—ko–☆

You almost felt like quitting your job, almost. But heartbroken was not a valid reason. You were decent at your job. No way they would let you go that easy.

You kept scrolling through the internet. Searching for more and more and more gossips and theories about Kazuha's scandal with the upbringing actress, Ayaka.

She was the better you, you convinced yourself.

You weren't like her. She was soft, sophisticated, grounded. She has tons and millions of fans waiting at her door. Whereas you, hard, jagged, messy and overall not desirable by the whole world.

You read comments like:

i'm not even mad. match made in heaven fr fr

MY NEW OTPPPP!!!! <3333

if they aren't together i swear i will be having problems

It felt like fate laughing in your face right now.

After you had finally convinced yourself that he might feel the same as you, you found out about this dating rumour. You thought people would trash it, hate it or opened a twitter thread on why they shouldn't see each other again.

But they supported it. Shipped it. Even encouraging it. You felt ridiculous. How come that one time you hope a couple gets ablaze but only for it to be loved.

Your stomach twisted with disgust. You shouldn't be jealous. You should be happy, because he's happy. And if he's happy isn't that enough? He deserves it and you shouldn't get in his way.

Unexpectedly, a message notification popped up.

Kazuha<3:

today's shooting is exhausting, isn't it?

please have a good rest

goodnight and have a sweet dreams

You cursed under your breath. He is the last person you want to talk to right now. Without another glance at his message you put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode.

You're happy for him. He's happy now with someone who is not you. You are happy. You shouldn't bother him anymore.

Your thumb hover on the block button. Contemplating on should you end it now before he pushes you away or comes clean with him.

You sighed and turned off your phone. You have work tomorrow. You don't have time to think about nonsensical things. These feelings are a hindrance to your professional work.

You shut your eyes with a heavy feeling. Desperate to get some sleep.

The following days were stressful. You avoid Kazuha like the plague. Overworking yourself with everything, even stuff that doesn't even involve your work field. Every time Kazuha wants to approach you, you bolted out before he can even get close to you.

He bombarded your phone with text messages and sometimes a call. Texts like, “where are you?”, “are you busy?”, “I have trouble with my clothes, please help me” and, “don't overworked yourself”.

Every text received is like a stab into your heart. You tried so hard to move on but he keeps making you feel like this. Keep popping into your life when you want nothing for him to be gone.

Kazuha was a mess.

When you first ignored his messages, he brushed it off. You're probably too tired to reply that night. So he waited.

He texted, even called but you didn't acknowledge it. It's like you don't care about him anymore and it hurts him more than he thought it would.

He even goes over and beyond to search for you. Asking every crew member if they know where you are. He even asked that light crew member he disliked because he looked at you too long once.

Their answers were always vague, because they don't know where you were specifically when all you do these days is run around the studio.

By a week, he lost his mind. Not one message was read by you. He thinks back everything he did that may be the cause of this. But he came to nothing.

Kazuha was known for his calm composure. He thinks clearly even in desperate situations. But now, he couldn't even eat food right. Accidentally bumping people when walking. Zoned out too many times than he can count.

His friends started to notice his odd behaviour. Aether was the first to confront him, “you’re not even listening to me dude” he stated when Kazuha didn't respond. They were taking a break from practicing and decided to sit down by the couch. He was ranting about his sister's creepy boyfriend, Ajax, to Kazuha but he took way too long to give an opinion.

“... huh?” Kazuha blinked back to reality, “oh yeah, yeah, that sounds good” he muttered and continued to disconnect from the world yet again.

“what?”

Aether sighed and slapped Kazuha's back, “snap out of it bro” he said and Kazuha yelped which was uncharacteristic of him, “what's gotten into you? you've gone cuckoo or something?” he frowned, genuinely concerned for his friend.

Kazuha slumped down to his knee and groaned, “it's nothing… don't worry” he mumbled under his breath.

Aether didn't accept that answer, “it is not ‘nothing’ if you're dissociating every few seconds. Even Xiao is worried. And you know how rarely he expresses his emotions” he urged.

Kazuha thought for a moment. He was being difficult now. Is that why you hate him now? Because he was difficult? No, you don't hate him. At least that's what he thought at first. He wasn't sure now but he hoped that's not the reason you avoided him.

He leaned back on the couch and took a deep breath, “... you remember that girl I was talking about?” he started. Aether nodded. He remembered that Kazuha almost giggled when you first replied to his texts. But that was months ago. Back when you were new here.

“yeah, our stylist, right?”

Kazuha nodded and told all about what happened. Not that anything really happens but more on what didn't happen. How you went silent on him. And how the silence's eating him alive. And how can he fix it?

