felt through his back. "So hold the fuck on, a'right?! I don't say shit like that for fun."

Jesus, you think. Who pissed in his cornflakes?

But he's right. You do need to hold on. He proves it by not warning you the next time he turns, the bike leaning so close to the tarmac that you're convinced you can feel rubber burn. He eases as soon as he hears you shriek, the grip you have on his chest so hard he swears you might puncture his skin. Reaching back, he cups your knee with his palm, checking for any sign of blood or broken skin. Negative. And yet his hand lingers before he retracts it. He's just making sure. Double-checking. Over-indulging.

"The fuck was that, asshole?" You all but scream.

"I told you to hold on, didn't I?!"

He did. And if you weren't doing so now, tighter than before, you'd have hit him so hard in the balls that he'd have no choice but to adopt in later life.

"You could have fucking killed me!"

"Oh, boo-hoo," he sneers, catching his tongue before he says something he'll grow to regret.

Jungkook would never have killed you. He knows these streets like the back of his hand, and how to ride his bike almost as well as he knows how to get himself off. It's second nature. Innate. A gift.

But before you can argue back, he draws to a stop, his exhaust rattling, the motor purring. As much as he'd like to tell you to get the fuck off his bike, he can feel you trembling now. A part of him - a very slim, deeply hidden part - feels guilty for being so hard on you.

He's grown up with bikes. Trusts them. Lives, breathes gasoline.

He doesn't imagine you know how to change a bicycle tyre, let alone anything with a motor.

The hand that had checked you for damage earlier returns, his fingertips warm against your goosebumps skin. He strokes lightly, once, twice, quickly. "You're fine," he tells you, and you want to believe him.

"Never said I wasn't."

He snorts a small laugh, then taps your knee, encouraging you off of the bike. His hand remains close as you do so, conscious of the fact that you'll most likely be unsteady on your feet - feet that he now notices are clad in the strappiest pair of heels he's ever seen in his life. Perhaps he doesn't need to worry about your stability at all. If you can walk in those, then you can surely handle a pair of wobbly knees.

Without much thought, you take his offer of assistance, his jacket dwarfing you as you stand, hand clasped in his.

"Where are we?"

The alleyway you're down is unlike the previous one he stole* you from (*rescued). It's cobbled and damp, yes, but the doors down here lead to dwellings, garages too. Not an industrial-sized trash cart in sight. And it doesn't smell like fermented piss either, which is a surprise. You thought that was just the standard for side-streets around these parts.

"Doesn't matter," Jungkook shrugs ambivalently as he unhooks his leg over the bike.

He wants to ask why you're wearing such stupid shoes.

That's a lie.

He doesn't think they're stupid.

He actually quite likes them. You've nice ankles. They look good.

What he really wants to ask is why you're wearing them on a school night. The pair of you might be in college, but it wasn't student night at the clubs, and he hadn't picked you up from a particularly nice part of town.

There are only three types of women he ever sees in Daerim: hookers, sugar-babies and addicts. You aren't any of those; you're a trust-fund baby who can get Percocet on private repeat prescription, if you really want it. He's sure of it.

So it then further begs the question: why the fuck were you there?

Sliding off his jacket, you offer him a small smile. It's the least you can do, you suppose.

It's funny, because you only ever see three kinds of men in Daerim: drunks, gamblers, and dealers. Jungkook isn't any of those. You might not know that much about him, but you know he's a scholarship kid, and that he won the winter film festival on campus for his documentary on back-alley gambling.

"We're not too far from campus," he eventually states. Few blocks over. He assumes you live on campus. Got the money for it.

"Cool," you nod, sure that you'll be able to find your bearings from here. You don't live on campus. Not anymore. No money for it. "Thanks for the lift, I guess."

The atmosphere is awkward, dewy mist in the air dampening both of you. He nods back, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

He knows he should invite you in, offer you somewhere to wait while you call a cab or something, but he's embarrassed. Of himself. His living situation. The fact that he doubts you've ever even been in a basement that isn't a wine cellar.

"Look I-"

"So-"

Jungkooks nose scrunches, cringing at the awkwardness. You glance down, self-conscious.

"What were you doing over in Daerim?" he asks rather out of the blue. He doesn't even process that he's asked until it's too late.

You clear your throat a little. "Just had some errands to run."

"At two in the morning?"

You nod.

"Right," he doesn't believe you, but can't think of a better explanation.

"Well, what were you doing there?" You ask, albeit a little more confrontational than intended. You were on the defensive.

His mouth is flat as he speaks, a narrowness to his eyes that makes your lips purse to suppress a smirk. "Running errands."

So you're both dirty little liars. Who'd've thought?

"Fairplay," you say with a smile. "Look, I still appreciate the ride. I'd have been fine," you add."But yeah, appreciate it nonetheless."

"Was nothing. I was headed in this direction anyway. If you take a left at the end of the street and follow the road down, there's usually a bunch of taxis waiting for the university cleaners to finish their night shifts. I'm sure you'll be able to get one."

"Take a left," you hum. "Cool. Will do." Bracing yourself to leave, Jungkook wonders if he should offer you a lift to your place too. "See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow. Class? That thing we attend during daylight hours?"

"Oh right. Yeah. See you tomorrow."

Bizarrely enough, if this is how awkward Jungkook is when he's being nice, you think you prefer him being an asshole. At least he has a little spark in him then.

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook feels overloaded with fucking sparks, like someone's holding an axe grinder against the metal of his earrings, deafening him. The reality of his evening is kicking in, and the knowledge that he came a few metres from having a hole in his abdomen becomes overwhelming. He doesn't let it show, though.

"Thanks, again."

You make a promise to punch yourself in the face if you say thank you one more fucking time.

"It's fine, again," he smiles, with a small laugh, before focusing those eyes of his on the floor.

And so you leave, walking straight past the taxi rank and taking a shortcut to your apartment, which is a lot closer than you had realised.

Seven steps below street level, you jog down to your front door, petting the neighbourhood calico stray on your way down. The door closes with a slam, but you don't give a shit because the people in the apartment above never seem to give a shit when they stumble home at four in the morning.

Before he sleeps that evening, Jungkook wonders how much of the skyline you get to indulge in. Your dad works in the accounting side of one of the largest law firms in the city, he knows that much from his research. Knows that your immediate family has more money than probably all of his relatives combined. Alive and dead.

He just isn't aware that you're not seeing a single dime of it. Not since you dropped out of the economics and business side of school to focus on the creative arts. All that money your parents had 'wasted' on your education? Well, they weren't wasting any more.

Because you're a commodity, to be bought and sold, apparently. Not their daughter, who they should have just wanted to be happy.

So now you spend your Tuesday and Thursday evenings down in Daerim.

Because you are a commodity; and if anyone's gonna be selling you, then it may as well be your fucking self. 

A stack of yellow 50,000 won bills sit on your desk. Twelve of them. 600,000 won. Not bad for a week's work. 6 hours.

Might have been cut off from your Dad's money, but your replacement 'daddy' wasn't a bad substitute.

The bluntness of such a statement usually makes you laugh, but not today.

If Jungkook knows the Daerim area like you think he does, then he'll be able to work it out soon enough. A bitterness fills your chest, like coffee dripping through a filter, forgotten about and left to go cold. You've been so good at playing pretend.

Secrets are so much easier to keep when they're not shared.

Perhaps that should be your project piece.

Secrets of Seoul: The Seedy Underbelly of The City.

After all, that was your unique view of the city; the side you saw that you were pretty sure no-one else did.

At least, no one else except Jungkook. Go figure.

"SEVEN WEEKS LEFT!" Your professor reminds the class as they dismiss you from your lecture. There's a little chatter, partners sharing ideas and friends discussing what to have for lunch - and then there's you and Jungkook.

He waits by the end of his row for you to walk to meet him, an inconspicuous look on his face.

The girl who he's watching neatly put a fluffy pen into her handbag looks a lot like you, but a hell of a lot different from the girl he gave a lift to last night.

Who the fuck are you?

Jungkook has always liked a little mystery. Seen the romanticism in the unknown. Still doesn't like you - but you've gotten him curious.

"You haven't sent anything over yet," he notes, keeping a slight distance from you as you walk together up the stairs.

"You told me not to bombard you," you remind him.

"Sending me video files once in a blue moon is fine."

"Once in a blue moon. Gotcha."

It's Friday, so he knows it's not one of your pre-determined days of having prior engagements.

It's only now that he realises that must have been why you were in Daerim last night; that your 'errands' are actually scheduled into your routine. It doesn't bode well for his 'not a hooker, an addict or a sugar-baby' theory.

"I was thinking of heading over to Dongdaemun this evening, seeing as you weren't free on Tuesday," he starts a little awkwardly, but the more he speaks, the easier it becomes. Being nice, that is. "I could still use a hand, if you're free? If you're serious about helping out, I mean. It would be good to make a start on things."

Relief washes over you. You've been fearing a conversation about the night before, but Jungkook doesn't want to talk about it just as much as you don't.

You meet him at seven o'clock that evening at Dongdaemun Design Plaza. You've always loved the green roof, how organic the landscaping looks above such a futuristic building. He listens as you explain this, eyes wide and in awe of the sloping pathways and curved walls, showing him your favourite of all the trees in the park.

Jungkook looks at you for a second, observes your hands, how they delicately move a few leaves to frame the shot you're taking. You've a Midas touch, and Jungkook wonders if your fingers would turn him to gold, too.

It's a silly, fleeting thought, but it doesn't stop him from focusing the camera on you as you roam Dongdaemun night market later that evening, lights cascading over you like glitter.

He thinks you're pretty in this light. Pretty when it's just him and you. No distractions.

Except there's hustle and bustle everywhere, a vendor chasing a thief, groups of high schoolers laughing on their way home from Hagwons, food sizzling, vapours making his stomach rumble. Perhaps you're the distraction, instead.

The pair of you spend the next week traipsing the city together.

Somehow, you only ever come together when the sun goes down, but it's fitting. You're a pair of nightcrawlers, swarming through the city when traffic sounds like a melody and destinations are unknown.

He learns that you drink your coffee black, no sugar, lukewarm. You learn that he'd rather rub coffee granules into his eyes than drink it.

And despite your preference for no sugar, he always tosses a little white sachet towards you whenever you order a coffee. He finds it funny. Insists that you have to be a sugar baby. It's the only way he can explain that night he saw you Daerim.

He's just joking. And you pretend not to, but you find it hysterical.

Mainly because he doesn't realise how bang on the money he is.

But also because you can't help but laugh whenever he does.

There's a comfort that grows between the pair of you, a familiarity. A casual ease that doesn't feel dangerous, not even when he's pulsing through the city on his bike, you holding onto him, his leather jacket wrapped around your body. You begin to like the way that the wind feels in your hair, and you stop wearing fake lashes. Jungkook doesn't tell you, but he likes you better with a few freckles showing, dewy highlighter and a little mascara being the only makeup you wear for the midnight city roams.

It's only because you can't be wasting resources reserved for clients on a boy from your film studies class. Times are tough, money is tight. No point in pouring funds into a boy you won't make revenue from. It's a bad business decision.

A few months ago, you did your makeup multiple times a day just for fun. Now you have to ration it. Life... life isn't what it used to be.

But Jungkook is ignorant to that, and you quite like it. Escaping from your reality. Becoming the version of yourself that he thinks you are.

He isn't sure which version of you he wants to spend time with the most; the too-good for him daddy's girl who dresses in Celine and comes with a pout, the enigma who lurks in the shadows that he thought he had a monopoly over, or the master director who seems to rival his talents for capturing moments of life in 4K.

As he watches your brows furrow while you turn your phone upside down, trying to understand a map, he decides that he doesn't care which version he gets.

Jungkook wants what he wants.

There's an impulsion to his desires and subsequent actions that he takes to obtain them. He's driven by gratification, and little else.

On the days he wants to feel wanted, he'll go to a bar. He never whispers false promises or pretends like he's after anything more than what can be achieved in a single night. The girls he goes for tend to see that as a challenge. They think they can convince him otherwise. It's not his fault when they can't. It's not his fault that they end up falling for him regardless. It's not his fault that he never has any intention of loving them back.

He tells them this. They ignore him. It isn't his fault.

On the days he wants to feel accomplished, he'll stay on campus until the cleaners usher him out of the room so that they can prepare it for the next day. Their insistence is lost on him - no amount of Cif can polish the dirt out of the walls. Once a shithole, always a shithole. He'll offer his apologies for getting in their way, and they'll coo over him like he's their own grandson. It's all very sweet.

They tell him not to overwork himself. He lies and says he won't.

On the days he wants to eat more than a single cup of ramyeon - which is most days, given his absolutely mammoth appetite - he'll send Hobi a text and request more drop-offs for that evening. Yoongi will give Jungkook a subtle look whenever a message from Hobi pings through, knowing it mustn't be good news. It never is.

Jungkook tells Yoongi to mind his business - but with a grin and a glint in his eye that eases his friends worry ever so slightly.

Disapproval never stops Jungkook from doing what he wants, regardless.

Not from his friends, from the cleaning ajummas, and especially not from you.

So he ignores the look in your eye, as he encourages you to follow him through a gap in the chainlink fence, which surrounds a disused water tower on the outskirts of the city.

Jungkook wants what he wants.

And right now, he wants to get a shot of the midnight city from his favourite vantage point.

"You said you've taken thousands of shots here," You hiss as a twig snaps beneath your foot. He smirks as you utter out a curse. "Surely you can just reuse one of those?!"

He guides you round, ignoring the ground level rubble, until you get to a ladder that definitely isn't safe for use. It's rusting by the bolts, and has a few vines trailing up it, undisturbed for months. Remnants of paint are flaking from the structure, collecting like ashes on the ground below.

"I have," he shrugs, unhooking your camera bag from your shoulder, popping it into his rucksack for safe keeping. He crouches, putting his palms upwards to offer you a leg up. "You haven't, though. You see the city differently to me, remember?"

He's taunting you. Reusing the phrase from your Professor that you had quoted to him on the first day of the project. Asshole.

Asshole with a smirk that suggests he's only teasing. Suggests that he's fond. Words that suggest he remembers the things you say to him. Memorises them, even.

Curious.

"Can't we just pretend like we see it the same way?"

"No can do, sugar."

"Oh my god, stop calling me that."

You're thankful for the midnight sky and the way it disguises your blush.

As if throwing packets of the white stuff at your face in coffee shops isn't enough, he's taken to calling you 'sugar', too.

"Give me a reason not to," he says as he tilts his head, encouraging you to accept his leg up. You check your feet for mud, then put your trust in his grip.

"I've already told you, I was just running errands," you defend yourself for the thousandth time. A short yelp escapes your lips as he boosts you up, your hands gripping onto the flaking bars beside the ladder.

He doesn't believe you for a second. He also doesn't believe that you're actually a sugar baby. It's just fun to fuck with you a little.

Once you're up, he waits for you to safely sit on the ledge, and then he makes the climb too. He's up a lot quicker than you, coming to sit beside you with his legs dangling over the ledge of the railings.

"Tell me it isn't worth it," Jungkook says a little airily, enamoured with the view.

And he's right. It is worth it.

A maze of city lights twinkle like the Carina nebula, interstellar, yet entirely of this earth. Bright whites, reds and greens speckle the horizon, and for a moment, it's easy to forget that you're looking at Seoul. There's a magic that can only be appreciated from a distance, far away from the scent of alleyways and the void nothingness of grey brick buildings. Skyscrapers tower above the skyline, but still look small from where you and Jungkook sit, silently, in awe.

"Look over there," he points across the vast expanse. You follow his trajectory, but you have no idea if you're picking out the right spot. "Daerim. Can always tell. Know the street layout too well."

"You're gonna get me thinking you're a sugar baby," you nudge your shoulder into his, and he laughs.

Reaching into his rucksack, you expect him to pull out your camera. Instead, his hand comes back into vision holding a pair of chopsticks and a tub of instant ramyeon. Uncooked.

He pulls the seal back, stabs at it with the chopsticks and offers you the small chunk he's broken off.

"It's good," he promises.

You know what dried ramyeon tastes like. You know it's good. You just can't understand what the fuck is wrong with him.

"Are you broken?"

He grins as he tosses the chunk of dried noodles into his own mouth. "Absolutely - but ramyeon is ramyeon."

You tell him he's weird, and he continues to smile, not resisting as you take the tub from him and break off a chunk with your fingers.

It's one of his favourite snacks. He's impatient and impulsive at the best of times. Waiting for it to cook? Too much effort. Cooking it at the convenience store and carrying it up the tower with him? Disaster waiting to happen. It's just easier this way.

And so the pair of you sit, not really saying much, watching the city roll by. Every now and again, he offers you a chunk from his chopsticks.

By the end of the night, neither of you have gotten any footage of the city.

And neither of you really care.

AS YOU SPRINT home after yet another spree around the city with Jungkook, running late for your Thursday evening appointment, you curse your inability to send his calls to voicemail. 

You should really be working more. You need to be working more - but for the past four weeks now, you've answered every single one of his calls.

His messages? Yeah, you ignore those. He's learnt this, though. He messages you regardless, because... well, because he wants to, quite frankly. He doesn't give a shit if you respond.

He knows you read them.

He knows you saw that picture he sent of a flyer detailing a live art event last week. He knows that you noticed the veins on his arms.

You don't know that he'd spent a couple of minutes tensing his arm before he took the picture. Deliberately.

It's been said before that Jungkook wants what he wants - and what he wants more than anything, frustratingly, is your attention.

The way you study his arms the next time you see him proves that he's gotten it.

If anything, the delayed gratification makes it so much more worthwhile. 

You have been thinking about him.

So as far as Jungkook is concerned, you can ignore his messages all you like, because you still always answer his calls with an airy 'hi,' as if talking to him takes your breath away.

The only time you don't answer is between the hours of eleven and two on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

Chances are, if he just so happens to be in the area - which he always is - he'll catch you down on the wrong side of the tracks at just gone quarter past two.

He still calls you 'sugar', teasing you for the reputation of the area. You just roll your eyes and grin, then banter with him about how even if you were a sugar baby, he wouldn't be able to afford your prices.

He argues that he'd pay in ways that didn't include monetary value.

You don't ask him to expand.

But as you wipe your watery lash line in the bathroom of a shitty rental apartment in Daerim, you think about what he could have meant. If he actually meant it. 

The TV blares from the living room, faint vapours of a mango e-cigarette wafting through the gap beneath the door. You've always thought mango smells like cat piss. Rancid.

Whatever Jungkook could have meant didn't matter. His flirty tone and angel eyes didn't pay the bills. The cash tossed down on the bathroom counter did - or more specifically, the widower, who occasionally wanted company from a pretty young girl, did.

A hundred thousand won for an hour, three hundred thousand total. It takes you just a week, two appointments, to make up the month's rent - but you still need to eat, to study, survive. 

And so you return, every week.

It's not his actual apartment. He lives over in Gangnam, close to his kids' schools. More money than sense. He doesn't tell you much about his personal life. You think a lot of his small claims are lies, anyway - but you smile and flutter your lashes as if he's reciting bible verses.

Some nights are better than others. Sometimes, he genuinely makes you laugh. Occasionally, he'll ask you what you want to do. Takes you to museums. Fancy dinners. Theatre shows.

But he has a nasty streak, and in those three hours, you're his. He owns you. There's no sex, that's not the arrangement, but his hands have been known to roam, and the disparity of equality within your working relationship becomes apparent. You brush it off, tell yourself that it's natural for a man engaging with you in a romantic capacity to forget the rules. You tell yourself that it's okay.

The churning in your stomach and dis-ease of such a situation tells you that no, it isn't okay. But if you laugh at his painfully unfunny jokes loud enough, you're able to drown out the noise in your head.

The worst nights are the ones where he pays you extra.

There's no discussion anymore. The stack of notes is just thicker than usual upon arrival, and you know that at some point during the night, you'll have to sit in silence and watch as he sinks his hand down into his pants.

It's easy to forget the way it looks. Your eyes glaze over, and the discomfort, the slight disgust, indicated in your features gets him hard. He thinks it's taboo. Thinks you enjoy it too. That your panties look a lot like his hand by the time he's finished.

The snort-like grunts are what you find hard to forget. The wail of a moan that comes when he does. You hear that shit in your nightmares.

But it earns you an extra two hundred thousand, so you endure it because you don't have much of an option at this point.

Come 2 AM, cash stuffed down your bra, you don't have to think about it anymore. The fresh air of the city, a little smoggy and polluted, hits you like a freight train. You thank it.

When Jungkook enters Daerim that evening, he expects to find you. He normally does. You never look particularly happy - in fact, he often tells you that you've got a face like a slapped arse - but it's more so today.

He whistles from across the street, clad in black, a thick hoodie keeping him warm beneath his leather jacket. "Oi, Sugar," he calls, that boyish grin on his lips. Teeth so pretty you wonder how much novocaine it would take for you to be numb to the way it makes your stomach flip.

Eyes dancing up and down your body, he likes what you're wearing. Black tights, black dress that cuts off at your mid-thigh, a sweetheart neckline and chiffon sleeves that puff around your slender arms. He decides your boots are far more sensible than the heels you're usually in.

"That'll be twenty thousand, Jeon," you call back, arms folded over your chest as you change direction to walk towards him.

"Per hour?"

"Per every time you call me that stupid fucking name."

"What would you rather?" he goads, leaning against a window ledge on the back of a restaurant building. There's nothing down the alleyway, just trashbags and the distinct scent of fermenting piss. "Shugs? SB? Baby?"

You smirk, walking to the wall opposite him, mirroring his position, hands resting beside you on the ledge. There's a safe distance between the pair of you. A look, but don't touch type of vibe - but this time, unlike earlier on in your evening, you actually enjoy it.

"You really gotta make your mind up," your eyes roll, lips rising into a crescent. "One minute I'm a trust-fund princess with Daddy's money on tap, the next I'm a sugar baby with a different type of Daddy altogether."

Jungkook shrugs. "Just don't see why you waste your evenings roaming fucking Daerim of all places."

"Best dandanmian in the city," you say, referencing the abundance of traditional Chinese restaurants in the area. "Can't get the authentic stuff in Itaewon."

"Can't get hookers in Itaewon like you can in Daerim, either," he taunts you.

He doesn't really think you're a hooker, but he likes the way you grin whenever your eyes roll.

"Ah, so that's why you're here."

He holds his hands up to playfully admit defeat. "Guilty."

You laugh, knowing that there's no way in hell Jungkook will ever have to resort to hookers. Not when he looks like that. All doe-eyed and charming, floppy hair just begging for a pair of hands to run through it.

The pair of you let the moment simmer, droplets of water dripping from the drainpipe and into the sewer. He's lit by the neon light of a restaurant sign, red and yellow painting him like an impressionist masterpiece.

"You look cold," he acknowledges, but you shake your head and insist you're fine. Your hair is a little damp from the small shower you'd been caught in a little while previously, mascara smudged around your eyes. You looked like that before the rain, mind you. He shakes his jacket off and tosses it across to you, snorting quietly as it hits your face and crumples over your feet. "C'mon. I'm now about to ride home. I'll give you a lift."

He asks for your address, and you tell him that you'll just get a taxi from his place like you normally do. There's no need for him to go out of his way.

"The princess doesn't want the pauper to see her castle, huh?" he teases, always talking in bloody riddles.

"See!" you protest. "Always changing your mind! A minute ago I was a sugar baby, and now I'm a rich bitch again. Which is it, Jeon?"

"I dunno," he reaches behind himself, adjusting your legs and pulling you a little closer into his back, tapping your side to make sure you've got the jacket on. "You tell me, sugar."

He doesn't see you roll your eyes, but he knows you do it. You always do. Even when your pretty pink nails are clutching the fabric of his shirt, you pretend like you don't enjoy his company.

You've gotten good at playing pretend. 

Jungkook only jokes about you being a sugar baby.

He doesn't fathom that you actually are one.

His engine begins to purr, and Jungkook kicks up the stand, setting off into the night.

The way you hold onto his waist is different tonight.

Physically, it's the same.

But it feels different.

And it is, because you're not just holding onto him; you're hugging him. Comfort in an old routine. You adjust your arms, keeping tight against his back, and he pretends like he doesn't notice the shift in dynamic.

He pretends as if he didn't notice your sad eyes earlier, too, and as if he can't feel the stutter in your chest as if you're trying not to cry.

Jungkook isn't a knight on a white horse, and nor does he want to be - but he doesn't mind being your rogue bandit who steals you away from the things that make you sad.

He's just an arc in your fairytale, not your happy ending.

But you've always been a sucker for a bit of a plot twist.

When you arrive at his, he wants to ask you to stay. He doesn't want an orange taxi cab to appear at the end of his lane and act like your actual knight in shining armour. He doesn't want you to ride into the sunrise with anyone but him.

And as luck would have it, your phone shares his desires.

Well, no. It doesn't. It's a mobile phone. It doesn't have cognitive thoughts - but it is out of charge.

"Different charging ports," he grits his teeth as he holds up his Samsung after you ask if he's got an iPhone charger. "I'm pretty sure I have an apple cable lying about though. You can come in for a second, get a little bit of charge just so that you're not stranded in a taxi without a way to contact anyone."

You nod appreciatively. "You sure?"

He doesn't answer, instead holding his door open and ushering you inside.

Jungkook cares in strange ways. He's practical, forward-thinking, trying to find solutions to problems that you'd normally shrug your shoulders at.

He's never told anyone that he loves them before, but he did once swap the hinges on his ex-girlfriend's bathroom door to the other side, so that it would stop hitting the sink basin every time she opened it. He shows his affections in meaningful ways, often without being asked or expecting anything in return.

Neither of you realise it yet, but this is one of those occasions.

It's not until you're perched on the worktop bench in his kitchen that he realises he let you in without hesitation. No longer embarrassed of where he lived, he kind of likes having you here.

You look out of place, silver pendant round your neck, expensive, and hair professionally coloured, nails done, toes, too. Not that he can see them. He just remembers a conversation you had once over chicken and a beer about the fact your toes always matched your nails.

Small details like that are what he thinks about when he's alone; like the way you blink a little faster when you're confused, and how you sprinkle Cheeto dust back into the bag off of your fingers instead of licking them like he does. He thinks about the way you laugh in his company, and how he's never heard you laugh like that with anyone else. And he tries to stop, but dammit, he thinks about how sexed up you look on those Daerim nights.

You're dressing like that for someone else, he knows that much.

But he gets to indulge in it too, when your body is pressed against his back as he takes you home.

He's stopped asking what you do in Daerim. He doesn't want to know.

For a few minutes a night, when he's alone, he likes to pretend what it would be like if he was the one you were dressed like that for. Only ever a minute or so. Gets him too hot. Finishes him off too quickly. Absolute sin.

"Kook?"

He doesn't even realise he's halted his movements until your voice breaks him from his thoughts. His jeans tonight are tight, and do a pretty good job of hiding the swelling between his legs. Fucking uncomfortable, though.

"Sorry," he doesn't turn to face you. "Was just trying to remember where I last had the cable."

"I was just saying that it's fine. It's really not that far. Don't wanna be a bother."

"Why'd you say shit like that?" he turns to face you, face twisted a little. He's annoyed.

"Like what?"

"Call yourself a bother. You do it a lot."

"I don't."

"You do," he insists, and you can't work out why he's so annoyed by it. You want to apologise all over again. "You just-" he takes a moment to find the right words. "I dunno who's conditioned you into thinking everything you do is bothersome, but it really isn't. If I didn't wanna help, then I wouldn't. It's not a bother. You're not a bother."

And you don't know why, but for some reason, you choke up a little. It's not like he said anything particularly groundbreaking, it's just for the last few months, your entire existence has felt like a drain on those around you.

The money you can live without, but you miss family dinners on Sundays, and face timing your little sister, more than you can even begin to explain.

And while no, you didn't want your parents' money, you didn't want to keep seeing a perverted old man just to be able to afford to eat, either. The flat rate was 500,000 now. Every single time. Without fail. You hadn't put the price up. He was just always paying extra. Always touching his prick. Always jerking himself off over your repulsion.

Earlier that evening, he had queried how much it would cost him to finish on your chest. You told him a million. He asked if you accepted bank transfers. You told him no. He offered 1.2 mil.

Part of you considered it. It's a lot of money. Not something to be taken lightly.

But when you ran into Jungkook, just like you knew you would, you were adamant you had made the right choice. He had scanned your body, getting a read on your mood, assessing what you needed, what you wanted, and then had offered up his jacket. All doe-eyed and sparkling. You finally got what all the girls swooned over, 'cause you were doing it too.

"Hey," he says softly, noticing the way your eyes are reddening. "Hey, hey, no. Don't cry, sugar."

You laugh through the first couple of tears. Stupid fucking nickname.

"I meant it," you sniff, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands. He's standing closer now, hesitant to touch, hands hovering around you. "20 thousand won, Jeon. Pay up."

His fingers tenderly wrap around your wrists, keeping them from rubbing at your face again. He's smiling, eyes ever encompassing, cheeks so appled that you bet you could get drunk off the cider he'd produce.

"Can we do it on an I.O.U. basis?" he speaks quietly, playfully. "I get paid on Monday."

It's a lie. He gets his commission cut straight from his sales figures. There's 2 million won in his rucksack. He only gets ten percent. 200K. His job's not nearly half as lucrative as yours, but it's still nothing to be laughed at. He's making bank.

"Nuh-uh," you sniff again, letting out a little laugh. He laughs too. "Told you that you couldn't afford me."

And then it's silent. You can hear your heartbeat. He moves a little closer.

"Told you I'd just pay in other ways."

His voice is hoarse, as if he's scared. 

As if he fears the consequences of his claim.

Your eyes drop to his lips. They're trembling slightly. Preparing.

The grip he has on your wrists loosens. He's giving you freedom. He's giving you the chance to back out, to run away.

But you don't.

"Pay up, then," you all-but whisper, lips closing on his.

Jungkook doesn't stall, no, but it takes him a second to respond. To realise.

And once he does, his brows furrow into the kiss, demanding that you know just how much he wants this. Wants you. Has done for weeks, now.

He pulls your body into his, needing you close. Your body curves, his arm hooked behind your back to keep you balanced.

A surge of intensity washes over you like crimson paint. It'll stain you, and everyone will know: That's her. That's the girl who let Jeon Jungkook kiss her like he actually meant it.

He kisses, and he kisses, and he kisses, and he doesn't stop, as if he knows his first with you will also be his last - and when he finally does stop, forehead on yours, the pair of you are breathing so heavily into each other's mouths that it's as if you're sharing oxygen. Keeping each other alive. Both capable of first-degree murder.

And so neither of you pull away. There's no way he's doing time for you. There's no way you're doing time for him. Looks like you'll just have to kiss forever. Shame. Such a hardship. However will you cope?

"I-" he begins, before cutting himself off, easing his grip on your waist. One of his hands lingers, while the other pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes wincing. "Shit-" he finally lets you go. "I don't know what that was. I'm sorry."

You want to tell him that it's okay, that you didn't mind, that he could do it again - but it's clear he doesn't agree.

"Just adrenaline," you offer, sinking down to perch on the worktop bench. Your defeated posture is hidden well like this. "Don't sweat it."

He stays silent as he turns around to resume his rummaging, looking for a charger that will fit your phone. He knows there's one in there, he just can't for the life of him remember when he last had it.

Everything feels a little awkward. You half think that you should fill the void with something, that you should break the ice, but what was the point? You'll be out of his hair soon.

And you are, home twenty minutes later. You had only charged your phone for ten minutes at his, just enough to get you home. It's about to die again. Not before Jungkook pings you a message, though.

He doesn't expect a response, but he lies awake until he sees your read receipt confirm that you've seen it.

Sadness doesn't suit you, sugar. I'm not gonna pry, but if you ever need a ride earlier than normal out of Daerim, give me a call.

He spent a good six minutes debating whether or not to end his message with a kiss, eventually deciding against it. No need to make the message any softer than it already was.

To his surprise, a bubble pops up on your side of the chat thread.

His heart twinges, your response saying everything he wished he had with just one simple letter:

x

JUNGKOOK HAS A terrible habit of taking out his stress on the people around him; the ones that he holds closest.

"I just don't see why it's such a big issue," Jimin says through a mouthful of salad greens. His teeth chomp so loudly that Jungkook thinks they'll have to swing by the dentistry labs later that afternoon. Which Jimin'll probably like, considering he won't stop fucking rambling on about a dentistry student at the moment. "She's hot, she's got guys practically falling at her feet and she's interested in you. It's one party. Stop being so fucking boring."

Yoongi casts Jungkook a sympathetic look. He doesn't work so much at the moment, what with his chemistry finals coming up, and especially not in the Daerim area.

That's Jungkook's market now - but he did happen to have a drop-off for a last-minute order a couple of weeks back.  Territory isn't an issue between the friends, with Jungkook respecting Yoongi far too much to ever tell him to back off, or to not take deals in that area.

He had been about to approach Jungkook that night, when he noticed you crossing the street, a smile plastered on your face. He couldn't see Jungkook's face from the angle he was at, but he could see how raised his cheeks were. And so he left the pair of you to it, knowing better than to stick his nose where it wasn't wanted.

Unlike Jimin, apparently.

"Not boring," Jungkook retorts, tossing the wrapper his chopsticks came in at Jimin's face. "Got a bunch of assignments due in."

"Dude, you've been MIA for weeks. If we didn't have classes together, I'd have sent out a search party by now."

"You're being dramatic."

"You're being boring."

"Kids, settle down," Yoongi interjects, and wonders why he doesn't just find friends his own age. Logistics, he decides. The perils of having to save up for university before he could actually attend.

Jimin, being Jimin, then proceeds to bicker with Yoongi, leaving Jungkook free to find your face amongst the canteen crowd. You're sat with friends, none of whom he's ever met.

Your hair is up, like it always is during school, but you've let your grown out bangs frame your face. Pretty, he thinks. Prettiest girl here.

But then you stand up, and Jungkook turns caveman. Head empty. No thoughts. Just nonsense. Jesus Christ. Who gave you the right? God damn.

A few months ago, he would have looked at you in that outfit - a silky sage green playsuit over a white tee, sunglasses resting on your head like an alice band and a pair of white converse on your feet - and he probably would have scoffed. Wouldda said some bullshit about the fact you're dressed like a child, or that the weather isn't good enough to warrant such an outfit.

A few months ago, he was a fucking idiot.

You feel his gaze on you, just like you always do.

And you ignore it.

You've been getting good at that. Pretending as if you don't feel his eyes. As if you're unaffected, unbothered by the simplest form of intimacy: a single look.

He knows you've been keeping your distance. Watching from afar is all he can do when you slink out of class before he can catch your attention. He tells himself that he doesn't care.

Jungkook mutes the audio track of the editing software he uses when he stitches together your footage, so he doesn't have to relive your conversations or hear you laugh, or worse, hear himself laugh.

It's all a bit nauseating.

Maybe a party would actually be a good distraction.

"Tonight, did you say?" Jungkook pipes up out of nowhere, only dragging his eyes away from you when he sees you pull your phone out to send a text. 

He pouts. You never text him. Not once since last Thursday. 

And you were nowhere to be seen on Tuesday.

He had called you, and for once, you didn't pick up. He didn't try again. Decided that it was on you just as much as it was on him.

That being said, he didn't get home till four in the morning, two and half hours after his last deal. Spaffed away an entire tank of petrol. Rode in fucking circles. Just in case.

"Now we're talking!" Jimin grins. "Tonight. It's her birthday, she's rented a bar in Itaewon - Dad knows the landlord or something."

Jungkook didn't know who 'she' was. Hadn't been listening to that part of the conversation.

"Well, you kids enjoy yourselves," Yoongi sighs as he gets to his feet. "Can't risk my finals over a few crappy drinks in a shitty bar."

"Oh boo-hoo!" Jimin pouts. "Spoilsport."

When Jungkook enters the bar that evening, he's greeted with everything he expects. E-cigarette vapours cloud the air, a cocktail of flavours violating his senses as he heads to the bar, shitty EDM pumping through the speakers. It's been a while since he let his hair down, so to speak.

There's something about him that commands attention. People gravitate towards him, even through the smoke clouds and sweaty bodies. Girls buy him drinks. Guys buy him drinks, too. Anything just to spend time in his presence. Like leeches, they hope to share some of Jungkook's aura.

It's impossible, though. It's Jungkook's authenticity that gives him such charisma. Trying to emulate it only ever comes off as tacky - like the guy towards the back of the room who's permed his hair to look like Jungkook's. Pierced his eyebrow, too. Looks like shit. Jungkook doesn't want to judge him, but he's a few drinks deep, and being kind is what got him into that mess with you in the first place.

No good ever comes from being nice.

He takes a shot. Tequila. Chases it down with lemonade. The girl next to him is playing with the bracelets on his wrist. Her nails scratch a little bit, and he quite likes it, so he doesn't resist when pulls him onto the dancefloor. He observes the way she moves first, and isn't disappointed. She knows how to move her hips, and seems to like it when he puts his hands on them. He can't really feel the sensation when she kisses him. The alcohol has numbed his lips. Maybe Jimin was right to force him into this.

By the time he goes to the bar for another drink, he's faded. Off his tits. Helped himself to some of Hobi's stash that he was supposed to be distributing that evening. A little bit of coke never does him any harm. He knows his limits. Tastes like shit down the back of his throat, but he kind of enjoys it.

At first, he thinks he must be seeing things when he catches you with an espresso martini in hand, laughing with people he doesn't know.

You've this whole life that he's no part of. A whole entire world. He really is an outsider looking in.

You're one of the elite; an old-money heiress. The type to own a miniature dog breed and only fly business class. It was stupid of him to think your interest in him had been anything more than entertainment. A 'little bit of rough.' Excitement away from the confines of the life he's sure your parents must have planned out for you.

It might just be because he's coked up, but he doesn't care about any of that. 

All he can think about is the fact he's pretty sure you've never looked more beautiful.

He feels so lost looking at you like this, as if he needs to be closer, for fear of losing sight of you entirely.

And so he sits beside you at the bar, orders his drink, waits for you to notice him. Which you do.

You'd spotted him the very second you walked into the bar, his hands all over some girl you don't know.

In all fairness, you didn't realise he would be there. Sohyun, the girl whose birthday it was and an old friend from high school, has been fawning over Jungkook for months. Just superficial drawling, comments about his thighs and the fact she'd quite like to be suffocated by them. Harmless, really. You know she's never actually made a move.

Sohyun doesn't know you're working on a project together. You avoid the topic of him altogether, especially with her.

But she does notice the way Jungkook is looking at you like he's seen a ghost; haunted and comforted all in the same expression.

"You're here," he finally says, and it feels as if your chest is about to cave in.

Turning to face him, you're casual in your posture. Unbothered. Completely unaffected by him, and the lipstick that's painting those lips of his that you like so much.

You raise your thumb and swipe it across his bottom lip. He's silent as you do so, watching you, holding his breath. His lip moves like rubber beneath your touch, soft and supple, springing back into position once you release it.

You raise your thumb to study the lipstick you've collected from him. "Plum's really not your colour, Jungkook."

He doesn't say anything, a little transfixed. It's barely ticked past midnight. You should be in Daerim.

In all fairness, so should he. Hobi had some choice words for Jungkook when he told him that he wasn't working that evening at such short notice.

You swipe open your phone and repeat the step, filming your thumb as Jungkook becomes captive to your touch. You want to look, to see how wide his dark eyes are, but you're too busy feigning disinterest.

"There," you smile, forwarding the video along before you lock your phone. "Just sent you a video of how I see the city tonight."

You've no right to be annoyed. You know that.

Jungkook can be in a bar with another girl's lipstick on his chin if wants to be. He can stay out all night, and he can stay in beds that aren't his. It's his prerogative.

But you are annoyed.

It's irrational, and pathetic, and you shouldn't be.

You barely know him. Not really.

After you'd shown him your favourite tree at the Design Plaza a few weeks ago, he'd insisted on taking you across town to Garosugil, a street in Gangnam lined with beautiful tall trees. He questioned why you only had one favourite tree, when you could have had an entire row of them instead.

At the time, you'd enjoyed the way his eyes looked beneath the lights of the designer stores that neither of you could afford. You didn't question what he had meant.

It seems like you found your answer.

"I'm not the city," he eventually says.

And he's right.

He's not the city.

