Valentine’s Day was always crappy for me because I’d never been in love on that day. Hell, I don’t think I’d ever been in love. The few men that I’ve had relationships with were basically jerks who liked the way I sucked their dicks and/or took advantage of me being nice. So when I met and got involved with Raekwon, I decided to do things differently. I wasn’t as nice with him and I withheld sex until I felt the time was right, which was over a month after we met. He let me know upfront that he wasn’t perfect and that his main priority was staying out of trouble. I ended up giving him a chance and I prayed every day that it wasn’t a mistake.
“I want you to move in,” I told him immediately after morning sex.
He looked over at me, laughed for a quick second, and then replied, “Damn, I ain’t know the dick was that good to you.”
“Boo, as much as I like spendin’ the night over here and everything, I can’t just move out on my homeboy like that. We split the rent and he won’t be able to afford the place on his own.”
“Tell him immediately so he can find someone else.”
“El, I can’t do that right now. I’m sorry, baby.”
“I just had to ask. It’s been on my mind ever for a while now.”
“If I could move in with you today, I’d do it. You know I would.” He pushed the covers off of him and climbed out of my bed. “Damn, where my boxers at?”
“They’re over here on my side.” I reached down to the floor and picked his boxers up. “If you want them then come and get them, big boy.” I put them behind my back. He laughed and quickly got on top of me and started kissing me.
I met Raekwon Johnson six months ago while on my lunch break. There’s this Mexican restaurant that I always ate at for lunch not far from my job, and one day all the tables were taken. So I randomly sat down at one of the tables where only one person was sitting, and he was that person sitting there. I usually didn’t do things like that but when I’m hungry, I do crazy things. At first, I thought he was going to be homophobic and tell me to get up; but then he smiled and actually began a conversation with me. As a result, we had our first date the moment we first met.
Raekwon was unlike any other guy I’d been with due to how honest he was. He told me upfront that he was openly bisexual but that he struggled with it because of how many friends he’d lost due to it. He told me about how he spent nearly five years in prison for shooting a man in a nightclub. He even told me about how afraid he was of being alone due to how his mama used to abandon him when he was a kid. I’d never been with a man who allowed himself to be vulnerable in the way Raekwon did. It seemed like most masculine queer men in Atlanta were afraid of being vulnerable or allowing themselves to be compassionate. I understood the reason for it, but at the same time I was annoyed by it.
“You’re cooking?” I asked as I entered the kitchen after my shower. “Baby, you didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s just some burnt bologna and eggs,” he said with a laugh. “It’s Valentine’s Day and since I’m gonna be workin’ late, I figured I might as well do somethin’ special for you.”
“Aw, thank you.” I stepped over to the stove and kissed him before going over to the table and sitting down. “How late will you be working?”
“After my construction shift, I’m workin’ a six to eleven security shift at that science lab place that hired me last week.”
“I’m a little upset that I have to spend most of Valentine’s Day without you, but I can’t get mad at you wanting to make money.”
“I know this our first V-Day and it’s supposed to be special, so you don’t have to put on an act with me, Elgin.”
“It’s not an act, baby. Believe it or not, I’ve never really celebrated Valentine’s Day.”
I shook my head and told him, “All of the men, and I mean all, that I’ve been with just weren’t Valentine’s Day material. I’ve never gotten flowers or balloons or even candy. I know those are just material things but little things like that are good to have every once in a while.”
“Hmm, if I didn’t know any better I’d think that was a hint.” He smiled and then turned back to the stove to put the food on two plates for us. He brought them to the table and then sat down across from me. “So, what you got planned for the day?”
“Work. Terry and Ivan want me to hang out with them tonight, but I’m probably just gonna come back here and wait for you to get off work so you can either come over or we can talk on the phone.”
“You should hang out with your friends, boo. I don’t want you to be by yourself on V-Day.”
“It’s fine, Rae. I’m used to it. At least I can say I’m in a beneficial relationship for the first time. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”
He flashed this cocky smile and asked, “I make you happy, huh?”
“Okay, don’t get a bighead.” I laughed and informed him, “Making me happy is the easy part. Keeping me happy is where the hard work kicks in.”
“Well, I’m a hard worker.”
“You better be.” I smiled as I began to eat the breakfast he’d cooked. “Mmm, this is good, baby.”
After eating breakfast, he headed out so he could get back to his place to shower and change for work. I headed out a little while later for work and while driving, I had the strangest experience. It happened when I stopped at this red light in the midtown area. It began with butterflies in my stomach and then goosebumps formed all over my skin. I could feel myself blushing as my cheeks began to scrunch up like I’d just eaten something very sweet for the first time in a long time. My heart was pounding and I had to take a few deep breaths and exhale slowly. It wasn’t until cars blew their horns at me that I realized the light had jumped to green. I resumed driving and when I got to my job, I sat in my car for a little while trying to wrap my mind around what that sensation was all about.
“Good morning, babes,” my friend and coworker Terry said the moment I entered the boutique. He noticed the look on my face and asked, “Elgin, you okay?”
“Yeah,” I told him as I approached the front counter. “Terry, I just had the weirdest feeling on my way here. I had butterflies in my stomach and my heart was racing and my cheeks felt weird like I’d eaten a piece of candy for the first time in months. It had me so distracted that I lost control of reality for like a few seconds.”
“Hmm, that is weird. Is something on your mind?”
“Not really. I mean, today is Valentine’s Day and for the first time I’m actually in a decent relationship. I just don’t know…”
“Oh my God.” His eyes widened and he had this big smile on his face. “El, you’re in love.”