After listening to all of this Aether had a brilliant idea. He gave Kazuha a smirk and said, “I think I have an idea”.

You were assigned to accompany 5WIRLS to a charity event hosted by a newly award winning actor. Honestly, you didn't want to go. But the higher ups insisted on you. So like it or not. You have to go.

Dressing yourself up in your best dress. And you are good to go.

They sent you a limousine to escort you to the event. You're grateful for that but that also means you are going to be the closest you have been with him.

It had been a full three weeks since you shun him out of your life. It's going smoothly as you planned. But it's all going to be ruined now, if you don't make bad decisions.

You got in and spotted him. Sitting far back with an empty seat beside him. You make a brief eye contact with him and avert your gaze. Though, you could feel his stare on you still. Like he was saving it and inviting you to sit next to him.

No way that would happen.

Venti currently occupies two seats. You don't know why but he can't be greedy now. So you asked him to move so you could sit there. Venti, with no care for the tension between you and Kazuha, nodded and moved for you.

You sat down, finally. The driver started driving to the destination. A mansion, up on the hill. They said the scenery there was amazing and you can't wait to see it with your own eyes.

Everyone was minding their business. Aether was chatting up with Kazuha. Heizou had his earbuds on. Xiao was eating up his probably the 5th Almond tofu he had tonight.

And Venti, who was beside you, teases you and your dress. Saying, “I didn't know you had style, miss stylist” he grinned.

“why wouldn't I? That's literally my job”

He hummed and tapped his chin, “well, you always show up to work with hoodies and sweatpants—”.

This is getting embarrassing. You couldn't hear him expose you more so you quickly change the topic.

“why are you sitting on two seats anyway?” you cut his words.

He stopped talking for a few moments. His face turned unreadable which creeps you out. He was loud and wore his heart on his sleeve, most of the time. This scenery was new to you.

You anticipated his answer. Does it… does it have to do with Kazuha? You get rid of the thought as fast as it has entered.

“Because…”, he started, “because I can, duh”

You should've known this is one of his jokes. He laughed, which wasn't funny to begin with, and you gave him a long glare. “You should be a comedian with all your funny little jokes”, you remarked with full sarcasm.

Venti, only seeing the positive side of your word, clung his arm around your shoulder, “I knew you appreciated my humour, miss stylist” he smiled, “we'll make a good partner!”.

Now he's just saying nonsense. You glanced up and didn't miss how Kazuha's shoulder was stiff and his eyes narrowed a bit at the arm clinging on you.

Xiao, who was unknowingly listening, raised an eyebrow at Venti, “but… I thought she was already spoken for?” he said, genuinely and loudly.

Venti let out an embarrassingly loud 'huh?!'. You choked on your own spit. Aether and Kazuha stopped talking. Heizou took one of his earbuds off.

“oh, I must've thought wrong then” he casually brushed it off.

It was silent. Everyone slowly digested what Xiao had just uttered. Venti was the first to speak, or rather shout, “since when? and by whom!”, he wailed as he shook your shoulder. Kazuha’s jaw tightened as a small scowl slowly appeared on his face.

Heizou watched as everything unfolds. He couldn't stop his own smirk watching everyone's reaction. You had a horrified look on your face, Venti’s heartbroken, Xiao's stoic as usual, Aether was confused, and Kazuha… oh he had the best expression on. Heizou never saw him this mad. If they're in a cartoon, streams are probably coming out of his head right now.

Tonight's going to be interesting.

After what happened in the limo, you never want to face any of the boys anymore. The embarrassment will last for generations to come. Great… maybe you should consider getting a new job.

After arriving, you were greeted by the host's sister, Kamisato Ayaka. You cringed when she welcomed you with open arms. Now you can't help but feel how perfect Kazuha is with her.

You took a sharp breath and gave her a smile. Kazuha was right behind you and you skipped inside. You don't think your heart could take it if you saw them together.

The party was lively. The mansion was beautiful as it had been said in articles and news. You saw glimpses of the host, Kamisato Ayato, talking to other guests. You saw him get the award on TV. And after watching his nominated movie, he totally deserves it.

Since you knew no one here, except 5WIRLS, you lounge around the buffet with a drink in hand. Suddenly, someone tapped your shoulder. Turning around you're met with ethereal beauty.

It was Kamisato Ayaka. Again

A smile plastered on her face, “I'm sorry to bother you, but I've never seen your face before” she inquired.

Your whole body froze on the spot. She thinks you're a bum! and she wants to kick you out because you don't belong here!!

“um… I…”, you muttered as your mind spiraled into overthinking.