Fuck it, no, he's not the city, but his eyes sparkle like Itaewon on Friday nights, and his hands are strong like the World Cup Bridge. He's not the city, but you find it so easy to get lost in him without a map, and sometimes wearing his leather jacket makes you feel like you're eating comfort food at your favourite breakfast bar over in Myeong-dong. He's not the city.

He's not the goddamn city.

But it feels a little like you'd accidentally anchored your navigation pin in him regardless.

All you do is smile, and tell him that he's right.

"Look," he begins, and you can smell the spiced rum on his breath.

"It's okay," you interrupt. Who are you to make him feel guilty for his promiscuous encounters?

He doesn't know what you do in the dark. Not really. If he did, he probably wouldn't have kissed you last week.

"No, I-" he cuts himself off like he always does when he doesn't wanna fuck up his words. The alcohol is doing him absolutely zero favours. "I dunno, sugar."

Your smile is sad, and he hates himself. You lean forward, press a kiss into his rosy cheek and whisper, "That'll be 20,000, Jeon."

And because he's drunk, and he wants to make things better, he reaches for his wallet. You were about to walk away regardless, but damn, if the boy doesn't know how to hit you where it hurts.

"Really, Kook?"

It's like he doesn't know you at all; doesn't remember how you banter with him, how you flirt with him. Or maybe you were just stupid for thinking that you'd been flirting with him in the first place. Maybe he just speaks to everyone how he speaks to you. Must have spoken to whoever was wearing that lipstick in the same way.

He doesn't answer, not verbally, but his brows pinch together and his lips develop a frowning pout.

When he stumbles home that evening, he asks himself the same question: really, Kook?

In the morning, he wakes alone, with no recollection of how he got home. 

He doesn't remember the girl from the bar, or the fact that Jimin threw up in a fish tank, or that they're now barred from three different establishments for encouraging people to snort fish food (which Jungkook had stolen while Jimin was emptying his stomach). Regretfully, he doesn't even remember your arrival at the first bar. Doesn't remember how, for once, you'd dressed to impress just him.

His lack of recollection means fuck all though, 'cause despite his headache, the thing weighing down most heavily on him is guilt. He feels a sense of duty when it comes to you; duty that he hasn't performed lately. Were you getting home safe? Getting harrassed by scummy fuckers on the Daerim path of destruction?

Out of habit, he checks his phone, ignores the messages from unknown numbers and goes straight to your message thread to check the damage. He's surprised to find that he didn't drunk text you, but even more surprised to find that you'd messaged him. It's a video, just a few seconds, but it's enough to provoke some of his memories back.

He watches your thumb as it glides across his bottom lip. Watches it again. Notices the lipstick. Notices the thumb ring he never realised you wore before, and the fact that your nails are black now instead of their usual pink. There's something erotic about it; the way you touch him. The way you filmed yourself touching him. He'll probably get in trouble for it, but there's no way he isn't adding that to your project.

You consider ignoring his call when your phone flashes with his caller I.D.

It's only just gone seven, and you're still in bed, still try to make heads or tails of your life.

But you're weak, and so you slide your thumb across the little green icon.

"Hey."

"Uh, hey."

"You good?"

"So hungover, I think I might die," Jungkook jokes, voice hoarse. You wonder if he always sounds like this in the morning. "Just wanted to check in with you though. Barely seen you all week, and then I end up with a weird-ass video in our message thread that I don't remember."

Ah. You cringe.

"Ran into you at the bar," you shrug, not that he can see you. "Didn't realise you were friends with Sohyun."

"Hmm?"

"Sohyun... the girl who's birthday it was?"

"Oh. Right. Yeah. Nah, no, not really friends with her. Jimin forced me along."

You don't know all that much about Jimin, but from your limited interactions with him, it doesn't surprise you. Not in the slightest.

"Good night?"

Your question sounds forced and awkward, and he doesn't quite understand why.

"No idea," he admits honestly. "Remember fuck all."

He sounds as if he wants to keep talking but doesn't know what to say.

You don't know what to say either.

It's a mess. You liked it better when he hated you.

"Were you at the bar for long?" He asks, genuinely curious. "You're normally busy on Thursdays?"

"Just a drink. Had a last-minute change of plans."

"Oh?"

"Yeah..."

You know he wants you to elaborate. He wants more without having to explicitly ask for it.

Which is apt. Seems like it's a common occurrence with Jungkook.

"So what did you call for?" you change the topic, not wanting to dwell. The aversion doesn't go unnoticed by him, but it does go unquestioned.

"I-" there he goes again, cutting himself off prematurely. Coward. "Are you free? Now?"

Oh.

Not a coward. Just cautious.

"Now? I mean, yeah, I guess."

Jungkook takes a second, and then he bites down on the grenade pin.

"Can you come over?"

THE WAY YOU keep Jungkook hanging on tenterhooks is deliberate.

You're unsure of him, of his motivations, and what he does in the dark. And so, while you want to let your guard down, you can't. It's probably something to do with your parents - the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally - making their love entirely conditional and withdrawing it so suddenly.

It's the kind of shit you would have spoken about with your therapist, but you can't afford her anymore.

Can't afford much of anything, anymore. So much of the money you've earnt recently is tied up in credit card debt or rent.

Foundation was the first luxury that you'd compromised, and you're still yet to buy any more. Cheap stuff always makes you break out, and thankfully your parents did give you decent genetics, at least, so your skin was pretty clear.

It's the lack of make up that suggests to Jungkook you're opening up; not hiding from him anymore.

But it's also what tells him something is incredibly wrong, when you show up at his door half an hour later with a graze beneath your eye. Little flecks of reddened skin creep up your cheekbone, and Jungkook thinks it almost looks like carpet burn.

He hadn't noticed it last night, but it was dark, and he was drunk.

He lets you in, takes your jacket, offers you a drink. Everything that he knows he should do. Asks how you are, keeps a safe distance.

You don't know why you're here. Why you didn't say you were busy.

Except you do. 

It's cause you miss him whenever you're away from him.

"I like these," you smile as you look at the artwork he has up in his room. The studio space is small, cramped, like all semi-basements are, but it's distinctly 'his'. A lot different to yours. Everything you own is still in boxes, not yet unpacked. 

You've refused to come to terms with that being your life now.

"Thanks," he nods, watching you as you explore the box of a room he calls home. "They're from a guy down by the coach station. Has a little stall."

"You'll have to show me," you muse, turning to smile at him. It's saccharine, but the graze on your face is just so bitter. He hates it. Hates that he doesn't know how you got it. "Think I'd like some for my place."

"I have a feeling they'd look a little out of place in a princess tower, sugar."

Your shoulders shake as you laugh quietly, not correcting him. He doesn't need to know that you're a basement dweller, too.

"How's the editing coming along?" You steer the question away from your living situation.

"Nearly there," he grins, brimming with quiet excitement. Something about the way your camerawork looks with his editing technique layered on top just really works. He's always been confident with his final projects, and this one scares him a little bit, but in a good way. It's his best yet. Maybe he did need you after all.

"Can I see?"

"Not yet."

"Kook," you say, and - oh god - you're pouting. Jungkook suddenly begins to feel nervous.

It's that scary feeling again. A fear of the good stuff. Trepidation.

"What?" he grins, walking a little closer to you, letting his hand stroke against your back as he sits down on his bed. His fingers catch yours. It's fleeting, but enough.

You both feel it.

"Such a tease," you say, talking about the project, but there's innuendo in your words, too.

"Some girls like it," he flirts back.

"The girl at the bar last night seemed to like it."

Jungkook rolls his eyes, boyish and charming. It's annoying, you think, how impossible it is to be mad at him. It's not because you're weak, or because you can't resist his charms, but because he has a way of playing things off as if they're no big deal.

The girl at the bar? A nobody, his shrug suggests. She doesn't matter.

And it's so easy to believe, because you're the one in his apartment. You're the one he wanted here, the one that he missed. Or at least, the one that he was thinking of when he decided that he could do with some company.

It might be nothing, just something to pass the time, but it makes you feel wanted. Desired. Needed.

So you accept his hand when he reaches out towards you, pulling you closer, positioning you between his spread legs. You're standing, his eyes level with your chest, unashamed as he looks at your body.

"You look warm," he husks.

Just like he always uses your body temperature as excuse to give you his jacket, he's using it as an excuse now, too. The desired effect is obvious.

His AC switchboard is on the wall behind his bed. You'd clocked it when you were walking around, observing his possessions. Yanmar, the branding reads, the plastic outer frame beige. Once, it would have been crisp white. Age has dulled it. The monochrome monitor has a clock symbol in the corner, an indicator that Jungkook has his AC set on a timer. It suggests a sense of permanence. This is his home.

You haven't set your timer yet. You just flick it on when you get hot. It isn't your home.

He watches you as you move, curious. He's smirking, because he just cant help himself. 

And because he knows that you like it whenever he does. Gets you a little bit flustered.

One of your knees hooks over his lap, and then the other follows suit.

He'd have said you were straddling him. You'd have argued that you were simply reaching over to the AC.

And you do exactly that, flicking the switch, watching as it lights up. "There. Much better."

Touche, he thinks. Smiles. Grips your thighs, as if he's scared you'll stand up again. Scared to lose you.

In all honesty, he had been hoping you'd take your shirt off, but he isn't going to complain with you in his lap, instead.

Doesn't matter if you mix the eggs with the milk first, or the flour. You still bake a cake at the end of it all.

Jungkook looks at you in such a way that you find yourself thinking maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so horrible to let someone in. His eyes are honest, void of ulterior motives. He's doing this because he wants to. Because he wants you.

Wants that feeling back. The one where his lips are cushioned between yours, his tongue licking into your mouth.

Jungkook wants what he wants. Jungkook gets what he wants.

And, fuck, if it isn't bare minimum - but you know this, and you don't care. Bare minimum tastes pretty fucking good when you're licking it from his lips.

His hands roam, and you let them. He's rough with his movements, but the fleshy pads of his fingertips are soft, like silk against your skin. It's almost like he's afraid, filled with the knowledge that he can bruise, if he really wants to.

But he doesn't want to. He wants to ask about the graze that's sitting pretty where blush should be. Jungkook doesn't wanna hurt. He wants to heal.

"I catch you looking, you know," you tell him before he gets a chance, wanting to see how he responds. "Every now and again..." He hikes you forward in his lap. Places you dead centre over his cock. You can feel it. He can feel you. "...I catch you looking at me." He presses a kiss against the base of your neck, obsessed with the way it vibrates when you speak. "Why are you always looking at me?"

The fact that you're sat in his lap, grinding your hips against a solid bulge, should be indication enough.

Jungkook isn't going to spell it out for you. The eroticism of suggesting he's a fucking voyeur makes him want to laugh - but the way your nipples are tenting the shirt you're wearing distracts him.

His teeth graze your throat, hands creeping round to your tummy. His fingers are long, practically the length of the expanse between your hips and the underneath of your plump tits. Just a little further and he'd be holding them, cupping them, caressing. Just a little further.

"I look at you-" His hands continue their exploration as he leans back, watching the movement beneath your shirt. It somehow feels forbidden - like he can touch, but not look. After all, your question had sounded quite a lot like a telling off. "-because you like me looking at you."

He's fucking with you, trying to get a rise.

"Do I?"

The way that you whimper as he brushes against your nipples has him pulsing his hips. Your eyes close, head tilting back ever so slightly. You like this. The way he does it.

"Uh-huh," he mumbles, lips wet against your neck. His fingers knead into the flesh of your tits, nipples hard in his palm as he relieves his stresses. "Bet you think about it all day, don't you? Think about the way I look at you when no-one else does."

Yes.

"All day?" you smirk between dulcet moans. "You're lucky if I pay you any attention at all."

"I think you're lying," he declares rather boldly, hands all over you. "I think it plays on your mind. I bet you fall asleep thinking about it, don't you?"

Yes.

"Ddaeng."

"I bet you get yourself off thinking about it."

Maybe you do. 

Maybe you've whispered his name in the dead of night, imagining how it would feel to have his body weight on top of yours. Maybe you get intrusive thoughts of that kiss every single time you try to draw close. Maybe Jungkook has made you cum without ever laying a single finger on you.

But even if he has, you won't tell him.

And you don't need to, because his phone buzzing on the bedside table behind you cuts the conversation dry. Jungkook glances towards it automatically, then back up to you. His frustration is evident, jaw tense.

"I gotta get this," he mumbles, encouraging you off of his lap. You don't resist, accepting the last five minutes for what they were: a momentary lapse in judgement. He sighs as he stands, adjusting his trousers, swiping his phone and putting it to his ear. He strolls just far enough away that you won't hear what or who is on the other line. "Hobi. Speak to me."

Hobi, you muse. A friend? A colleague? Another girl?

You swallow back the nauseating feeling in your throat, pretending as if the prospect of Jungkook with someone else doesn't chip away at your self-worth a little bit. It wasn't like you thought you had anything special between the pair of you.

But he was right. You did like him looking at you.

More than you had realised until the prospect of him looking at someone else arose.

From the corner of the room, you could hear Jungkook trying to interrupt the person he was talking to. The first syllable would escape, and then he'd hush again, never quite managing to get the words out in full.

"Ho-" His nostrils look quite cute when they flare, lips pursed, a pair of unique dimples becoming evident. They're different to the usual ones you notice. Full of surprises was Jeon Jungkook. 

"Hobi, can I-" 

He runs his hand through his hair, already dishevelled from your hands. 

"Hobi will you let me fucking talk!"

Attaboy.

The pause that follows Jungkook's outburst would suggest that Hobi had said 'no' - and then a few more choice words. If Jungkook rolled his eyes back any further, they'd surely get stuck.

"Look, I'm a bit tied up right now- no! No, not that. Who? No. I don't know a Taehyung, and even if I did- Huh? Ain't got nothin' to do with Holangi. Don't know a single one of 'em." 

You try to decipher the conversation, but fail. 

"You're a real fuckin' cockblock, yanno?" 

You blush. 

"Fuck it, fine. But you owe me. I'm not saying yes next time."

He glances over to you, catching your raised brow. Next time?

A smile catches on his lips. You thought this would be a one time thing?

He's barely hit second base. If there's one thing you're yet to find out about Jungkook, it's that he loves to win. He won't be satisfied until he's got a home run.

Any other girl, and he'd have probably been running laps for fun by this point, but you... yeah, you didn't bowl him easy hitters, that was for sure.

Jungkook moves with confidence, like he always does, as he strides over to the sofa, the bulge in his pants considerably softened but still present. "Take a picture," he grins. "It'll last longer."

You roll your eyes, but it doesn't stop you from asking if that's an offer. He laughs - that soft, gentle thrum of his vocal chords that sounds so heavenly in your ears - and tells you to behave.

"I just gotta help a friend out," he says as he reaches over you to grab his rucksack. It's heavier now than it ever is at school, the jingle of crushed tin foil rustling as it briefly catches on your knee. He pretends not to notice the curiosity in your eyes. Pretty eyes, though. He quite likes them, especially when he's towering above you and can see the whites just above your lashline. Yeah, he likes them alot. "I'll only be an hour or so. You can stay here, if you like?"

The way he phrases it is so casual that it's almost like you're old friends.

That, or Jungkook's just used to having women he doesn't know very well stay at his place.

You're unaware of the mental gymnastics he's putting himself through. If he could kick himself without looking like a twat, then he definitely would.

Shrugging, you give him a polite smile. "I don't wanna overstay my welcome."

"Nah, you're fine. I can give you a lift back to yours when I'm home? I'll be an hour. Two, tops."

Finally you agree, watching as he leaves like a lovesick puppy, listening out for the familiar rattle of his exhaust pipe. There's a cough and splutter of petrol spitting onto the sidewalk as his motor roars into action, and then he's gone.

You don't hang around for much longer.

You tell yourself that you will. That it would be nice. That you and Jungkook might not be so ill-suited after all.

But as the clock ticks by on the wall, you find yourself getting antsy. You find yourself asking stupid questions. Who exactly is Hobi? What was in Jungkook's bag? Why is he always down in Daerim? Is that where he's gone now?

The thoughts grow, adapt, intrude. Before you know it, you're considering what you'd find if you opened the top drawer of his bedside cabinet. 

Realistically, you know it would probably be a wank sock and a tub of vaseline - it doesn't matter though. Your mind is wondering. You need to scratch the itch.

Just a little peek. He'll never know.

Oh, how you loathe your brain.

What's the worst you could find? A revolver? His ex-girlfriends panties? Love letters? A crack pipe?

Somehow, you'd rather find a pipe than panties. 

It's not that you want Jungkook to be a crack addict. It's just the more that you think about it, the more you come to realise that you really, really don't like the idea of someone else feeling how warm his torso is, or how his upper teeth always nip slightly when he starts kissing you, until the pressure of his pecks plump his lips. You've only experienced it a handful of times, and it's stupid to get carried away, but he just makes it so easy.

He didn't ask you to stay, you tell yourself. He asked you if you wanted to.

Moments of instability like this are exactly why girls like you don't spend time with boys like him. It's stupid. Futile. A game for fools.

You leave his apartment as you found it, with not even a note to say thank you. He's had a squeeze on your tits. You deem that thank you enough. If anything, he should be thanking you.

When he returns, just half an hour after your departure, he can still smell your perfume. He tosses his keys down, calls out your name, and is met with silence. It takes him a moment or so to realise that he's alone.

There's a sinking feeling in his chest that he doesn't recognise. Doesn't like. Hates, in fact.

But fine. Fuck it. He didn't want you there anyway. He'd just been doing a good deed. Being kind because - if your face was any indication - obviously someone else had been particularly unkind to you.

Jungkook thinks he knows who, now.

Daerim nights have always been sketchy, but the days are no better. 

He's just the lowest rung on a long ladder of criminals who turn a profit when the sun goes down in Seoul.

Hobi had asked him to drop the stash in his rucksack off at a club, some gang-run joint that Jungkook doesn't know much about, so that he could get them back to his boss. 

That had been the plan, at least.

He slings his bag down, now empty, and sinks into the sofa, not bothering to get a rag to clean himself up. No point. The dried blood will just wash off in his shower. It's not the first time this has happened. He doubts it will be the last.

Jungkook's nose is currently bleeding, dripping down his chin and hitting the ceramic tiles of his apartment with small slaps. A bruise is forming above his left eye socket, and his knuckles are red.

A punch to the face means very little to Jungkook.

He's young, but he's strong. Fast, too. It could have been a lot worse if he wasn't.

He pushes the back of his hand against his nose, sniffing, before unlocking his phone, and dialing a number he knows now by heart.

The dial tone bleeds out, just like his nose.

And so he hangs up, and calls the only person he knows he can rely on.

"Wassup, kid?"

Jungkook doesn't mean to sob, but he cant help it. He knows Yoongi has finals coming up. He doesn't need his bullshit on his plate, too.

"I got jumped Yoongs."

Fuck.

"You alright? Sound pretty bad? Where?"

"Daerim-"

"The fuck you doing there at this time of day?"

"Hobi wanted me to drop off my stash."

"Kook..." Yoongi speaks slowly, coming to a horrific realisation. A few punches had never bothered Jungkook before. Something bigger was at play. "The stash...?"

Jungkook can hear it in Yoongi's voice: fear.

"Gone."

Yoongi sighs down the line. "Hobi know yet?"

"No."

"Alright, get outta your flat," Yoongi begins, not wasting time. Now is not the time for emotions, and it's clear that Jungkook isn't capable of that just yet. "I need you to go somewhere safe, somewhere you can lie-low for a little bit alright? Let me sort it-"

"Yoong-"

"Let me sort it. I got you into this mess. Don't sweat it."

"Ple-"

"Kook. Seriously. Trust me with this."

Yoongi doesn't let him debate it any further - and it's just as well he doesn't, because as soon as he hangs up the phone, another call comes through. Jungkook wants to answer it. Really, he does.

Jungkook's just very aware of the fact that the guy who jumped him had almost been waiting for him. Right by the entrance of the apartment block which he always picked you up from. 

In between blows, he'd warned Jungkook to 'stay the fuck away from the girl'.

The girl who's now returning his call.

"Hey," you say animatedly, having not expected him to call. You thought the pair of you would resume your usual awkward routine of pretending like nothing ever happened. "Sorry, I was in the shower. You good? Sorry I left, I just did-"

"I need a favour," he doesn't bother with formalities.

You want to banter with him, to flirt, but the tone of his voice warns you not to. So instead you tell him that you'll do whatever he needs.

"Can I come over?"

Fuck. Anything except that.

"Please."

YOU DON'T EXPECT to say yes. You don't expect to care more about him than you do about protecting your own dignity. You don't expect Jungkook to traipse down the stairs that lead to your slovenly open door with a glum look on his bloodsoaked face, as you stand there waiting for him.

But he does.

He makes no comment, no remark about the building. Just wraps his arms around your head, cradling you against his chest as you stand in your doorway. You can hear his heartbeat, thud, thud, thud against his ribs.

Go somewhere safe, Yoongi had told him. It was a no brainer.

"I'm sorry," he says, eventually pulling himself away from you. "I didn't know who else to ask."

You tell him it's fine, and you mean it. Keeping up pretences doesn't really matter so much anymore. Perhaps honesty was overdue from the both of you.

"The fuck happened to you?" You ask, tenderly reaching up to stroke away some of the dried blood from his lip. He winces, hisses, body tense, but he lets you continue. "Sorry."

"Could ask you the same, sugar," he speaks kindly, not wanting you to think he's being critical as he nods to the entryway behind you.

You grit your teeth together and let your hand rest on his shoulder. "King kicked the princess out of the castle."

And, suddenly, it doesn't seem embarrassing anymore. In fact, it seems perfectly apt that Jungkook knows. He doesn't pry, don't push for further clarification. Just nods. Accepts your reality.

"Castles are overrated, anyway," he presses a kiss to your head, and gently guides you through the threshold. The corridor is short, opening up to an open plan studio. The layout varies from Jungkook's, but it's similar in size. Small.

"Ignore the wallpaper," you say of the awkwardly granny-ish floral print. It's beige, so not totally offensive, but dear god, you think it looks like vomit.

"No," he grins. "It's... wow. Your landlord really knows how to make a statement, don't they?"

You perch on your bed and cringe. "A statement... a crime against interior design. Whatever you wanna call it."

Jungkook continues to pace around your room with a curious smile. He's partially deflecting from the fact he knows you're probably dying to ask about his face, and why he was so desperate to be with you, but he's also interested in the life you neglected to share with him.

Brown cardboard boxes are piled high in the corners, your possessions not yet unboxed.

This place is just temporary.

You've got three and a half million won sat on your desk. A couple more weeks, just a few, and you'll have enough for a deposit on a decent flat. Then you can get a regular job, something stable, and you won't have to worry. You could work through the summer and then figure out what to do next. Just as long as you keep on moving upwards, you'll be happy.

"So," you begin gingerly, as you head to the kitchenette beside your bed, wetting a cloth beneath your tap. "You gonna tell me what happened to your face?"

He takes your previous position, inviting himself to sit on the end of your bed, anticipating your return. There's light coming in from the thin windows by your ceiling, hitting directly onto your back. He thinks it's apt. Thinks you're the kind of girl who deserves a spotlight. Thinks that Mother Nature agrees.

Jungkook shrugs, in that lazy, boyish way he so often does, as you walk towards him. He spreads his legs, encouraging you between them, letting his hands graze your thighs. You pretend not to notice as you press the damp cloth to his cheek. Tiny crows legs appear at the edges of his eyes, face wincing from the contact. It's painful.

But being alone would be more painful. He chose to be here. To be with you.

And so he tells you what happened, with as much honesty he can muster. There are some things better left unsaid, his occupation being one of them. You listen attentively, dabbing at his wounds, a frown etched into the lines of your face.

"Stay away from the girl, huh?" you muse, avoiding his eyes as you study his face. His nose is still bleeding, but every time you tell him to tilt his head towards the ceiling, it ends up back in its original position. He can't see you as well with his head tilted back. Doesn't like it. Doesn't wanna do it. "Could be any girl."

Jungkook's dimple forms in his cheek. "No. No, it couldn't."

His fingers that have been grazing at your thighs squeeze tenderly, letting you know he means it. More than he thinks you know. More than he knows he should.

There's a chance that any words spoken between the pair of you could be misconstrued. He doesn't know what his feelings for you are, and you don't really understand yours for him - but you understand your body, and the electric current running beneath your lips, dying for a connection. A little spark.

So you do the only thing that makes sense: you kiss him.

And he kisses you back. Slowly, tenderly, deliberately. His lips melt into yours, hand pulling your legs closer. He encourages you onto his lap, as if he needs to be insufferably close to you. Once you're positioned how he wants, just like you were earlier, he grips your waist, keeping you stationed there.

Jungkook knows he should stop.

He knows he should have paid attention to the pair of fists that warned him off you as his skull hit the pavement earlier that morning, knows he shouldn't let himself get so wrapped up in such a red flag - but he just can't help himself. It's like you're laced in the narcotics he deals, and slowly but surely, you've gotten him addicted.

He's craving. Dying for a hit. Just a little taste of your tongue on his, the scent of your shampoo in his nose.

Red flags, red stop signs, pretty red lips all plump from the kisses he's smothering them in. Red blood, too. His nose is still a little damaged, and the way he's painting your cheek in crimson should repulse you.

Should repulse you.

Like fuck it does, though. You can smell the copper twinge through his plasma, and suddenly it's as if the Cullen's had the right idea all along.

When he pulls back, only for a moment, hands clutching at the side of your face to assess the look in your eyes, he notices it too. Hard not to. You blush all the fucking time, so much so that he knew the shade by heart, and the rouge on your cheek is far too vibrant, too scarlet. It's his fucking blood on you.

It should scare him, he knows. But the way you're looking at him, eyes all wide and glassy, lips swollen and waiting for more, has him unable to think straight. It has him obsessed, the way you don't care. The way he's covered you in blood and you still seem to want more.

But there's a softness to the way in which you're looking at him, mild confusion, as if you've got the same strange warmth running through your veins as he does. It's not a feeling he recognises, pulsing through his bloodstream with every beat of his heart.

Perhaps it's nothing. Jungkook tells himself that it is. Just adrenaline, probably.

You look at his lips, all crimson and blushed, and realise you much prefer the shade of his blood to the plum lipstick that had tainted them the night before. You're delicate as you wipe your thumb along his pouted bottom lip, just like you did in the bar. Except this time, the jealousy that had blossomed in your diaphragm is nowhere to be found. There's still a pinch beneath your ribs, but this time it's in your heart, and it's far more aching. This time, you feel his hurt.

Jungkook reaches down to where you left the damp cloth on your bed. It's wet and heavy in his hand, a little warm, too. He brings it to your face and dabs silently, cleaning you of the mess he's made. Fixing you. Restoring you to your former glory.

Its futile, 'cause his nose is still fucking bleeding, and you don't plan on leaving it more than a moment before you kiss him again. You simply don't care. Want him for all that he is, blood, sweat and tears.

But still, he insists on ridding you of his stain. Doesn't want to tarnish you. He's soft with the way he presses the cloth against you, mirroring how tenderly you were with him earlier. He's learning from you, adapting to you. Wants to be like you. Wants to be 'better'.

You watch as his eyes scan your face, brows twisted like they always do when he's about to say something but stops himself. The vertical groove just above his cupid's bow is red, blood tacky as it dries. If he kisses you now, he'll leave a stamp; a mark that says 'you're mine.'

It's too much. Far too much. You aren't his, and he knows this. He never wanted you to be his, in fact, for the longest time, he had wanted to be anything but yours.

But now he sits beneath you, crestfallen, heart in his throat, blocking him from speaking.

This was never part of the plan. He was never supposed to end up here. He was supposed to escape from the trenches, to get on the path of straight and narrow. Thrive. Succeed.

And it's not your fault, he knows this, but there's a little part of him that wonders what could have happened if he hadn't seen you that night in Daerim, hadn't seen the way your eyes look beneath night market lights, hadn't heard your laugh as he looked at his favourite view of the city.

You whisper his name, your palm resting flat on his chest, and his brows soften.

It doesn't matter what could have happened, anymore.

All that matters is what is happening.

The shortness of his breath, the flutter of his lashes against your cheek, the swelling between his legs. You can feel it, feel him, and he knows it. The way he's pulsing his hips upwards is testament to that.

It's a comfortable position, you sat on his lap on the end of your bed, not one that either of you wishes to break from. Not even as he begins to breathe against your lips, unable to properly control his reactions thanks to the friction beneath his briefs.

"Want you," he mumbles, pressing his lips into yours, the air in his lungs giving itself up to you. "Want you so bad."

You shake your head, brows pinched just a little. "I'm bad news for you."

And maybe that's it. Maybe he just wants you because he knows he shouldn't - but fuck it, if he can't let himself indulge in simple pleasures, then why bother getting himself beaten to a pulp over you?

"I'm bad news for myself, sugar," he husks against your lips, tickling them as he slips his tongue into your mouth. Deeper, deeper. Closer, closer. He wants it.

Wants it all.

Wants you naked.

Wants to know what it feels like to have you gasp in his ear as his hands roam beneath your panties.

Wants to know if you'd still look at him like you're stargazing even when he's railing you.

Wants it. Wants you. Just wants.

And what Jungkook wants, Jungkook gets.

He slips his hand up your shirt and pushes it upwards, before letting it crumple to the floor. You know that you should be more bashful, a little bit ashamed, but it's impossible when he's looking at you like this.

He has a visual now that he didn't have earlier. The glow of your skin beneath his bruised knuckles looks almost sinful, like he's plucking forbidden fruit from its tree. He'll pay the price for this, and he knows it, but he just can't resist.

Jungkook has always been a boob guy, always loved the way he could get girls moaning with just a little pinch, but never had he had a pair quite like yours. So full, so round, he's not sure his hands are big enough, and that doubt makes him throb. Soft and pillowy, he groans as he watches his fingers sink into them, utterly enthralled. His hips adjust, pushing upwards, pressing himself into you. He wants this. Wants it so bad.

You can feel the metal of his rings against your skin, and then you can feel his lips, his tongue, his teeth as they graze against the plush skin of your chest. He licks around your nipple, letting the air cool the wet trail, hardening you for him.

He's utterly obsessed.

His mouth pulls at the sensitive skin, suckles, sucks. His lashes are splayed on the tops of his cheeks, lips pouting around your nipple as he does so, small groans of pleasure vibrating against you. It will be a miracle if he can't already feel you seeping through your panties.

You whimper as his teeth graze your hardened nub, and his eyes flutter open. He doesn't detach himself, but instead, he keeps your gaze as he sucks. The pressure varies, and then it's hard. Really fucking hard. So hard you'll think he'll somehow give your nipple a hickey - but fuck, if you don't love the sensation.

"Christ," you gasp, before biting down into your bottom lip.

"Too hard?" He mumbles against you, peppering you in kisses and soft licks as if to apologise.

"No," you pant. "Was good. Was great. Just - fuck."

You laugh, soft and airy, and Jungkook smiles from the sound.

He likes this. Likes how you react to him.

And while he’s patient and gentle with you in a way that he isn't with other people, Jungkook has only ever known how to have sex in one way. It's ingrained into him, as if he was made to fuck like it; like he doesn't give a shit about the person he's screwing.

Jungkook doesn't do love, and you know this. He trades. Works in transactions. Settles debts. You don't really know this part, but you aren't stupid. You know he's never in Daerim for any good fucking reason.

You don't question it as his hands move south, slipping past your underwear. In fact, you're smug as he curses when he feels how wet you are, fingers slippery in your panties.

He pushes a finger into you, and closely follows it with a second. They curl ever so slightly, and it's at this point that you realise Jungkook is absolutely going to ruin you. Just a few pumps. Just to ease you up.

He's bored of waiting. Wants you now.

The pair of you move fluidly, minimal discussion needed, just occasional checks of 'you good?', or 'this okay?'. The answer is, always, without a doubt, 'yes'.

He gets you on your back, panties pulled off, legs not quite hanging off the edge of your bed, but nearly. He strips himself of his shirt first, and grins as he notices the way you whine.

"What?" he toys.

"Nothing," you flirt. "Just wish you'd hurry up. I'm a busy woman."

"Oh yeah?" The sound of his buckle coming undone is enough to make you fucking leak. "Busy doing what?"

You neglect to tell him. Not because you don't have a witty remark lined up, but because he's fucking naked now.

What a sight to behold he is. Body lean, honey skin flawless, muscles defined. You pretend like you're looking at his body, but your eyes are drawn to his cock. You'd expected length, but not the girth - and he has both in abundance. The tip of his cock is blushed and wet, with Jungkook just as aroused as you are.

Noticing your gaze, he rolls his eyes, and toys with your pussy again, lightly running his fingers up and down your slick entrance. When he pulls back, his fingers are still connected by thick clear fluid. His cock throbs.

"You're gonna get me so dirty," he hums, as he crawls onto the bed above you, before holding his fingers to your mouth. "Clean them."

Part of you wants to say no, but the other part of you can see his darkened gaze and the way his cock is twitching. You can't refuse.

His fingers are on the tip of your tongue, the tip of his cock nudging so close to your entrance that he may as well just do it. You raise your hips, encouraging, but he retracts a little just to tease.

The fingers that were in your mouth come to grip at the soft flesh of your cheeks, his thumb on the other side. "Don't you fucking dare."

There's tepid aggression to his movements, and it makes you feel vulnerable - but you like it. You like the way he's gripping your face, the ways he's looking at you with narrow eyes, just like he used to do across the lecture hall. You like being reminded of when you were nothing to one another, because it makes the satisfaction of feeling his stiff cock jump a little against your pussy as you moan so much more worth it.

He used to hate you, now he can't wait to bury his fat cock in you. Victory is yours, even if he's trying to act like he's the one holding all the cards.

You don't correct him, though. You let him think he has the upper hand. You'll play pillow princess just this once if it means you get to see him a little bit mean again.

"Dare what?" you pout, cheeks still squished between his fingers. He grips a little tighter, your chest rising as you gasp. He pulls your face towards his, sinking down into your lips, until he decided he's done with you.

He stands by the edge of your bed, and yanks your ankles towards him, pulling you close enough to the edge for him to fuck you like this.

The loss of his grip is unwelcome by you, a frown forming. He isn't looking at your face now, eyes down on his cock, which he's rubbing between your soaked pussy lips, but he can almost hear you brace yourself to whine. He smirks, one side of his mouth lifting, head knocking to the side slightly.

"Don't you dare try and set the pace," he finally husks, still not glancing up towards you. He's taking his time, making sure the head of his cock kisses every inch of your exposed mess. "Nearly got my nose fucking broken for this pussy-" he spits, hard and fast, right onto your clit, spreading it with his cock. "- so I'm gonna make sure I get what I'm owed."

He spreads your thighs back, his fingers gripping harshly just how you like it. Perhaps you should pretend to be embarrassed by the fact your cunt is leaking for him, begging for him, but the way he hisses at the sight, chest heaving, prevents it.

Jungkook's thought about this before, about how pretty and pristine you'd be, about the mess he'd hoped you'd make. Thought about it so many times. Fingers wrapped around his shaft in the middle of the night when no one can hear him chant your name as he spills over. Yeah, he's thought about it a lot.

His imagination has never done you justice. One look and he's obsessed. Wants to spend hours touching, caressing, licking you.

"Take it," you whisper. "What you're owed, Jungkook. Take it."

He looks up now, brows threaded together. You don't recognise the contemplation his face is laced in, but he doesn't give you the chance to question it, for you begin to feel that burn. The one your fingers can never give you. It's alien, and yet familiar, inherently natural but intrusive nonetheless.

"Shit," is all you can manage to say, eyes locked on his.

He wants to watch himself sink into you, watch as his fat cock forces your slick wetness out of your pussy, but he can't. Not when you're looking at him like that. Not when your chest is heaving and your eyes are watering beneath tense brows. Not when your mouth is hanging open and just begging to be fucked like your tight little pussy.

And then he starts feeling something a little strange. A little unfamiliar. A little bit like his heart has stalled to beat in time with the contractions of your chest. And though he's not in pain anymore, too busy feeling you, he's aware that it hurts. Aware that he can't fuck you like he wanted to, 'cause his chest needs to be against yours. Needs to feel the beating drum beneath your ribs.

He doesn't even realise that he's paused until you whine a meagre, "please."

"That's more like it," he hums, as he pushes into you, the base of his thick cock plugging the weeping mess that he's made. You know that as soon as he pulls out, you'll be whimpering, begging for the tip of his cock to kiss your walls once more. "See how nice things can be when you just behave yourself, huh?"

His hips push just a little deeper, and he knows that it hurts. Knows that the little gasp isn't entirely from pleasure. He's seen his cock. Doesn't take a genius to work out that it can do damage.

"You can take it," he tells you, and like a pathetic, whimpering mess, you fucking nod. He's still inside of you, still deeper than you thought possible, and then his hand is on your stomach. He grabs your hand and places it beneath his. "You feel that?" He retracts just a little, pushing back in just as deep. Beneath your hands, there's a bulge. External or internal, it doesn’t matter. It's him. He does it again. "You feel me taking what's mine?"

Whatever the fuck you moan is incoherent, but he doesn't give a shit, 'cause he's ploughing now. Bucking his hips into you like pneumatic fucking drill. Shit. He's done this before. Got it mastered to a fine art. Momenta worthy of a museum exhibition.

Your tits are pillowed on your chest, nice and round, wobbling as he takes command of your body. He slaps one of them, just to watch it ripple, before that firm grip of his is on it. "Perfect tits," he growls the compliment, not really meaning for it to come out. "Gonna put my cock between them later," he tells you. "Gonna cum all over them."

He doesn't tell you that he'll also clean them with his hungry tongue, before delivering his cum into your mouth. Figures he'll just let you find out. His brain is working at a mile a minute, trying to reign back thoughts of sharing his cum with you in such a filthy manner. God, he wants to do heinous things to you. With you. For you.

But for now, he needs to focus on his cock. It's rubbing inside of you, nuzzling. He knows he's weeping, and that his precum is getting mixed with your slick juices. Knows he won't last long if you keep whining like that. Mewling. Purring.

He stalls his hips, letting go of your tits as they jiggle back into position. Your cheeks are flushed, imprints of his fingers reddening your skin. Lips pouted and resting ajar, Jungkook thinks they've never looked more fuckable. More kissable. More whisper-sweet-nothings-against-able.

"You ever shut the fuck up?" he teases, but is quick to notice confusion flash in your eyes. He didn't mean it as an insult, but it's easy to read the hurt in your perplexed features, and the way you begin to try and push your legs together. It's futile. His cock is keeping you open.

But you feel embarrassed, as if your natural reactions to him are a turn-off. It's silly, because he's quite literally inside of you, fat and solid, using you to milk himself. Of course, he's not turned off, but you're hyper-aware of how vulnerable you're feeling right now. It had been fun to pretend like you were in control, but as soon as he slipped inside of you, all sense of power had evaporated.

He doesn't realise this though. Doesn't realise that his cock is nudging so deep into you that it's practically knocking against your heart. Knock, knock, knock. Who's there? Your mind taunts, but you daren't answer.

"Hey," he coos, one of his large palms stroking on the inside of your thighs. That uncomfortable, obscure feeling is back again. The one that tells him he needs to be closer to you. This time, he doesn't ignore it. His hips pulse, just the once. A reminder he's still very much into this. Into you.

His hands grip your waist, softly this time, as he manoeuvres himself onto the bed with you, keeping himself snug. Your head is by the pillows, Jungkook's knees on either side of your ass, his chest flat against yours as one of his hands cradles your jaw. He presses a chaste, airy kiss against your lips, and whispers, "I love the way you sound." He kisses you again, hips rocking. You're trying not to, but you whine. "Fuck, sugar. You're my favourite fucking sound."

Your legs hook over his back, and he groans now. The angle change lets him delve deeper, your walls massaging him so well. Jungkook thinks he might have died and gone to heaven. He's slipping in and out of you with minimal force, skin slapping together. He makes sure to let his moans roll off his tongue and into your mouth. You eat them up and give them back. The pair of you aren't kissing anymore, just gasping and humming into one another's mouths. He's stuttering.

There's a pause as he adjusts his grip, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of your thighs. He likes it, the way you seem to melt around him in all capacities. His lips nudge against yours as his steady hips begin to rock into yours again.

You groan as he pushes down on your legs, pushing you as far apart as your bones allow. It's typical of him, seeing how far he can take things. Push them to the limit. Always gets him in trouble. There's a click, as air escapes from the socket where your leg meets your pelvis.