As if she could read your mind she quickly apologized, “that’s terribly rude of me. I meant to say that I want to know you. You look quite fascinating. I'm sure if we've met before I would notice you” she added and ease your worries.

You nodded at her explanation. She wanted to get to know you? your night can't be more surprising than this…

But it did.

Currently, you were having a bubbly chat with Ayaka. She was much more talkative than people had said online. She exceeded your expectations. Which makes sense why Kazuha would choose her.

You tried, so so hard, to get rid of him in your mind but you can't. Everything you see reminds you of him. Breeze in the morning, red coffee cup in the office pantry, fluffy stray cats along the street to your home and now, Ayaka.

She was perfect in every way. Even her laugh sounds like a melody people would put in songs.

Somehow, the conversation shifted into work. She was enamored by your line of work. When you mentioned you worked with 5WIRLS, she gasped audibly.

Her eyes shined differently and your heart dropped to your stomach. You brace yourself for what seems like a fangirling session from her.

“You get to see Aether every day?!” she squealed.

You blinked. She stood there while holding your hand. Her eyes sparkling with excitement.

What.

She can't be serious. Out of all people, Aether? Why didn't she ask about her boyfriend? Her alleged boyfriend.

You tilted your head to the side. Not bothering to cover your confusion, “... Aether? sure, I see him any other day” you said.

She jumped and proceeded to bombarded you with questions about him. You answered them as best as you could though still confused. Her questions seemed to have no end. You didn't know how to let her off when someone interrupted her.

“Having quite the chat, huh, sis?”

Deep but sultry voice. You looked up and saw the man of the party. Just like his younger sister, he was a man with beauty. Light blush tinted your cheek as he eyed you.

He gave you his winning smile, “I'm sorry about my sister. She must've talked your ears off” he chuckled. A breathy and attractive one that can make women of any age swoon.

You shake your head, “no, not at all” you said, “she was a great company”. He hummed and nodded. Ayaka was telling her brother off but he stayed rooted.

As if on cue, the music changed. People parted to the side. The middle of the room was reserved for those who wanted to dance. Ayato gave you a look, one that you didn't catch but Ayaka saw it.

“Don't even think about it” she muttered to her brother.

Ignoring his sister's protest he offered a hand to you, “people are getting on the dance floor” he smiled, “may I?”. You couldn't help but see past his request. It's odd.

Ayaka gasped and loudly expressed her opinion, “brother! you can't charm her so suddenly! I was talking to her” she exclaimed. A dance wouldn't hurt, would it. You fought your inner thoughts if you should accept it or not.

Nonetheless, you took his hand. He offered back a gentle grin as if to mock Ayaka. “I'll talk to you later, Ayaka” you waved her goodbye. Taking your leave from her, you strode to the dance floor with Ayato.

He held you close. His arm on you waist and back. Guiding you through the music. It was nice. You couldn't help but voice out your confusion, “why suddenly asked me to dance with you?” you said as he kept his pace with the beat.

He chuckled, “a friend told me to, said it will be interesting” he twirls you around, pressing you back onto his chest. You let out a gasp at the intimate pose.

“look over there” he breathe in your ear. He tilted your chin up so it matched his view. Your cheeks tinted with blush. You don't know what you're supposed to be looking at.

Then you saw it.

Kazuha.

Far away there with unreadable expressions. When you made eye contact with him you squirmed. He didn't waste any second and walked to your direction.

Ayato’s hold on you soften. You could feel him grinning as Kazuha stormed to you. “Very interesting indeed” he muttered to himself, “I'm sorry, fair lady, if you feel uncomfortable with me. But your knight in shining armour have come to your rescue”.

Kazuha was standing in front of you now with a glare that could kill Ayato. You're surprised he can get here that fast. He swat Ayato's hands from you, “have a little respect, would you?” he spat.

He was fuming, and you've never seen him like this before. It was… refreshing? to see him show other emotions than his usual calm demeanor.

Without giving Ayato a chance to speak he grabbed your hand and pulled you away. You were super confused. He pulls you away from the crowd of the party. Leading you out of the mansion.

When you had gotten far, you pulled your hands from his grip. That made him stop in his tracks.

“What are you doing?” you exasperated.

His back was turned away from you. He didn't look at you. He couldn't face you. How could he? He acted on his emotions. Seeing you get touchy with Ayato back there made him feel something he's not proud of.

He had spent so long keeping his emotions at bay. So long had he control himself from being a slave to his damned feelings. But it came to you. He wanted nothing more to rid all the rules he made to himself. He wanted nothing more to be selfish and have you.

He stood there in silence and you were getting frustrated.

“so are you gonna stand there or—”

“Is he it?”, he asked. Voice so low it could be lost in the night's cold winds.