"You good?" He checks and you respond with a kiss. Hands tangled in his hair, you hope it conveys the fact you've never felt better. He laughs a little, soft and serene, into your mouth, the weight of his body keeping you trapped beneath him.

You're morbid in your thoughts, and consider how nice it would be for Jungkook to suffocate you like this; steal you of the air you breathe with his tiny giggles of satisfaction. So, so nice, you think.

And so you tell him. You tell him that you want his hand on your throat. He takes a second to respond - not because he doesn't want to, but more so because he can't believe you actually asked.

He doesn't normally fuck the girls he cares about like this. Then again, he never really cares about the girls he fucks.

"God," you moan as he pushes one of your legs over his shoulder. His body is clammy against yours, skin hot and damp, chest lean but built. He's working hard; not just for his release. For yours too. Rams into you, stuffing your cunt with his cock, dipping his head to lather your clasped throat in wet kisses.

"That's it, sugar," he growls as his teeth graze your neck. "Need to hear how good you feel. Need to hear what my cock does to you. You owe me."

You want to laugh. You're about to laugh. But then his head dips down to your chest, and he latches onto one of your pebbled nipples, sucking so hard that all you can do is tremble. He knows you like this. Knows it makes your pussy all creamy and slippery for him - and like clockwork, he's proven right. The sounds are lewd. He loves it.

"On your back," you husk, punctuating your instruction with a whimper as he suckles even harder. He shakes his head, eyes closed, mouth vibrating and full of your tit. Not a chance, he tries to say, but it just sounds likes he's forgotten how to speak. Too busy. Too close to spilling himself into you. Doesn't wanna get distracted.

So focused, he doesn't realise you're pushing him over until you're on top. He frowns as he detaches from your nipple with a pop, but his hands are running all over your body regardless. Obviously doesn't care that much. Course he doesn't. That ache in his chest has settled.

Until he starts thinking about it, and oh god, it's back and it's fucking unbearable.

"C'mere," he pulls you flush against him, as your hips begin to work against him. His hands cradle your face so he can kiss you as deeply as he likes, tongue slipping into your mouth, as his cock slips up and down your pussy. This, he thinks, is it. This is what fucking should feel like.

"Shit," he whispers. "Shit."

The friction of his surprisingly neat hair that rests at the base of his cock is nice. Real fuckin' nice. You're not even fucking him anymore, just grinding against it. Using it, using him, to get yourself off.

You think you're being slick, like he won't notice - but he does. Of course, he does. He's obsessed with your body.

"God, yeah, baby," his back arches, pressing his chest against yours, eyes closed. "Use me like that. Use me," he bites into your shoulder gently. "Fucking use me."

He means it. Doesn't give a shit about himself anymore. Just wants to feel you tremble as he holds you close. Wants to press kisses against your lips as your moans become undignified. He needs to be the reason you cum; needs to be responsible for your oxytocin rush.

You sit up a little, and Jungkook holds back a pout from the separation - but how can he complain when you're sat like that, his cock buried inside of you, hair a mess and with eyes like his favourite constellation? He's hypnotised as your boobs begin to bounce, pussy working up his shaft like the true Daerim woman of the night you are. He's forgotten about all of that, now. Can't think about anything except for how to not fucking cum.

He can't and he won't. Not until you do. But you're bouncing, and it's wet, and he can hear it, and it feels so fuckin' good. His toes are curling, torso tensing, eyes half-shut, pretty little pout hanging open. He's fucking whining. "Yeah like that," he encourages. "Gonna milk me so well, baby. Gonna... ah. Fuck. Gonna-"

Jungkook can't fucking speak. He wants to. Wants to tell you how fucking beautiful you look, how he wants this endlessly, how he never wants to let you go. Needs to tell you how right this feels, how good you make him feel, how he doesn't understand his feelings but fuck, just that he is feeling. Feeling so much.

You're not sure at which point he started calling you baby, but you're actually convinced that the name alone could tip you over the edge.

The pace of your hips is slowly, savouring. He doesn't quite get it. You were so close. Why stop?

The stillness of your movements makes way for something new. He feels a throb around his fat cock, which is begging for release. Notices the way your chest is shaking like you've got hiccups, tiny whines of pleasure making themselves known. Your pussy was always warm, but it's hot now, contracting around him.

And then he gets it.

"Oh, shit," he mewls, his hips slowly pumping upwards. "Yeah, that's it, baby. Let yourself cum. All over my dick," he encourages, hedonistic and self-serving. "That's it. Cream for me."

His slow movements as he fucks up into you amplify the sensation, the tip of his cock nudging languidly against your tight walls. Your entire body shudders, the feeling rippling from your chest right down to your toes. You rasp out moans, the sensation all too powerful, a creamy mess pooling at the base of his shaft. There's a jerk as your muscles spasm, your orgasm well and truly delivered. He pulls you down and into his chest, his strong arms wrapped around your back.

Your body rests on his, spent and sensitive, and he can tell you can't hold out for much longer. He pushes back the hair that's sticking to your clammy face, and presses kisses into your temple.

"So big," you hum, voice hazy, eyes shut.

"Just a little more, baby," he promises. " You're doing so well. Just a little..."

You've considered how Jungkook would orgasm on more than one occasion - and you're pleasantly surprised to find that your imagination was wrong. There's no grand declaration, nor large grunt. He's not aggressive, either, like you'd half-hoped he would be.

Instead, Jungkook kisses you as his hips begin to stall. His brows are creased, moans muffled against your lips. His torso shudders, abdomen as tight as his balls. "Baby," he drowsily mewls, and then it's happening. His cock pumps into you, unloading thick creamy spurts with every stroke of your pussy. The first one is so desperate that you're almost positive you can feel it paint your insides. You moan along with him, utterly obsessed with this, him, whatever the fuck just happened.

He doesn't withdraw immediately. Just lays there and kisses your skin, absolutely spent.

You don't move a muscle. You don't want it to be over. Don't wanna lose this. Lose him.

When you tilt your head to look at him, he's smiling. Eyes closed, cheeks appled. Serene. In a state of fucked-out bliss.

You tell him that he's pretty, and he lets out an airy laugh, covering his face with one of his hands. You move his hand and watch him fondly, enthralled with the grin that he's struggling to fight.

He turns to look at you, and the smile he's been boasting amplifies. "God, you're gorgeous."

It's not a new observation; just one he's never voiced before. One that he was able to resist saying. But you're naked now, chest pillowed against his, eyes glowing and nose blushed.

You hum, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. "I'm glad you chose to come here."

Just like that, there's a knot in Jungkook's stomach that seems to anchor that feeling he keeps having.

"Yeah," he nods. "Me too."

IT'S THREE IN the afternoon by the time you wake from your post-fuck snooze. Jungkook's never had one of those before. Hated being sticky after sex with anyone else. Always had to shower - but with you, he wants to stick to you like glue.

"Should have filmed that," he hums, the tips of his fingers stroking up your arms. You aren't sure if he's joking or not. "Would have given us a unique take on the project. Probably wouldn't have gotten us very high grades, mind you, but art is subjective."

"Some would argue that the critique of art is objective," you muse back, still blissfully cum-drunk from the events prior to your nap. Jungkook's nose has stopped bleeding, and the pair of you have almost forgotten the reason he showed up in the first place. "Documentary maker by night, porn star by day," you flirt. "Although it's cute that you think you fuck like a porn star."

"I felt you shaking," he says, knowing there's no possible way that you didn't enjoy it. His nose feels a little cold after all the trauma of the morning, so he buries it into your hair. "Can't fake that."

"That's what I'm saying," you simper, pressing a kiss against his bare torso, just below the meeting of his collarbones. And then another, simply for good measure. "Porn stars never actually look like they're making the woman feel any good." You trail down his chest, tongue licking gently at the darker skin around his nipple. "You... yeah you don't fuck like a porn star." And then you suck a little. He hisses, in the best possible way. 

"Don't," he says. "Not ready to go again."

You laugh. 

Jungkook thinks he's reached Nirvana. Almost certain, in fact. Never had a girl do that to him before. He loves to give it, but hasn't ever thought to receive it. Wonders what other things you'll do to him that he's never had done before. He can feel his cock fucking twitching again, achy and sore, definitely not recovered yet from how hard he went earlier - but god, he wants it. Wants to bury himself inside you again. Belong to you.

His hands paw at you, one gripping on your chest, the other on your ass, pulling you closer. Your leg hooks over him, and he can feel how wet you still are on the side of his thigh. His balls fucking tighten. He can feel it happening, blood rushing to his crotch. 

Yet despite it all, he just kisses you. Softly. Tenderly. Merely his lips languid between yours. Withdraws slowly. Keeps his eyes closed. Bliss.

"The fuck have you done to me, sugar?" he whispers, dark eyes opening to look into yours. His speech is husky, like he trying to steal the answers of a pop-quiz from you. You can't help him. You don't have a clue what the answer is. You're just as stuck as he is. "Got me feeling all fuzzy 'n' shit."

"Just a sugar rush," you smile. "It'll pass."

You're both acutely aware that it won't, but that will be a problem for another day.

"Tell you what," Jungkook muses, though his thoughts are shallow. He's not digging deep. Just talking for the sake of it. "I might not fuck like a porn star, but you don't fuck like a hooker." 

He pulls your arm up so that he can study the crease of your elbow. You let him move your body like you're a barbie doll. You'll be his toy, you think, if he wants. No bother. 

His fingers press at the thin skin that covers your veins, inspecting. 

"Not a scratch," he assesses. "So you're not an addict either."

You laugh, slightly amused. "No? Maybe I just don't inject."

Jungkook gives you a stern look. Hopes you're joking. Tells you that you better fucking be joking. The sweetness of your laughter tells him that you are.

"So?" you press. "I'm not a prostitute and I'm not an addict. It's your lucky day. What of it?"

Jungkook tilts his head down so that his nose is nestled into the crown of your head again. Comforting, he thinks. Smells like laundry. You must have washed your sheets recently. 

His next statement takes you off guard. 

"Only ever see three kinds of women down in Daerim." 

And you know.

You know he knows. 

You can feel it in the way he protectively presses his lips into your skull, as if he's Prince Charming trying to rid his Sleeping Beauty of the nightmare she's been living. Wake up.

But Prince Charming rides a white horse, not a petrol-spitting, air-cooled, steel-framed shadow that rips through the city at night. 

There are no nightmares, either. You're already wide awake. There's no saving you. 

He sighs against your head. Pauses. Resists, and then confronts. 

"I know what you do in the dark, sugar."

You don't say anything for a moment, and then you're pulling away from him, reaching for your shirt. He doesn't like this. Misses your warmth, but doesn't stop you. Instead, he follows, sitting on the edge of your bed, the corner of your comforter lazily protecting his modesty. His muscles are relaxed now, a little crease in his stomach from the way that he's slouching, hands in his lap. Those Bambi eyes of his are peaking through his hair, cheeks red and grazed from the morning encounter he'd had in Daerim.

He watches as you pull your shirt over your head, hair just as messy as his, and a graze on your cheek to match. He was pretty certain before that it had been carpet burn, but now that he's seen it up close, softly rubbed his thumb against it during pretty kisses, he's sure of it.

You avert his gaze. Feel shameful. Hate that he knows. You never cared before. It was just a fun little secret, the fact that he didn't know you were no angel. 

But you want him to think that you're one, now. 

For a moment, you were sure that he had. 

Instead, now, it feels like you're falling from grace.

He reaches for your hand, but you pull it back. "Please don't."

And so he doesn't. Just sits for a little while instead. "Do you want me to get dressed?"

You really don't. 

But your tongue is lodged in your mouth and it won't budge. You turn away, internally furious with yourself. It's been a while since you've gotten like this; so dreadfully panicked that you can't talk. It's a once in a blue moon kind of thing, the early onset of a panic attack, but you're hoping it won't reach the stage of no return. Praying.

"Babe?"

He sounds worried now, and it's making it worse. Feels like you've just reached the top of Bukhan Mountain without taking a second to catch your breath. 

Has your chest always been this tight? Or has someone just been wrapping rubber bands around your torso without you noticing? 

It isn't possible, and you know this, but it feels like it and - oh God - you can hear him shuffling, the buckle of his belt clanging. He's leaving, he's leaving, he's leaving, your ribs cackle as they close down on your lungs. 

There's a light hum behind you, like a wasp is coming to send you into a state of anaphylactic shock and then it stops. His jeans are tossed to the floor once more.

"Yoongi?" Jungkook speaks quietly behind you into the receiver of his phone. "Wassu- Yeah, yeah, I'm safe. I'm good."

I'm safe. 

I'm good.

"Where are- Yoongi stop. Stop it. I'm being deadly fucking serious-"

You don't realise it, but your chest begins to mellow as you listen in to his conversation. 

"It's my mess!" He shouts now. "I'll fucking fix it. I don't give a fuck what Hobi says. Where you at? The Zoo? I'll be there- Yes, I will. Don't do anything fucking stupid."

And then he hangs up, chucking his phone into your bed with more aggression than he'd ever wanted to show in your presence. You don't see it, back still turned, but you hear it, the way his phone rebounds against the springs of your mattress.

"Shit," he hisses, and when you turn to face him, you find that his head is in his hands, elbows on his knees.

Crouching by him, your chest expands. You don't give a shit about yourself anymore. Your palms rest just behind his elbows, eyes anchored below his, looking up. 

"He's got his fucking final in an hour," is all Jungkook says. "He's gonna miss his fucking final."

He lifts his head, tender lips pouted, eyes bloodshot from the pressure he's been placing on his palms. Looks right at you. Decides he'll never trust another pair of eyes more.

"I know what you do in the dark, sugar," he relays. "But I do worse. So much fucking worse. And I've just gone and fucked it all up."

And while he blames it all on himself, you know it's your fault. 

He didn't stay away from the girl. He tempted fate, tugged on the red string, and accidentally snapped it.

Forlorn, he slumps, tongue wetting his bottom lip as he bites down on it. It's only to stop it from trembling. Clouds lurk in his eyes, trying to block his vulnerabilities from you, but it doesn't take a genius to work out that he's scared. 

"Take it," you say, lips in a flat line, eyes stern. You nod towards the pile of cash on your desk, and his eyes follow. "Take it. Pay your debts. I can earn it again. I don't have a deadline. You do."

He shakes his head.

"I'm not taking the money you've earned."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not," he protests and you've got it in your right mind to slap his pretty face silly. "Gonna be totally honest," he adds, "Don't really want your sugar baby money. Kinda resent it a little. Resent the fucker who gave it to you."

Jungkook hates him. 

Doesn't know him.

Loathes him.

"So then give him the middle finger and take it," you plead. "He got you fucked up into this mess, he got you jumped, he got your stash stolen. Take his money and get yourself and Yoongi out of it. You don't have time to be fucking arguing with me."

He wants to fight back. You stop him.

"We can argue later," you promise.

And that ever-present effervescent feeling is back in his chest. 

"Sugar," he speaks quietly. "Don't do this."

"Kook," you respond, voice much firmer than his. "You gotta do this. Yoongi shouldn't be fixing your mistakes and you know it. We can work it out on an I.O.U. basis. It's okay."

"I.O.U. suggests I'm gonna keep seeing you for a while," Jungkook mumbles. He isn't feeling as confident in himself as he had done earlier. 

You stand, offering your hand to him so that you can pull him up with you. Neither of you acknowledge the fact that he's stark bollock naked. It's really not the time. Nothing you haven't seen before, after all.

"Well, yeah," you shrug with a straight face, but there's a glint in your eye. "I'd hope so. Pretty sure you said you were fuck my tits later? Gotta hold up your end of the bargain, sugar."

And despite it all, he laughs, toying with your hands before slipping his finger between yours. "Don't call me that."

"Why not?" You squeeze his hands. "You're technically my sugar baby now."

"That's not how it works."

God, he knows he shouldn't be fucking about, wasting time flirting, but he just can't help himself.

"No?" You question, equally distracted.

"No," he says. "If you're paying me, and I'm fucking you, then that makes me a hooker."

He's not wrong. 

"Oh, that's kinda hot," you smile, pulling gently on his hands to encourage him to lean down. He does as he's told, and kisses you like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"You're so fucked up," he whispers against you, knowing that it's exactly why he enjoys you so much.

You don't let the moment linger, though, tossing him his clothes and going to grab the money while he dresses himself. You stack it together, all nice and neat, using the desk to straighten the edges. The wedge is thick in your hands. Yellow 50's are laughing at you. Stupid girl thought we'd fix her problems, they chatter silently to one another.

"Three and half million won," you hold it out to Jungkook. He hesitates, so you force his grip around it and let go. It's his problem, now. Not yours. You smile so warmly that Jungkook can't help but let that feeling in his chest simmer. Your hair is still messy, mascara still smudged. He wants to kiss your cheeks. 

Jungkook hasn't disclosed what exactly was in his bag.

But in the same way he knows there are only three types of women in Daerim, you know there are equally only three types of men.

There's only one demographic that he belongs to. Yoongi, too. 

You don't say it explicitly, not like he does. 

"Holangi are nasty fuckers," you acknowledge. "I know they raise the stakes just for the fun of it. Whatever got stolen, the street value doesn't matter. Take it all. You'll need it."

Take what I owe you.

When he kisses you goodbye, it's just like the first time; all breathy and needy, lips parted and pouting. Again and again, he presses down into your lips. His brows furrow, hands on your cheeks, chest pressed against yours.

The crimson paint that had stained you from his very first kiss returns. You're painted in red for the second time that morning, but this time only you can see it. Only you can feel it.

That's her. That's the girl who let Jeon Jungkook kiss her like he actually meant it. 

But it's funny now, because you know that he does mean it.

When he finally leaves, his nose is blushed, his cupids bow too. Eyes glassy. Smile forlorn.  

Disappointingly, as you close the door of your apartment when he's no longer in your line of sight, you remember exactly how Jungkook had kissed you for the first time:

Like it was going to be the last.

And it consumes you, because the kiss you just shared felt exactly the same.

Your chest is uncomfortable again, but it's not rubber bands this time. 

It's that stupid red string that Jungkook had tugged too tightly on.

The one that he'd snapped right in half. 

WATTPAD // AO3 // KO-FI // CARRD

You:

Leave me alone 🖕🏽

Jungkook:

Oh baby don’t hurt my feelings again 💔

Jungkook:

Unless you want to make it up to me like last time

You shuttered, feeling heat spreading throughout your body at the mention of last time. Your knees are still healing from the bruises and rug burn that decorated them. You lick your lips, the taste of his cum and your spit mixed together lingered on them. The ghost of his hands gripping your neck after having just fucked your throat raw prickle your skin with goosebumps.

It was a complete moment of weakness but you can’t say you regret it.

You close your eyes, fingers mindlessly skimmed against the supple skin of your stomach as you replay everything.

•••••

Jungkook stood by you, bare cock grinding on your thigh as he whined against your neck. He was absolutely hurt that you didn’t like his gift even after proving that it was, in fact, his beautiful, hard, blushing cock that he cloned. He pouted and held it in his hand, stroking it and eagerly showing you how painful it was. He was convinced that cumming down your throat would definitely make him feel better after having his feelings hurt since he worked so hard being your secret Santa. You rolled your eyes, this was why he was the baby of the group and why he got everything he wanted.

But you weren’t going to give in, absolutely not.

There was no way you could give in to this brat, not even after he collected a drop of his precum and sinfully licked it off of his finger.

Fuck, why did he have to be so sexy!?

Your facade was breaking since you loved it a little messy and he just had to lick his own cum off his finger. You look away when you see him taking his shirt off, goddamn was he sexy, but it snaps something in you. Next thing you know, you're practically melting to your knees in front of him. Jungkook smirked, loving the way you parted your lips for his cock, he rubbed his tip against your outstretched tongue, too excited to feel your apology.

•••••

The vibration of your phone brought you back to your senses. You rubbed your thighs together, feeling wet and miserably empty.

Jungkook:

Baby don’t tell me you fell asleep on me?

You:

Don’t call me baby

Jungkook:

You didn’t seem to mind it when you were swallowing my cock 🤔

You:

What do you want Jungkook?

Jungkook:

Can’t sleep:(

You:

Okay? How is that my problem?

Jungkook:

It’s not your problem but you can be the solution

You:

And how am I the solution?

Jungkook:

Easy

Jungkook:

Let me see that pretty pussy 😋

Jungkook:

Send me a video of you playing with my gift 🎥

You blush, totally expecting him to be this crude but it still caught you off guard. You look over at your nightstand, his gift tucked away in the drawer, easy access for whenever you’re desperate enough. You snort and angrily type back.

You:

Fuck you! I’m not doing that!

Jungkook:

Don’t be mean to me :(

Jungkook:

Doesn't even have to be a long video just wanna see your pussy

Jungkook:

I’ll reward you with a little taste of my cock baby remember how much you liked it?

Jungkook:

Let you suck on it whenever you want I won’t even cum

Jungkook:

You like that kind of thing don’t you? Just having it in your mouth?

Fuck him, how did he know that? You did like it a lot, definitely a lot more than you should have after having his. But it’s not your fault, his dick just tasted differently, you loved the heady taste as perverted as that makes you. You’re considering his offer, lust fully taken over, it would please your oral fixation getting just a tiny taste. And you do trust him enough not to share it with anyone, plus you miss his dick.

You:

Fine but you have to delete it right after otherwise I’m going to bite your dick off

Jungkook:

Fuck yea

Jungkook:

Thank you my little Angel 💞 I’ll cum loads in your honor 😘

You don’t know what you just agreed to, but you did it and you weren’t someone to go back on your word. You quickly change into frilly panties and a loose shirt, you also gave your hair a quick fix before grabbing the dildo where it waits for you.

You say a little prayer before turning on your fairy lights, you change the color so it’s baby blue, his favorite. You then put your phone on your nightstand facing you and making sure it captures everything perfectly. Hitting record with shaky fingers flipped a switch in you, your facade was easy to play into. You smile into the camera before flipping it off, turning around so your pretty pink panties came into view. You’ve seen enough pornos to know how to arch your back and teasingly pull your panties down. Not all the way down, just so Jungkook could see your pussy and the wet patch it left.

You spit on your fingers and reach behind you to wet yourself, not that it needed it but it was for visual aesthetic. You spread your lips and tease your hole until you’re begging yourself to give you relief. As your fingertips play with your entrance your other hand looks for the dildo. You quickly spread your legs so the stretch won’t be as rough, and you glide it against your core. You moan Jungkook’s name, making sure you use your filthiest voice.

When you feel the dildo wet enough you push it against your entrance. The stretch stings but you tease yourself with the tip coaxing yourself to let more in. You moan again, this time his name is said in a whiny tone, begging for him. Once it’s buried to the hilt, you show him how he’d look snuggled inside you. You begin thrusting it slowly, making sure to moan softly so he can hear the sounds of your wet pussy around it.

You sit up, holding the dildo down so you can ride peacefully. It was a little hard to do but all worth it when it practically hits your cervix. You’re quickly tired from this position so you roll on your back, legs spreading and twitching when you fuck yourself again. Your fingers play with your nipples under your shirt, you arch your back feeling your edge coming sooner than you thought.

But you weren’t going to give him the treat of seeing you cum.

Your shaky fingers grab your phone so you can get a closer look of how much it’s stretching you open. You film your sweaty body but end the video right after you lift your shirt up. You’re smiling too much as you type your message and send it to Jungkook. You continue playing with yourself satisfied and ready to chase your climax.

You:

{video attachment}

You:

Have fun with that you little brat

Despite your insult you’re in too deep to stop fucking yourself, the tip of the dildo feels too good hitting all your weak spots, but it’s not enough. You imagine his actual cock could do better at reaching those spots, leaking and rubbing against your walls in the most crude way possible. You moan and pick up the pace until it starts to sting, but you've always been one to like a little plain in your pleasure.

Your phone vibrates again, you forgot about the video you sent, too lost in finding your pleasure. You move so you’re on your tummy, dildo still snug inside you as you shift your leg to open yourself up again. Shaky fingers grab your phone so you can see the destruction left behind by your glorious cunt.

Jungkook:

What the fuck

Jungkook:

Fuck you’re so hot

Jungkook:

I swear you’re so fucking hot

Jungkook:

Pussy so pretty it loves my cock 😍

His texts stop coming for a minute, presumably to satisfy himself. You almost start working towards your own finish again but the texts flood your phone very annoyingly. You grunt before checking them.

Jungkook:

Oj fuxk

Jungkook:

Fuckijg mosnuing my namr

Jungkook:

Domt fucjng do bgat

Jungkook:

Answe mu cakk NWO

You panic when you feel your phone vibrate, you didn’t think he would actually call. Yet his name kept popping up until you hesitantly answer it. You’re met with the sound of Jungkook moaning, you almost choke on your spit, completely forgetting how gorgeous he sounded.

“I can’t fucking cum,” He’s breathing hard and growling out his words,” I want to fuck you— oh my god y/n, let me fuck your pretty cunt open.”

You stay silent, too focused on the sound of his hand slapping against his hips and the vulgarity of his words. He’s never sounded so desperate before, it made you stop your own desperation to cum just to listen to him.

“Baby give me more.” He moans his curses and begging.

“W-What more do you want?” You swallow the lump in your throat but he’s suddenly quiet. You can only hear shuffling and more grunting.

“I want to cum all over your pussy y/n.” Jungkook huffs but his whine was enough that blank your mind.

Your lips move without much thinking, you don’t care at this point, you want to feel him fill you to the brim. Fucking you so hard you can’t form any proper words. The dildo he made doesn’t satisfy you as much as the real thing would. You want to feel the pulse of his cock, the warmth of it pounding into you.

“Then come.” You end the phone call before you regret it. You let him take it as it is, he can cum or he can come. Either way you’ll be waiting, but in the meantime you think you’ll keep yourself busy with your new favorite toy.

You’re almost half asleep having already reached your climax but the sudden knocking on your door jolted you awake. The knocks are frantic and loud, you know exactly who it is but you’ll play dumb for the thrill of it. You wrap your flimsy robe that does little to hide your naked body underneath but you know he'll appreciate it.

You quickly make your way to your door, heart hammering in your chest with every step. You’re feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement thinking of what he was going to do. The knocks are louder now, almost pounding. You open the door and hiss for him to quiet down but what you’re met with floods your body with lust.

Jungkook’s breathing hard, hand on the door frame as he takes in your figure and what you’re wearing. He’s trying to catch his breath but you’re not helping at all with your sheer robe. He can see your pretty tits and nipples that beg for his attention, but he wants to see the cunt that cries for him with no barriers.

You’re smirking, eyeing him up and down, he can’t get any sexier than now wearing sweats and a muscle tee. His tattoos are all on display for your lustful eyes and it takes everything in you not to lick all over his muscular arms.

“You really must not get any pussy if you want mine this badly—“

“Stop talking—“ He shuts you up with his lips, the door is easily shut behind him. Hiding everything that was about to happen, not a care in the world, right now it’s just you and him. The kiss was messy, tongues gliding against each other just how you like it. Jungkook’s hands touch whatever skin he can grip, they lewdly cup your ass until you whine against his lips. You feel him smirk but he’s more focused on trying to get to your bedroom before he breaks down and fucks you right there at the entrance of your apartment.

You’re bumping into everything, kisses too rough and hypnotizing to care about the fallen frames and books. You eventually get him into your room where he unties your robe and eyes the body he’s been hungry for. But Jungkook is impatient, he pushes you on your bed and takes his shirt off. You’re quick to untie his sweats and free his rock hard erection from its restraints. Your hand squeezes the tip before wrapping your mouth around it, lightly sucking just to memorize its taste.

You distract him from fully taking his sweats off when you start bobbing your head. He motions for you to undress from your robe before you can get any more of his cock into your mouth. Any other day he would gladly cum on your tongue but right now he won’t cum unless it’s on your cunt.

He pushes you to lay down, hands behind your thighs to spread them open. Jungkook bends down and slowly swipes the flat of his tongue against your sticky slit. He limits himself to one sinful lick otherwise he'll be attached to you all night. Jungkook quickly pulls away and hovers over you, eyes dark and frantic but promising.

“Another day baby I promise,” He traps your lips in a heated kiss,” fucking promise I’ll eat you out until you’re crying.”

He angles his hip so his tip pokes your clenching entrance. It’s too much teasing for you, you’ve already felt how his length fits in you, you’re dying for the real thing.

“Ok ok just hurry up,” You pitifully whine, wrapping your legs around his hips trying to pull him inside you,” fuck me already—“

You don’t need to beg, he wants it just as bad as you do, if not more. Jungkook leans his hips to let his cock sink into you. He moans when he feels your walls recognize his shape, swallowing him back in with a wet welcome. He wastes no time and starts pounding into you, you moan a little too loud but his cock is worth the scolds you’ll get from neighbors.

Jungkook fucks you too desperatly, too dirty, too needy. He still hasn’t even taken his sweats off because of his desperation to feel your tight cunt around him. They rest on his thighs but he’s too focused on rutting into you to care. Jungkook meant to savor every bit of you but his cock has a mind of its own, it slips in and out of you with ease. You’re ridiculously wet and perfectly tight, it makes him go stupid with pleasure.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” He grunts in your ear,” Fucking love your pussy—“

“Jungkook—“ He kisses bruises into the skin of your neck, marking what’s his for anyone to see.

“You like my cock baby?”

“Yes, Yes I love it,” His hips rock into you harder, making your eyes roll back from the sting,” I love it Jungkook—“

“It’s all yours baby,” He speaks the truth, Jungkook has always been yours. He’s just waiting for the day you realize you’re his.

The room is filled with moans, skin slapping and the awful squeaking of your bed, but that doesn’t stop you from asking for more.

“Fuck me harder,” You’re begging as if he was the only means to your pleasure,” God, Jungkook, make it hurt—“

“You want me to make it hurt?” He repeats your words just to hear you scream.

“Yes!”

And he does exactly what you want, how could he say no when you’re clawing his back so desperately?

Jungkook pulls out and finally gets rid of his pants before flipping you over to have you on your knees. He grabs your softest pillow and places it in front of you before shoving your face into it. You squeal but you love the way he’s using you so roughly, it’s your every fantasy come true.

You wiggle your hips but he’s not having any of that and he says it with the heavy hand that slaps the supple flesh. You yelp as he moves on, hands gripping your waist tightly as if you’d try to escape. You feel his dick on your thigh, leaving a delicious trace of precum you much rather would have licked off. But he doesn’t let you imagine the taste since he’s fucking himself back into you.

Jungkook holds your arm behind you, fingers gripping on to your wrist while he feels your nails dig into his. Quick pumps of his hips slap against your ass, he’s fucking you so hard you cry out with each thrust. He loves hearing your moans though, they’re like a melody Jungkook could fuck to the rhythm of forever.

“Jun-Jungkook— I’m gonna cum—“ You arch your back to let him reach deeper into you.

“Cum then baby.” He leans over you, tattooed hand wrapped around your neck, just because he can, while his other hand snakes between your legs to pinch your clit. You cry out again, surprised but it was all you needed to have your muscles tighten and clenching around him as you reach your peak. You grip the sheets and repeatedly moan his name like a prayer on your tongue.

He slows down his pace and grinds his thickness into you to help you ride your high. He kisses your shoulder and calls you a good baby girl until his lips lock with yours. It’s a sweet kiss that you’ll overthink about, it’s too intimate but you crave it. Jungkook pulls away and kisses the tip of your nose, your cheek and your brow before smiling.

“My turn,” He slaps your ass and leans up again, he means business now,” I’m gonna make this pussy mine.”

He gave no other warning besides his hands on your waist. But one buck of his hips was all you needed to know that he was desperately holding back before. He’s set a merciless rhythm, cock throbbing as your pussy sucked him back in. He’s close, you can tell since his nails are digging into your hips, just like they did when he held your wrists as he released on your tongue the other day.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this Y/n,” Jungkook grunts as he feels his edge,” dreamt about this cunt for so long, now it’s all mine.”

You nod your head, too tired to fight him on this and maybe because you’re ok with the idea of being his toy. If this is how he fucks, you really don’t mind. His hips stutter when he feels you take his hand to grasp your breast, making him roughly squeeze it. Jungkook feels you tighten around him, almost hindering his movement, but that doesn’t stop him.

“Oh fuck baby,” He sighs lovingly,” oh, baby, I’m gonna cum.”

You clench to help him reach his high, your fingers moving his to play with your nipple. Jungkook pulls his hand away so he can pull out and fist his aching girth. Choked whines accompany squirting cum that lands wherever it wants, some land on your ass and some on your swollen cunt. It was too beautiful for Jungkook to stay away from so his fingers stroke your lips to smother his cum into your clit. He won’t fuck it into you but he’ll enjoy the way you tremble and smother your face in your pillow.

You swat his hand away and finally let your body slump in your bed. You close your eyes, way more than satisfied, worn out, but happy you got tossed around. Jungkook recollects himself, he watches your sleepy figure and chuckles. He let himself go a little hard so now he has to deal with the aftermath all on his own. He gets up to look for anything to clean you with, he makes sure to use soft hands since your skin was already irritated from him. He looks for his clothes and folds them neatly since he doesn’t like wrinkles. Jungkook puts your own clothes in your hamper and is about to tuck you in but you suddenly grab his wrist, thinking he was going to leave.

But you weren’t going to let him leave now, no way is he getting away with fucking you like that without treating you to breakfast.

“Oh no, you’re making me breakfast brat.” It’s the last thing you say before your eyelashes flutter shut. Jungkook shakes his head before slipping next to you to pull you into his arms, face buried in your hair like he was made to be there. He sighs blissfully, he wasn’t planning on leaving, you’re not getting rid of him so easily. So he’ll gladly make you breakfast.

Maybe he’ll get another taste of you while he’s at it.

──────────•❥❥❥•─────────

Uhmm please take this gift as an apology for not finishing Kissing Snowflakes, it’s not turning out how I want and becoming too mushy !! I’ll have it done soon 🫰🏽

Also please Im literally begging, send me and ask, tell me how you like it, if you’d like to see more !! I really want to know what you guys think!!

Love, Che~

Taglist if I took you off but you had interacted to merry kinkmas pls lmk and I’ll add you back on!!

But you’ve had almost two weeks now to get used to this new reflection. Your hair is different, your clothes are different, even your skin feels different. And once your eyes meet your reflection you feel different. Your face is different yet it is still the same. Yes, it’s the same. But it has nine years sticking to it. And that might take more than just a couple of weeks to get totally accustomed to.

Imagine you are 24 years old and when you wake up you are in a hospital bed with doctors questioning you with no mercy. And imagine that you take note of everyone’s paling faces when you tell them you are 24 and the year is 2014. And imagine the feeling of your heart dropping into the most empty stomach when your parents walk into the room and they don’t look how you remember. Gray hair and fine wrinkles that have become more and more prominent.

And imagine your bright, doe eyed best friend comes into the room as well and he becomes more evidence for you to question your reality. His once long, wavy hair is chopped into a short cut and his face looks thin and his eyes look weary. Imagine being told the year is 2023 and you are actually 33 years old.

Well, you don’t have to imagine. This is your reality.

That’s right. Naturally, your first thought was that something happened to you when you were 24 and you’re now just waking up. The heartache of missing an entire nine years of your life feels pitiful. But it turns out you have only been in a coma for three months. And you did live those nine years…you just don’t remember them.

33 but your soul is 24. 33 but you don’t even know how you celebrated being a ‘quarter’ for your 25thbirthday. 33 but you don’t even have the memory of mourning your 20’s once you turned 30. 33 but you don’t even remember undoubtedly crying about the first gray hair on top of your head. 33 but you are 24. 

Every little thing about you slips through the cracks and crevices of your brain, a whole nine years of your life somehow lost inside this electric goo. You stare into the mirror and wonder about who you are now. The doctors are cautious with how much information your poor little traumatized brain receives and it’s relieving but also annoying. You imagine how overwhelming it could be to get told about nine years of your life that you have zero clue about. Would anything even sound real? But you’re also so curious.

“Alright, miss y/n.” One of the doctors, Dr. Lee, that has been working with you comes inside the room. “We just have a few more exams today and then you are free to do what you’d like.”

“You mean in the comfort of this hospital room?” You shut the compact mirror closed and toss a glance at the doctor, “If I was really free, you’d let me go home.”

“Let you go home? But then I would be so bored miss y/n.” He chuckles, coming next to you. His fingers fiddle with the IV in your arm before resting a clipboard against his chest as he writes on it. “You are keeping the other doctors and I so busy.”

“Oh really?” You narrow your eyes at him while you try to keep a playful smirk at bay. “I asked one of the nurses for some spicy chips and she totally forgot. Never got my chips!” 

“Well, according to your charts, last year you dealt with some pretty bad gastritis. Spicy chips might be your end.”

“Damn, they weren’t kidding…” You laugh to yourself before leaning your head back onto the hospital pillow. “It’s all downhill after you turn 30, huh?” 

“Hey,” Dr. Lee lift his eyes to you, his pen still working against the paper. “I’m almost 50 and my life is fantastic. You just need to eat right and exercise and you’ll—”

“—That’s fantastic? God, I could eat 3 bags of spicy chips in a row, drink an entire case of beer and somehow eat some cakes right after and I never got sick. You’re saying I can’t even eat one bag of chips now without my body complaining?” 

Dr. Lee chuckles, his head shaking as he finishes writing on the clipboard. “I’m not saying you couldn’t. I’m just saying things might be different now.”

You blow out a puff of air as you open the compact mirror again and you steal a glance at your reflection, “Yeah, no kidding.” 

“Plus, I’ve been working with your parents to get your discharge ready.” Dr. Lee sets his clipboard down and he smiles. “It seems they’ve worked out a plan with your friend, Jungkook. My guess is another day or two so bear with me miss y/n.”

“Day or two?” You groan while a smile tugs at your lips. “Why not today?”

“Because today you still have examinations!” 

“Anyway, where are my parents and Jungkook? Still at lunch?”

“No, no.” Dr. Lee shakes his head, “I believe your parents came back already but your friend had some things to do. But he did tell me to tell you he will see you later before visiting hours are over.” 

“Liar.” You scoff to yourself, “He says things to do but I bet you he’s just going home to take a nap after eating.” 

Dr. Lee tries not to frown but his lips betray him. “Well, I wouldn’t be against him getting some extra rest.” He tells you, “He has been here every single day since your accident and I’m not sure he slept very much.” And then Dr. Lee clears his throat and motions for you to get up from the bed and into the wheelchair he brought. “Anyway, let’s head to another room for your first exam. Your parents will be around when we are all done.” 

“Okay, okay.” You smile at the doctor, “Also, you know I can walk, right?”

“Ah, but this is more fun.”

~

“Can’t believe just one more day and I am out of this prison!” You yawn out as you stretch your arms over your head. “Longest two weeks of my life.”

Your mom sighs out with the roll of her eyes, “It’s been more than two weeks for the rest of us. This is nothing.” She then smiles, her hand going to your shoulder. “Anyway, it’s your last night in this hospital bed. We can celebrate?”

“Celebrate? Leaving this amazing bed?” You show her a half smile. “I am going to miss it.” You tell her sarcastically but she joins in. Where do you think you learned it from?

“I bet you are.” She nods enthusiastically. “What are these sheets? At least 600 thread count?”

“I think they’re even temperature regulated.” You glance down, your fingers spreading over the very obvious cheap cotton. “You think they’ll notice if I steal them?”

“Well,” Your mother looks over at your father who just shakes his head with a quiet chuckle. “We won’t tell on you.” She looks back at you and winks.

“Wow,” You widen your eyes at your mother and father, “Who knew my parents were such ride or dies?”

“I don’t know what that means.” You father speaks up, peeking over his book. “Does this mean we would die for you?”

“Basically.” You shrug, “You’d stick by my side no matter what.” Then you whisper dramatically, “Even when I commit crime.”

“Well, you’d be horrible at committing crime and getting away with it. Do you even notice when you have witnesses?” Your mother tilts her head towards the nurse who is just on your other side, messing with one of the machines that is connected to you.

“Ah dang.” You look at the nurse who is stifling her own laughter and say, “That is unfortunate.” 

“Don’t worry, you’ve been a favorite patient of ours.” Nurse Choi’s eyes fall to you, they’re kind yet playful. “I won’t tell either.”

“Wow.” You nod at her, impressed.

“Speaking of not telling,” Nurse Choi walks across the room and digs into a basket she brought in with her before she is pulling something out. “If you tell Dr. Lee I gave you these…” She walks back towards you when your eyes go wide in pleasant surprise when you spot the bag of spicy chips. 

“On my last day!” You reach for the chips, “I guess I can properly celebrate my last night in this prison.” Then you whip your head in your parent’s direction. “See? This is an example of a ride or die.” 

“Someone just has to sneak you some chips and you think you’re bonded for life or what?” Your mom cocks a brow at you, “I’m your mother! I am the most ride or die there is.”

“Did you sneak me chips?”

“Well, no—”

“—Mom or not…” You cut her off with a grin, “You failed your only daughter.”

“I’m sure your two sisters would love to hear that coming from you.” Your mom conceals a smile, trying her best not to crack and laugh. 

“Well, my two sisters and I haven’t spoken since I was 18 so…and according to you that hasn’t changed in the last nine years.”

Your father clears his throat, clearly feeling uncomfortable. “Anyway, sweetheart, why don’t we do something fun? Want to play a game? Watch a movie?”

“Why don’t we wait for Jungkook?” You lean back onto the bed, eyes going to your fingers as you inspect your cuticles. “He fell asleep yesterday and didn’t come in time for visiting hours.” 

“I’m glad he’s gotten some rest.” Your mom takes a deep breath. “I’ve been so worried for him, you know?” She asks this in your father’s direction. He only frowns in response. 

You feel the slight pang of guilt hit your chest, like someone is knocking against your ribcage from the inside. Jungkook, your best friend since the first week of college. That isn’t where you two met but it’s where you two finally became friends. He has been your best friend for the last six years—well, fifteen years—but nine of those years are lost on you.

“I know it hasn’t been easy on any of you…” You mumble quietly, “I’m sorry for all of this…”

“Honey, what are you doing?” Your mom’s voice is soft enough to know she feels for you but on the edge of scolding to where you know she’s serious. “The accident was not your fault. Just some asshole hit and run.” 

“Yeah but you guys had to deal with all the stress while I slept like a baby.” You try to lighten the mood with a harmless joke but your mom’s expression twists.

“Of course it hasn’t been easy. It still isn’t.” She admits, “But—”

“—But,” You father cuts in, voice soft while your mom looks at him gratefully. “What matters is that you’ve woken up. And you’re here. The rest is something we can work through…your memories will return with time but we can’t rush it…the doctor says you could get overwhelmed.”

“I know.” You sigh out, “But okay, tell me again, some of the things I want to know?”

Your parents glance at the nurse who gives an unsure smile and small nod to her head.

“Which are?” Your mom looks at you again.

“Okay, so I am working woman.” You begin counting on your fingers, “I am not married. I’m still friends with Misuk and Subin. Do I at least have a boyfriend?” You put your hand down. “Oh and I live in a house now. Wow, so adult.” 

Your mom stares at you, the expression in her eyes betray her trying smile. “All correct. You work from home though…but they aren’t expecting you to come back for some time.”

“I still cannot believe I work from home!” You suddenly smile, “That means I never have to get out of my pajamas.”

Your mom continues to stare, eyes still betraying the smile that continues to grow on her face. She looks conflicted. Another pang out guilt hits your chest. You’ve come to pick up on this specific expression…your dad has also shown you it and Jungkook has too. The expression that screams how sad they are but their smiles hold their joy.

“You okay?” You reach for your moms hand and she releases a shaky breath.

“Yes,” She shakes her head as she tries to clear her throat and show you another smile. “It’s just…you said the exact same thing a few years ago when you started working from home. Truth be told, you weren’t excited to be home all the time but you looked at the positive,” She chuckles now, “That you could wear your pajamas while working.”

“…I did?” You blink at her. Absolutely no recollection. And you know she sees the emptiness behind your eyes. “How old was I when I started working from home?”

“Uh,” Your mom looks down at her lap, her throat feeling a slight burn but she ignores it. “Oh when was it?” She wonders to herself.

“I believe you were 28.” Your father answers. He finally closes his book and sets it down to your bed. “Eh, you know us old people can’t remember every little detail.”

“Hey!” You grin at your parents as you try to lighten the mood again. “I’m the one who is supposed to have memory problems!”

Both of your parents crack a smile, “Well, that’s why you have Jungkook.” Your mom’s smile finally looks real again. “The doctor says since he is the person you’ve spent the most time with that he is probably the one who could trigger a lot of memories naturally.” 

“Well,” You lean against the hospital pillow again, “He does know me the best.”

“He does.” Your father agrees, “He’s always been a good guy and even when we couldn’t be here…he was. Every single day he came and stayed with you during your coma.”

“I know, I know.” You don’t mean to have an edge to your voice. “I feel bad about it. Obviously.”

“y/n…” Your mom’s voice is back to scolding. “You should feel blessed that you have people in your life who would do that for you.”

“I know.” You say a bit more softly this time. “How blessed am I though? I don’t even know—”

“—Why does it matter?” Your mom cuts in, cold. “You’re alive. My prayers have been answered.”

“Well, why don’t you pray that I suddenly get my memories back?”

“Maybe God intended for it—”

“—Oh please.” You say dryly. “Right, because this is the better life.”

Your mom stares at you, no smile for her sad eyes to betray. She finally tears her eyes off of you to glance at your father who offers her some sort of comforting smile. You feel the pang of guilt again. You know this has been hard on everyone but damn, you think it’s you who deserves the ‘comfort smile’.

“Anyway,” You tilt your head up towards the ceiling, eyes closed. “I think—Ow! Fuck!” You suddenly yelp when you open your eyes and the lights on the ceiling are blaring down into your eyes. You’re quick to shield your face with your hands. You forgot how sensitive you are to light now thanks to all the head trauma. 

Your mom stands just as quick, her hands on your cheeks, thumb brushing against your cheekbones. “You okay? y/n?” She sounds worried.

“I’m…I’m fine…” You lower your head again, eyes still closed as you continue to shield your face. “Sorry for cussing. I just—”

Your mother snorts to herself, “You’re 33, y/n.” 

“Oh yeah.” You laugh bitterly, “Guess so.” 

Your mom continues to stroke your skin with her thumbs, worried eyes staying on you. Your father is also gripping your ankle from over the hospital blanket. “You guys don’t need to baby me.” You finally open your eyes again, the sensitivity finally easing.

“Let us.” Your father offers a weak smile. 

“Yeah.” Your mom uses the back of her hand to barely skid over your cheek. Then she sits again. “You’ve really grown up on us and I haven’t been able to baby you in years…so let us.”

You soften at their admission. You assume she’s right. You’re technically all grown up now. Your parent’s don’t even live in Seoul but in Busan. And they’ve paused their lives to be here for you but so has—

“—Hey.” 

And just like magic, the same feeling that has drowned you for the past two weeks has returned. Jungkook looks slightly out of breath, his hand resting against the door way as he grins at you. “Hi.” You return his smile with one of your own. “Surprised you showed up. Figured you were too busy.” Then you raise your nose in the air as Jungkook chuckles while walking inside.

You are having trouble with your own reflection, yes. But you are also having trouble with this view. Jungkook is a whole nine years older than you remember. He’s filled out more, body packed with lean muscles and more tattoos that decorate his skin with his own art. His eyes are tired and his jaw is sharp and his once long hair is now short. Maturity is dripping from his features. And you are not used to it. 

“I should have figured you were going to complain that I didn’t show up yesterday.” He comes next to your parents, offering his greetings. “I’m sorry! I fell asleep and by the time I woke up the visiting hours were over.”

“God, it’s almost sad how well I know you.”

“Well, at least some things never change.” Your mom speaks up, obvious joy laced in her tone. “We were just babying our daughter. I’m sure you can guess how she was dealing with it.”

“Oh, right.” Jungkook glances at you before looking at your parents again. 

“I swear if you mock me—”

“—You don’t need to baby me!” Jungkook shows your parents an exaggerated pout on his lips, his hands wiping away imaginary tears.

“I say don’t mock me and he mocks me. Classic.” You roll your eyes but your lips curve into a satisfied smile.

“Like I said,” Your mom barely scoffs, heading shaking. “Some things never change.”

Jungkook can’t help the smile that spreads across his face, something excited but also content. He walks to the other side of the room to grab another chair and he drags it across the tiled floor until it’s placed right next to you on the side of the bed that Nurse Choi is on. Jungkook looks at her with a smile and she greets him.

“I see the best friend is here.” Nurse Choi puts a hand on your shoulder, “Okay, y/n. Your last dose of the good stuff going directly into your veins. Enjoy it because you’ll be missing it once you’re home again.” She giggles.

“Ugh,” You playfully groan, “How will I survive?” 

Everyone laughs but you blink, expression suddenly falling flat. “No, I’m serious.” 

“Oh.” Nurse Choi blinks at you in return before laughing. “Right. No worries, Doctor Lee sent over some pretty strong pain relievers to the pharmacy.”

“He did mention that….” Jungkook waits for the nurse to leave your side before he sits in the chair. “When will they be ready again? I’m the one who is picking them up.”

“Doctor Lee will have a whole set of instructions for you, Jungkook.” Nurse Choi tells him. “He—”

“Aren’t I the patient?” You wonder aloud, “Shouldn’t it be me who gets this set of instructions?”

Nurse Choi softens her features as she eyes you, “You will receive them too. But…y/n…Jungkook is going to be your main helper…right?” She glances at your parents and Jungkook. All three nod. “So, it is important he knows everything. You aren’t going to be totally adjusted for a while.”

“Really looking forward to that.” You huff out, any ounce of excitement totally void from your words. 

“Anyway, you’re all set for the rest of the day. I’ll come check on you periodically but this is pretty much it. You get to leave tomorrow! How exciting!” Nurse Choi grins at everyone in the room, “I’ll leave you all to it then.” And then she is walking away, closing the hospital room door behind her.

“So,” You release a long breath. “What even is the full plan?”

“Well,” Your father shares a look with your mom and Jungkook. “Unfortunately, your mom and I have to return to Busan…if we could stay long—”

“—No, I get it.” You cut him off softly. “You guys have an entire life to get back to.”

Your dad pauses, a solemn expression creeping on his face. “You are our life too.” He assures you. “But it’s important we all get back to a normal routine, you know?” He steals a glance at your mother who is now giving him the ‘comfort smile’. 

“We thought we could just take you to Busan until things…” Your mom trails off, unsure of her own words. “But Jungkook made a good point.”

“Which was?” You ask slowly, eyes sliding to the side as you look at Jungkook. 

“Jungkook is probably the person who could be the most help to you.” Your mom answers, almost sounding hurt that it couldn’t be her. “And your life in Seoul as well.”

“That makes sense.” You agree easily, “Jungkook has always been pretty logical.”

“Thank goodness too.” Jungkook looks at you knowingly, “One of us had to have a brain.”

“Mom? Dad?” You snap your head towards your parents, feigning annoyance. “Are you hearing this? He is insulting me!”

Your mom rolls her eyes, “We all know Jungkook saved you too many times in college. Plus, he basically had to force you to come home to Busan during the holidays. So he’s allowed an insult or two.”

“Wow.” You stare at your mom, betrayed. “Dad?”

Your father raises a hand, silently asking you leave him out of this.

“Didn’t y/n graduate because of me?” Jungkook continues to tease. “Completely different departments yet she was still having me do her homework.” 

“That was one time, Jungkook. And I was sick!” 

“You weren’t sick. You were hungover.” He deadpans.

“Anyway,” Your mom clears her throat, glancing towards her husband. “I’m craving something to drink…maybe a juice or a tea?”

“I was thinking coffee. Should I go grab us something?” You dad responds quickly, “You two want anything either?” He asks you and Jungkook.

“I’ll just go with you.” Your mom begins to stand from her chair. “I can decide when I see my options.”

“Okay.” Your father nods, standing as well. “Nothing for you both?”

“I’m good.” You glance at Jungkook who is rejecting the offer as well.

“You sure?” Your mom links her arm through your dads as they stroll out of the room. “We will be back then.” 

As soon as the rooms door has shut behind your parents, you continue to only gaze at the door. Coughing awkwardly as your eyes roam around the opposite side of the room that Jungkook occupies.

“It’s been two weeks, y/n.” You hear Jungkook mumble from beside you. “Why is it that when we’re alone you completely avoid me?”

“I’m not avoiding you.” You whistle, “Just chillin.”

“Make eye contact with me then.”

“Gross.”

“Look at me.” Jungkook sings out cutely, “Come on.”

“I’m capable.” You roll your eyes before finally shifting them in his direction. “It’s just weird.”

“How is it weird exactly?” 

“Because you look…different.” You mumble lamely as you gesture towards him. “You’re older than I remember so it’s kind of weird.”

“You’re also older than you remember.” He points out innocently but you give him an unimpressed look.

“No shit. And it’s fucking weird!” You whine, clearly making your point.

“So,” Jungkook stretches out in his seat, his long legs spreading out and lifting above the floor as you imagine he is wiggling his toes. Even with nine years having past…he still does this. “You say I look different but is different bad?” He throws a look your way, an eyebrow lifted in curiosity. 

“I never said it was bad.” Well, maybe it is…perspective. “You just look different.”

Hot. Handsome. Sexy. Cute? Adorable? Fine as hell? 

Jungkook keeps his eyes on you before he’s smirking, toes still wiggling as he finishes his stretch. “Older obviously.” 

“Mature.” You shrug. “Something like that.” Then you force your eyes to stay on his and you soften. “But you also look more tired than I ever remember.” 

“Well, it’s been a hectic few…well, yeah. I can imagine.” Jungkook chuckles, “Sorry if I’m looking rougher nowadays.” 

He’s grinning at you but the familiar wave of guilt washes against you, pushing your body uncomfortably. “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all this.” You motion towards yourself with a timid smile. “But according to everyone you stuck by my side the—”

“—Of course I did.” Jungkook’s brows pinch, his expression hardening. “What kind of friend would I be if you were alone in this room?”

“A bad one?” You finally comfortably lock eyes with him and smirk. 

Jungkook stares at you, his own eyes gazing and you can physically see how his features relax. “And when have I ever been a bad friend?”

You lightly scoff, tearing your eyes off his as you start counting on your fingers. “Okay, remember when you—”

Jungkook’s hands go to yours, lowering your fingers back down to your lap as you both laugh. “I should have known you’d list at least something.”

“I was only going to mention when you completely forgot about my existence when you first started dating Misuk! Remember when you canceled on some plans—”

“—That was one time! And let us not forget when you stood me up three times in a row!” Jungkook counters childishly, pout on his lips. “You were fake as hell for that.”

You blink at him before cracking a smile, “I admit I was wrong for that. You didn’t talk to me for four days. I think I went insane.”

“There is no way it was four days.”

You raise an unimpressed brow, “You and I both know—”

“—Okay, fine. It was four days.” A lopsided grin grows on his face, “I was only giving you a taste of your own medicine though.”

“How mature.” You roll your eyes before a soft smile barely turns up your lips. “That’s our biggest fight, huh?”

Jungkook parts his lips to speak but his throat grows a little dry before he manages to swallow, “Life would be way too easy if that was our biggest fight, y/n.” He tries to smile, “But that’s all ancient history now.”

You frown, voice quieter. “Well, for some of us.”

“Can I ask…how long ago was this fight for you? I don’t really remember…”

“For me?” You point at yourself, “Less than a year, probably.”

“Oh wow.” He nods, eyes lowering to his shaking knee. “It feels like a lifetime ago for me.”

“So,” You aim for a subject change. “I feel like everything has been about me and how I will adjust, blah, blah, blah…tell me about your life? You have barely mentioned anything and I am not used to a world where I don’t know every little thing about you.”

Jungkook chuckles at this, his anxious knee pausing. “In your world, you know every little thing about me?” then he continues to shake his knee up and down.

You look at him in a playful disbelief, “Are you serious? Jungkook, I even know what face you make when you really have to poop.” You laugh when he gives you the middle finger. “Well, in my reality you are working on becoming a detective. I assume with how much time has passed you are already one?”

His knee stops again. “I was, yeah.”

“Was?”

“Yeah.” He forces his lips to twist into a smile.

Your eyebrows scrunch in obvious confusion, “And you’re not…anymore?”

Jungkook continues to smile, his knee shaking again. “A lot changes in nine years, y/n.”

Before you can respond, Jungkook speaks again, “You leave tomorrow. Excited?” He’s the one aiming for a subject change now. You decide to comply.

You shrug before groaning, “I don’t know about excited.” You admit hastily. You are. But you aren’t. “I’m going home to a place that isn’t my home.” Then your eyes expand as you look at him innocently, “Apparently our apartment complex got torn down a few years ago?! Can you believe it?!”

Jungkook nods, “Ah, yeah, I remember. It got demolished a year or two after we moved out of there.”

“Unbelievable.” You slump over. “Hey.” You raise your eyes back to him, “Are we still neighbors? Like, do you live in the same neighborhood as me?”

Jungkook laughs, “Not necessarily. I live really close by you though.”

“What?!” You yell out wide eyed. “But we promised we would always be neighbors for the rest of our lives!” 

“We promised that?” He teases.

“Yes.” You tell him with a straight face, “We have been neighbors since we were kids and now we aren’t. I refuse to believe it.”

“It’s only a five minute drive. If that.” Jungkook shakes his head, “Real close to your house.”

And then you immediately brighten, “That’s right. It’s a house. How adult is that?”

He cracks a smile, “Very. I don’t live in a house though. Am I not an adult?”

“You are but a child.” You respond with no pause. “I am really glad you’ll be with me though…I am not sure how comfortable it will be navigating a place that is supposed to be my home.”

Jungkook leans back in the stiff hospital chair, legs feeling weak. “Home doesn’t have to be some building.”

“You know 33 year old me. What’s my home then?” You ask, the uncertainty, the timidness doesn’t go unnoticed by your best friend. “Because for me, 24 year old me, thinks of my home as the apartment I live in—well, not anymore—but also, with you as my neighbor.” Then you mumble, “Home is walking 3 feet to the right and knocking on your front door.”

Jungkook chuckles a little, his fingers lacing together in his lap as he leans forward in the uncomfortable chair. 

“Okay.” You groan louder, head falling into the pillow behind you as you laugh. “That was so cringe! But you get what I mean, right?”

“It wasn’t cringe, y/n.” Jungkook subtly shakes his head, his fingers detangling from one another before he starts cracking his knuckles. “Also,” He lifts his head and smirks at you. “When did you ever knock?”

“That was a cute little detail, huh?” You giggle.

“A cute little lie, yeah.” He smiles as he straightens in the chair again. “I didn’t knock either so I guess we’re even.”

~~~

“Okay.” Your mom holds you at arm’s length, her eyes investigation your face carefully. “You’re sure you’re ready to leave?” Her grip on you feels strong, she bores into your eyes but you don’t verbally answer because she already knows. She sighs before continuing, “Are you sure you don’t want us to come too?”

“It’s okay. Seriously.” You see the worry on your mother’s face. “You guys need to catch your train home. Jungkook’s got it covered!”

“I know…” Your mom glances around the packed parking lot. Eyes dancing across cars, people, street lights and even the cloudy sky. “I know he will.” She steals a quick moment with Jungkook, their eyes locking and he nods in assurance before she’s looking at you again.

“I will call you every day.” You promise your mom and dad. “Well, when I get a phone.”

“We will go tomorrow, don’t worry.” You hear Jungkook say from beside you.

“Okay.” Your mom nods. “Please take everything Dr. Lee said seriously, y/n.  Be careful with bright lights, loud sounds…and when you get one of your headaches—”

“—I know, I know.” You smile, body softly lunging forward when you bring your mother in for a hug. Her grip on you is still strong, tense even. “I’ll take things slowly. And I won’t miss one single appointment.”

You feel her relax, “Don’t push yourself too hard. And remember, if you feel like you’re remembering something…don’t force yourself to think about it too hard. Nine years is a lot and Dr. Lee is worried your brain will go into overdrive and you’ll…” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “Get too overwhelmed.”

“Slow and steady.” You lean away, “I know.” 

“Okay, my turn.” Your dad tugs at your arm, a tender smile on his face. Your mom lets you go, her worried eyes find your fathers but he only waves her off. “This is good.” He tells her before he’s got his arms wrapping around you. “We better be your first phone call.” He hugs you tightly before letting go.

“Okay, we really do need to leave.” Your mom sighs, “Jungkook.”

He nods at her, “I’ll keep you both updated.”

She smiles gratefully, “I know.”

You watch as your parent’s disappear, your heart growing slower in its beats. You have enjoyed spending the last two weeks with them. With you moving from Busan to Seoul for college years ago, seeing your parents became more and more scarce. Holidays being the center of your visits. It feels bittersweet.

“Okay, ready?” Jungkook speaks from behind you now, a hesitant hand coming to your shoulder. “To go home?”

You stare out into the parking lot, one, long breath leaving your lips slowly. “Wherever that is.” You grumble before spinning in your spot and giving Jungkook a smile. “Okay, where’s The Magnet?” You ask him, eyes roaming around again.

Jungkook blinks at you with wide eyes. “The Magnet?” He tries not to laugh. “You think after all these years I would still have the car I got in high school?” 

You mouth opens in disbelief and disappointment. “Don’t tell me he doesn’t exist anymore.” 

“I am in my thirties,” He tries to conceal his toothy grin. “That car would have killed me by now.”

“Nonsense. That car only ever wanted to help you.” You counter.

“Did you ever think that I’m the reason girls wanted me in high school? And not my car?”

“No, I know no one wanted you for your car.” You chuckle. “Trust me. That car had to grow on me. Ugly as hell. But for some reason, you managed to hook up with girls and the stories were always about how it was in the backseat of that deathtrap. He was the babe magnet.” 

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “I was in high school. It’s not like I could bring them home to my childhood bedroom. Had to do it somewhere.” He shrugs cockily.

“I never believed those rumors about my innocent little neighbor.” You laugh to yourself, remembering the old days. “You know, until I was out on a night run—”

“—Dangerous, by the way.” He cuts in quickly but you continue.

“And I see your car parked in front of your house and you getting busy with someone.” You dramatically shudder and he laughs loudly, shaking his head at the memory you claim to have seen.

“Anyway, I got rid of that car years ago. Come on,” He nods vaguely in another direction in the parking lot. “Let’s go.”

~

The air around you feels cold, stale and uninviting. You are standing in the entry way of your ‘home’…the place you apparently live. But everything feels foreign to you. Out of reach, out of place, out of your own reality. It feels like standing in a strangers home that you broke into. 

You glance around and your body feels weak when you don’t notice any evidence of 24 year old you around at all. No sign that the you that you knows even exists. And the cold, distant feeling that swallows you only grows. You understand the concept of taking things slowly. You understand the warnings you have been given. “Adjusting will take time.”  As you look around a strangers home, you feel the weight of those words. You are wondering if adjusting is even something you’ll achieve. 

“Wow,” You gulp in your spot, eyes darting from place to place. The decoration on the walls, the decorative pillows on the sofa, the lack of personal touch making this harder to believe this is your home.

Jungkook stands next to you, his own eyes taking in your place. You look over at him and he looks as lost as you feel. Like he doesn’t believe it’s your home either. But then he exhales a long breath before speaking, “I took down a few things.” He tells you. “Framed photos and other things that might feel too…” He pauses, chewing his lip as he comes up with the right wording. “…Too unreal for you.”

“Oh.” You blink at his side profile, letting his words process as you realize it might have been a good idea. You don’t recognize so much already.

“I thought if you saw memories that are not your own…it could…” He grows quieter, “I don’t know. Not exactly a natural way to trigger memories but more of a shock for you.”

You realize he is right. The idea of seeing you, yourself, in scenarios that you couldn’t even imagine because you just wouldn’t know…feels like it could send you spiraling. You understand too well now…how taking it slow truly is the smartest thing. “Yeah.” You mumble, “I don’t think seeing that would…feel very good.” You admit with a sadness in your voice. 

“Hey,” Jungkook turns towards you, his feet shuffling forward slowly. “One step at a time. I know the you that you know. And I also know the you that you don’t. I’m with you every step of the way.” He is almost whispering. His voice gone so soft and quiet like he’s trying to share secrets with you despite the fact you are both alone and no one else can hear.

“Thank you.” You slowly close your eyes, the tension in your forehead easing. “I know so much has changed in nine years,” You open your eyes again, an annoyed scoff leaving your lips. “Trust me, I can see how much everything has changed. I fucking hate it.” You try to smile but your throat feels tight as you speak. “But I am so glad nothing between us has.”

Jungkook’s fingers twitch against his thigh, the urge to touch you to offer comfort but he remains calm. “You will always be my best friend. y/n.” He continues to speak quietly.

You clear your throat, “And as my best friend,” You slide your eyes towards your living room. “Why the hell did you let me buy this ugly ass couch?” You raise a finger towards it.

Jungkook’s head whips in the direction as he snorts, the atmosphere feeling a little lighter. “I told you it was ugly.” He defends, “But you were so sold on it.” 

You finally take the real first steps into your home, your feet taking you closer to the sofa before your fingers slide against the top of it. “It must have been on clearance there is no way—”

“—Full price.” Jungkook bites down onto his bottom lip with a grin. “I’m telling you,” He follows closely behind you. “You were obsessed.”

“Wow,” You say under your breath as you continue to eye the sofa. “Turns out I’m a loser now.”

He snorts again, a pleasant rumble in his chest. “You’ve always been a loser.” He bumps into your side playfully and you roll your eyes at him. “I am too though. Isn’t that how we basically became friends?” He reminds you with a sparkle in his eyes. They’ve been dim but sometimes they light up like this.

You shrug but nod in agreement nonetheless, “I wouldn’t say we were losers but okay, kind of.” You respond, the memory so clear of your first week in Seoul, attending University for the first time. When you and Jungkook actually became friends.

“Keep exploring?” Jungkook grips the top of the couch with his hand, “Or?”

“No, yeah, let’s keep going.” Your feet slide against the floors as you take a look around. You’re impressed with your kitchen ware, that’s for sure. You’re also impressed with your well decorated bathrooms and guest room. Even your bedroom seems like something you’d like. 

Relief.

“I was worried my bedding would be totally hideous.” Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, concealing a relieved smile. “But this is cute and it feels nice.”

Jungkook stares at your comforter, his fingers barely feeling the fabric. “I liked your comforter before this better.” He mumbles, slight frown on his face. 

“Ignorance is bliss.” You shrug, “Okay. Clothes.” 

Jungkook leads you into your closet, looking a little emptier than you’d assume. “I guess when you work from home you don’t need a million outfits.” You glide your fingers over a bunch of hung clothing before you stop and examine a blouse. “Is…is this what’s in style now? Didn’t think this would come back.” You hang the shirt again and keep browsing. 

You drag your fingers against a variety of fabrics again before your fingertips alert you that they are touching something familiar. Something you do know. “Hey!” You light up immediately, hands scurrying over the hangers as you show off the shirt you’d just found. “My favorite shirt!” You hold it up, proud you still have it. Jungkook’s face falls into something uneasy. Or maybe dubiety. “You still…” He pauses, eyes still glued to the shirt. “You still have that?”

“Apparently.” You smile. “Why would I get rid of my favorite shirt? I mean,” You jiggle it around, “It’s cool. Stylish. But still so soft and comfortable that I even sleep in it!” 

“That’s because it’s a million years old.” Jungkook chuckles, though he looks tense. “I bought that shirt for a first date, didn’t I?” He wonders aloud, “But you stole it before I even got to wear it.” He laughs now, body relaxing a little. “I thought you would have gotten rid of it by now.”

“Oh,” You smirk at him, “Maybe you don’t know 33 year old me as well as you claim?”

You look back at the shirt and feel a huge wave of relief softly crash into you. Not everything has changed.

You and Jungkook head back into the living room, taking a seat on the couch you claim to hate so much as you continue to chat. It is the strangest sensation…speaking with someone you feel like you know but the Jungkook you know isn’t the one sitting with you now. It feels familiar, of course. But still strange. Still strange to see Jungkook as a man. Just like yourself, he is the same but different. 

“Well,” You lean against the couch cushion. “It’s Tuesday. We should probably get ready for dinner, right?

Jungkook rests against the couch as well, sitting in the spot he claimed is ‘his’. “Sure. Is there anything you’re craving?”

You almost want to punch him in the face! How dare he ask a question with an answer as obvious as this. Your brows pull together as you speak slowly, “Uh, it’s Tuesday.” 

The look on his face tells you he is not understanding. So you repeat, trying not to sound too annoyed. “It’s Tuesday, dude.”

He looks around for a moment, still a little confused before it hits him. “Ah,” He opens his mouth when he realizes. “You want barbeque and soju.” 

Bingo.

“Well, yeah.” You say with a little attitude. “It’s our tradition.” You remind him, “One of them…we haven’t broken it in years. Right?” You ask the question but you’re starting to realize you know the answer and it just feels like another thing you cannot accept.

“Right, right.” Jungkook answers carefully but you see through it.

“So have we?”

He sighs out, softening. “It’s just…it’s harder to keep up with so many things nowadays.”

You knew it. Your heart pinches and the sting is lingering in your chest. “Do we still have movie nights every Sunday?”

“Um,” He looks around awkwardly and you don’t even want an answer anymore. “It has been a while.”

You huff out, knowing yourself well enough to know you feel hurt right now but you try to keep it light. “Wow, getting older is stupid.” You force a laugh. “Life really got to us, huh?”

“To everyone.” He gives you a smile. “Also, you know damn well you aren’t allowed to have alcohol.”

“A girl can dream.” 

Jungkook orders take out for you both and within an hour, you’re eating happily on your ugly sofa. Your favorite place from college is still kicking and no recipes have changed. It tastes as good as you remember.

“Subin,” Jungkook points his phone in your direction, showing you the screen. “Says that her and Misuk will get here around 5pm tomorrow. And,” He taps the screen so it lights up again since it’s dimmed. “She’s,” He reads the text. “Never been more ready to see her oh my god!” He quotes one of your besties in a high pitched voice.

You can’t help but giggle, “I’m excited too. Sucks they couldn’t visit in the hospital.”

“Because—”

“—I know.” You say softly. “I have to ease into life, I get it.”

“Yeah.” He nods, sliding his phone away from him on the couch.

“My life is lame though. I still want to know more about yours!”

“My life is probably more lame than yours.” He tells you and you snort. “I’m serious!”

“Still,” You grow more serious, “I’m curious, you know? You could start with telling me what happened with the whole detective thing?”

Regret visits you immediately when you see Jungkook’s face pale and his expression growing distant. “Um,” He shakes his knee up and down, eyes darting in every direction. He does not want to talk about it. 

“Forget it.” You smile, voice gentle. He sighs, relaxing once again because you saved him from a conversation he might just not be in the mood for. “What else?” You ask. “Do you…uh, do you have a girlfriend? Or wife? You are old.”

“You’re old too.” He deadpans then shakes his head. “But no. Not really in the place for that right now.” 

“What a pair of besties, huh?” You begin to joke. “Both going to die alone.”

He laughs, “I forget you used to be more cynical. But anyway,” He lifts his legs onto the sofa, getting more comfortable. “If it’s too much for you, feel free to tell me to fuck off but…where exactly are you all at? With your memories and um, the point of life you’re in, I guess.”

“Ah, that’s mostly easy.” You tell him, brushing off any concerns he has. “When I woke up some of the things I remember thinking is that I’ll be 25 soon and what I plan on doing to celebrate but also, I remember I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks.” 

“Wedding?” Jungkook thinks about it for a moment. “Wait…Sana’s wedding?”

“Yeah!” 

“So that’s where you’re at.” Then he smiles at nothing. “That’s interesting.”

“Is it?” You tilt your head but Jungkook chuckles to himself, looking playful. 

“Anyway,” He yawns, “Tomorrow we will get you a new phone since yours wasn’t recovered in the accident. Is there anything else you want to buy while we’re out?”

“Besides groceries?”

“Besides groceries.”

“Not really.” You say until you’re yawning yourself. “You know, maybe 33 year old me was onto something. This couch is comfortable as hell.”

“Yeah, it is.” He gazes at you, smile forming. “Do you know how many nights you have slept on this couch instead of a bed?”

“I’m so loyal to this thing.” You pat the cushion until your eyes go wide. “Oh my god,” Your fingers rub over the couch material. “This stain looks awful.” 

Jungkook raises his brows before his eyes follow your hand and he goes still. He stares at the stain you pointed out and you notice immediately. He tries to lick his lips but it feels like even his tongue has dried out. 

“Jungkook?” You call out for him but he continues to stare and you notice when his eyes look glossy. “You okay?”

Jungkook blinks repeatedly for a moment, shaking himself out of his thoughts before he looks up at you. “Yeah, sorry.” He laughs awkwardly, “It’s just…um, someone spilled hot chocolate on the couch a few years ago and it never came out. You were so mad.” He laughs for real now but a sadness still lurks.

“Jungkook are you—”

He sniffles to himself, trying his best to smile for you. “Sorry if it seems like I’m getting a little emotional. It’s just harder than I thought…I see so much evidence of a life you’ve lived but you don’t remember much of it.”

The pinch your heart feels this time almost makes you flinch. You’re both quiet, mutual understanding how complex this all feels. Your eyes drop back down to your hand, fingers still rubbing the cushion. While you see a stain…Jungkook sees a story.

~~~

“The wild thing is that we never notice when quality of stuff is actually getting better because it’s so gradual! But dude!” You keep snapping photos with your new phone. You already have pictures of the sky, trees and even one selfie you aren’t proud of. “Nine years and I can tell you the camera quality is nothing like I remember! But,” You go into the photo library and eye the selfie you took. “Maybe it’s too good. I need it blurrier. I was prettier when the camera sucked more.”

You can hear Jungkook laughing from your kitchen before he yells out, “I’ll buy you a shitty camera if that makes you feel better.”

You roll your eyes, finger still swiping as you view pictures you’ve taken today, you mumble, complaining to yourself. “No, y/n, how could you say you don’t look absolutely breathtaking in your phone from the future? You’re the most gorg—”

“—I can hear you.” Jungkook says from behind you, giddiness in his voice. “And I never said you weren’t pretty.” 

You jump in your spot, body whipping in his direction. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Jungkook brings a hand to his chest, feigning his hurt. “I’d never do that to your heart.” He then walks around the couch to take a seat with you. “Alright, you’ve taken your medicine for the day but remember two of them you take at night as well.”

“I know.” You go back to looking at your new phone. 

“We have a few hours to kill before Subin and Misuk get here…I was thinking we could watch a movie. You haven’t seen any new movies since 2014 so this is going to be fun.” He grabs the remote for your TV and pulls up Netflix. “Movies, shows, music…all great things to trigger memories!” 

“Are you going to play one of my favorites that I don’t even know about?”

“Yes.”

You narrow your eyes at your best friend who starts browsing the catalog, “And you swear you aren’t going to show me a movie you love and claim I love it, right?”

He pauses his browsing before he turns his head to you, his lips curving into something devious. “Okay, well now I’m not.” He admits completely shamelessly.

“Idiot.” You chuckle, watching as he goes back to looking for something to watch. After a few minutes of Jungkook talking to himself as he decides on which movie, you decide to propose something to him. “Hey…” You call out softly, urging him to give his attention to you instead.

And he looks at you immediately. “Hm?”

“Last night…after you left.” You begin, a warmth spreading across your chest as you suddenly feel a bit embarrassed. “Being alone here…uh, I don’t know, it kind of felt like I was in a house with ghosts and none of them want me here.” 

Jungkook’s brows furrow, pity etched on his face before he nods, trying his best to understand. 

“And I just think…” You try to continue, but you keep trailing off, hoping he’s getting it. “You know, that maybe, I don’t want to…be…” You gesture around, warmth spreading to your neck and up your ears and finally on your cheeks.

“Alone?” He asks.

You gulp as if that is your entire response. And he knows.

“I get that.” He tells you, “I can stay with you tonight.”

“Really?” You ask him, feeling shy all the sudden and it makes you laugh internally. “Okay, thanks.”

It’s almost 5 now and unfortunately no movie triggered anything. You’re a little disappointed but it’s okay. It’s just day two of returning to life. Plus, how can any feeling of disappointment linger for too long when you’re buzzing in excitement. Seeing two of your closest friends. Misuk and Subin.

You met Misuk your sophomore year of college and she was in the same department as Jungkook before he switched. You met her because she, for a brief period of time, was Jungkook’s girlfriend. They broke up mutually, understanding there wasn’t more than just friendship between the two. 

Although, Misuk gave you her true reasoning. You laughed about it then but as you’ve gotten older you realize maybe she was right. Regardless, she still stands by it…that friendship was better. 

You are the one who brought Subin into your small circle. You met her around the same time because of a mutual elective and she fit in with you, Jungkook and Misuk like a glove. Your friendship with the two girls is something you treasure and you’re so happy to know that it hasn’t changed all these years later.

You get taken from your thoughts as you reminisce about your friends when your front door is being gently knocked. You rise from the sofa and take a deep breath as your eyes find Jungkook’s. You feel nervous for some silly reason but so does he. You reckon you’re rubbing off on him. 

You both go towards your front door and you open it. Door swinging towards you, a fresh gust of air blowing through and your lips part at the view. Well, damn. Everyone looks different.  

Subin used to be a make-up fanatic, no matter the day or the event she always had some glamorous look. Her hair used to be long and always decorated in bows and clips. But now, her face is bright, natural and free of anything and her hair…a whole ass pixie cut. 

Misuk looks more like how you remember but instead of the bob she always had, her hair falls down to the middle of her back but her style is more or less the same. 

“y/n!” Subin shrieks in excitement before she throws her hand over her mouth, eyes wide in terror. “Oh my god.” She lowers her hand as she panics. “I know loud noises are—”

“—Are you hugging her first or me?” Misuk cuts Subin off, “Hurry.”

Subin bites her lip and offers you a look of apology. “Me, please.” She raises a hand cutely. 

You crack a smile at your friends before you open your arms, offering some affection. You kind of questioned it was even them…so many changes but you realize their voices, their gestures…it’s them. 

Subin is quick to grin at you, her arms wrapping around your middle as she sways you gently from side to side. “You look great.” She tells you before pulling away. 

Misuk is quick to hug you herself, her body stays still unlike Subin, but her hands rub at your back. “You really do.” She says, pulling back now. “I thought you’d still have cuts and bruises and I don’t know,” She pinches your cheek, “Like ten casts on your body and looking like a total badass.” 

“A badass?” You giggle, throat feeling tight because suddenly this is strange. Like everything is.

“Of course.” Misuk nods, “I was going to tell everyone that you fought off an entire gang and won.” And then she gestures towards you, “And though you made it out alive, you still, you know…” She tries not to laugh but Subin starts giggling and so Misuk cracks as well. “Is that not a good story?”

“No, it’s way cooler.” You sniff, lips spread into a smile. “Come in!”

You step back, letting the girls in and they both slip their shoes off, glancing around your home and also seeing Jungkook here behind you. 

“Hi Subin.” Jungkook gives her a closed lip smile and a small wave to his hand.

Subin returns his smile, her eyes going to Misuk before she looks at Jungkook again and she gives him a quick hug. “Hey.” She greets sweetly.

“Misuk.” Jungkook looks at your other friend now too, his stance less relaxed than before. She barely even looks at him as she brushes past you all and goes to your couch. 

“Wow,” She whistles out, “This place looks so empty without your millions of photos.” 

“Uh, yeah.” You follow everyone into your living room. “Better that way.”

Misuk keeps looking around, “I guess.” 

Everyone kind of stands around, unsure of what to say. You can understand…they probably don’t know what to talk about. They’re aware of the fact you’re living in a different time than them but all you want is some normalcy. But this atmosphere isn’t that.

“Anyone want tea?” Jungkook suddenly asks. “I could go make some.”

“Oh!” Subin lights up, “I’d love—”

“—Why are you even here?” Misuk looks over at Jungkook. You’d think she’s glaring but that would not make sense. “We’re here. You don’t have to keep an eye on y/n. We got it.”

Jungkook’s jaw slightly clenches, his eyes on Misuk’s. She doesn’t look away, instead she raises her brows at him, as if urging him to answer the question. 

“Do you want tea or not?” He asks her with a low voice.

“Why don’t you ask me something I actually want to answer.” She responds, voice as low. “Like, ‘do you want me to leave or not?’ because then yes, yes I would.” 

Jungkook’s eyes go to the ceiling for a moment, his tongue pushing against his cheek. You look between your two friends and the strange feeling from earlier has transitioned into discomfort. Jungkook finally releases a long breath, his eyes going to you and Subin now. “I’ll make the tea.” 

“T-Thanks.” Subin’s worried eyes go between Jungkook and Misuk.  