“Is he what? Kazuha, I don't understand—”

He finally faced you and it shattered you. To see his face so contorted. His eyes glimmered with held back tears, probably the same as yours. His brows scrunched down to form a sad frown.

His hand moved to hold yours but he hesitated and pulled back. He took a deep shaky breath. “Is he the one that you love?” he searches your eyes to tell him that no, you don't love him.

You shook your head and Kazuha let out a breath he didn't know he held. He smiled, though a weak one. He took a step forward to you but you took two steps back.

He frowned at your action, “... then, why are you avoiding me?” he demanded. He made no move to close the distance.

You shifted where you stood, “I… I didn't avoid you” you mumbled. You did and he didn't knew why. You can't bring yourself to tell him. And right now you realized how selfish you've been to him.

He scoffed, “you didn't reply to any of my messages, calls and every time I saw you, you ran” he mocked.

His words hurt and you flinched unconsciously. You opened your mouth to explain but nothing came out.

“did I do something wrong?” he started.

“no—”

“then what is it? tell me and I'll fix it—”

He's searching for answers that you're not ready to reveal yet. He's pushing you to your limit and you can't take it. Your heart can't take it anymore. “it's me, okay! it's me” you snapped, “I can't do this anymore”.

He was stunned by your voice. it's sounded broken and wrong to him. He wanted to comfort you so bad. “... can't do what?” he whispered low.

“us!” you exasperated, “I can't deal with your affection to me when you already have other woman in your arm”. Tears already pooling in your eyes. You're not going to cry in front of him.

Like a stab, he froze in his place, “wha… what are you talking about”. He couldn't believe what he heard. What do you mean by that? Don't you know he only had eyes for you. Don't you know he faked a wardrobe malfunction just so he could talk to you. He had always, always went out of his way for you and he never once thought it was a hindrance.

You took a deep breath, “I saw those rumours” you explained, “I'm happy for you… I really am. It's just, I need a moment to myself”.

He swear he could hear his heart shattered. He shook his head, “No!” he could only utter. He took a step forward, “please, just— listen to me” he begged.

“I was only helping her. She was a fan of Aether. My family know her family. And she asked me for help and I—”,

He grabbed your wrist, “I could've never love anyone as I did with you” he pleaded and puts your hand on his beating chest. You wanted to pull away but his grip on you was firm.

His heart was thumping so fast you were worried. You looked at him in disbelieve. His lips tugged into a smile, “I hoped that's enough proof for you” he said and squeezed your hand.

He whispered your name, “I love you. So much that it's eating me alive”.

You frowned, “... why? why choose me? why not be with someone like Ayaka". The conclusion that he could have loved you like you did to him feels foreign and impossible. But you want to believe him. You want to be happy with him.

His other hand cupped your face, “there's so much reason for me to. And my first one is because it's you” he chuckled, “the way you laugh, the way you light up when you talk about your favourite thing, the way you always fall asleep in meetings”.

Your face burned at that, “that doesn't sound like a good quality to have”. You unknowningly leaned into his touch. Your body leaning closer to him.

He hummed, “and it makes me fall in love with you all over again” he smiled and rubbed your cheek with his thumb.

You gazed at him. His looks on you were soft and tender.

“... I'm sorry” you blurted, “I shouldn't have assumed”.

He shook his head, “no, I'm sorry. I should've told you long ago” he said, “although, I can think of a few ways you can make it up for the days you ignored me”.

You gulped, “what do I have to do?”.

“Go on a date with me, tons of dates” he smirked and embraced you. You let a breathy chuckled and cling yourself to him. You could do that. You definitely could do that.

“You seen Kazuha anywhere?” Aether asked Heizou who was helping himself with the food. He hummed for a second and shrugged, “last I heard of him, he took the stylist out of this place” he recalled.

“Aw shucks” Aether muttered under his breath.

Heizou arched his eyebrows, “why? you need him for something?”.

Aether huffed, “I was supposed to help him with her. Ugh, I hope he didn't do anything stupid. I had a plan too!” he grunted. He took something off Heizou's plate and munched on it to calm his frustration.

Heizou swatted Aether's hand away, “I already took care of that, don't worry” he nodded.

That made Aether tilted his head, “uh, you ‘took care’ of it?”.

“yup” he popped, “I told Ayato to get close to her and boom he's running to claim his girl” he explained.

Aether took a moment to digest this and gasped, “that's so much better than mine!” he whined. He continued to nagged Heizou to tell him how he found out about Kazuha and you. But Heizou kept his mouth closed.

Safe to say that neither of you were being subtle about it to begin with.