Misuk rolls her eyes, her lips pressing into one another before she shrugs. “I guess we’re having tea.”

“Misuk.” Subin says her name carefully but you know a warning when you see one.

“What?” 

She quickly shakes her head and smiles at you now, “You know Misuk can get moody when she hasn’t eaten all day!”

“Have you not eaten today?” You glance at Misuk, feeling worried. “It’s dinner time already!”

Misuk takes a seat on the sofa and Subin plops down right next to her, “I was stuck in meetings all day. Had no time.” She shrugs, “Plus, Subin has no excuse.”

You look at Subin now, clearly puzzled. “Have you not eaten either?” But she only waves you off cutely.

“I have.” She confirms. “I’m just on a diet!”

“Why are you on a diet?” You eye her over. Nine years later and she still has an incredible figure.

“I have wedding photos next week and I want to look amazing.” She pouts. “Since I’m not having an actual fancy wedding I only really need to worry about these photos.” 

Your jaw drops in slow motion, “You’re getting married?!”

Then Subin blushes, suddenly looking shy yet giddy. “Right, sorry. That would be new information for you…I’m so sorry.” 

“No, no. Congrats.” You can’t help it when your lips turn up. “That’s incredible…honestly.”

“Thank you. Um, his name is Garam and we’ve been together for around four years now?” She continues to blush, “And you guys get along well. Well, you will.” She rushes to correct herself, “Um, when you meet…again.”

“Right.” Your mind returns to this unknown place. You look at Misuk now. “What about you? Married? Single?”

“Definitely not married.” She chuckles, “But…” She pauses before smirking. “Not entirely single either though?”

“Oh?” You wiggle your brows, “Who is the lucky man?” 

Misuk bites onto her top lip, a bashful looking smile spreading. “Woman, actually.”

“Huh?” Your eyebrows climb to your hairline, lips parting as you blink at your friend over and over. “Wow.” You start to slowly nod your head, “A lot does change in nine years.”

The room goes silent for a few awkward moments, you three girls exchanging blank stares and then suddenly Subin is the first to bust out an unattractive laugh before you and Misuk join her. Immediately so much tension in the room breaking and falling away. 

All three of you are basking in your own laughter and each other’s. Suddenly, things feel more like the old days. “You’re into girls now. Noted.” You conceal your teasing smile but Misuk shakes her head.

“I’m into boys too!” She tells you. “That hasn’t changed. But I don’t know, out of nowhere I realized they aren’t the only ones.”

You snort, “So is it serious?”

“Not at all.” Misuk shrugs, “But it is fun.”

“I did not see this coming.” You start trying to think of college and after and what hints there might have been.

“That’s true.” Subin giggles, “When Misuk first told us, you,” She points at you. “Literally choked on fried chicken while I—”

“While she pointed at me and said ‘I knew it’” Misuk fills you in. “I swear she didn’t though.”

“You literally said my ex roommate was so hot you wanted her to ride your face.” Subin raises a brow, “One time, okay. But you said is every time you saw her and I said to myself. ‘yeah, she ain’t straight.’” 

You fall back into the couch cushion, shoulders shaking as you laugh. “No way.” 

“Oh wow.” Subin stares at you with soft eyes. “I can’t really remember the last time I saw you laugh like that. Or smile this much.”

You relax, smile still on your lips. “Hm?”

She shares a look with Misuk, her eyes looking watery when she gazes at you again. Subin is known for crying easily but you see actual hurt on her features but also relief. “You look so…” She pauses and sighs out. “Bright eyed? Happy?” Then she looks at you even more softly. “It’s nice.”

“It is nice.” Misuk says quietly. “Really nice.”

“Okay?” You look between them, feeling unsure of their words. “I—”

“—Okay, I made tea. It’s still really hot but you all can help yourself whenever. Um,” Jungkook comes into the living room, hands on the back of the couch right behind you. “I actually need to run a quick errand.” Then his hand finds your shoulder and he gives you a gentle squeeze. “Be back.”

Subin sings out a ‘See ya later’ while Misuk checks her phone. You watch as Jungkook leaves, the door shutting quietly behind him. You turn your attention back to the girls, a frown pulling at your lips.

“I hope he didn’t leave because Misuk was being moody…” You mumble more to yourself.

“Moody.” Misuk scoffs before she glares at Subin. 

You exhale a deep breath, “Everything feels so different. I didn’t think things would feel so…” You feel your throat getting tight but you swallow hard, opening some space. “Lots of changes.”

“Things…have changed.” Subin smiles. “It’ll get easier once you…” She stops to nibble on her lips, she realizes no words will really help. She can’t imagine what you’re experiencing. 

“Have things changed,” You gesture between you three. “Between us?”

Subin and Misuk share a look, both harboring strange expressions. Because everything is strange.

“Yeah.” Subin decides to admit, “But that’s normal. We just aren’t,” She looks at Misuk for help and internally groans when Misuk doesn’t pick up on it. “Well, we aren’t as close as back in the day.”

“Oh.” Another pinch to your heart. 

“But hey,” Misuk finally speaks, “That’s what happens when you get older, you know? Everyone has their lives. It’s completely normal, I promise.”

You know that something like that is normal. But reality is much harsher than you were anticipating. 

~

It’s dark outside. The sun hiding away. You don’t blame it since you also want to hide away. You have a random blanket wrapped around your body as you sink deeper into the couch, only the sounds of your breaths and the ticking of a clock that hangs on the living room wall. 

Misuk and Subin left a little while ago and Jungkook is still gone. You’re here in a house you don’t know with ghosts who don’t want you. It’s lonely. You want to convince yourself that the thing causing your lonesome is the empty house but you know it’s because everything you know doesn’t exist anymore and you’re stuck in that place. The place of the past. 

Except for you it isn’t the past. 

Finally, your head snaps up when you hear Jungkook opening the front door. He looks confused as he glances around, “Why are you in the dark?” He asks you, his fingers feeling up the wall as he finds the light switch. The light comes on suddenly and you yelp. 

“The light!” You whine, head falling into your hands. “Too much, too much.”

Jungkook’s eyes expand, panic filling them as he rushes to flip the switch off. “Fuck. Sorry, sorry.” He mutters quickly, feeling bad about it. “I forgot, I’m so sorry.” 

You try to laugh a little, “Hey, I’m the one who is supposed to forget stuff, not you, buddy.”

Jungkook rubs his temples, worry still written all over his face. You don’t see it but you know. The only light on is one from a hall way so warm light barely spills enough into the living room…enough to guide Jungkook to you. He sits right next to you on the sofa and with no thought his hands go to either of your cheeks. 

“You okay?” He asks you soothingly. “I’m so sorry…fuck, I really…”

His fingers on your skin feels familiar. Of course it does. The familiarity makes your head feel woozy though. “I am.” You look at him in the dark. “It’s okay. It calms down pretty quickly. But my head does hurt…”

“Have you taken your night dosage yet?” He asks, thumbs stroking both cheeks. You shake your head no in his hold. “I told you 9pm didn’t I? It’s almost 10.” 

“I don’t think one hour is a huge deal difference.”

“It is.” He scolds you, finally dropping his hands from your face. “You have to take this seriously.”

“Okay, okay.” You groan, wrapping the blanket tighter. “I just…can I relax for one second?”

Jungkook tilts his head, his worried expression only growing. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You snap. “Seriously, just…” 

“Hey,” Jungkook’s voice softens and it immediately relaxes you more. “Are you feeling okay? You have headache…anything else?”

You close your eyes in defeat, body falling against the cushions again. “Everything else.” Your voice cracks, “I feel so fucking stressed. I…” 

“I know this must be hard for you.”

“I barely got told any life altering things today about some of the things I’ve missed…and Jungkook, the doctor was right. Even that…” Your throat burns as you speak. “I’m so fucking overwhelmed with everything.”

“I—”

“—And,” you continue to vent. Your eyes stinging now as well. “I just don’t know how I can handle more…I don’t want to.”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at this. He knows how hard you’ve been trying and he wishes he could make it easier for you.

“y/n…” He rubs your arm over the blanket. “Nine years is a lot. You have plenty of time to adjust. Day by day…step by step. I’m here with you. For all of it.” He swallows hard. “I promise all of it.”

“Yeah?” You wipe at your nose, your eyes and nose feeling a little leaky. 

“Yeah.” He tells you earnestly, his body pressing against yours when he leans in to hug you. He feels warm against you, firm too. You’re still wrapped in the blanket so you don’t hug him back but his scent that suffocates you feels enough like you are. 

This is the first time Jungkook really hugs you since you’ve woken up. He hugged you briefly when you woke from the coma but you didn’t totally register it at the time. Now you are. His scent floods your nostrils so heavily that you think his scent now fills up your veins. It’s all so familiar. Old and new.

~~~

The next few days go by slowly—in a good way—things feel a bit better than before. You and Jungkook have spent your time at home, cooking together and watching more movies and TV shows. He even shows you music you apparently love, even adding, “I wish I was you! You’re so lucky you’re wiped of remembering this album and listening to it again like the first time.” And you replying with a snort, “Did you just call me lucky for having amnesia?” and then you adding, “God, why couldn’t my brain wipe out all of the Avatar the last Airbender series so I could watch it again like it’s the first time.”

It goes like this and it feels so pleasant. Yes, fucking pleasant. 

But pleasantries don’t last forever. 

You and Jungkook wrap up the night, changing into pajamas and washing up for bed. You’re returning from the kitchen with a glass of water when you see Jungkook fluffing up a pillow before getting comfortable to sleep on the couch.

“Why do you sleep out here? Why don’t you sleep in the guest room?” You point down the hall, “Don’t you—”

“No, it’s okay.” Jungkook mumbles, his eyes focusing on the hallway from where he lays. “Um, not a fan of that bed so I will just sleep here.” 

You eye him curiously before shrugging it off. “Whatever you say. Night,” You sing out cutely, “See you tomorrow.”

“Don’t forget I’ll be busy tomorrow and won’t see you until the evening.” Jungkook reminds you, “I already bought the wine for movie night tomorrow. Since it’s Sunday after all.”

“Not fair that you can drink and I can’t.” You groan, “But anyway, what are you doing on a Sunday?”

“I just have things to take care of.” He responds simply. “You’re hanging out with Subin during the day right?”

“Yes, yes.” You roll your eyes. “Don’t worry, Subin is willing to babysit me.”

“It isn’t like that.” Jungkook frowns, “You know that.”

“I know.” You soften, “Night, Jungkook.”

~

Another thing that is taking some time to get used to is all the differences throughout the city of Seoul. New shops, restaurants, cafes…the list goes on. Of course lots of places and things you do recognize but so much new, new, new. 

Subin drove the both of you to a favorite restaurant of hers with a ‘to die for breakfast selection’, saying she only found it a few months ago so even 33 year old you isn’t familiar with it. Which somehow feels relieving. 

You’re both seated at a small table against a window, menus in hands as you wait for the server to come to you both for your orders. It feels nice being out, the feeling of a friend showing you a new place is almost normal. It’s not a place you’re supposed to know and that’s a great thought. 

“I really need to pee. Bathroom?” You look up from the menu, eyes on Subin.

“Oh,” She lifts a hand to point behind her. “Down that way! Do you know what you want? If the server comes before you’re back I can order for us.”

“Oh, fantastic.” You grin, setting the menu down and sliding it in front of her. “I want this.” You point excitedly. “But can you ask for the potatoes to be extra crispy.”

“You got it.” She offers a thumbs up.

You get up quickly to head to the bathroom. After you finish using the toilet, you stand in front of the bathrooms mirror at the sink, washing your hands. A heavy feeling is pushing against your forehead and you curse yourself for forgetting to bring extra pain relievers. Maybe it’s because of the florescent lights in here and they’re messing with you.

Once you make it back to the table, you rest your head in your hands. “Head is killing me.” You explain before Subin can even ask. She chews on her lips, feeling bad about your state. “Did you order?” You raise your head again, hoping the pressure on the other side of your skull eases.

“I did!” Subin smiles at you. “We will be eating delicious food in no time.”

“I cannot wait.” You return her smile. “So, your wedding photos are this coming week, right?”

“Ugh, yes.” Subin squeals quietly on the other side of the table. “Today is my one cheat meal so don’t judge me.”

“Right, right.” You chuckle, “So is there a reason you guys aren’t having a wedding?”

“Garam and I?” She points at herself innocently. “Well, we don’t really want to make a huge thing about it. We’re going to do it the easy, simple way. No wedding.” She shrugs, soft smile pulling up her lips. “The photos are our fancy time.”

You frown at her words, “But you always talked about your dream wedding…”

“Oh.” She blinks at you before cracking another smile. “I guess I used to, huh? Ah, well, I am way more practical nowadays.” 

You hate the feeling inside your chest. Like this is another thing you don’t want to accept. “Everyone is so different…” You mumble, eyes going to the water on the table. 

“Not completely!” Subin rushes to say, her cheery voice still intact, trying her best to steer you away from disappointment. “For example…” She starts thinking, “According to what you know about me…you know, as a 24 year old…what do you think I ordered for breakfast?”

You immediately sigh out, not even wanting to answer.

“Oh, come on.” Subin grins, pushing you to answer. “No matter where I go I always got the same thing, right?”

You sigh again. “Two blueberry pancakes. Exactly three slices of bacon. Scrambled eggs…runny. And of course, a very random side of shredded cheese.”

“It’s not random! It’s for the eggs and you know this!” Subin pouts at you playfully. 

You shake your head but you can’t control when your lips twitch to smile. “Anyway,”

You both continue chatting for a little while longer. She tells you more about Garam and how they met and fell in love. It’s still strange hearing all of this when you’re already supposed to know it. But since you aren’t directly involved it feels…manageable. 

Suddenly, Subin’s eyes light up when she notices the server coming with the food behind you. And the next thing you know, plates of food are now on the table, both in front of you and Subin and it smells delicious.

“Anything else?” The server asks, her voice kind and patient.

You look at the food and sigh in contentment before looking up to respond, “No I think—“ But you come to a sudden halt the moment your eyes meet hers. It’s almost immediate when your brows pull together in confusion, maybe concentration. She looks at you with a similar expression.

“O-Okay.” She nods quickly. “I-If that’s—that’s all then I…” She blinks down at you, something unsettling falling on her features. 

You can’t look away from her face. There is something so familiar about this woman. But not familiar in the way that you actually know. No, familiar in a way that you have yet to uncover. You glance to her name tag…’Nabi’. And swallow hard. You don’t know that name? You don’t know her. But it feels like there is a memory that lingers annoyingly on your tongue like a flavor you can’t quite pin. But it isn’t enough.

“Do I know you?” You blurt without much realization.

Nabi’s eyes go wide before she’s shaking her head and forcing an awkward smile, “Oh, no. No. I probably have one of those faces, you know?” She laughs now. You watch her carefully before giving a curt nod.

“Okay, sorry.” You look back down at your food and then to Subin and you smile at her. “Let’s dig in.”

A man comes to the table as well, handing Nabi another plate while she takes it and sets it down in front of Subin. “Your side of shredded cheese.” She stares at you both for another moment before walking off.

You look down at what Subin ordered and you roll your eyes playfully at her and she winks at you.

“Didn’t I say some things don’t change?”

~

You’ve spent the entire day with Subin. You two walked around the city, went to some parks, got sweet drinks and snacks and gushed about the beautiful weather. You’re tired though, you’ll admit. Today has been an event and you cannot wait to walk through your front door and be lazy on your couch. 

It’s already after 7 when you make it home again, the sun setting and quiet hoots of owls nearby. You see Jungkook’s car parked out front and you feel giddy that he is already here and no doubt waiting for you. A long day of activity and sitting on the couch watching movies with your best friend while he drinks wine sounds like a great night. (Even if you don’t get to partake in the drinking.)

“Hello!” You call out as you walk through the front door. “I’m home!” 

“In the kitchen!” You hear Jungkook call out from the distance.

You make your way further into the house, light footsteps dancing across the floor until you’re in the kitchen. Jungkook is sitting at the counter, a glass of wine next to his laptop that he’s buried himself in. When he hears you approach, his lifts he eyes to you. And you see his immediate smile.

“Hey.” He pushes down onto the laptop, closing it. “How was your day?”

You walk to the side of the counter he is on and you take a seat next to him. “Long. Fun. Good. Weird. Fuzzy. Headaches. Good food. The weath—”

“—Headaches?” Jungkook’s lips tug down. “Still? Or have they gotten better throughout the day?”

“More or less.” You shrug. “I can’t wait to take my medicine at 9 though.”

Jungkook chuckles, “I’ll make sure you take them.” He raises his fingers to your cheek, they barely skid your skin but it’s enough to feel like the temperature has gone up. You glance down at the countertop quickly as you nod. 

He drops his hand, “You okay?”

“Duh.” You force a smile as you stand from the chair. “Aren’t we watching a movie now?”

The third movie of the night is on and Jungkook is on his fourth glass of wine. He’s giggly and losing his perception of personal space. It never really bothered you much until…well, it still doesn’t bother you. 

“Why are your hands always cold!?” Jungkook whines, his fingers wrapping around yours. “I feel like I’m holding onto five icicles.” He says while raising your hand up.

“You’re the one who keeps touching my thermostat.” 

“You know I like to sleep cold.”

“Same.”

“Then don’t complain.”

“I’m not complaining.”

“Feels like you’re complaining.”

“Hey,” You escape his hand, freeing your freezing fingers. “Can I ask you something?”

Jungkook gazes at you, his eyes are so big and wonderous and you see the little boy from a million years ago.

“Hm?” He hums while reaching over his other side and throwing a blanket at you. You get cozy quickly, feeling grateful for the warmth and even almost forgetting your question. “Hm?” He hums again.

“Oh yeah.” You chuckle. “Okay, I’m curious…what’s your favorite memory with me?” 

Jungkook’s expression shifts subtly, eyes on you. “A memory you’d actually know, right?” 

“Yeah.” You nod before growing soft and hopeful. “You can tell me your other favorite memory of you and me if I get my memories back.”

“When.” He corrects you as gentle as possible. “But okay…” He leans back into the sofa, eyes on the ceiling. “I got it.” He smiles to himself.

“What is it?” You lean towards him, interest piqued. His eyes slide towards you before he smirks. “You have to tell me Jungkook!”

“I mean…do I have to?” He teases you. He keeps his gaze on you, watching for all your reactions to his teasing. You whine and pout and when he continues to be secretive you pinch him. “Ow! Okay! Okay!” He rubs his arm.

“Heh.” You look at him, clearly pleased. A warmth still spreading across your body.  He’s still the same Ribbit, you think. 

“Okay, I don’t know if it’s actually my favorite favorite…but it’s the first thing that came to mind.” Jungkook informs you, “Remember when I told you I wanted to apply for the police academy instead of finishing at the University?”

“Of course I remember.” You mumble, cute pout forming. “I was devastated we wouldn’t attend school together anymore.” 

Jungkook breaks into a grin at that, “I know.”

“My devastation is your fav—”

“—No, no.” Jungkook chuckles. “After my first day of the academy, I remember when…”

You feel heat creep up every inch of skin because you know exactly what he’s going to say. So long ago and you’re still embarrassed.

Jungkook continues when he sees the shame on your face and he tries to conceal his teasing smile. “When I walked out of one of the buildings I saw you coming towards me and—” He tries to speak but he can’t help but laugh now. “Fuck,” He starts cackling by himself while you shrink in shame.

“Shut up.” You groan loudly. “You know I was just trying to be funny!” 

“Sure, yeah.” He tries to calm down, huge smile on his face still. “I’m not sure I thought it was hilarious in the moment.” He admits, eyes growing a little darker but only for a moment. “But eventually yeah, that shit has me dying when I think about it.”

“It was your first day.” You mope in your spot next to him. “I knew how nervous you were, Jungkook. I thought it would…make you feel better?” 

“You thought showing up on my first day of the academy in a sexy detective costume was what would make me feel better?” He starts cracking up again. 

“I thought it was funny.” You groan again, cheeks on fire at this point. 

“Funny.” He shakes his head, teeth poking out as he smiles. “My classmates thought you were trying to seduce me.” 

“Well, your classmates didn’t know shit.” You pout defensively. 

Jungkook keeps grinning like a fool, the memory still making him laugh. “But I guess your goal to make me laugh worked because once I registered what the hell you were doing, I couldn’t stop laughing.”

“Yeah.” You glance away, annoyed. “I recall. You told everyone about it and everyone made fun of me. Glad to know me being embarrassed as fuck is one of your favorite memories.”

Jungkook snorts, his features softening before his fingers come to your cheek again. “It’s a favorite of mine because you were willing to do something like that just to ease my nerves.”

Speaking of fucking nerves. Yours are free falling in your belly. “I guess that’s a better answer.” You say quietly, eyes having a hard time staying on him. 

“Hey,” His fingers brush against your skin. “You know I would do something like that for you too, right?” He smiles. It’s gentle. Honest. “I would really do anything for you.”

And just like that, that feeling you’ve been drowning in for the past few weeks continues. 

That’s right…nine years have passed. You are apparently 33 but woke up with only the memories of the first 24 years of your life. Memories that bring feelings that drown you. You woke up with the memories of that time of your life and the feelings. 

Your brain erased so much so why couldn’t it have erased this too? 

For you, you are 24. And at this point in your life you are disgustingly in love with your best friend. The man in front of you now. And the familiar ache of yearning resides deep inside your chest, like it never left at all.

“Hey, Jungkook?” You call out for him softly, he hums in response as he drops his hand from your face. “We are still best friends, right?” 

Jungkook pushes his head back in slight disbelief that you’d even ask that, “Of course.” He grows a little more serious. “We will be for the rest of our lives. No matter what.” He states like it is a promise.

Yeah, the ache returns and the art of yearning is painting a mix of wild colors across a canvas, a piece of art one day worthy for the Louvre.

“I’m by your side forever, y/n.” He says more softly now.

Well, fuck. Just one more stroke of the brush against this canvas…and you might crumble.

~

it’s barely half past three am when his arm slides around your waist to pull you closer, his entire front flush against your back. his hand slips underneath the small top you decided to wear to bed, his warm palm sliding over the skin of your stomach and all the way up to your chest, cupping a breast.

you stir awake when you feel his lips on your neck, leaving a string of sensual, soft kisses against your skin. his hand gives your breast a soft squeeze, thumb brushing over your nipple, causing it to stiffen. a soft moan leaves you, the sound making his hips buck against you.

you know what he wants.

it’s not unusual for him to do this in the middle of the night, he’s done it before.

so when his hand lets go of your breast to slide down the expanse of your stomach towards the hem of your panties, you part your legs just a bit to make space for him. a soft sigh escapes your lips when his hand dips underneath the waistband of your panties, two fingers slipping between your folds.

a low groan emits from him when he feels your wetness, fingertips circling your clit a few times before sinking into you. you whimper, pushing back against his bulging cock. his lips continue to leave kisses against your neck, softly sucking and biting every now and then.

“fuck,” you whisper-moan into the darkness of your shared bedroom, sleep laced within your voice and eyes closed shut, teeth digging into your bottom lip to prevent yourself from moaning out loud – not that anyone would hear you except for the next-door neighbor maybe.

jungkook feels your walls tighten around his fingers as he curls them inside of you, brushing that sweet spot that usually has you mewling and squirming in his hold. no mewling tonight but squirming? definitely.

soft and quiet whimpers tumbles from your lips in a string of pleasure as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. he grinds against you from behind, his hardened cock slotted between your cheeks. the mixed feeling of his cock and his fingers causes you to spread your legs even more, jungkook’s thumb finding your clit.

“oh god- jungkook!” you moan a bit louder this time, feeling the string within your abdomen tightening until it snaps, a giant wave of pleasure rippling through your body.

jungkook grunts when he feels your walls tighten as you come around his fingers, your pussy sucking them in as pleasure washes over you, reaching your toes and fingertips. he’s breathing heavily against the shell of your ear as he slowly fingers you through your orgasm, leaving a few kisses against your temple.

“kook,” you whisper after a moment of complete silence, the only sounds being your heavy breathing. he hums, knowing exactly what you want, the tone of your voice telling him all he needs to know. familiar excitement swirls in your stomach as he removes his fingers from your heat only to reach for the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down just enough to free himself.

his hand hooks underneath your the crook of your knee to spread your legs again, lifting your leg up just enough for you to reach down to wrap a hand around him. jungkook hisses as your hand touches his swollen cock, thumb brushing over the tip before placing it by your entrance.

jungkook swears underneath his breath, hand tightening around your thigh as he spreads you even more before sinking into you. the wetness from your orgasm making it easy for him to slip inside without resistance.

you gasp softly at the feeling, heartbeat quickening as he bottoms out, filling you to the very brim. his breathing is heavy from behind you, brushing against your cheek as he pulls out again only to push back inside.

“shit,” he groans quietly, the squelching sound of his cock wrapped in your warm wetness filling the bedroom with sinful sounds. you whimper when he picks up the pace and force of his thrusts, the tip of his cock hitting deeply within you while his shaft rubs against your clit.

“ohh- fuck, feels so good,” you moan, hand reaching back to tangle itself in his black strands of hair.

“yeah?” jungkook rasps as he hooks your leg over his own, allowing him to reach up to grab your jaw, turning your head. you can barely make out the glint in his eyes through the darkness, goosebumps rising upon your skin as you feel his ragged breath against your lips. “you love it when i wake you up in the middle of the night to fuck, don’t you?”

“yes,” you breathlessly answer him, hand tugging at his hair in a weak attempt to pull him in for a kiss.

jungkook smiles at your desperation as he lets you pull him down, connecting your mouth with his in a kiss. his cock twitches within you as you moan against his lips, the sound going straight to his cock as he continues to fuck you, make love to you in the middle of the night as if neither of you don’t have a job to attend in a few hours.

“kook- ‘m close…” you whimper against his mouth.

you didn’t have to tell him, he can feel it in the way your walls are tightening around him. sucking him in just like you did when he fingered you before.

before he can do anything to help you reach your high faster, you reach down to circle your clit. jungkook’s hand bumps against yours as he reaches down to do the exact same thing. he groans against your lips when he realizes you’re trying to get yourself off while his cock is in you.

“fuck, that’s it, baby,” he rasps, hand going back to hold your leg, keeping your legs spread as he thrusts into you over and over again. “come around my cock.”

“oh my god,” you whine, feeling that tightness within your abdomen once again. “kook, please-“

jungkook groans, feeling himself reaching the high as your walls keep loosening and tightening around him, sucking him in so deep.

“gonna come,” he tells you, “come with me, ____-“

his words, your fingers circling your clit, his cock inside of you, his hand tightly gripping your leg – it’s all too much and too fucking good all at once, a mix of it all causing you to tip over for a second time tonight.

“oh god, oh god-“ you cry, feeling your second orgasm run through you in overwhelming pleasure. jungkook stills within you, emptying himself and covering your walls with hot, white cum.

“fucking hell,” he hisses, hand letting go of your leg, allowing it to fall down.

you’re trying to catch your breath, chest rising and falling in heavy breaths as jungkook wraps his arm around your waist. you close your eyes, enjoying the blissful feeling of post-orgasm as you both come down from your highs, the only sound being your heavy breathing.

“i think three am sex is my favorite kind of sex,” jungkook quietly says, breaking the comfortable silence.

a soft laugh emits from your throat, “is that so?”

he smiles and tightens his arm around you, “yeah, there’s just something about it. i don’t know what it is.”

you smile, sliding your palm over the skin of his arm. when you reach his hand, you bring it up to your lips, pressing a few soft kisses to it. you feel jungkook’s smile widen against the skin of your shoulder.

The first month of you and Jungkook’s relationship has been nothing but great – endless hours of love and goofing around, happiness flooding your whole body with warmth and excitement, lots of kisses and lots of sex. To be honest, nothing could ruin the honeymoon phase you’re in right now.

Or so you thought at least.

You’re in class one late Thursday afternoon when you overhear some girls in the row behind you. It’s evident how they’re trying to be quiet so you won’t hear but their voices penetrate every other noise in the room, reaching your ears just perfectly.

“I can’t believe Jungkook dumped Hyejin for the new girl.”

One of the girls speaks her honest thoughts with a mocking chuckle laced in her voice. You feel your chest tighten, your entire face heating up because of the embarrassment you feel. You know Jungkook loves you, but even you couldn’t believe it when Jungkook told you he was in love with you. Surely, he must’ve lost his mind, is what you thought to yourself back then.

The other one hums in agreement, “yeah, did you see how they practically made out in the hallway? Like get a room.”

You shrink in your seat, unable to tear your attention from their conversation and back to the books and notes in front of you.

“At least Hyejin was being classy about it,” the first one scoffs.

After getting with Jungkook, you’ve tried your best not to let other people’s opinions get to you. It’s been tough to ignore it whenever someone would look at the two of you for a second too long or whenever girls would eye you up and down as you made your way down the hallway, your hand tightly wrapped in Jungkook’s. But you’ve managed so far, right up till now.

These unknown girls in the row behind you are discussing your relationship with the most popular guy on campus like it’s everyone’s business and you can’t help but let their words get to you, infiltrating your thoughts entirely. Your mind is racing for the rest of the class, leaving you unfocused and unable to concentrate on the professor’s presentation.

To be fair, you never intended on avoiding Jungkook’s kisses after that class. But as the days went by and you and Jungkook would meet up anywhere on campus, you’d avoid his kisses and only settle for soft, short ones while in public. And you can tell it’s beginning to confuse Jungkook because you usually never avoid his kisses or cut them short.

He hasn’t commented on it though and you’re not going to tell him – you know it’s a silly thing to worry about.

It’s now Sunday noon and Jungkook asked you to join him at the library for some chill Sunday studying. Of course, you said yes, meeting him there with your laptop and books, prepared for some very relaxed studying.

Jungkook has been caressing your thigh under the table for the past half an hour, hand running up and down the expanse of your thigh, occasionally giving it a soft squeeze. And that simple action is alright for you because 1) no one can tell he’s touching you and 2) there’s almost no people at the library on a day like this. However, as Jungkook moves closer with puckered lips, going for a small kiss, you move away before his lips can touch the skin of your temple.

“Okay, you’ve been ignoring my kisses a lot lately and uh,” Jungkook chuckles softly, tipping his head once, “I’m not gonna lie, it’s starting to offend me.”

You shake your head, instantly denying his statement, “no, I haven’t...”

Jungkook shoots you a look that says ‘I’m not stupid’, hand pausing on your thigh as he sighs, “what’s going on?”

A sigh similar to his leaves you as you shake your head, “nothing… it’s stupid.”

“Baby, tell me what’s wrong,” he softly demands, “I don’t like it when you avoid my kisses.”

The tiny hints of a smile on your face doesn’t go unnoticed by him, the pout on his lips most likely the reason for your threatening smile.

He grins softly in return, his voice softer than cotton, “please tell me.”

“It’s stupid, really, so don’t laugh.”

Jungkook softly rolls his eyes at your words, giving your thigh another squeeze with his hand, “I’m not gonna laugh, just tell me, alright?”

Now, as you think about it, it really is stupid because why are you even letting these girls’ unimportant opinions get to you? Jungkook has been unable to keep his hands off you for a month straight, always touching you, kissing you, holding your hand and telling you he loves you. He’s the most affectionate person you’ve ever been with and you love it but apparently it’s bothering everyone else. Which shouldn’t matter because it’s none of their business. But somehow you still managed to let their opinions affect you.

“Okay, well…” you sigh, “I overheard some girls in class the other day… they were talking about us and, um, how they didn’t understand why you dumped Hyejin to date me.”

Jungkook frowns as you gulp down the lump in your throat.

“And I-I don’t know, it just got to me, I guess,” you continue, “and I found myself thinking about it like yeah, he really did dump the prettiest girl on campus only to be with me who’s not even remotely close to being as pretty as her-“

“Hey,” Jungkook cuts you off before you can say more, “don’t say that.”

His frown deepens as you let out a heavy, defeated sigh and look away. He watches you, wondering why you’d think that when you know it’s not true.

“____,” he calls your name. You pull your lips into your mouth as you look back up at him. His eyes shift between yours as he softly chews his bottom lip, “you are without a doubt the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on, okay?”

You can’t help but groan softly, feeling like he’s only saying this because of what you just said.

His eyebrows furrow on his forehead, a tiny bit of frustration bubbling within him, “no, I’m serious, ____.”

You stay quiet, looking at him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he softly says, “and I will spend the rest of my life telling you if that’s what you need, okay? Besides, I’m not dating you just because you’re pretty. I’m dating you because you make me laugh and my heart grows twice in size every time you roll your eyes at me and punch me because I said some dumb shit.”

His lips spread into a small smile when you let out a soft laugh.

“I’m dating you because that’s what feels right to me and you shouldn’t let others tell you otherwise. We’re dating because we just click, you know? And if people are jealous of that? I’m sorry but that’s not my problem and frankly, I don’t give a fuck.”

You can’t help but smile as you look at him for a short moment, no words leaving you. It amazes you that he always knows just what to say to calm you or make you feel better.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You can’t help but ask.

Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes at you, “shut up, please.”

A soft laugh escapes you just as Jungkook leans in, face nearing yours. His hand is back caressing your thigh, playful scolding expression on his face as he glances at your lips.

“I love you and I. Don’t. Like. It. When you avoid my kisses,” he growls softly, “so please don’t ever do that again.”

Your laughter fills the air between you, causing Jungkook’s face to twist into a bright grin.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t.”

You lazily shake your head as the two of you sit nice and snug in the booths of your favorite coffee shop. It’s one of the colder spring days, the breeze biting at your skin when you were outside but now, you have Jungkook’s scarf wrapped loosely around your neck and hot coffee in your hands.

“I mean, I get it. He’s gorgeous but do you really have to go this far?”

You bring the white mug full of black coffee to your lips. It’s hot and burns the tip of your tongue, but not anything you’re not use to.

“Yes.” You state plainly. You know exactly to what he is referring to. You don’t usually come here at this time, in fact you are usually a creature of habit and come at the same time on the same days… Tuesday and Thursdays in the evening but its Friday and like 1pm. But you knew Kim Taehyung was going to be here when he snapped a picture of the famous white mug with the shops logo on it and posted on his story. You bring your hand up to your forehead, saluting to the sky, “Thank you Snapchat.” So yes, naturally when you saw he was at this coffee shop you hurried to make sure you were too. Maybe it is fucking desperate. Okay it is. But could you blame a girl? He was one of the hottest guys you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“This is ridiculous,” Jungkook huffs into his own mug, “You could just talk to him…”

Now it was your turn to scoff.

“As fucking if!”

Jungkook smirks into his mug, taking a sip of the burning hot coffee. “That incapable, hmm?”

“It’s not that I’m incapable JK,” You blow on the drink nonchalantly, “I am simply just not worthy.”

“You are so stupid, I swear.” He huffs into his mug again.

“What do you mean?”

Jungkook breathes out slowly, biting his lip as if contemplating what to say.

It’s like, what can he say? He wishes he could tell you a million things that would ease your mind, that could possibly give you the confidence you need or maybe just slap the reality on you that Taehyung doesn’t deserve you. But then he will get asked ‘why’ and he can’t have that.

“What?” you whine into your cup before setting it down.

“You’re really cool and also pretty?” he says quirking a brow in question. Because apparently that’s all he can come up with.

“That’s a question? Also am I dying? You’re complimenting me?” you tease, giving him an exaggerated look of satisfaction.

“I just mean…” Jungkook runs a hand through his messy dark locks, “You have nothing to worry about, ya know?”

Nothing to worry about he says! What does he know? He can literally get any girl—or guy for that matter—that he wants. You dip your head, frowning at the idea.

Jungkook has been your best friend since your freshmen year and there’s nothing you treasure more than his friendship. You bite your lips and tilt your head trying to recall his first presence in your life…oh! That stupid frat party freshmen year…you met at a frat party during your first semester and totally hit it off. Did he try to get into your pants? Okay, yeah maybe. He offered a room just up the stairs that night, but you refused…seemingly too shy. But Jungkook was nothing but understanding. He pat your back and said he knew a better place, and that was the 24 diner down the street. And the rest is history

“Obviously I don’t know and oh my god don’t look but—” You try saying before Jungkook is completely turning his head around to look. Classic Jungkook.

“Oh hey Tae.” Jungkook says in The Kim Taehyungs direction. Taehyung walks up to your table, you thought the sun only highlighted his beauty but up close he is the sun. You knew it was a magical thing.

“Hey guys! “ Taehyung stands there as bright as a fucking light, waving at you and your best friend. Oh yeah, did we forget to mention Jungkook is also friends with said Kim Taehyung? Okay, so maybe talking to Taehyung shouldn’t be that hard, since you share the same fucking friends. And you guys are technically friends too.

“Sup dude.” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly, picking up his coffee mug once again. His long fingers wrapping around the porcelain, warming him up. You watch as Jungkook takes a sip of his beverage with his doe eyes on you, he nods his head towards Taehyung and winks at you as he gulps down the drink. Of course, he’s teasing you.

“Hey y/n!” Taehyungs smile shines so brightly you want to actually kill yourself. What is up with this dude and being so blinding?

“Hey Taehyung…” you gulp your coffee awkwardly, giving him a small wave of the hand.

“y/n I told you to call me Tae!”

“Right…” you chuckle into the coffee creating bubbles of the liquid like the fucking pathetic lil thang you are.

Yeah, talking to The Kim Taehyung is not your specialty. Never was.

2 years ago

Your head is buried in books on the table of your campuses library with Jungkook fast asleep next to you. Statistics shouldn’t be this hard but it fucking is and you are groaning into your book, on the verge of pulling your hair out when a deep voice that rumbles your insides interrupts you—actually fuck it, you don’t feel like getting into a flashback. Just know that you met Taehyung (officially through Jungkook) and he ended up calling you pretty and you’ve thought about it every day since. Because you are pathetic. What’s new?

And that was it, that’s all it took for you to gain a massive crush on the boy.

“What’s up dude?” Jungkook asks again. He is now scrolling through his phone, probably swiping through Tinder, if you have to guess. And you’re right because he’s turning his phone towards you showing you some random girl, his wide eyes asking for your opinion. You roll your eyes and nod your head ‘yes’. As you can guess, this happens quite often.

“Ummm…” Taehyung runs a frustrated hand through his hair, you slowly tilt your head to soak him in when you notice he looks almost…panicked? “I need help with something actually,” but he isn’t looking at Jungkook as he says this, no. He’s looking at you.

“You see that girl at the counter over there? The one with long hair, not the other one.” He nods his head in the general direction while still remaining discreet.

You tilt your head to steal a glance at the counter and yes you do see the girl he is referring to. She’s got long brown hair that reaches her waist and man, she is gorgeous. Big, bright eyes. Full, pouting lips. Long legs and yeah, the works. Taehyung sure knows how to pick them. Did he need help to get her number of something? Like a wing woman? You mean, does he really need the help?

“Yes, I see her.” Is all you say to him and you expect him to ask you to go over there but instead he says,

“Great. I need you to be my girlfriend.”

You blink lazily at him as you process his words while Jungkook chokes on his drink.

“You want her to be your what?” Jungkook is the first to speak.

“My girlfriend.” He says again before his eyes go wide, “Like, like my fake girlfriend.” Taehyung turns a wonderful shade of red before his hand is reaching to scratch the back of his neck, chuckling to himself. “This girl—Anna…she is a bit obsessed? Ya know? Won’t leave me alone type thing and …and I have tried saying I have a girlfriend but she followed me to this coffee shop when she heard I was here. Like, who does that?”

Now it’s your turn to turn red, because you. You would fucking do that.

“That’s horrible Taehy—” you begin to say before Taehyungs large eyes pierce into your own, “Please y/n.”

“Anna???” Jungkook cuts in setting his phone on the table. “Like Anna Anna?” Jungkook squints his eyes at his friend before scoffing. “...She’s not doing it.” his eyes go between Taehyung and this girl Anna. “Don’t involve her in whatever game you—"

“I’ll do it.” You say, even surprising yourself. “I mean, it’s just pretend and for this moment so why not?” you begin to explain yourself. Plus for a few minutes you can pretend you’re really his girlfriend and your delusional mind will thrive off that.

Tae is quick to straighten his back and smile widely before he is ushering you to scoot over in the booth to let him in. “Scoot scoot” he whispers, grinning from ear to ear.

“Tae, you can’t be serious—” Jungkook is quick to say something, anything. His hands scrambling to grab his phone and hands it to Taehyung from across the table. “Here. Call up some other girl to do this. Don’t involve y/n.” Taehyung gives Jungkook a look of panic before Jungkook speaks up again, “Plus, y/n would be the worst fake girlfriend,” And that’s it. That’s all it takes. Jungkook’s constant negativity pisses you off so much that it drives what you say next.

“No need Taehyung.” You snatch Jungkook’s phone and shove it back in his hands. “Why don’t you call up one of your girls yourself and leave us alone?”

Jungkook looks at you shocked, his brows furrowing so deeply you are almost concerned for his face and the wrinkles that might set in.

“y/n…?” his stupid doe eyes look at you with so much confusion.

“I just mean, I can do this Jungkook. Don’t have to be so concerned.”

At that, Taehyung lights up.

“Great!” and his long arm wraps around your waist and when he was sure Anna is looking he leans in to plant a soft kiss to your cheek. “Thanks for doing this…” he whispers in your ear before placing another kiss.

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s shocked ones. He looks like he just saw a ghost, all the color drained from his face as he watches you and Taehyung.

“Uh….” You don’t have any words for Taehyung—or Tae as he likes to be called.

You don’t even have the balls to glance his way, you don’t even have the balls to breathe in his direction.

“Look at me?” Taehyung’s finger is on your chin, guiding it towards his face.

“No…” Jungkook spurts out, “I mean, y/n don’t we have to go?” Jungkook looks at you with a look you’ve never really seen before. Maybe it’s desperation but you don’t really care.

“We don’t actually” you respond nonchalantly.

And with that you turn to face Taehyung more properly. His face is so close to yours it’s almost suffocating.

“What is it…Tae?” you try out his nickname for the first time. His cheeks flush and he scoots back just an inch.

“Thank you for doing this but…” his eyes slide to the side, eyeing Jungkook. “I was thinking we could do this for a couple of weeks, at the least. Ya know, to make it believable.”

Surprising you and Taehyung, Jungkook rises from his seat at the booth,

“y/n let’s go.” He simply states, not even looking at you. Taehyung looks panicked as you look between the boys.

“Tae…” you started to say before Jungkook reaches over the table to grab your wrist, “Come oooooooonnnnn” But you are quick to yank it back.

“Stop Jungkook, you’re being childish.”

Taehyung tightens his hold on you, “Yeah Kookie, sit back down…please.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at Taehyung, giving him a look that screams ‘are you serious?!’

“Childish? Okay.” He gives you a look of disappointment before grabbing his phone and his bag and walking away from the table. You watch in disbelief as Jungkook’s figure disappears from your view. What was up with him?

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with him…”

“Right…” Tae responds quietly, his grip on your waist loosening up. “He’s just really protective over you, huh?” Taehyung bites his lip in contemplation, “y/n. I’m serious, let’s do this. I’ll pay for your coffee for the next month if you do this with me. Please, I am quite literally begging you.” He breathes out through his nose in an attempt to laugh. “She won’t leave me alone otherwise.”

You bite your lip in deep thought, your brows pulled together. Taehyung couldn’t help but find you cute.

“For a month? What happened to a few weeks?” you ask, a playful smirk gracing your features.

Taehyung couldn’t help the grin that made its way on his face.

“1 month.” He breathes out. “Unless you fall in love with me during that time and beg for more time….” He pokes his tongue out, his teasing tone going straight to your lady bits. If only he knew.

“Fine, but we should set some ground rules…don’t you think?”

“Okay. Like what?”

“Oh…I don’t—”

Taehyung raises a brow, “Don’t say something stupid like ‘no kissing’…because we want to make it as realistic as possible, don’t we?” he leans in just a bit more. Without Jungkook around Taehyung seems a bit more confident.

“Oh, you want to kiss me then?”

“It’s just for show. We don’t gotta think too hard about it.” His face inches closer and closer.

“Love…” you say, in a complete daze. Too lost in Taehyungs big brown eyes.

“What about it?” he doesn’t blink, just continues to stare into your eyes.

“We…would if one of us catches feelings? Then we should stop it, right?” You choke out.

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut as an impossibly cute giggle escapes his lips, “You’re so cute. How many romcoms have you watched to come up with that line?”

“I’m serious.” You push your head back, “This could become hurtful if one of us falls in love…” You say this knowing it’s you. Well, obviously. Just because Taehyung called you pretty 2 years ago doesn’t mean he likes you.

“Okay, sweetheart.” Taehyung gets close again, “I’ll tell you.” And then he leans in, just an inch from your face. His lips hovering over your own and you can see his eyes still on you, like he’s silently asking for permission. You can’t help the nod of your head and you, yourself don’t stop yourself from leaning in.

Taehyungs lips are just as soft as you had always imagined. His lips only peck yours, the kiss is short but sweet. Once he pulls back you see his eyes slide to the counter where that Anna girl stands, and a look of relief washes over his features.

“Thank God, she bought it. She looks pissed,” he laughs loudly, “She saw us and is totally storming out!”

Oh, right. This is all for show.

“Oh, good.”

“Thanks y/n!” Taehyung’s smile is so wide it takes up the entire booth. He goes in for a quick hug, pulling back he smiles again before reaching his hand to pat your head.

“You’re a good girl.” He says and slips out of the booth. Welp, you wish those words didn’t go straight to your vagina.

“Uh, thanks.” You sputter out, not entirely sure what just happened.

“See you later?” he asks then his face lights up, “I’ll bring you a coffee.”

“Well, that is the deal.” You shoot him some pathetic finger guns.

You stare down at your now cold coffee, and look across from you at the now empty booth where Jungkook once sat.

“I’ll text you with more details later!” he shakes his phone in his hand,

“Bye bye…girlfriend.” He finishes off with a wink and skips, yes fucking skips away.

You are left alone at your table, with an empty seat across from you and a cold coffee. And now a fake boyfriend with the guy you have a massive crush on. This couldn’t possibly go all wrong, could it?

~~~

“This is definitely going to go all wrong, you realize that, right? This is a bad idea y/n and you know it.”

Jungkook’s legs are swung over your own as he lays on the couch, his focus on his phone in his hands. He wears his gray puma sweat suit you love so much and smells exactly the same as always—clean laundry and his own musk. You can’t help but eye him over, his dark strands of hair falling into his eyes as he bobbles his head to rid himself of the stray pieces. You aren’t blind, Jungkook is like, crazy hot and sometimes your staring can become a problem.

“Like, ‘we can’t fall in love with each other’” he mocks, “What sort of bullshit? You already in love, aren’t you?” he peeks over his phone to get a look at you waiting for some sort of rejection of his words.

“It’s just a crush, Jungkook.”

“Sure.” His eyes go back to his screen. “You’re pretty dumb for doing this.”

“Did I mention we kissed?”

“Only 100 times now you sicko.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and you can’t help but giggle.

It’s no secret that Jungkook is against this—whatever this is. He always has been…ever since you mentioned it 2 years ago sophomore year.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?!” you ask in disbelief.

You just confessed your little crush on Taehyung to Jungkook, the two of you sitting across from one another in the library when he rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed.

“Can you not yell? We’re literally in a library. And I don’t feel like getting kicked out this week…again.” He rolls his pen between his fingers as he speaks.

“Okay one: that’s your own fault for getting caught with your hand down some girls pants. And Two: what do you mean ‘no’?”

“Taehyung is off limits for you.” He says, totally unbothered.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means, he’s my friend for one so gross, and also he’s kind of like…emotionally unavailable.”

You chew on your pen, wondering what that could mean. Like, he doesn’t date? He doesn’t ‘do’ relationships? He’s already in love with someone else?

“I’m not telling you.” Jungkook’s pen slides against his paper as he writes, “His life.”

Oh, you asked that out loud.

“Whatever Jungkook, it’s just a crush.”

It feels nice to have a crush on someone other than…

Ding

Your phone goes off and you hurry to check it. What? It could be Taehyung wanting to go over the details of the ‘plan’. But much to your disappointment it was just Jimin.

Jimin 9:42pm

Where are you guys? Party has BEEN started girl

Y/N 9:42pm

We’re about to leave babe, see you soonish

Jimin 9:43pm

You guys fuckin? *smirk face emoji*

Y/N 9:43pm

Did you just…write smirk face emoji instead of putting the emoji itself

Y/N 9:44pm

Also how many times do I have to tell you JK and I aren’t like that

Jimin 9:45pm

Whatevs, see you soon babe xoxo

You set your phone down in your lap, your fingers going to massage Jungkook’s calves as you sneak a glance at him, he closes his eyes in satisfaction as you continue massaging the muscle.

“We gotta get go—also, that’s now what you’re wearing right?”

“Not going tonight. But have fun.” Jungkook sets his phone on his chest, letting out a long breath while folding his arms behind his head. He looks comfortable like, you almost believe him that he’s really staying in.

“Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N why don’t we just stay in tonight?” He whines, he unfolds his arms and reaches for your hand. “Let’s go buy a 12 pack, get fucked up and just ya know, stay in.” Though this doesn’t sound like a bad idea, it also sounds like every Friday night with the two of you and you want to do something different tonight. But it would take some convincing. You interlock your fingers with his and he melts at your touch, his dopey smile growing.

“It’s a good idea, right?” he says, blinking up at you.

You smile back, tilting your head just the slightest before your smile drops altogether.

“No.”

“Ugh!” Jungkook throws his head back on the sofas armrest, “Why are you like this?”

“You still love me.” You chirp swinging his legs off yours and standing to your feet.

“Now get dressed and I promise that I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the weekend and you can bring whatever poor girl back to the apartment.”

Oh yes, your best friend is also your roommate. You’ve been living together for the last year—it just made the most sense. He was always over at yours or vise versa. So it made the most sense to save money and just room together. It worked out almost perfectly—almost. He paid his half of rent on time, he cleaned the dishes, he did laundry. Wait a minute, what the hell did you offer? That’s beside the point, the best of all he was always there when you needed him. The one downfall…the girls he brought over.

It got so bad that you couldn’t even sleep. You get it, your best friend is obviously…gifted. If the girls whines and moans and screams were any indication. So you had to set some rules for your sanity! For one, the other must always warn the other when bring home a person for the night. And two, its best if the other is already like, not home. Jungkook quickly agreed…something about how he doesn’t want to hear you either.

So, offering to be gone all weekend so he can have as much sex in his bed as he wants is probably going to be convincing enough.

You study Jungkook’s features, his brows pinched together almost comically, and his lips formed into the cutest pout.

“All weekend?” he asks, kicking imaginary rocks with his feet. “Like, no interruptions?”

“No interruptions you absolute whore.”

“Fine, deal.” He looks into your eyes and something flashes across them that you cant pinpoint. “I guess I’ll get dressed…but wait, where will you stay?”

“Probably with Jimin.” You shrug.

“Hm, okay.” Jungkook walks towards his room while lifting his sweatshirt over his head and throwing it behind him, the article of clothing landing on the floor. “And you’re doing laundry.”

“Brat.” You say rolling your eyes but you can’t help but smile.

You don’t take long to get ready yourself, you settle for a casual look tonight…okay, semi-casual, meaning you’re wearing jeans but you are wearing a nice, low cut blouse that shows a generous amount of cleavage. It’s your go to titty shirt. You aren’t really looking to get laid tonight or anything but you do want onlookers to wish you were.

You bounce your knee up and down while sitting on the sofa as you not so patiently wait on your bff, you call out for him but he only yells back that you need to like, chill out. After what feels like forever, the creak of his bedroom door opening can be heard and you quickly stand to your feet to face him.

“Woah.” Is all you manage to say as Jungkook walks out of his room, his cologne filling the air around you. “You look…” you can’t even finish your sentence without Jungkook’s stupid smirk already on his face. His pants are skin tight, the material practically melted on to his thick thighs that are deliciously exposed thanks to rips and holes. His plain white tee is accompanied by a fine leather jacket and his hair is split down the middle, the waves adorning his face. He looks damn good. And you both fucking know it.

“I look?” he teases, walking closer to you. His cologne suffocating your nostrils but you aren’t upset about it.

“You look…fine. You look better than before at least.” You choke out. It’s not that Jungkook is capable of making you nervous but sometimes he has this aura about him…no, you don’t even want to get into it. Those are thoughts you’ve trained yourself to push away.

“Whatever.” His eyes skim over your body shamelessly, “You look fine too.” He winks, walking past you.

“Ready to go?” he calls out over his shoulder. You can’t help but watch his tight ass walk away. Did you really say tight ass? Well it is!

“Yeah, lemme grab my purse and uh, uh we can go. You’re driving.”

~~~

“About fucking time, sluts.”

“Hello to you too, Jiminie.” You crack a smile as your friend goes in for a quick but tight hug.

When Jungkook finally introduced you to all his friends the one you hit it off with the most was good ol’ Jimin. He immediately became one of your closest friends.

“Yo Park.” Jungkook’s eyes are all around the place, not even sparing Jimin a glance. No doubt looking for his girl for the night already. What? It’s a safe assumption.

“Jeon.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. “You guys took forever, too busy fucking?”

You hit Jimin’s shoulder with your own, giving him a look that says you’ll scold him later.

“She wishes.” Jungkook finally puts his attention on the two of you, a wide smile growing on his face.

“Shut up.”

“What? It’s true! Oh my god Jimin, you should of seen her face when she saw me walk out in this fit.” Jungkook stands tall, hands grabbing onto the material of his leather jacket,

“She was like “oh my god Jungkook you look so go—” You go to hit his stomach with your fist but thanks to his rock hard abs you only end up hurting yourself. “Fuck! Ow! What’s under your shirt?” you yell over the music.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He says with a wink.

The words ring a bell of familiarity in your head, each syllable echoing softly. A small smile forms on your lips and Jungkook gives you the softest smile in return. Did he just say the same line he used on you 3 years ago when you two met?

3 years ago

The music is booming so loudly you can’t even hear yourself think. This isn’t your first frat party and probably won’t be your last but you just can’t get use to it. You let your dormmate drag you to this stupid party only for her to ditch you in the first 10 minutes. Great.

You weave through the crowd trying to locate the kitchen to get your hands on the strongest drink you can find, lord knows you need it.

The kitchen is just as crowded as the rest of the house unfortunately. So many bodies. Bodies doing shots. Bodies doing shots off other bodies. Bodies playing games. Bodies grinding against other bodies. So many fucking bodies. It is honestly overwhelming. You walk towards the punch bowl, reaching for a red solo cup when another hand bumps into yours.

“Whoops sorry, go ahead.” The hand is attached to this boy—or man? Should you say man? He sure looks like one. He eyes you up and down before smiling down at you.

“Freshmen?” he asks.

You slump your shoulders, “Do I really look that outta place?” you pout.

“It’s not that…I just have a way of knowing.” He laughs. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.”

Namjoon, huh? He is cute that was for sure. “Y/N.” you say placing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Pretty!” he smiles, then his eyes look behind you. “Ay! Jungkook! What did I say?! No more Keg stands!!!!” Then Namjoon’s eyes are back on you, “Sorry Y/N gotta go, gotta take care of this brat.” Then walks past you to this mysterious Jungkook person.

Your eyes follow Namjoon as he rushes to whoever this Jungkook guy is. Namjoon pulls him to the side obviously scolding him for apparently doing too many keg stands. Jungkook looks like a small child who is about to get grounded, and you can’t help but giggle. Unfortunately, this caught Jungkook’s attention. He looks straight at you, his eyes narrowing. Wait a minute. You recognize him! He definitely looks like the same guy from your Lit class on Tuesday and Thursdays. Yup, you get one long good look at him and he is definitely the same heartthrob of a dude from your class. All the girls go crazy for this guy, you mean, you guess you get it. He is really hot. He’s got on a black t shirt and some ripped jeans, and tousled hair.

Jungkook looks at you again with furrowed brows then smirks. Fuck, you were staring. And got caught. You see Jungkook pat Namjoon on the shoulder a few times then walk past him, much to Namjoon’s annoyance.

And he’s walking towards….you. FUCK. In a total panic, you twirl around to face the wall, yes the fucking wall when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“’Scuse me?” a voice says from behind you. You’re not going to play dumb, you know who the voice probably belongs to. You stay facing the wall, like a fucking weirdo.

“Wanna turn around?” his voice is light and teasing and you can’t help the long release of breath before turning to face him. Wow. Up close he’s even more handsome….

“Hi?” you sputter out, completely unaware of how lame and shy you sound.

“Hey, like what you see?” he nods his head in the direction he just came from, clearly amused.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Apparently playing dumb is how you decide to go about this. You stare at him with a blank expression, swaying from side to side. Lucky for you it’s in beat with the music so you look kind of cool. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“I mean, you kept staring at me so.”

“No, its…it’s not like that”

“Then, what’s it like?”

“I just…I thought I recognized you so…” you wipe your sweaty hands on your black denim skirt. “That’s all.” You finish, still looking at him like you haven’t done anything weird tonight.

“Anderson’s Lit class right?” he asks with a pointed look. “I recognized you too.” His smirk does things to your lower half but you shouldn’t be admitting that right now.

“Oh?” is all you manage to say.

Jungkook studies you for a few moments, his gaze so dark and intimidating and you feel so flushed with his eyes on you. Then he groans with fingers rushing through his messy hair,

“Do you understand this week’s assignment?”

He…he wants to talk about school?

“Yes, I do. Because this assignment is wack as fuck.”

OH. You must of asked that out loud.

“Yes, you did.”

Oh, that too.

“Umm, yeah. What aren’t you understanding?” you finally say something relevant.

“It’s just more like, I think it’s a stupid assignment.” He chuckles, “Oh, you got something—” he reaches his hand forward to your hair, his fingers brushing through your long strands, pulling back with a piece of string. “Got it.” He says with a sly smile.

HOW CHEESY!!!! But like, it still made the heartbeat in your vagina go boom boom.

“Ya know…” he begins, his eyes never leaving yours as he talks. You actually don’t even know what he is talking about but his lips move so quickly you try to follow them. Your eyes on his lips the whole time, you don’t even realize it.

“…and that’s why I think it’s stupid.” He finally finishes with an obnoxious laugh. “Hey—hey are you even listening?” he says, his lips in a pout. You would know because they are all you’ve been staring at.

“Huh?” you blink lazily up at him, “Oh. Yeah. I totally agree.”

Jungkook stares at you seriously for a second before breaking out into a cackle, yes a cackle like he’s some hysterical witch. Which sounds really unattractive but honestly you’re digging it.

“It’s okay, you weren’t listening. I guess I’m not that interesting, huh?”

“No no! You are!” You’re quick to say, your hands waving frantically in front of you.

“Oh? So you do find me interesting?” he smirks, folding his arms across his chest.

You scoff at his words, appreciating his moves on you with a sly smile.

“Are you always this smooth?” you ask, a light teasing tone laced in your voice.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He teases back.

Feeling so at home lost in your memories with Jungkook, you finally break free from the flashback. For some reason that’s a flashback you don’t mind reliving.

“Smooth.” You grin at Jungkook, you can’t help the blush that paints itself on your cheeks.

“For you? Always.” He grins back. You two just stare at one another, basking in the memories of your friendship.

“Okay, enough.” Jimin cuts in, his hands on both yours and Jungkook’s shoulders, “Either actually get a room and finally fuck or get on with your nights.”

You and Jungkook exchange awkward glances before turning towards the living room to join the party. Jimin is left at the houses entrance by the front door, totally dumbfounded. “these two idiots…” he scoffs under his breath, his eyes rolling so far back into his head.

Hours pass and you know what? The party isn’t as lame as you thought it might be. You are lost in the music on the living rooms dance floor with a red solo cup in one hand and your phone in the other.

“y/n!” you hear the call of one of your closest girlfriends.

“Trina!!!” you stumble towards her with a lopsided grin, you reach for her bringing her in for a long hug.

“Woah, someone’s drunk.” She laughs her loud laugh that you love so much. “And damn, the titty shirt is out tonight? Nice.”

“Not drunk” you giggle, and then continue to giggle again for no apparent reason.

“Right…” Trina slaps your back enthusiastically, “Where’s…” she then lowers her voice with a smirk, “lover boy?”

“who? Jungkook?” you ask with the tilt of your head.

Trina’s head pushes back with a confused expression, “What? No! I’m talking about…” she lowers her voice again, “Taehyung!”

OH. Right. You had texted Trina as soon as the whole ordeal with Taehyung unraveled. She knows of your long time crush and totally supports the idea of fake dating because as she puts it:

“Girl! This is your chance! Show him what a great girlfriend you would be, he would totally fall in love with you for real for real.”

And you have to say, you like where her head is at. Complete opposite of what Jungkook is always saying.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t see him around.” You sway side to side, your lit up phone catching your attention.

Jungkook 1:22am

Don’t come home tonight ;)

You can’t help but roll your eyes. How is he so quick?

Y/N 1:23am

Alreadyasydy tslked 2 Jiminie, staying w hum toniteeee.

Jungkook 1:24am

y/n…you’re not too drunk right?

Jungkook 1:27am

y/n????

You are back to shaking your ass with Trina by your side, the bass of the music thumping so loudly you can feel it vibrate your whole body. Body after body pushes into you, causing you to stumble every few seconds. But your grip on your refilled solo cup doesn’t loosen, not as you chug back your drink.

“Gonna grab another!” you slur, nodding your head towards the kitchen. Trina only gives you a thumbs up as she continues to dance with some random girl.

The walk to the kitchen feels like it’s taking forever, the way the walls swirl around you makes you feel sick. You stagger through the kitchens walk way when you feel two arms wrap around your middle.

“My girlfriend!” You hear the slur of words in your right ear, loud and clear.

You turn in the man’s hold with squinted eyes,

“Oh hi Tae.” You giggle, encasing him in a hug. Drunk y/n is way more confident. For some reason seeing him like this you don’t feel as nervous or awkward. Then you feel it. The weird, uncomfortable pang in your chest. Why is that? You look up at Taehyung when the sensation of guilt begins to surface. You remind yourself of the mission you’re on, completely ignoring the inner truth that tries to bubble over and smile at him.

Taehyung looks down at you with a goofy grin, his fingers digging into your waist to keep you steady.

“Oh, you’re drunk drunk.” He teases.

“Am not!” you shake away your confusing thoughts and giggle some more. “wanna take a shot with me?” you excitedly ask him, nodding in the direction of the liquor bottles.

“Hell yeah girl!” he says, taking your hand and leading you towards the counter.

“Y/N are you okay????” Taehyung voice is laced in concern as he holds you. Yes, the Kim Taehyung is holding you. “Shit, I shouldn’t have let you drink this much….” But like in a totally pathetic way.

“You…” you lean back, hitting his chest with your pointer finger, “Don’t tell me how much I can or can’t drink!” your voice buzzes as you fall forward but Taehyung catches you again.

“Right right…” he chuckles but then he looks concerned again. “We need to get you home…let’s call Jungkook.”

“No! we caaaannnnoottt do that…” your words are all jumbled together, Taehyung has a hard time understanding you.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Back pocket.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze.

Taehyung looks conflicted, but in the end he reaches around for your phone and turns it on.

“Holy shit y/n… you have 8 missed calls from Jungkook. And whole lotta texts.”

Jungkook 1:30am

Are you okay??

Jungkook 1:40am

y/n…Youre a big girl so ill just assume youre okay.

Jungkook 3:02am

Just talked to jimin and you aren’t with him?? where are u??

Jungkook 3:18am

Answer your fukin phone

Jungkook 3:23am

Are you still at the party?

Jungkook 3:41am

You aren’t with Trina either? y/n where are you?

Jungkook 4:00am

Don’t make me go back there….pls just answer your phone so I know if youre like, idk fucking alive

Jungkook 4:10am

Fine im going to look for you

“Fuck.” Taehyung hisses under his breath. “I gotta call him…I’m gonna call him okay?”

Your eyes go comically wide at Taehyungs words.

“No!”

“too late” he says, the phone to his hear.

“Hey man, no its me…Taehyung, yeah…yeah….she….” Taehyung eyes you carefully as he speaks on the phone, “She’s fine. She just has had maybe too much to dri—” Taehyung drags a hand down his tired face, “No for fucks sake I didn’t do anything to her. Really dude?”

You lean into Taehyungs space, trying to put your ear to the phone as well and Taehyung can’t help but laugh.

“I read all your texts to be honest…if you have a girl over…what? No, I’m saying y/n can just stay with me…”

Stay with Taehyung? That should make your heart race but—

You think all the alcohol is catching up to you at once and the world becomes even more blurred and a spinning mess. You would give anything to be cuddled up in your blankets with Jungkook taking care of you—wait, no. You don’t need Jungkook to take care of you. You have a perfectly good Taehyung who just offered his place to you.

“I swear man, I’ll take care of h—” Taehyung rolls his eyes, “she might be too drunk to talk….okay, I’ll ask her.” Taehyung lowers the phone and faces you.

“y/n.”

“Hm?” you blink lazily, swaying into Taehyungs chest. Oh no. You feel it, you feel the nausea building up in your tummy, making its way up your chest. On a scale of 1 to 10 how dead would you die if you threw up on Taehyung?

“Do you want Jungkook to come pick you up?”

Jungkook? Like, your Jungkook? Unfortunately for you, your eyes gloss over and probably also unfortunate for Taehyung as well as he looks at you with an alarmed expression . You feel sick. You want to go home. You want to sit on your bathroom floor and throw up in the toilet with Jungkook sitting next to you while he hums a soft tune to soothe you.

“Y-Yes.” You murmur shyly, you begin to sniffle and Taehyung begins to panic.

“Okay man yeah come pick her up.”

“want Jungkook…” you say as a few tears spill over. You are trying your hardest to keep the puke down but its threatening to exit your poor drunk body.

“I think she’s gonna be sick so please hurry…” Taehyung rushes to say over the phone before hanging up.

The next few minutes are a blur, you know Taehyung rushes you to the bathroom. He is overly sweet the whole time you see nothing but blurred, spinning images. He holds your hair back as your body threatens to release tonight’s dinner and says comforting words but nothing makes you feel better. The puke won’t make its guest appearance and your whole world is spinning at a inhumane pace. You’re about to give up on life and fall to the bathroom floor of this gross frat house and try to sleep when you hear him.

“Lemme in dude.” It’s Jungkook. You stir from your sleepy state and turn your head towards the door. He barges in, his eyes landing on you and they soften. He immediately falls to the floor to caress the back of your head and you immediately begin to sob. The tears are out of your control as they slide down your cheeks.

“Don’t...don’t...feel good.” You say between wails, gripping desperately onto his shirt.

“I know baby, I know.” He pulls you into his chest, his hand soothingly running up and down your back. “Has she thrown up yet?” Jungkook looks up at Taehyung with expectant eyes. Taehyung is so caught off guard while watching the two of you.

“uh, no.”

“Okay, can you leave us alone for a while?” Jungkook says somewhat harshly then his features soften as he whispers “She will probably be embarrassed later if you saw…”

“Right.” Taehyung says, his worried expression not going unnoticed by Jungkook. Then Taehyung is on his way out, but he turns one last time to get a look at you.

“feel better y/n” then he is out the door, shutting it behind him.

“Okay y/n…remember what you gotta do?”

“finger?” you slur.

“Yup. Put your finger…yes like that,” he says as you begin to push your finger down your throat to get yourself to throw up.

“I promise you’ll feel better.”

You begin gagging on your finger as you finally throw up in the toilet, Jungkook rubbing your back the entire time giving you words of encouragement.

“Good girl, good girl.” He whispers.

Your face is a fucking mess. Your makeup smeared beyond belief. The black streaks from your tears marking your cheeks in the most horrific way. Jungkook watches you as you cry into his lap on the floor, his heart breaking at the sight. He hated when you drank too much and got like this. He should of never left you alone tonight.

“Jungkook?” you choke out, your tears still spilling from your dark eyes.

“Hm?” he responds, his fingers brushing back your hair.

“Did I ruin your night? Or did you still get some?” you chuckle pathetically.

“Don’t worry about that.” He brushes more hair out of your face, he lifts your head up and places it on a towel. He stands to his feet at the sink, reaching for a towelette and running it under warm water.

“Gonna clean your face okay?” he warns softly.

“kay…” you close your eyes when you feel the wet warmth of the towelette on your cheek. Jungkook is careful to clean you delicately, wiping away the makeup and leaving you spotless.

He’s back under you, your head in his lap and his hands back in your hair.

“you told me you were going to be with Jimin tonight yet you were with Taehyung…”

“It just happened like that” you whisper, sleep beginning to take over.

“I was…really worried about you when I didn’t hear from you, stupid.”

You smile at his words, his touch making you melt.

“Ya know, you’re not the only one allowed to get some Jungkook. I can be like you and have sex too if I want.”

“What are you talking about?” his hand stops in your hair.

“Would if I was getting some? That’s why I didn’t answer?”

“Were you?” his voice is low.

“Well, no—”

“Okay good.”

“Why is that good? Hm?” you open your eyes just a little bit, taking in the hazy world. “Wish it was you I was getting it on with?” you say quietly.

“You’re drunk.”

“I wanna go home.”

“take a nap first, okay?” his fingers begin playing in your hair again, “I’ll wake you up in 30 minutes.”

Your eyes are already closed when he says this, sleep already welcoming you in its warm embrace. “Kay” you murmur.

Jungkook plays with your hair as you snooze in his lap, he watches the rise and fall of your chest and wonders what it would be like to lay his head on it and sleep too.

Bbrrrr bbbrrrrr bbrrrr brrrrrr

A phone call. The most horrifying buzzing occurs next to your face as you sleep peacefully in your bed. Wait, how did you get home last night? You remember drinking and dancing the night away, you remember hanging out with Taehyung…oh no, you remember Jungkook coming to the rescue. Oh no...

You try to open your eyes, but the light from the sun is too damn blinding. You squint at what is in view. Right in front of you, you see black locks of hair poking out of the blanket, a dark blue blanket. You recognize this blanket. Jungkook’s blanket. You are in Jungkook’s bed. With Jungkook. This isn’t so surprising, you imagine you had refused to sleep in your own bed last night—

Bbbrrrr bbbrrrr brrrr brrrrr

Right. Your phone.

You fumble the phone trying to pick it up and answer it when Jungkook groans next to you,

“Hurry up and answer it” he says, sliding deeper under the covers.

“Hello?” you croak out, your voice hoarse and honestly? Disgusting.

“Hey y/n!” This voice is way too damn chipper for whatever ungodly hour it is.

“Tae?”

“Good afternoon sleepy head! Did I wake you?” Afternoon? What time is it? You pull the phone away from your face to check the time.

2:06pm

Holy shit, you’ve slept the day away.

“No no,” you lie, “Just in bed…” you say sitting up from where you lay.

“Great! Do you think maybe I could…come over? We can discuss the whole fake dating thing.” He chuckles into the phone. COME OVER? Immediately you begin smoothing down your hair with your free hand and start to peel back the covers to get out of bed.

“Umm, when?” you glance over at sleeping Jungkook, his face mostly hidden behind the blanket.

“Maybe around 6? I could cook you dinner? I know you had a rough night…”

Fucking great. You don’t want to think of last night, you will die of fucking embarrassment.

“yeah…listen, you don’t have to do all that—”

“I want to!” Taehyung is quick to cut you off, “As your boyfriend—fake boyfriend it is my duty to take care of you!” you feel like you can see the boxy smile on his face. It makes you motherfucking swoon.

“Okay then, 6.” You smile into the phone. “Bye tae.”

You bring the phone down into your lap, clicking the end button. Dinner with Taehyung? Like a date? You can’t help but feel internally giddy at the thought. You squeal for a second before Jungkook speaks up.

“What’s at 6?” he peeks from under the covers, his voice husky and groggy.

“Oh… nothing” you sing, a bright smile on your face.

“Something with Tae?” he begins to sit himself up as well.

“We’re just going to have dinner and talk about the whole fake dating thing.” You beam.

“You’re still doing that shit?”

Automatically you go from super excited to annoyed. Only Jungkook can do that to you.

“It’s harmless, Jungkook. Plus…”

“plus what?” he raises a single brow.

“Trina says this is a good opportunity…”

“y/n I have told you not to get too involved with this guy, but you don’t listen to me.” Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest, then bows his head down in defeat.

“But whatever, learn your fucking lessons by yourself.”

You can’t help but feel like Jungkook is once again looking down at you, like you aren’t good enough for Taehyung. Your breaths become unsteady as you just stare at your best friend like he isn’t constantly hurting your feelings on the matter.

“I—I will be fine. I want him, Jungkook. And this is—this is a good opportunity to show him I can be a good enough girlfriend ya know—”

“Just stop.” Jungkook cuts you off in a harsh tone. “I never said you weren’t good enough? You’re just not what he wants.” Jungkook can see how his words break you further. “Fuck. Forget I said that, y/n…”

“Why can’t he want me?”

Jungkook hates just how quietly you ask that…he hates how defeated you sound, how defeated you look…your head hanging low with no attempt to even look at him.

“He’s just…”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t answer that” You stand from the bed and begin walking towards his door. You look down to see you’re wearing nothing but Jungkook’s t shirt and some panties, you groan at your own shamelessness when you hear the rushed ruffling of the comforter behind you and the plop of feet landing on the ground. Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers wrapped around your wrist.

“Just move on y/n…”

I’m fucking trying to, is what you want to say but instead you opt for a harsh ‘leave me alone’ as you exit his room.

You spend the next couple of hours pampering yourself, you had a rough night and you totally deserve a piece of cake, this bubble bath and face mask. You want to feel relaxed but you can’t get the image of Jungkook out of your head. You hate it when the two of you fight. You mean, to others this would hardly come off as a ‘fight’ but you and Jungkook never really have negative energy. So, yes. It’s a fight. He’s the last person in the world you want to fight with. Yet here you are.

But then the image of Taehyung cooking you dinner enters your mind and somehow you feel a little more at ease. Was this a date? You giggle to yourself, blowing bubbles that reaches your lips as you sink deeper into the tub. You have an hour before Taehyung was to arrive at your apartment…your shared apartment. God, you hope Jungkook takes a hint and goes and hangs out with Jimin or something.

You finally rise from the tub and dry off your now freshly cleansed body. The scent of lavender fills the air and you feel satisfied with how your bath turned out.

You read the clock…5:30pm and you know it’s time to get dressed.

You settle for some high waisted shorts and a white tank top with a purple bralette where the straps are generously shown. Looking into the mirror, you decide to do light makeup and tinted lip balm. You don’t want to try too hard for the boy you’re trying to woo.

And bam. 6pm right on the dot you hear the door being lightly knocked. You begin walking towards the front door but stop to see if Jungkook is in his room or not. He’s not. Relief washes over you as you continue to walk towards the front door. But where did he go? You’re relieved he isn’t home but feel anxious that you don’t know where he could have gone. Maybe to Jimin’s? Maybe to some random girls? Somehow this makes you feel more anxious. You shake away those thoughts and swing the front door open.

“Hey there.” Taehyungs boxy grin is enough to get you pregnant. Like, god damn. He looks amazing. He’s got dress pants and some floral shirt and his hair looks slightly wet. That’s not the only thing slightly wet. You internally cringe at your thought.

“Hey Tae, come on in.” you open the door wider to let the boy through. He walks past you and makes himself comfortable in the kitchen, setting down a bag of what you assume is probably groceries.

“You like spaghetti?” he asks excitedly, almost like a child.

“Who doesn’t?” you smirk walking his way and sitting down at the breakfast table. “Need any help?” you offer.

“Not at all.” Taehyung begins unpacking his things and gets to work in the kitchen. You watch in awe, your head nuzzled in your hands as he does his thing.

“Dinner was amazing Tae.” You go to compliment the chef. It really was. The noodles were long and soft and the sauce was very flavorful. Did you really just compliment the length and softness of fucking noodles? Wow, you are whipped. You almost wish Taehyung was your roommate and not useless in the kitchen Jungkook. Oh. Jungkook. The thought of him enters your mind and it has you hurting. You may be having a blast with your crush but you and your best friend are still in the middle of a fight. About said crush. But this really is your chance. You can get Taehyung to like you, maybe even fall for you. And you need this. You need this. So you can’t give up, no matter what Jungkook says.

“Not as amazing as you” Taehyung winks but then his face drops, “Sorry that was cheesy, wasn’t it?” he drags a hand down his handsome face. “I suck at flirting.”

You look up at him, completely intrigued.

“You’re trying to flirt with me?” you can’t help but to smile slyly.

“Of course I am!” Taehyung laughs loudly then reaches for his backpack in the chair next to his and pulls out a notebook.

“So I wrote some ideas for this whole fake dating thing.” He becomes just a tad more serious as a nervous grin lights up his face.

“Oh really? Should I have a look?” you say reaching for the notebook with grabby hands, “Gimme!”

Taehyung chuckles while pulling the notebook to his chest, “No! Miss Greedy.” He teases. “How about I just read them and we can discuss?”

“fine.” You pout, “Whatever you say.”

“Whatever I say? I like the sound of that.” He smirks then his eyes fall to the paper in front of him. “First, we should go on dates…like all the time. The more time we spend together the more believable it’ll be. Ya know?”

“Okay, makes sense. Makes sense.”

“Second, we should attend all parties together and leave together too.” Then his eyes go wide, “I just mean—like don’t worry, I’ll make sure I get you home.”

You can’t help but giggle, nodding your head to his words.

“Third, we should post each other on social media! For example, I can take a picture of tonight’s date and post it on the gram.”

“Tonight was a date?” you ask, a delighted smile making its way on your face.

“Well, yeah…” he answers shyly.

“anything else?” you question, leaning your head in your hands as you look into his big brown eyes.

“Well….. there is one more thing I wrote down….” He answers awkwardly. His eyes sliding to the side to avert your gaze.

“oh? What is it?” you try to take a peek at the paper, curiosity getting the best of you—as usual.

“I’ll just let you read it…” he then pushes the notebook on the table in your direction, you excitedly pick it up and skim the paper. You look at all the things he wrote down, smiling because he even added his own tips.

Buy her flowers.

Movie dates?

Netflix and chill

Cook her dinner

How cute. He even added little doodles. Your eyes continue to skim the page as your smile grows at how much thought he has put into this. Your heart is beating out of your chest…you know this is all fake and for show but you cannot help how happy its making you feel. You continue to smile and hum as your eyes skim lower and lower until you see the last thing on his list.

No Jungkook.

Huh? Your smile begins to falter. No Jungkook? What does that even mean? You look up to meet Taehyungs eyes. He’s already anxiously staring at you.

“I don’t understand?” you breathe out, “What does that mean?”

“No Jungkook.” He half whispers.

“You—you realize he is my best friend? Why no Jungkook?” you pinch your brows together in confusion.

“It’s just…” Taehyung begins to explain himself, “You two are awfully close. And people already get the wrong idea about you two. Like, all the fucking time. Even I think sometimes…that’s not important. It just means for one month, you’re mine. And I don’t want people to get the wrong idea if you’re always with Jungkook.” He pulls at the hair at his neck. “Is this making sense?” Taehyung looks flustered trying to get out all of his words.

“It would make me look pathetic don’t you think? That my supposed girlfriend is always with some other guy? I mean, y/n it’s just for one month…”

One month without Jungkook? Would you really choose a boy over your best friend? Even if only for a month?

“Tae… I don’t know.” You look down at your hands as your breathing begins to pick up.

“I can’t just abandon my best friend for an entire month…”

“I mean, you guys live together so it’s not like you won’t be seeing him. Just in public…ya know?”

Taehyung has a point, you try to reason. If you have a boyfriend it’s only natural to spend most of your time with them. But it still felt wrong. But… a part of you feels like this is a good idea, actually. You’ve always been meaning to put at least some distance between you and Jungkook, ya know, for your own sake. But this feels wrong. You’re about to decline his request when you hear the front door open and Jungkook’s shuffles in. He has his airpods in and doesn’t even spare you a glance. He walks straight to his bedroom and slams the door shut.

You feel embarrassed in front of your guest that your roommate and also yeah, your best fucking friend didn’t even acknowledge you.

“Uh, he’s in a mood” you try covering for Jungkook. Then you feel the buzz of your phone and you go to check it

Jungkook 8:02pm

Watching you fawn over him is just pathetic, but like, good luck.

All you see is red. Jungkook once again shitting on your love life and raining on your god damn parade. You know what? This is your chance with Taehyung and you aren’t going to let your bratty best friend ruin that for you.

“You know what, Tae?” you say setting your phone on the table.

“Yeah?”

“You’re right. I agree with your list.”

“Wait—you do? Even the Jung—”

“Yup.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side as a wide grin makes its way across his face, “should we shake on it?” he asks with his hand pushed out in front of you.

You take his hand in yours, squeezing tightly before you pull him in and seal the deal with a quick kiss. Taehyung’s shocked expression makes you giggle, “Thought that would make it more official”

“I like having you as a girlfriend already.”

That’s right, Jungkook your ex-boyfriend of two years broke up with you because you two just weren’t ever on the same page. You wanted marriage, kids, so on and so forth but he just wasn’t ready for all of that. So he dumped you. You were willing to wait until he was ready but he wouldn’t listen to you, he ended the two year relationship just like that.

Running into him at this particular bar isn’t unusual, you two used to frequent here quite often when you two were dating. Now it’s become a place you both come with friends or whatever. You rarely speak though. You’re too god damn bitter, if you’re being honest. But sometimes when you are drunk enough you say a few words in passing…probably nothing nice.

“Alright, what are we drinking tonight?” Yoongi, your best friend, comes up to you at the bar. “I’m buying first round to celebrate your new job.” He gives you a small smile and an awkward thumbs up.

“Something strong.” You chuckle, “I want to erase those tedious interviews from my memory.”

“Were they really that bad?” he yawns out, “I mean, you passed them so they couldn’t be that hard.”

You swat Yoongi’s arm and he can’t help but laugh, you shake your head at him and finally wave down the bartender.

“Two vodka sours.” You tell the girl, “Actually three.” You turn to Yoongi and offer him a wink, “Two for me, one for you.”

“Fine, fine. Since we are celebrating.” He says calmly, “By the way…” Yoongi looks over your shoulder, his eyes narrowing. “You know your ex is staring at you?”

“You can say his name Yoongs.” You chuckle, “Or are you afraid if you say his name too many times he will show up in a bathroom mirror and murder you?”

“Yes.” Yoongi nods his head. “That one.”

The bar tender slides your three drinks across the bar and you take them gratefully. You hurry and chug back the first one in just a few seconds then immediately grab the second drink.

“Woah, woah.” Yoongi takes his own drink and starts sipping on it. “What’s up with you, huh?”

“Listen here grandpa, I am trying to get crazy tonight.”

“What did I say about you calling me grandpa?” Yoongi raises a brow at you and you snort.

“That every time I do it, that’s one less drink for me.”

“Yup, looks like you won’t be getting too crazy because there goes one drink.” He brings his straw to his mouth and sucks up the vodka sour.

“You’re a pain in my ass.” You roll your eyes playfully. “So, tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Is he still staring at me?”

“Honestly no.”

You slump your shoulders in disappointment.

“Why not?” you pout.

Yoongi looks behind you and frowns. He places a hand on your shoulder and shakes his head…his way of telling you that you don’t want to know.

“Let me guess,” you start chugging back your second drink. “He’s already got some girl in his lap, probably making out with her.”

“Close. She’s between his legs and kissing his neck.”

“Not surprised.” You finish your drink, slamming the glass on the bar top. You wave down the bar tender again and order a shot this time.

“When’s Joon getting here?” you glance at your phone, looking at the time. “He said he would be here at 11 but it’s already almost 12.”

“We didn’t even get here until 11:30.” Yoongi deadpans, “Namjoon was right to be late.”

“Whatever, whatever.” You take the shot the bar tender hands you and throw it back. It burns, the liquid is like lava as it travels down your throat but somehow you enjoy it.

“I sent him a text, he said he is almost here.” Yoongi takes a sip of his drink, “You aren’t going to try to make out with him again are you….?”

“Oh my god, Yoongs, that was one time! And you know I get super embarrassed just thinking about it!” you throw your head in your hands as you recall the memory.

“Yeah, you should be embarrassed.” He takes another sip of his drink, “You won’t ever try to make out with like me, right?” he gives you a disturbed expression and you can’t help but laugh.

“I won’t” you say with a straight face. “I might make out with Jimin though.” Your eyes slide to the side as you search for the boy. “He is always fun to make out with.”

“I don’t know how you guys do that.” Yoongi breathes out, “You’re friends yet when you’re drunk you make out, like literally every time.” His fingers go to his chin as he thinks. “Are you sure you guys aren’t secretly in love with one another?”

“Oh def not.” You giggle. “He thinks I’m hot, I think he’s hot. So we make out.”

“Right.” Yoongi nibbles on his bottom lip. “Let’s see how long that lasts for.”

You’re about to respond when in the distance you seen Namjoon walk through the bar, he’s got Jin following close behind him. You see Jin’s face light up when he spots someone behind you.

“Jungkookie!” Jin calls out, waving his arms around. Namjoon walks closer to you and Yoongi and immediately gives you a look of apology.

“Hey guys.” He greets the both of you, his hand raising to get the bar tenders attention, “What we drinking tonight?”

“I don’t know what we are drinking but it’s going to be a lot.” You eye Jin who is waving over none other than your ex.

“Jungkook! Come here!” Jin keeps calling out for him, “Why isn’t he coming?” he looks over at you, Yoongi and Namjoon.

“You realize y/n is Jungkook’s ex, right?” Yoongi states the obvious. “So like obviously he doesn’t want to come over here.”

“Oh shit, I forgot.” Jin scratches the back of his neck, “Sorry y/n…”

“It’s fine as long as he doesn’t come here—”

“What?!” and it’s the voice you didn’t want to ever hear again. “What do you want Jin?!” Jungkook stands in your circle of friends, his eyes on Jin as he speaks. But your eyes? Shit, they’re on him. He’s got black, tight jeans that practically melt over his thighs. His short sleeve black t shirt that shows his muscular, tatted arms. And his hair is short and dark and parted to the side and you can see…is that an eyebrow piercing? That’s new. Basically, he looks good. Fucking good.

“I just wanted you to come hang out but…” Jin trails off, his eyes landing on you. Making everything obvious, fucking obvious. “But I guess we are still not doing that.”

“Just go back to your friends, Jungkook.” You find the courage to say. “No one wants you here.”

At that, Jungkook’s face lights up with amusement. He quirks his pierced brow and nods at you, slowly.

“Is that so? Sounds like Jin wants me here.” He steps closer to where you’re seated at the bar,

“Oh? So you’ll stay? That’s new for you.” You spit out and Jungkook blinks at you a few times before scoffing.

“Are you still going to be bitter even 20 years from now?” he laughs. “You’re ridiculous. And sad.”

“Only thing that’s sad is your dick game.”

“Damn….” You hear Yoongi chuckle from beside you.

“Okay, what if we don’t fight, okay?” Namjoon steps in, “y/n—”

“No, it’s okay,” Jungkook smirks down at you, “She and I both know that’s not true.” He grins a cocky ass grin and you want to slap it off his face.

“Shut up.” You respond weakly and he chuckles.

“See?” he gestures all around, “She knows my dick had her—”

“Okay!” Jimin cuts in, putting a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “So are we all finally hanging out as a group again? Or are we still separated because of our divorced parents, y/n and Jungkook?” Jimin lightly teases.

“When did you get here?” You ask, totally confused on where the hell he came from.

“Just got here, saw all my friends in one place. Tae and Hobi with you Jungkook? You should tell them to come over here and hang with us too.”

“We aren’t all hanging out though?” You question. You glance over at Yoongi who looks amused to say the least.

“Aren’t we though?” Yoongi asks, a smug smile on his face.

“Yeah.” Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest and he smiles at you. “Aren’t we though?”

“Fuck off, Jeon.” You stand from your bar stool and walk past him, your shoulder bumping his.

“Where you going?” Yoongi calls out for you, standing from his own bar stool. “Great. She’s mad.” He looks around the bar and notices you heading towards the bathrooms.

“I’ll go talk to her.” Jungkook huffs out, feeling a little bad since he knows it’s his fault.

“Yeah, no offense, buddy but you’re the last person who should be going to talk to her.” Jimin puts a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder again, stopping him from walking towards the bathrooms. “So, I’ll go.”

“You’re just offering to go because you think you will get the chance to kiss her.” Yoongi says with a straight face.

“Why would Jimin kiss y/n?” Jungkook asks with big, doe eyes. “Hello? Why?” he repeats when no one answers as they all exchange awkward glances.

“Anyway. It’s obviously me who is going to go.” Yoongi sighs. “Someone watch my drink—”

“No.” Jungkook cuts him off, “I’m going.” And before anyone can object, Jungkook is storming off towards the bathrooms.

You wait in line at the bathrooms, waiting and waiting when finally two drunken girls exit the small room and you are able to go inside. You’re about to walk through when someone is pushing you forward until you’re in the bathroom and the door is being closed and locked.

“What the fu—”

You don’t expect Jungkook to be in the bathroom with you. His back is against the door as he breathes out rough breaths like he hurried to get to you.

“What are you doing in here?” you put your hands on your hips. “People will get the wrong idea.”

“Not like we haven’t fucked in here before.” Jungkook shrugs. “Anyway I just came to talk.”

“Talk about what? We literally have nothing to talk about?” you look off to the side, anything to avoid his eyes.

“I’m sorry I made you mad tonight.”

“That’s what you are sorry for?” you ask, still averting his gaze. “For tonight? There’s a million other things you should be apologizing for—”

“Really y/n? When are you going to get over it, huh?” Jungkook exhales a long breath, “We broke up. Big deal. We didn’t work.” Jungkook’s raises his volume just a bit as he speaks.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh? I bet you wish you could.”

You feel the heat rush to your cheeks as they turn nice and pink, your blush deepening as his words echo in your mind.

“You’re the worst.” You whisper. “I can’t believe I was ever in love with you.”

Jungkook’s eyes expand and his mouth drops open…he’s trying so hard to be civil with you but why do you have to say things like that?

“So you aren’t anymore?” he asks quietly. “In love with me.”

“Why would I be?” you spit out, “You’re immature, irresponsible and can’t take anything seriously. Why would I be?” you repeat in a whisper.

Jungkook feels his heart sinking in his chest, your words affecting him more than he wants to admit. But if that’s how you have to feel about him, then so be it.

“Plus.” You begin again, “It’s not like you’re still in love with me. You probably never were.” You whisper.

“Stop.” Jungkook raises a hand up. “I was very, very in love with you.” His voice is low and intimidating. “We just..”

“We don’t have to go through this again.” You say a little louder now, “It gets us nowhere.”

“y/n….” Jungkook frowns, “Can we just be civil for the night? It’s been a while since we all hung out as a group and it’s our fault, you know?”

“Fine.” You walk closer to him, closer to the door, that is. Jungkook keeps standing here, not moving.

“By the way, you look beautiful.” He says so quietly you almost don’t hear.

“Don’t.” you say just as quietly. “Please.”

“Why not? Afraid you’ll—”

“Just stop, Jungkook.”

And then you are unlocking the door and forcing it open, leaving the bathroom, leaving Jungkook.

~~~~

“Holy hell, you are drunk.” Yoongi tries to get you down from dancing on the table, “Please. For the love of god.” He yanks you by the hand and you eventually listen, giggling to yourself hysterically.

“Let her have fun.” Jungkook sips on his drink with a drunken grin. “I haven’t seen her like this in forever.” He chuckles. “It’s awesome.”

“Where’s Jimin?” you slur, “Wanna make out.”

Jungkook’s eyes narrow at you and then he whips his head in Yoongi’s direction.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“They make out when they’re drunk, trust me it isn’t anything eventful.” Yoongi comments nonchalantly. “Plus, you broke up with her so I don’t think you get to care.”

“Yoongi.” Jungkook grits his teeth but then he pauses taking a moment to think if he really wants to ask his next question. “Has y/n been with anyone else?” he tries not to slur his words, but he’s drunk after all.

“Not your business.”

“Guys! Guys! I want to make out!” you reach their table and start dancing again, Jungkook can’t help how his eyes devour you as you move. He stands from his chair and offers his hand to you and you open your eyes to take a good look at him.

“What?” you yell out. “What do you want?”

“To dance with you?” Jungkook can’t help but show you a lopsided grin as he continues to extend his hand to you. “Could be fun?”

“Hmm…” you pretend to think, “Would rather go swimming in a lake of fire.” You look at him again, a pretty little smirk playing at your lips.

“Come on y/n. For old times sake.” He drunkenly pushes on, “Come on.”

“Fine, one dance.” You slide your hand into his and you hate how you immediately feel a swarm of butterflies in your stomach at the skin to skin contact.

“One dance.” He repeats with a goofy smile.

You two head to the dance floor and he immediately places your body in front of his, your back against his chest. His hands dip dangerously low, squeezing your hips and rubbing your upper thighs. You love the feeling of his hands on you, you’ve definitely missed it. Jungkook sways your bodies to the beat of the music and things feel like they are moving so fast. The flashing lights, the drink after drink, the song after song, his hands exploring the entirety of your body. His lips finding a place on the side of your neck, your ass grinding into his crotch, it’s all happening in dizzying circles.

How you came barging in his front door of his apartment with his lips devouring your lips, you don’t know. But here you are. You two crash into wall after wall, his lips never leaving yours. His tongue pleasantly shoved down your throat as he begins to unbutton your jeans, and your hands are at his shirt, trying your best to rip it off him.

“Fuck…” Jungkook pulls away from you, completely out of breath.

And the rest is quite literally a blur. You only recall snippets of the night. You can recall his fingers on your clit as you are backed into the living room wall, you can recall his mouth hot on your pussy with one of your legs thrown over his shoulder. You can recall his dick between your lips, sucking on it, gagging on it. And most of all, you can recall how his cock thrusted inside you over and over, fucking you against his sofa.

You also recall the sweet words, the soothing massage on your back, the tight hugs as he cuddled you on his couch after you two came. You remember how good it felt to be his again. But now…

Two months later

“You’re what now?” Yoongi looks at you with a blank stare, after you don’t respond to him he takes his coffee and sips on it, shaking his head. “I know I didn’t hear that right.” He says.

“I’m pregnant.” You say again. “What the hell am I going to do?” You groan, throwing your head on the table in his kitchen. “I’m so fucking…so fucking scared.” You admit between sharp breaths, “What…what…”

“Okay, okay.” Yoongi sets his coffee down, a look of softness and pity adorning his face. “Let’s calm down,” he reaches for your hand, “You don’t have to keep it, y/n. You can…I don’t know, give it aw—”

“Oh?” You give him a look of disappointment, “I still check up on my fucking Nintendogs.” You start sniffling, your face twisting into a horrid mess. “You don’t think I’ll get attached? Carrying a baby for 9 months? Then I just…fucking…give it away?!” You look at Yoongi incredulously. “Why is this happening to me?”

“One, you aren’t the first person to ever get pregnant when they weren’t expecting it—”

“Is that somehow supposed to be comforting because it fucking isn’t.”

Yoongi sighs out, “And two, you have me, you have the guys, you have your family.”

“But you know who I don’t have?”

“…When are you going to tell him?”

At this you scoff, you wipe your snot with the back of your hand and look Yoongi in his eyes.

“How can I tell him? What would he even say?” you exhale a deep breath, “I just found out I’m pregnant with his baby. I’m spiraling. How the hell is he going to take it?”

“Don’t tell me you’re not planning on telling him…” Yoongi narrows his eyes at you, “y/n this is his baby too…he deserves to know.”

You know Yoongi is right, Jungkook is just as much in this as you are…and he isn’t even aware of it yet. This baby is like, half his or whatever. But he doesn’t have to carry it around! Ugh, why is this so complicated.

“I don’t know.” You answer honestly. “You know how Jungkook is…he can’t handle this. If I am barely holding on there’s no way he can handle this. He’s just too…Jungkook. He thinks a healthy breakfast is half a pop tart at 2pm. Need I remind you he literally broke up with me because he wasn’t ready for serious shit?” you start to sniffle again, your eyes wetting with tears. “And what? You think he’s going to like co parent with me? Or he’s going to say ‘thank you for letting me know but I want nothing to do with you or this child’? That’ll just…that’ll break me.” You admit between a few quiet sobs.

Yoongi’s lips curve downwards into one of the most pity filled frowns you have ever seen. He feels bad for you, he really does. He still thinks you should tell Jungkook though.

“If Jungkook won’t be a dad…” Yoongi starts, clearing his throat a few times. “I will be, Namjoon will be, Jimin will be…the list goes on. You aren’t alone, y/n. You have us.”

This just makes you cry harder. You’re grateful you two are alone in his apartment, that he lives alone.

“Fuck…” you sniffle out, “Thank you Yoongs.” You try taking deep breaths but fail miserably. “But…” your shaky voice makes Yoongi wince, he hates this. Seeing you like this really breaks his heart…

“Think of it this way,” Yoongi squeezes your hand. “No periods for a while right? What else…you are eating for two now, so you have every excuse to get fat…you’re allowed to nap whenever you want…bigger boobs, longer hair, good skin, the list goes on really.”

“How-How do you know so much about pregnancies?”

“Isn’t that all common knowledge? Plus, when my sister was pregnant with her first kid she raved about wanting to get pregnant again for those things.” Yoongi shrugs.

You can’t help but sort of laugh, not feeling all the way better but you know, a little. “I guess bigger boobs would be cool.”

“Of course out of everything that’s what you took from that.” Yoongi rolls his eyes playfully, “Don’t forget no periods.”

“True, that is awesome.”

You and Yoongi share a look with one another before Yoongi sighs out, squeezing your hand again.

“You have to tell him.”

“How?” You get choked up again, “I am responsible for ruining his li—”

“He’s just as responsible as you are.” Yoongi cuts you off, “He did this too. He got you pregnant.”

“Shit.” You breathe out heavily, “When? When do I do this?”

“No time is going to feel like the right time…but the sooner you do it the better. Have you seen a doctor?”

“Yes…”

There’s no way. There’s no fucking way. Even though you took 5 tests at home you came to the doctor to be sure.

“Congratulations y/n! You’re pregnant.” The doctor smiles at you, her lips curved into the perfect pity smile. You have been seeing your doctor since you were 12. She’s your family’s doctor. Also a family friend. She’s basically the mother you never had. She knows you. She knows how single you are, she knows there is no man in the picture. She knows.

“I’m-I’m what?” you blink at her repeatedly, “No…” you begin shaking your head. “There’s no way. Kathy, this doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, did you use a condom?”

Well, no. You and Jungkook used a condom the first time you ever had sex and then like, never again.

“No….”

“Did he perhaps finish inside you?”

“Well…” you look off to the side awkwardly.

“Well, then. It makes perfect sense.” She takes a seat, interlocking her fingers in front of her. “y/n…I know this must be a shock. But you have options…if you aren’t ready to be a mom.”

“Options? Like an abortion? Or adoption?”

“I was leaning more towards adoption.” She sighs, “There’s plenty of couples out there who are ready to be parents.”

“You know how I feel about that. I have no real reason to give my baby away other than I just don’t want it and that’s fucked up.”

“I know y/n…I wasn’t trying to trigger you or anything…”

Your own “parents” did that to you. They left you with a friend of theirs, Lou. He took care of you, he raised you. He felt odd about being called dad though so since you could talk he urged you to call him Uncle Lou. You owe that man everything.

“What about the…’dad’? Do I have to tell him?” you begin nibbling on your bottom lip. “I don’t want him to know, is that wrong?”

“y/n…” she frowns at you, “It’s completely up to you I suppose…but I know you’ll do the right thing.”

“The right thing?” you bite on your bottom lip harder. “He…” your thoughts get lost as you think about Jungkook. It’s best if you don’t tell him, right? But if you’re pregnant and he runs into you…won’t he be suspicious? No, Jungkook is too busy thinking about himself and the next girl he has his eyes on to even consider you and this baby.

“He doesn’t need to know.” You decide to say.

“y/n…” Kathy stands up and takes a seat next to you. “Is he a random?”

“It’s Jungkook.”

Her eyes widen at your confession, she begins to nod her head slowly before her expression is hardening.

“You have to tell him. He deserves to know…after all you two have been through…you would regret it y/n. I know you.”

“I know.” Is all you respond with.

“Lou will be excited though.” She begins to smile, “He rooted for you and Jungkook for so long and always talked about how cute your kids would be.”

“Oh god, I have to tell Uncle Lou.” You groan into your hands. “Excited? He’s going to be so disappointed…”

“Oh stop that, he’s going to be happy as long as you’re happy.”

“But I’m not happy?”

“You will be. Carrying around a child will definitely change you. I remember my first pregnancy…” Kathy takes your hand, “It’s a magical experience. Unlike anything else.”

“You were ready for kids though! I am going to be a single mother!”

“Ah, that doesn’t matter sweetheart.” She squeezes your hand in attempt to comfort you. “Being a mother is the most rewarding thing—with or without a father.”

You can only imagine what Kathy means. But you honestly have absolutely no clue. You feel your chest tighten as you become more and more overwhelmed.

“Uncle Lou is going to be excited.” You murmur, “I can see it now.” You look down at yours and Kathy’s hands. “Grandpa Lou. I can see that too.” You sniffle.

“He is the least of your worries, okay sweetie?” Kathy pulls her hand back and she rubs your shoulder. “Your biggest concern is….”

“I know.” You exhale a deep breath. “I know.”

“Kathy always knows what’s up.” Yoongi smiles, “I still wonder when her and Lou will finally get together.”

“Trust me, we are all thinking it.” You laugh, “They’re both too stubborn.”

~~~~~

A few weeks have passed, you plan on telling Uncle Lou the news tonight. You’re meeting him for dinner at his favorite diner, a small place right outside of the city. He is excited to see you as always, already planning his next visit with you about coming to stay the night at the house—inviting Kathy over for a game night, the usual stuff you used to do.

You’re a bit nervous about telling Uncle Lou the news…but also after sitting on it for a few weeks…you’re also a bit excited. You know he will be nothing but loving and supportive so it kind of lifts your spirits about the whole situation. Especially because you have yet to tell Jungkook—you know, the father of your baby.

There’s no one else in the diner but you and the staff. You wait patiently for your uncle to arrive, he’s always been known for being late. You pick at your nails, trying to rehearse exactly how you will announce to your uncle that you are pregnant. Oh, and that there is no father in the picture.

Finally, you hear the chime of the bell go off on the door of the diner and you see Uncle Lou waddle in, his mustached face grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey superstar.” Uncle Lou hurries to your booth, he’s extending his arms out for you to jump in them for a tight hug. “Get in here.”

You rush to your feet and embrace him, his arms wrapping around you so tight and lovingly it unfortunately pushes you to tears. You don’t mean to be such a baby but once you inhale Uncle Lou’s soft scent you are sniffling in his chest.

“Woah, woah.” He pulls back from you, holding you at arm’s length. “What’s my baby girl crying about?”

“Uncle…” your face twists into a look of desperation and he pulls you back in, hugging you tightly.

“Okay, okay. Do I have to kick someone’s ass?” he chuckles, his laughter whole hearted. “Because I will!”

You lean away from Uncle Lou, wiping at your face when you try to breathe evenly. He motions for you to sit down as he takes his own seat across from you.

“Now what’s going on?” he smiles for you, you see his teeth poke out from underneath his mustache. “What’s got you so emotional, hm?”

“I—I.” you try to speak but your breaths are harsh. “I don’t know how to say it.” You finally say after a long moment of calming yourself.

“You can tell me anything, sweetheart.” Uncle Lou says softly.

“Okay….” You gather your courage, “I’m pregnant.”

Uncle Lou doesn’t mean to choke on his spit, no, not really but here he is coughing up a storm a your sudden confession.

“You’re what?”

“Pregnant.” You sniffle. “I got pregnant.”

Uncle Lou nods his head slowly as he composes himself, he pats down his big belly and looks at yours.

“Pregnant? You’re having a baby?” he asks, having a hard time hiding his growing smile. “You’re going to be a mom?”

“Y-Yes.” You breathe out. “But it’s not really happy news…”

“Of course it’s happy news!” he basically shouts, “You’re going to give life! I didn’t know you got another boyfriend though…I am really out of the loop.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh.”

His smile drops little by little as the seconds pass, his face beginning to harden.

“Does the father not want to be a part of the baby’s life?” he asks quietly. “You don’t need a man.”

“He doesn’t know.” You admit, “I haven’t told him yet. I wanted to tell you first.”

“Although I am flattered by that…” Uncle Lou sighs out, “The father is the first who should know.”

“It’s Jungkook.” You blurt out and immediately Uncle Lou brightens.

“Jungkook? You two got back together?”

“No. No boyfriend, remember?” you try to steady your breaths. “We just…made a mistake recently.”

“But Jungkook is the father?” Uncle Lou smiles softly towards you, “That’s great news.”

“How is that great?” You snap, your voice rising. “He won’t want anything to do with me or this baby!”

Uncle Lou frowns at you, but somehow he does it with a small smile. He reaches for your hands across the table and brushes your fingers with his thumb.

“Jungkook loves you, darling. He won’t let you do this alone. Mark my words.”

“He doesn’t love me, Lou.” You say sternly. “He broke up with me because he doesn’t love—”

“He broke up with you because he was scared.” Uncle Lou cuts you off, “He’s young. In his 20’s. Give him a chance to breathe—”

“Who’s side are you on?” you deadpan. “Anyway, that’s why I wanted to meet.”

“Oh, not because you missed your old man?” he chuckles. “I already know the answer…but you’re keeping the baby aren’t you?”

“Yes.” You say quickly. “I would never abandon one of my own.”

“I know.” He whispers. “You won’t be alone, sweetheart. You’re going to get through this amazing journey.”

“Even if I’m alone—”

“You won’t be alone. You have me and Kathy, of course. And your friends. And I just know Jungkook will come around too when you tell him but darling…you have to tell him.”

“I know.” You sigh, “Maybe tomorrow.”

“That’s settled then.” Uncle Lou claps his hands together and he chuckles, grabbing the menu. “The server has avoided us because you were crying…let’s try to wave her down, superstar.”

~~~~~

y/n 8:32pm

Hey. Can we meet? I need to talk to you about something.

Sending that text took everything out of you to send. You typed and retyped that text maybe 40 times, and nothing felt right. You finally settled on the above message, but your stomach is twisting and turning as you wait for a reply.

You are so nervous even for a text back, how are you going to be when you actually meet with him?

Jungkook 8:40pm

Uh sure. Can I ask why tho?

y/n 8:41pm

Can I drop by?

Jungkook 8:50pm

When?

y/n 8:50pm

Like now…

Jungkook 9:16pm

Ok.

You feel the nausea that has been building finally make an appearance at the entrance of your throat…you rush to the toilet and throw up tonight’s dinner. You don’t know if it’s from the nerves or from the pregnancy. Either way it sucks.

You gather your things and head towards your car, getting inside and taking a deep breath. You can do this. You put the keys in and start driving towards Jungkook’s apartment, it’s like a 15 minute drive, not too long or too short. You roll down your windows and breathe in the night time air.

The radio is low, the breeze is nice and there are barely any other cars out. This calms you but the thought of telling Jungkook the news stops you from feeling all too relaxed. How will he react? You’re scared. You’re really scared. If he reacts as bad as you think he might, you’re going to feel heartbroken.

His apartment is in sight and you literally gulp down another round of puke. This is happening. This is really happening. You find a parking spot and head towards his apartment. It’s on the lower level so thankfully you don’t have to climb any stairs and it’s also close to where you parked so thankfully also a short walk. You reach his front door and knock a few times.

“You can do this. You can do this.” You start chanting underneath your breath. Suddenly, the door is being swung open and a girl you don’t recognize stands before you. She’s got her purse and jacket in hand and starts walking past you, Jungkook comes running up behind her and then his panicked eyes find yours.

“You got here faster than I thought you would…” he scratches the back of his neck. “Uh, see you Liza.” He waves at the girl and she rolls her eyes, shoving past you.

“Sorry.” You swallow down another round of puke, “You should have told me you were…” You glance behind you. “Busy.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” He smiles sheepishly. “Come in.” he opens the door wider and gestures for you to come inside.

“Okay.” You walk inside, you eye his place…nothing has really changed since the last time you were here…which was just a couple months ago.

“Listen—”

“So—”

You both begin at the same time and he immediately motions for you to go first.

“We really need to talk.”

“About?” he asks slowly, “If it’s about us again—”

“It’s more than just us.” You snap, but then you try to collect yourself. “Jungkook.” You slowly close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. It’s best if you don’t waste any more time…it’s best if you just blurt it out. It’s best if you just— “I’m pregnant.”

Jungkook isn’t really sure if he heard you right, no, not really. He looks at you with a dumb ass expression that screams he has no idea what’s going on.

“What?” he finally asks, his blank expression growing. His big doe eyes blinking at you over and over. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m pregnant.”

This time he heard you. Loud and clear. His growing confusion begins transforming into something else—anger.

“Who the fuck got you pregnant?” he asks, his tone cold, “And why are you telling me? No, that doesn’t matter. Who is he? You’ve been seeing someone?” now he starts to sound panicked. “Who? Who is it? Does he know you’re pregnant? I didn’t know you were seeing someone—”

“Jungkook.” You look at him like he can’t be serious, “I….” then you start laughing, because he is so dumb.

“What?” his voice rises in volume.

“Why do you think I’m telling you?” you narrow your eyes at him, “Let’s just say last person I fucked was you. So.”

Jungkook pinches his brows together as he gazes at you, then his eyes are expanding as realization begins to hit him.

“Wait, wait, wait.” He throws his hands up and scoffs. “You’re not saying…no, can’t be.” He shakes his head. “This is ridiculous.” He chuckles as he thinks more and more about it. “Are you trying to tell me….?”

“Jungkook I’m pregnant and you’re the father.” You tell him bluntly, “But don’t worry I’m not expecting anything from you, I just know you had a right to know. So everyone keeps saying.”

“Not expecting any…thing…from me…? And everyone? Who’s everyone? Who all knows?” he asks, his eyes filling with an emotion you have never seen on a person.

“A few of our friends. Lou, Kathy obviously since she’s my doctor.” You begin listing them off your fingers.

“You told our friends before you told me?” he asks with his voice low. “Wait we slept together a while ago and you’re just finding out?”

“I’ve known for a bit.” You admit, your face turning pink. “I—”

“So I’m the last to know? What the fuck y/n.” he walks to his living room and takes a seat on his couch. “You’re pregnant…? With my baby…?” he bows his head down as he thinks. He is silent for several minutes, making you antsy. Finally he clears his throat and looks up at you. “How far along are you?”

“I’m about to be 10 weeks.” You follow him to the living room and sit on the couch as well, leaving a whole cushion of space between you.

Jungkook bows his head down again until his face is in his hands. He quietly groans, and curses underneath his breath.

“Have you heard the heartbeat yet?” he all but whispers.

“My next appointment.” You sigh, “On Thursday.”

Jungkook lifts his head from his hands and turns to face you, he has a look of betrayal on his features.

“I want to come.”

“What?”

Jungkook scoots closer to you, his hand finding your knee.

“I said I want to come. Don’t I have that right? As the father?”

“Jungkook.” You pull his hand off of you and look into his dark, doe eyes. “I said I’m not expecting anything from you. You don’t have to do anything. I only told you because you have a right to know but you don’t want this.” You gesture towards your tummy. “This is a lot of responsibility and you….”

Jungkook scrunches his face up in curiosity. His brows pulled together and a pout forming on his lips.

“And I? I what?”

“No offense…but you are not—”

“Not fit to be a dad? No fucking shit, this came on to me like 5 minutes ago but I am trying to take the news in a way that I’m not flipping the fuck out.” He grits, “You are already shutting me down and pushing me out. You aren’t even giving me a chance to try?” he scoots even closer. “I’m trying to handle this y/n. Because it’s you. But you are…”

“Because it’s me? What does that mean?” you lean into him, fire in your eyes. “Huh?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” He huffs out. “I’m not going to be a piece of shit, y/n. Sorry to disappoint. But if what you are saying is true—”

“If what I’m saying is true?” You ask incredulously. “What? You think I would come here and lie? About being fucking pregnant?”

“Well, how do I know I’m really the father?!” he yells, “That was months ago, I don’t know what you get up to.”

“Because I say you are!” You try to even your breathing, “You’re the only one I’ve slept with even since we broke up.” You admit between bated breaths. “So there is literally no chance it could be anyone else.”

Jungkook widens his eyes at your confession and he is hit with a pang of guilt. You haven’t been with anyone else?

“Okay, okay.” He raises his hands, “I believe you.” He breathes out.

“You think I wanted this Jungkook?” you whisper, your eyes glossing over. “I’m so scared.”

“Fuck…” Jungkook hesitantly reaches for you, his hands pulling at your arms. “Come here.” He says as he tries to hug you.

“No.” you pull away, “Just because you’re the father of my child doesn’t mean anything else. If you want to be a part of my kids life, then fine. We can learn to coparent but at the end of the day you are still the asshole who broke my heart.”

“One, I am the father of our child. And I do want to be a part of our kids life. And two, fine, fine. You just want to coparent so be it. But I want to be a part of this pregnancy as much as you are.”

“Oh then go throw up for me.” You deadpan.

“You know what I mean you fucking smartass. I want to know about every appointment, I want to know when the baby first kicks, I want to know when you don’t feel well, I want to know when you are having those crazy cravings—fuck, I don’t just want to know about these things, I want to be there for these things. I want to take care of you.”

“Why?”

“Because you are the mother of my baby. Our baby. And I want to make sure you’re healthy and good.” He looks off to the side, “No one is more responsible for you than me. I’m the one who knocked you up so.”

“How nicely worded.” You roll your eyes. “But fine, you can be a apart of the journey.”

“I won’t lie to you. I don’t think it’s fully hit me. But I know inside…I am freaking out.”

“Of course you are. If I was freaking out I can’t imagine what you are going through…” You roll your eyes again, “I know you didn’t want this. Kids or anything of the sort. Especially with me. But—”

“Don’t do that.” Jungkook whispers. “Not now. Not when we are in the situation we are in.”

“Anyway.” You sigh, “You know the truth now. I’ll keep you updated through texts.”

“Just through texts? When’s that appointment again?”

“Thursday at 11am.” You stand from the couch.

“Wait wait…” Jungkook stands too, reaching for your hand but quickly lets go. “Are you showing? I can’t tell with that sweater you’re wearing…”

“I am. Just a very little bit though. And by a little bit, I mean, no, not really.”

“Can I see?”

You feel your cheeks flush as your body warms up with embarrassment. You slowly lift your sweater and show him your stomach.

“They say it’s the size of kumquat.” You can’t help but smile a little. “Crazy right?”

“Wow…” he leans closer to you. “Can I feel?”

“Jungkook I’m barely showing…”

“But I can tell. You have a little bump.” He smiles, his bunny teeth poking out. “I want to feel my baby.” He whispers.

“Sure…” you lift your sweater higher and turn to face Jungkook. His warm hand slides over your tummy, feeling your baby bump.

You would be lying if you said you aren’t fucking shocked right now…Jungkook is taking this a million times better than you thought he would.

“Wow.” He looks up at you, his eyes filled with another emotion you have never seen before. “She’s going to grow and grow…and your belly is going to get bigger and bigger.”

“She?” you can’t help but laugh. “You don’t know if it’s a girl!”

“I have a feeling.” He winks at you, “Don’t you think? Don’t you have that mothers intuition?”

“Not yet at least.” You admit, “You’re good at everything…even mother’s intuition.” You laugh again.

Your hand cups his hand as it lingers on your stomach, you feel your smile fading as you realize what this all means.

“We’re going to be parents, Jungkook.” You half whisper. “We are nowhere near ready.”

“Speak for yourself.” He scoffs cockily, “I’m amazing at whatever I do!”

Your eyes begin to crinkle from your giggles, you hate to admit he’s right. But he is still very immature, irresponsible and a ladies man. Can he do this?

“I should get going.” You pull your hand off his, “But I’ll see you Thursday?”

“Yeah…” Jungkook tries to smile, “See you Thursday.”

~~~~~

“Wow, having a DD we don’t have to pay for is fucking awesome.” Jimin exclaims loudly, “Sucks you can’t drink though.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep rubbing it in.” you sip on your water, “I’d be shaking ass right now if it weren’t for this lil baby growing in me.”

“You’re still having fun though right?” Yoongi asks, “Because if not we can totally go home.”

“You’re just saying that because you could totally go home.” Namjoon points out. “y/n it is up to you though.”

“Nah, let’s enjoy this Saturday night.” You smile devilishly, “Sorry Yoongs.”

“Fuck, I never get what I want.”

“I feel like that’s not true.”

“Isn’t it always what Yoongi wants Yoongi gets?” Jin asks.

“Then why the fuck aren’t we all home?” Yoongi takes the straw between his lips and starts drinking his whiskey soda.

“y/n!!!!” you hear your name across the bar then you see two friends you haven’t hung with in a while because…

“Tae!! Hobi!!” you feel yourself get emotional seeing your two friends, “HI!” you scream out and Tae and Hobi engulf you in a hug.

“We heard everything.” Tae whispers in your ear, his hand immediately going to your stomach. You aren’t surprised by Taehyung’s straight forwardness. You instead laugh and welcome his large hand over your shirt.

“Tae.” Hobi whines, “You should ask first!”

“Oh.” He says, his lips forming an ‘o’. “My bad.” He quickly removes his hand from your stomach then proceeds to ask you. “Can I touch your belly?”

You laugh and nod your head and his hand automatically finds its way back to your stomach. He begins rubbing it over and over, then he bends down and starts cooing at your tummy.

“Okay, okay. Enough!” you giggle. “That’s enough!”

“Man, we have missed you y/n.” Hobi admits, “Sorry it’s so hard to hang out…”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing. When you aren’t with Jungkook we really have to find some time to chill.” You smile at the boys and they nod their heads in agreement.

“What about me?” Jungkook walks up to you all and you feel your heart pinch in your chest.

“Nothing, nothing.” You wave him off. But he looks at you with disapproval.

“Why are you here? Isn’t this a bit inappropriate?” he begins scolding you but you only roll your eyes.

“I’m their DD.” You point at Jimin and them. “It’s not like I’m drinking and I’m barely showing.”

“Doesn’t change the fact you are carrying my baby.” His brows are set in a deep v. “You should be home. Resting,”

“I’m fine, Jungkook.” You roll your eyes again. “What about you? You aren’t home resting? With what’s her face? Liza?” you smile slyly towards him and he opens his mouth to speak when Namjoon cuts in.

“Okay, guys. No fighting. It’s not good for the baby.”

“The baby being me.” Jimin comments with his hand raised.

“No, you fool. The actual baby!” Jin swats Jimin’s arm. “Right?”

“The baby is fine…” you huff out, “Can you guys get drunk already?”

~

“How you hanging in there?” Yoongi slurs as he comes up to you at the table you’re seated at.

“I’m fine. As long as you guys are having fun, I am too.” You smile for him, a fake smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“We haven’t really gotten a chance to talk about the whole Jungkook thing…”

“What’s there to talk about?” you place your head in your hand on the table top.

“Uh. ‘You are carrying my baby’ that for starters.” He laughs but then becomes serious when he sees you sighing out.

“He wants to coparent.”

“No fucking way…” Yoongi sputters surprisingly. “Well, somehow I am actually not that shocked.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve always known Jungkook would do anything for you. He also likes to do the right thing ….eventually.”

“Do anything for me? Yeah right.” You scoff. “And yeah I guess.”

“I know you guys had a bad break up but maybe you just don’t understand his perspective.”

“You sound like Lou.” You punch his arm lightly. “Who’s side are you on?”

“You’re my best friend so yours…but as your best friend I can also tell you when I think you aren’t always right.”

“When was I wrong?!”

“You gave him an ultimatum y/n. He was freaking out. And—”

“So it’s my fault?!” you breathe out, “You’re saying he dumped me because it’s my fault?”

“I’m not saying that completely…” Yoongi tries to calm you, a hand on your knee. “But you didn’t make it easy—”

“Fuck off, Yoongi.” You stand from your chair, the chair screeching against the wooden floors. “You guys can find your own ride home.”

“Okay.” Yoongi sighs, “Fine.”

You’re about to walk away when Jungkook comes waltzing up to you, concern gracing his handsome features.

“Hey…everything okay?” he asks, his hand going to your shoulder but you shove him off.

“How do you even know something is wrong?” you yell over the music, your voice laced in disapproval.

“I was watching you…” Jungkook admits, “You look like you and Yoongi were fighting…”

“Watching me? Why? Shouldn’t you be watching whatever girl you’re going to fuck?”

“Stop that.” Jungkook warns. “You’re being crazy.”

“I’m being? I’m being crazy?” You ask incredulously. “You guys can all fuck off.” You storm off, leaving Jungkook behind. He glances at Yoongi and Yoongi shrugs.

“Pregnancy hormones, man.”

“What were you guys talking about?” Jungkook decides to pry, “She looked really upset.”

“You.” Yoongi shrugs again, “And don’t ask what about because the rest is none of your business.”

“Right.” Jungkook slumps his shoulders. “Hey…” he lifts his head to get a look at Yoongi. “Are we ever going to be okay again, man? I know since the breakup you have really been there for y/n…and I am really grateful for that…but we were once close too…”

“You broke her heart, Jungkook.”

“I know that bothers you because you’re her best friend but you also……don’t you….” Jungkook trails off as Yoongi stands from his own chair, an annoyed expression painting itself on his face.

“You don’t know what you are talking about.” Yoongi bumps shoulders with Jungkook as he passes him.

“I knew it.” Jungkook whispers. “I fucking knew it.”

~

The morning sickness is no joke, you wake up wanting to puke like it’s breathing. But you still have to go to work for 8 hours a day just like everyone else. The whole world looks a little blurry as you walk into the office but you try your best to ignore it.

“And that will conclude this morning’s meeting but remember guys…we meet again at 2 to discuss the other project!” Your boss Gary points at the clock, like you guys don’t all know what 2 o’clock is.

“I have a question?” Jason raises his hand, “If we aren’t directly working on the upcoming project, do we still need to attend the meeting?”

“Yes! Everyone needs to be here, it is essential!” Gary rolls his eyes, “Even if you think you aren’t directly involved, everyone will have a part. Got it? Good.” Then Gary is leaving the meeting room.

“Got it? Good.” Your friend Rina mocks in a high pitched voice, leaning in to whisper that in your ear. “He’s so bossy.” She pops her bubblegum.

“Oh god, can you throw that gum away? The scent is making me sick.” You feel yourself grow nauseas.

“You can’t hand the scent of…bubblegum?” she laughs. “Weird. But okay.”

“I have a sensitive nose” you try to defend yourself. “Also, why does Gary think we all have a role on the Leeson project? You don’t think he’s going to be handing out more work do you…my plate is already so full.” You whine.

“Girl, my plate is overflowing.” Rina bangs her head against her folder. “If he gives me more work I will literally cry.”

“Me too.” You say.

“You look nice today y/n.” You hear a deep voice from beside you, “See you girls around.” And Jason is getting up and walking out of the meeting room.

“Oh my god. This is the third time this month that Jason aka Mister Office Eye Candy has complimented you!” Rina claps her hands together. “When will he just ask you out? If he doesn’t ask you out by next month I am going after him myself.”

“Go for it.” You laugh. “Trust me he’s going to lose interest in me soon…” you look down at your belly. “Real soon.”

“Why would he lose interest in you?” Rina takes a moment to think, “Oh! Don’t tell me you’re getting back with Jungkook?”

“Oh god.” You groan, “Can we not talk about Jungkook?” You begin to stand from your chair and Rina follows.

“Well, you guys did hook up recently…has that continued?”

“Hell to the no.” you whisper, “last time we hooked up there was a huge result.” You look around to see if anyone is listening as you and Rina exit the meeting room.

“Which was?”

“Rina….” You glance over your shoulder one last time before leaning into her space. “I’m pregnant.”

“YOU”RE WHAT?!”

“Shh!!!” you urge her to quiet down, your hands on her shoulder. “Can you be quiet? My god.” You laugh.

“W-W-Wait! You mean you’re pregnant like as in going to have a baby?”

“Yeah. That’s usually what that means.” You say with a straight face. “Listen, I’m not ready for people to know yet so…”

“Oh totally, totally. I get it.” Rina nods her head, “I won’t tell anyone.” She sticks out her pinky for you to take it.

~

2 o’clock rolls around and you are feeling worse. Your view is a blurry one and you feel so fucking dizzy. Is this normal? You read this is normal, so you will try not to freak out. You head towards the meeting room when you take a seat next to Rina.

“Hey girl. You okay? You look…”

“I’m fine.” You breathe out, “It’s fine.”

“Okay!” Gary puts his hands together, “Let’s get started, shall we?”

“Shall we?” Rina mocks in your ear and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Something funny girls?” Gary looks at you two with disapproving eyes. “Want to share?”

“No, not really.” Rina says loudly, “You can continue.”

“Okay. That’s what I thought.” Gary then puts his attention on his laptop. “The Leeson project is going to be a big one…”

His words start fading as you try to pay attention to the slides on the projector. But every word gets smooshed with another, your vision getting blurrier and blurrier. Your mouth suddenly feels dry and you are starting to lose your hearing. Then darkness.

~

“It’s normal?” you hear a voice say, sounds kind of faraway though. “Will this happen like all the time?”

“No sir, should only occur during the beginning. Only 20% of women really experience this.”

“Jeez…” then you feel your hand being squeezed. This warmth feels familiar. You slowly start to open your eyes when you see yourself in a white room. A hospital room. What happened?

“y/n!” That same voice calls out for you, “You’re awake.” It says more softly. You slowly turn your head to the side to see Jungkook sitting next to you, his eyes pooling with worry.

“What-What happened?” You look around your surroundings, the nurse in view.

“You passed out at work.” The nurse says, “But it’s completely normal, your vitals look good, the baby is fine too.”

You sigh out in relief at the news that the baby is fine.

“Why are you here?” You pull your hand away from his, he immediately feels embarrassed.

“I’m still you emergency contact.” He admits, “They called me over.”

“Oh….” You look off awkwardly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. As the father of our baby, I’m glad it’s me they called. And that you’re both okay.”

“Right.”

“You should probably eat more though…” the nurse takes advantage and butts in, “Remember you are eating for two now. You are probably not eating nearly enough. And make sure you are also drinking lots of fluids.”

“You aren’t eating enough?” Jungkook scrunches his brows together. “y/n.” he says with a hint of disappointment, “You have to take care of yourself. Not just for you but for her.”

“Okay, okay. I get it.”

“Let me cook you dinner tonight.” Jungkook offers out of nowhere. “I’ll make sure you are well fed.” He winks and you go red. You don’t know why, but you feel shy and embarrassed that he said that. Double meaning perhaps? No, you know he means nothing by it.

“No, it’s okay.” You huff out, “I’ll go to Lou’s for dinner—”

“That’s a 45 minute drive.” Jungkook looks over at the nurse. “He lives out in the country side.”

“It’s fine.” You repeat but Jungkook isn’t having any of it.

“Dinner at my place. Or yours. Up to you. I’m giving you a choice.”

“I don’t want a choice.”

“Doesn’t feel good does it?” Jungkook says quietly. “Anyway, dinner at my place then.”

You start nibbling on your lips, and pulling at your hair. Dinner with Jungkook? He did say he wants to take care of you…there’s no deeper meaning. You’re carrying his child for Christ’s sake.

“Fine.” You finally give in, “Whatever.”

Jungkook grins down at you, his bunny smile on full display. He walks closer to the nurse and starts mumbling whatever it is he is saying as you lay here and think. You really are grateful that you are okay and that the baby is too.

Jungkook cooks up a big dinner—steaks, risotto, and salad. He even presents it nicely on the plate like he is competing on a cooking show. You stare down at your meal and can’t help but feel a bit grateful for him right now…maybe you haven’t been eating as well as you should be. Maybe just maybe you aren’t taking care of yourself the way you’re meant to.

“I added extra everything in the risotto. Extra cheese especially.” He winks at you, “Eat up.”

“Thanks Jungkook.” You take a spoonful of the risotto and chew it slowly. The flavors bursting. It’s so savory and so flavorful and so utterly delicious it has you moaning in satisfaction.

“Wow, don’t think I have heard that kind of moan coming from you in a while.” Jungkook jokes, taking a bite of his steak.

“Shut up.” You take another bite of the risotto. “It’s just really, really good.”

“I’m glad you like it…try the steak too.” Jungkook grins, “I made sure to cook it well done…I know it’s not as tasty but it’s not good for pregnant women to eat rawer foods.” He advises you.

“You’ve been doing your research?” You can’t help but sort of smile.

“Yup. Got to make sure you’re nice and healthy. And I want to know everything there is to know about my baby.”

“Our baby.” You correct him with a smirk. Jungkook looks at you with slight surprise before he is offering you a soft, soft smile.

“Yeah, our baby.” He repeats. “Anyway,” he clears his throat. “Eat up, okay?”

And you do, you eat all your salad, your risotto AND your steak. They weren’t kidding, you really are eating for two.

“So I hear you have a new job.” Jungkook takes a sip of wine, “How’s that?”

“It’s been a few months…but it’s good. I enjoy it way more than my previous one.”

“Yeah, you hated your old one.” Jungkook chuckles, I used to have to hear you complain about it constantly.”

“Whatever.” You smile, “This one is a lot of work but it’s cool. I have friends there.”

“Friends? You probably have a work boyfriend too.” He half jokes, but he looks up to see your reaction and response.

“No.” you laugh. “Well, there is Jason.”

“Who’s Jason?” He asks quietly.

“He has a little crush on me, but once he realizes I’m pregnant I am sure he will lose all interest.” You chuckle bitterly.

“Oh, I see.” Jungkook plays with the last of his steak on his plate with his fork. “He’d be crazy to lose interest though.” He mutters quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing…”

“What about you? Who’s Liza?” you decide to pry in his personal life. Jungkook looks up at you and gulps.

“She’s nobody.” Is all he answers with. “Nobody.” He repeats while playing with his food.

“Okay…well, I am so full. Is it okay if I relax on your sofa for a bit? I am feeling really tired.” You admit, “Sorry I just—”

“No, no! It’s okay! You can definitely relax on the couch.” Jungkook stands up from his place at the table and hurries to you, he helps you up and walks over to the living room with you.

“I can make it to the couch myself.” You laugh. “I don’t really need help.”

“Sorry…” Jungkook shows you a sheepish smile as he scratches the back of his neck. “I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“You think something tragic was going to occur from the table to the couch?”

“Sorry…” He sheepishly smiles again.

You take a seat on his sofa, leaning back on it. Jungkook brings the coffee table closer to the couch and urges you to put your feet up.

“Thanks…” you mumble.

You’re quick to fall asleep for a while, Jungkook takes a seat next to you and just watches you…in a not creepy way, of course. In a way that really shows his longing.

“You don’t want to get married? Like at all? What about kids?” You question him with pleading eyes.

“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.” He admits truthfully. “Maybe further into the future but not—”

“So am I just wasting my time?” you spit out, “You haven’t thought about it? We’ve been together for over two years and you haven’t thought about a future together?”

“y/n…It’s not like that.” He tries saving, “I just—”

“You just what?”

“I haven’t thought about marriage or kids.”

“Even with me….?” You feel your heart sink down to your toes. “You haven’t thought what it would be like to be with me forever? Am I a fool?” Your eyes sting with tears, “Have I just been in this relationship by myself?”

“Baby, listen…” Jungkook runs his hands through his hair, “You’re making a big deal about it…”

“I’m making a big deal? I just found out my boyfriend doesn’t think of a future with me. We clearly don’t want the same things.” Your eyes bubble over with tears and a few slide down your cheeks. “Tell me Jungkook…will you ever be on the same page as me? If not, let’s… break up. Stop wasting my time.”

“What are you saying right now?” Jungkook pleads, “What the hell?”

“I’m giving you an option, either we break up because you aren’t ready/don’t want me. Or you can confidently say you want the same things as me.”

Jungkook feels confused out of his mind and he feels so pressured right now. He feels like he has a giant weighted ball crushing him by the shoulders.

“I ….” He begins to say, “I can’t confidently say that.”

Jungkook sits here, watching you sleep as he begins to feel overwhelmed by his feelings, his past feelings, his present feelings and his future feelings. He decides to let you sleep.

The next morning you wake up with a crick in your neck as you find yourself on Jungkook’s couch. You feel embarrassed seeing as how you slept here. But you smell bacon.

You stand from the sofa and head towards the kitchen where you find Jungkook cooking breakfast. Like actual breakfast. Not a toasted pop tart.

“Hi.” You mumble from behind him, he turns around and smiles at you.

“Hey.” He says with a grin, “I’m making you breakfast. Why don’t you sit down?” “Damn, you just going to cook all my meals?”

Jungkook’s face lights up like that’s a great idea, “I can.” He says.

“I was joking.” You take a seat at the table. “Thanks again for dinner and I guess breakfast too.”

“Help yourself to some fruit.” He hands you a platter of fruit. “I went shopping this morning.” He explains as you eye the platter.

“Oh. What time is it?”

“Almost 11.” He chuckles, “You were snoring.”

“I wasn’t snoring! Wait almost 11? Holy fuck, I am late for work!” you reach in your pocket for your phone.

“It’s okay, I talked to them yesterday. They said to take the rest of the week off.” Jungkook sets down eggs in front of you.

“Oh?”

“Yup.” Jungkook brings the bacon to the table as well. “I made some toaster waffles…I know that’s like not gourmet but it’s the best I could do.”

“That’s fine, this is all fine. Thank you.” You take a piece of watermelon from the fruit platter and take a bite. It’s nice and red and juicy.

“You really have to take care of yourself y/n. Can you promise me that?” Jungkook sits down across from you at the table.

“Yes, yes.” You wave him off, “I’ll be fine.”

“It’s not just you I’m worried about…” he gestures towards your stomach. Right, Jungkook’s kindness is coming because of the baby.

“I get it.” You groan. “I’ll eat quickly and get out of your hair.”

“Take your time, I took today and tomorrow off.”

“Why tomorrow?” you ask, squeezing syrup all over your waffle.

“Because we have an appointment tomorrow… at 11?” he tilts his head to the side, “Right?”

“Oh.” You take a bite of your waffle, “Right.”

Jungkook digs into his own food, he goes for the bacon and eggs first, something about protein, he then urges you to eat more egg.

“I’m full.” You yawn out, “But don’t worry I won’t take another nap on your sofa.” You chuckle awkwardly. “I should get home.”

Jungkook stands from his chair and helps you up, even though you told him you don’t need the assistance…but you let him anyway.

“I’ll see you tomorrow y/n…”

“Okay bye.” But Jungkook is tugging on your shirt and he looks at you with a soft, tender smile.

“It’s our first appointment together.” He whispers. “I’m excited.”

~~~~~

He’s late. You’ve texted and called but your texts aren’t going through and his calls go straight to voicemail. You can’t believe you let yourself get excited for this…when he is pulling his old Jungkook shit. But maybe something happened? You wish your gut feeling told you something was off but it’s not. It’s telling you he’s just not serious.

“y/n…I have another appointment at 12:15pm…” Kathy says regretfully. “Are we going to do this or what?”

~ Jungkook is having a hard time opening his eyes…the sun is bright and blinding. And his head? Fucking pounding. Liza is asleep next to him, her naked body thrown over his own, only the sheets covering their bottom halves.

He struggles to get out from beneath her but when he does he sits on the edge of the bed and tries to find his phone. Once he locates it he tries to click it on, only to find it dead. How drunk did he get last night? He plugs it in.

Jungkook gets up to find his clothes and heads towards the bathroom. He washes himself and once he’s done he heads back into the bedroom to find his phone lit up. Oh, it’s finally turning on. He waits for it to finish, sitting on the edge of the bed again. Then it turns on completely showing him the time. 11:14am.

Jungkook’s eyes widen in complete and utter panic, he sees he has a bunch of unread messages from you and he feels his chest tighten. He sends a text that he is on his way. He races to get ready and jumps in his car to make it to the doctors.

He finds you waiting, pissed but waiting.

“y/n!”

“It’s 11:45 am Jungkook.” You cross your arms over your chest, “You’re more than late. You missed the appointment.”

Jungkook jogs up to you, out of breath. He bends over, his hands on his knees as he catches his breath.

“I missed the…? You already-You already heard the heartbeat?” He asks, clearly devastated. “Can’t she make an exception and let us in again? I mean, it’s Kathy.” He tries to reason but you knit your brows together and push out a stern ‘no’.

“y/n…please…” he straightens himself, “Fuck.” He curses underneath his breath, “I really missed it?...Shit…I’m so sorry…What did it? What did it sound like at least?” he looks into your eyes, you can tell how disappointed he is but this is his own damn fault.

“Like a galloping horse.” You state plainly. “I’m going home now.”

Jungkook reaches for your hand, “y/n wait—”

“What?!” you pull your hand back, “Where were you, huh?”

Jungkook clears his throat while looking around the office, there’s a couple waiting nearby and he feels himself grow embarrassed.

“Can we talk about it outside?” he whispers.

“No. If you’re going to explain then do it here.” Your stubbornness has never been your best trait.

“I was…fuck,” he runs his hand down his face, “I drank a little too much last night.” He decides to be honest.

“By yourself?”

“No…” he gulps. “I was with Liza.”

You nod your head like you get it, you look around the office and then roll your eyes.

“Does she know you’re going to be a dad?” you step closer to him, “That I,” you point at your belly, “Am carrying your baby?”

Jungkook blinks at you a few times then tries to even his unsteady breaths.

“No. I don’t need to tell her yet, we aren’t anything serious.” He looks off to the side.

“Sure.” You start walking past him but he grabs a hold of your arm.

“y/n.” the way he calls out for you almost sounds like he is begging, “I’m trying to change.”

“Sure you are Jungkook. You couldn’t even make it to the first appointment.”

“I promise, I just…I started off wrong I admit but I promise…I will be here for you—for the baby.”

“You know I am not even surprised that you didn’t make it…” you begin, “I knew it was too good to be true about how ‘excited’ you were.”

Jungkook feels like you’re taking a knife and stabbing him in the chest, just barely poking his heart.

“y/n…” he says your name in pure devastation. “I’m so sorry….”

“Yeah, well—”

“y/n.” Kathy walks out…”Oh! Jungkook! Wow, hi.” The woman comes out with her clipboard in hand. “You’re here!”

“Yeah…” Jungkook replies but he keeps his eyes on you.

“Great! I have some time before my next appointment if you two want to quickly come back—”

“No.” you’re quick to cut her off, “I’m going home.”

“y/n please.” Jungkook reaches for your hand, “I want to hear the heartbeat. She’s my baby too.”

“She?” Kathy tilts her head to the side, “Oh honey, you won’t know the sex for some time.”

“I have mother’s intuition.” Jungkook says sadly, his eyes still on you.

You can’t help but snort, but you ease your laughter and look at him more seriously. He does look pitiful. You almost, but not quit, but almost feel bad for him.

“Fine.” You agree, pulling your hand away from Jungkook’s. “But I won’t give you a chance like this again.” You start walking past him but then you turn around, “I can do this with or without you.” Then you head for Kathy’s office.

Jungkook stands off to the side as he watches you lay down, lifting your shirt and waiting for Kathy to proceed.

“You can get closer…” you mumble, “You’ll want to, to see and hear good enough.”

“Right…” Jungkook comes up next to you, his sweaty hands resting on the examination chair. “I feel so nervous.” he admits, “Were you nervous?”

“I was, yeah.” You lay a hand over your stomach, “But I had Kathy to relax me.”

“Oh. Sorry y/n…I should have been here.”

“Yeah, you should have.” You turn your head to face him, “But it’s fine, from now on don’t tell me you’re going to be here if you aren’t going to be here.”

“I didn’t mean to disappoint you.” Jungkook frowns, “I just…I fucked up.”

“No one ever means to disappoint others.” You point out, “just try harder next time.”

“Alright kids!” Kathy finishes setting up, “Should we take a look at your baby?” she says with a grin. At least someone is excited.

“Yup.” You pop the ‘p’. “Let’s do this….again.”

“Okay come on honey, don’t act like you aren’t excited to see your baby again!” She laughs, and you start to turn a bit pink, because yeah, she’s right.

“How about you Jungkook?” Kathy eyes the boy, “You ready?”

Jungkook nods his head slowly, his forehead beading with sweat. He doesn’t realize that his hands find your arm, and he squeezes lightly.

“Okay.” Kathy squirts the cold gel over your stomach, “Okay…” she repeats. She smears the gel over your tummy, and uses the handheld device to gather images of your baby on the monitor. Your eyes widen when you see the tiny little thing again.

“There’s your baby…” Kathy points to the screen, “And here’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

Jungkook leans in, his hands still holding your arm when he slides one of his hands down until he’s gripping your hand in his. His mouth falls open and his big, doe eyes shine so brightly at the image of your baby.

“Woah…” Jungkook is in a state of shock but also euphoria. “It does sound like a galloping horse.” He finally chuckles, and looks at you. “We made that.” He whispers gently, his fingers finding themselves tangling with yours and you let them.

“Yeah.” You say, trying your best not to get teary eyed. “It’s crazy isn’t it?” you breathe out, “She has a heartbeat.”

“She’s really in there.” Jungkook can’t help but get choked up, “This is surreal.”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Kathy interrupts, “You two are going to be wonderful parents, we’ve always thought so—”

“Kathy.” You cut her off sternly. “Anyway.”

“Ah, sorry.” Kathy chuckles, “Well, I guess I will see you both next time then?”

“Definitely.” Jungkook clears his throat, sniffling. “I will be here.”

Kathy hands you a towel to get cleaned up, then you are lowering your shirt and standing to your feet. Jungkook helps you up, you laugh because it’s not like you really need the help but you welcome his arms around you.

“Maybe we can grab a bite to eat?” Jungkook walks you to your car, “Something quick if you want.”

“Jungkook.” You sigh out, “You don’t have to spend every waking moment with me.”

“I’ve never had a problem spending time with you.” He tilts his head, “Please.”

You chew on your lips as you pretend to think…in truth, you’re going to say yes but you like watching him suffer for a bit.

“I don’t know…” you sway from one side to the other.

“Please, I’ll pay.”

And you like when he begs just a little.

“Fine.” You close your car door, “But you’re driving.”

“Okay.” He grins, “Where do you want to eat? I think somewhere healthy?”

“I think the fuck not.” You laugh. “I want something greasy.”

“Fine, just this one time.”

You and Jungkook pull up to a fast food place, you order your greasy food and dig in. He watches you, amused, while you stuff your face.

“What?” you ask with your mouth full.

“Nothing, nothing.” He sings, “Today was really something wasn’t it?”

“It would have been better if we got to experience it together for the first time.” You take another bite and Jungkook frowns.

“I really am sorry. I promise, I truly promise I am going to be here. I won’t go missing, I won’t get drunk before appointments, I will be here every step of the way.”

“If you say so.”

“I see your trust in me has lowered.” Jungkook offers a sad smile, “Please try to regain some of it…”

“That’s your own fault, Jungkook.”

“I know, I will prove to you how present I will be.”

“If you say so.”

~~~~~~

Week 12:

For the past two weeks, Jungkook has sent you texts about what the baby is up to. He lets you know the size, and what to expect during the pregnancy. It’s all very cute, if you have to admit.

Jungkook 12:14pm

The baby can open and close her hands and curl her toes.

Jungkook 12:15pm

How cute is that?! Imagine our little baby curling her teeny tiny toes :)

Jungkook 12:15pm

AND she’s the size of a lime. I went grocery shopping and bought limes just because…I see her everywhere I go. Should I make margaritas? Sorry you can’t have any though :p

Jungkook 12:18pm

I know I talked about how cute it would be for her to curl her toes but also imagine her little hands, I can’t wait for her to hold my finger with her tiny hand.

y/n 12:32pm

Your little lime baby is making me sick as hell.

Jungkook 12:32pm

You’re not going to pass out again are you?! Let me know if I need to come get you.

y/n 12:40pm

No, dramatic ass. But I am going to puke for a third time today.

y/n 12:45pm

Also…have you told your parents yet?

Your phone has been quiet for a while now, it’s already nearing 5pm. You’re about to get off work so you check your phone for a text from Jungkook but nothing. Is he scared to tell his parents? They like you…they always made jokes about you two one day getting married…well his mom did. His dad is a little more on the stoic side. But he’s a nice guy.

“I still can’t believe you’re prego. You don’t even look it.” Rina comments as she stops by your desk.

“I probably won’t be showing, showing for a few more weeks at the least.” You remind her, “Things take time Rina.”

“Have you and Jungkook talked about names?” Rina asks, blowing her bubble gum. “He’s so set on it being a girl I bet he’s already chosen a name he likes.”

“I don’t know…we haven’t talked about it.” You admit. “But I guess we should eventually.” Then you look at Rina with an embarrassed expression.

“What?”

“I don’t think he’s told his parents.”

“It’s big news y/n. Give him a few more weeks.”

Week 13

The cramping has gotten bad, you read that around this time the cramps can feel more severe, but you weren’t expecting them to suck this much.

Jungkook 6:54pm

Did you know our baby has had her first poop? Hehehe

Jungkook 6:55pm

Oh! And she has fingerprints now!! How cool is that, our baby has legit fingerprints, just like me, just like you.

Jungkook 7:00pm

Btw, she’s the size of a peapod:)

y/n 7:29pm

I’m cramping so bad:(

Jungkook 7:38pm

On my way.

You don’t even question it, you send him a text that just says ‘ok’ as you lay on your couch miserably. You sip on some cold water as you wait for him. Maybe 20 or so minutes pass when there’s knocking on your door. You slowly get up to answer it, Jungkook standing on the other side.

“Hi.” You murmur, “So why are you here?”

“This.” He holds up a heating pad, “But I read you shouldn’t use it for more than 20 minutes.” He walks past you and makes himself at home, “So come.”

“You know I have one, right?” you chuckle, “You could have just reminded me to use it.”

“This is more fun.” He cheeses, “Plus I haven’t seen you all week. Is your bump getting bigger?” he gestures towards your stomach and you scoff.

“Barely.”

“Anyway, come lay down, I have it all plugged in.”

You make your way over to the sofa and lay down on it, a long moan escaping your lips as you settle in, making Jungkook chuckle. He laid the heating down underneath you and started it on a medium setting.

“I’ll set my timer for 20 minutes.” He says, “In the meantime, maybe you want like…” he nervously trails off, “like a ….”

“Like a what?” you open an eye to look at him. “Words, Jungkook.”

“Like a massage or something?” he asks awkwardly but your face lights up, loving the idea.

“Really?” you sit up a little but he urges you to lay back down, “Maybe my calves, they’re killing me.”

“Okay…” Jungkook shows you an innocent smile. “I can do that.”

You lean your head back, slowly closing your eyes as you feel Jungkook’s large hands on your legs. He strokes your calves lightly before his fingers are digging into the skin, making you groan.

“You can go a little harder.” You say breathlessly, “I won’t mind.”

“Yeah, I remember you liking it hard.” Jungkook says under his breath but you hear him and you kick him a little making him laugh.

“Sorry, sorry. I saw the opportunity.” He raises his hands in surrender. Then his fingers go back to massaging your muscle. They slide down lower until he’s massaging your feet, you moan lightly at the feeling, everything feels so good.

“Am I doing okay?”

“You’re doing amazing baby.” Then your eyes shoot open, you lift your head up and start shaking it. “Woah, I did not mean to call you that.” You start panicking but Jungkook looks at you with his doe eyes and laughs.

“Old habit?” he questions, “Because I’m making you feel so good?”

“Something like that.” You start to lower your head again, “Sorry.” You mumble.

“It’s okay…” Jungkook starts digging deeper, making you moan out again and he smiles to himself, filing with pride.

“So Jungkook.” You catch his attention. “Have you told your parents yet?”

Then his movements on your feet stops. He slowly brings his hands to his own body when he sighs out.

“Not yet. I’m afraid of what they will say to be honest.”

“I get that.” You keep your head down and your eyes closed. “But you will have to tell them eventually. They’re going to be grandparents and they might be mad if you wait.”

“You know how my mom is…” Jungkook exhales a deep breath, “She’s going to ask why aren’t we married and then start planning a wedding.”

“She probably isn’t going to take it well that we aren’t even dating.” You laugh, “Yikes for you buddy.”

“This isn’t funny y/n.” Jungkook whines, “But I know I have to tell them soon. I was thinking this weekend?”

“Why are you asking me, do what you got to do.”

“I was thinking…” his hands go back to your calves, “That you could tell them with me.”

And this is where you choke on your spit. You sit up, coughing up a storm as you try to catch your breath.

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because you’re the mother of my baby and we’re on good terms, it might be nice to show them that.”

“Oh? We’re on good term?” you lay you head back down, “Funny.”

“Don’t.” Jungkook warns. “Don’t try to complicate things, we’re doing well. Don’t you think? We’re killing this coparent thing.”

“We haven’t even had the baby yet.” You deadpan.

“You know what I mean.” He flicks your legs with his fingers, “Plus, my parents miss you.”

“Who’s fault is that?” you say lightly. “Anyway…sure. I’ll go.”

“Ah, really?” Jungkook asks, you crack open an eye to look at him already staring at you with his bunny smile on full display. “Perfect.”

~~~~

“What if they don’t approve?” you ask, suddenly nervous. “No, that’s crazy. Your mom has probably fantasized about this, but your dad? God, he’s going to say a total of 3 words the whole visit but what will they be?!”

“y/n.” Jungkook chuckles, “Relax.” His hands goes to you shoulder, “They’re going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.” He squeezes.

“Then why haven’t you rang the doorbell?” you point at the doorbell, and he starts rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“Okay, maybe I am nervous too.” He admits, “But we are both adults, we have good jobs, we can do this.” He tries convincing himself.

“Ring the doorbell.” You tell him with a laugh. “They were expecting us like 20 minutes ago.”

“That’s your fault!” Jungkook points at you, “Miss ‘I have to pee’ every 5 minutes.”

Suddenly, the door swings open and his mom is standing here, a hand on her hip and a smile on her face.

“I thought I heard some bickering outside the door.”

“Mom!” Jungkook leans in to hug his mother, he wraps his arms around her and inhales her sweet scent.

“About time you came to visit me. And you too, y/n. Get in here!” she opens her arms up and you walk closer to hug her with a joyful laugh.

“Hi Mrs. Jeon.” You say in her hair, “So nice to see you again.”

“I’m happy you two are here! You know, together.” She winks at you both and you and Jungkook exchange an awkward look.

“Where’s dad?” Jungkook asks, trying to change the subject. You both walk into the house, taking your shoes off at the entry way.

“Oh you know you’re father. He’s on his chair watching his shows.” His mother playfully rolls her eyes.

“Why don’t we all sit in the living room, I will bring some tea.”

“How about some ginger tea mom?” Jungkook asks.

“Ginger? I thought you didn’t like ginger tea?” she raises a brow at him, “Do you like ginger tea y/n?”

“Not particularly.” You eye Jungkook curiously.

“It’s good for you.” He says with a straight face and right away you understand.

“I guess I do.” You mumble. “Ginger tea sounds good.”

His mom walks off to the kitchen as you and Jungkook make your way into the living room where his dad is.

“Hey dad.” Jungkook makes your presences known, “We’re here.”

Jungkook’s father turns his head to look at you two, offers a small smile and faces his TV again.

“Yup, nice to see you as always.” Jungkook huffs out a puff of air and you feel a bit bad for him…Jungkook always tries to reach out to his father but his dad just doesn’t really say much. But he’s a good man. Officially retired now, but barely has a relationship with Jungkook.

“Hi Mr. Jeon.” You offer a small wave of the hand, “Nice to see you again.”

“Don’t waste your time y/n.” Jungkook sighs out as he takes a seat on the sofa. “Come, sit.”

You follow Jungkook to the sofa and take a seat, you sit closer to him than you mean to but you can’t help but feel a little nervous. You guys sit for a few minutes, mostly in silence save the sound of the TV when his mom finally walks in with a tray of teas.

“Okay, ginger tea.” She hands you a cup and Jungkook a cup. “You said you had a reason for visiting so…?”

“Oh.” Jungkook clears his throat, “Maybe dad should join us.” He motions towards his father but he remains seated in front of the TV watching his shows.

“Please Mr. Jeon.” You decide to say, Jungkook’s hand finds your thigh and he squeezes it. You feel yourself grow warm at the contact.

“Sure.” Jungkook’s father says softly as he makes his way to the sofa’s. “What’s going on?”

You and Jungkook share a look with one another before you nod at Jungkook, he takes a deep breath then looks at his mother.

“y/n is pregnant.” He says in one breath.

The house becomes undeniably quiet. His mother blinks at him over and over until her head snaps to you, and then her eyes fall to your belly.

“The ginger tea…” she mumbles, “Is good for nausea.” She says, realizing.

“I’m…” Jungkook’s father speaks up after a long, long silence. “I’m going to be a grandpa?” and he smiles, a real smile for the first time you have ever seen.

“You’re…” Mrs. Jeon stands up and walks to the sofa you occupy and sits next to you., between you and Jungkook. “You’re really pregnant?” her hand hovers over your stomach. “May I?” she motions towards your belly and you nod.

“Wow…” she rubs your stomach and then brings that same hand to cover her mouth. “Jungkook…” she whips her head in his direction, “You are supposed to marry her first!” she swats his arm. “My goodness, really child.”

Jungkook can’t help but chuckle as the mood lightens. He sways into his mother’s body and she goes to hug him, she catches herself growing emotional.

“A baby, huh?” she sniffles, “You hear that honey?”

Mr. Jeon stands from his seat and comes over to Jungkook’s side and pats him on the shoulder, Jungkook looks at you with shocked eyes and you smile fondly.

“You better take care of your new family, boy.”

“Yes sir.” Jungkook responds quickly. “My two girls.”

“You’re having a girl?!” His mother starts cheering, her watery eyes on you.

“Um, we don’t actually know yet. I’m about to be 13 weeks.”

“Oh you will find out soon though!”

Also, his two girls? You aren’t his girl though? When is he going to tell his parents that?

“I know it’s a girl.” Jungkook pouts, “I feel it in my very bones.”

“I was the same…” Mr. Jeon takes a deep breath, then smiles again. “I knew you were going to be a boy, didn’t I honey?”

“Ah, yes.” She nods her head, “I was so sure he was going to be a girl.” She looks back at you and eyes your tummy, “You should start wearing tighter clothes to show off this baby bump.”

“Oh.” You laugh, “I don’t know about that yet. When I am showing a little more, maybe.”

“So when did you two get back together?” Mrs. Jeon asks excitedly, “this is great news. I can’t wait to share with my sister, and with Facebook.” She pulls out her phone and you look at Jungkook panicked.

“Actually mom..” his hand goes over her phone, lowering it to her lap. “y/n and I…we aren’t together.”

“What do you mean?” she blinks up at him. “I don’t understand.”

“We’ve agreed to coparent.” You try to help Jungkook, “But we aren’t in a romantic relationship.”

“I still don’t understand. You love each other, no?” She shakes her head, looking between you two. “So I don’t get it.”

“Honey…” Mr. Jeon says softly, “They don’t need to have a title, or even marriage to be happy.”

Oh. That’s where Jungkook got it from.

“As long as the baby is healthy and they are healthy…that’s all that matters.”

This is legit the most you have hear Jungkook’s father speak, so you are quite shocked. You look over at Jungkook and he looks surprised as well.

“That’s right.” Jungkook clears his throat. “We just wanted to come by and let you know you’ll be grandparents. We hope you’re okay with this…”

“Oh honey…” Jungkook’s mom smiles, “This is a blessing. And y/n…” she turns to you, her hand on your shoulder, “Pregnancy is one of the most beautiful things you will ever go through, I hope you let Jungkook experience it as much as possible.”

“Oh, Jungkook is experiencing it more than me I think,” you chuckle and Jungkook goes red.

“I’m just trying to be prepared.” He pouts, “And it’s kind of…exciting.”

“It’s so exciting. It’s new life. But you two realize there is a lot that goes into parenting. I recommend reading some books or getting advice.” Mrs. Jeon says. “And start saving your money.”

“Will do.” You smile for her.

You pushed through the water surface gasping as a puff of cloud appeared in the cold air. You hissed at the cold water, teeth chattering as you swam to the shore all while shouting, “This is the worst fucking idea you’ve ever had!”

“I know!” He has the nerve to laugh as he followed close behind, “But you’re the dumbass who did it with me.”

Fair enough. You ignored him trembling with shivers down your spine as you dragged yourself onto the grassy shore, one hand to your chest and the other concealing your lower privates. Hopefully Jungkook was more occupied by his own slippery run through the grass to check out your completely exposed butt. One can only hope. He sprinted past you covering his own junk as he reached the piles of clothes first.

With your back turned toward him you picked up your undergarments shimmying them on looking for your shorts. You walked further down the grassy lawn in search for your t-shirt still shivering when cold water droplets fell onto your bare back and bra from your hair. Your teeth once again shattering hugging yourself. Jungkook came by next to you, “Where’d you throw it?”

You looked up, more toward the block of trees as something black ran past you. Your jaw dropped as he followed your gaze mimicking you now. A fucking raccoon… it just ran away with your t-shirt. Without another word a shirt was flung at your frozen state and you whipped your head around to your friend.

He was picking up his shoes and socks not bothering to put them on—nor bothering to zip up his jeans that hung loosely on his hipbone exposing the fine hem of Calvin Klein briefs. Alright Mark Wahlburg pack it up.

Still, you slipped his oversized t-shirt on pulling your wet hair through the hole and trying to wring water out as you both began walking back to the deck filled with party goers cheering you both on.

“You guys are fucking crazy!” Jimin laughed loudly pulling you both in for a hug, “It was cold, wasn’t it?”

“Freezing,” you trembled walking past him toward the table of alcohol hoping to find something that’ll burn your throat enough to warm you up.

“Holy shit it’s Dumb and Dumber with you two. I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” Taehyung came to you pouring the drink for you himself, “How’d he even convince you?”

“Homemade dinner every night for a week,” you told him simply making him laugh. “You drive a hard bargain.”

It really was that easy. You had already been slightly drunk and Jungkook was too. So when he started standing on a table claiming he had the best idea in the entire world that’d be so damn fun and exciting. He really did manage to have everyone’s attention until the words skinny dipping left his stupid lips. Everyone told him off saying the water was too cold but no, apparently a hoe never gets cold so he wouldn’t feel shit. Then everyone was yelling at him to do it by himself then but in pure stage fright he immediately looked to you begging you to do it with him even as you shielded your face away acting like you didn’t know him.

But he made the ultimate offer, making you dinner for a week straight, home cooked meals, and well you simply couldn’t refuse. Living off ramen had certainly been exhausting and who were you to turn down your friend’s offer to make you something worthwhile? So for obvious reasons, you succumbed to it and followed him across the lawn shredding articles of clothing running straight toward the freezing lake.

“Hey, you can crash here if you want just don’t tell everyone. I don’t want randoms asking to sleep here,” Jimin said to you later on once the buzz died down a bit. You only nodded continuing your one man game or jenga hidden away in the living room while everyone else was outside. You’re currently ending your wonderful spring break at Jimin’s lake house—or well his parent’s lake house. They let him use it this weekend and in pure college boy fashion, he threw a rager. Thankfully for you, you were close enough friends with Jimin that you wouldn’t be one of the ones kicked out at the end of the night back to the forty minute drive to Seoul. You’d just go home tomorrow morning with one of the guys or girls you knew.

Jimin let you have one of the guest bedrooms, it also gave you a good escape when the party was still going but you were tired. The plunge into cold lake water really tires a bitch out. So, you did what a sensible person would do, and immediately plopped down on the Queen sized bed going on your phone to start your pre-bedtime routine.

Of course you just had to fall asleep like that, completely slumped, phone still in hand and definitely not connected to your charger. But the constant replay of some tiktok wasn’t enough to wake up, the constant smacking on your shoulder and whisper of your name was by far enough. It even jolted your ‘fight or flight’ instincts, a hand immediately sticking out to swipe at the monster your mind conjured up.

“Ow, you bitch!” Jungkook hissed hand on his thigh feeling the burn of the smack that almost knocked him down. Your eyes propped open, no monster, just Jungkook. You groaned pulling the blanket off your face, “What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t sneak on a bitch while she’s sleeping.”

“You left the door unlocked dumbass,” Jungkook huffed still leaning over you in the dark, “And I’m trying to sleep here so scoot over.”

You didn’t budge, refusing to move for him, hell if anything you just spread yourself out even more. You buried your face back into your pillow proving your point even further but it went over his head. He didn’t care, if not just felt challenged. So, he did what any sensible person would do, and pushed your leg over to your other one and rolled you onto one side so he could shimmy himself under the covers. “What the fuck! Go sleep on the couch or something, you move too much in your sleep!” You whined, half asleep and definitely delirious as you began to shove him but the boy did not budge.

“Fuck no, I got stuck with the couch and hoes won’t leave. Now go to sleep before I puke on you.”