“Terry, I’m being serious. Maybe I’m coming down with the flu or something.”
“Nope, you have been bit by the lovebug, boo-boo.”
“What does any of that have to do with being in love?”
“Trust me, I’ve been there. That shit really does hit you out of the blue. But damn, you’ve been with Raekwon for like six months now. What took you so long?”
“I’m not in love with him yet, Terry.”
“You may think that but your body doesn’t agree. Your senses don’t agree. You’re probably being too stubborn as usual.”
I laughed and told him, “You’re crazy. I’m happy with Rae but that doesn’t mean I’m in love. Love takes time.”
“Baby boy, you can’t predict when love calls. It don’t work like that. You could’ve fallen in love with him on the day you met if it was meant to be that way.”
“Whatever. I’m gonna go clock in.”
I walked to the back of the store and put my thumb on the thumbprint reader so that I could be clocked in for my shift. After that, I sat my bag down and took off my jacket. I was about to put my phone on silent but Raekwon sent me a text message asking me to have lunch at that Mexican restaurant we met at. I told him I’d be there and then I put my phone on silent and stashed it away in my bag on the floor before heading back out front to help Terry.
“Mrs. Lewis is trippin’,” Terry said as we set up a display together in the display window. “She wants me to come in on Saturday because one of them bitches asked her for Saturday off. She knows I don’t do weekends.”
“Ooh, I feel you,” I told him. “I don’t do weekends either. Are you gonna do it?”
“What choice do I have? I don’t wanna get on her bad side. You know nobody else around here pays sixteen dollars an hour. I’m trying to go back to college after next summer so I need this money.”
He held up the dress we were going to be putting on the mannequin and asked, “Why do these women pay so much money for something like this? It’s just a simple black dress.”
“I don’t know. Probably because the fabric feels nice.” I helped him get the dress on the mannequin before asking, “About this love thing, if I am in love then what am I supposed to do? I haven’t said the three words to Raekwon and he hasn’t said them to me yet.”
“Yep, that’s usually the problem. Who will say it first? I’ve been on both sides. I’ve said it first and I’ve also had it said to me first. The only advice I could give you is to wait for the perfect moment to say it. If that moment doesn’t come, then maybe he’ll say it before you get the chance.”
“I’ve been with guys for more than a year before and they never say it. I did have one boyfriend who said it but I’m sure he didn’t mean it. I’m scared that if I do say it to Rae, he won’t say it back.”
He laughed and said, “Bitch, please. You know if you say it then that nigga will say it back with the quickness. You got that nigga whipped. He’s always calling or texting you to let you know where he is and shit. I wish Hassan’s no-good ass was like that.”
“How are you and Hassan by the way?”
“We’re cool. He’s still mad about me being friends with my ex, but we’re cool.”
“That’s good. I told you the day we met him in the mall that he was the one for you, Terry.”
He giggled and admitted, “Yeah, you did. You were right. Damn, I can’t believe it’s been two years.”
We finished setting up the display and stepped away from the window. After unlocking the door for customers to come in, he asked me, “Are you coming out tonight with me and Ivan?”
“Nah, I’m just gonna kick it at home. Rae has to work and I’m not really in the mood to celebrate Valentine’s Day.”
“You’re never in the mood to celebrate it. When are you gonna stop being so damn stubborn and let go of your past experiences, El? Raekwon isn’t Darrius or James or any other nigga who did you wrong. Even you can agree he’s been different than them fuckboys.”
“There is no but. You said he makes you happy, right?”
“Then allow that happiness to grow. He took a chance by letting you into his life the same way you took a chance by letting him into yours. You owe it to yourself and to him to see where this goes. There’s nothing wrong with love, El. It can be scary but it’s worth the ride.”
As usual, Terry had given me sound advice. Out of all my friends, he was always the one who made me stop and think about what was best for me. So when my lunchbreak rolled around, I went to the Mexican restaurant with the courage to tell Raekwon that I did love him. However, he wasn’t there when I got there. I sat down at an empty table and placed my order with the waiter. I texted Raekwon while I waited but he didn’t text back, which I thought was strange.
“Hi,” said a guy who looked like the manager of the restaurant. “You’re Elgin, right?”
“Um, yes,” I said nervously.
“I was shown a picture of you and paid to give you this.” He handed me a note and then walked away.
I had no idea what the hell was going on. I looked at the note and read it:
The note was so cute that it made my heart skip a beat. I wanted to pull out my phone and see what was exactly at that address, but I decided to leave it up to surprise. I couldn’t believe Raekwon was surprising me like this. The butterflies were in my stomach again. After eating my lunch and heading back to the boutique, I looked at the clock and waited for five-thirty to arrive.
“Why do you keep looking at the clock?” Terry asked me. “Your eyes aren’t going to make the time go by faster.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” I told him, “but Rae gave me this cute ass note.” I pulled the note out and handed it to him.
He read it and said, “Aw, this shit is so cute and romantic. Damn, your man has good handwriting. What do you think he has planned?”
“I don’t know but I’m looking forward to it. I can’t believe he’s doing this. And all because I said I never really celebrated Valentine’s Day before.”
“Aw, that means he listened to you. See, you don’t have anything to worry about, El. I bet he has some real special shit planned for you.”
That workday couldn’t have ended fast enough for me. The moment five-thirty rolled around, I clocked out and grabbed my stuff. I drove to the address Raekwon had written down in the note and was surprised to see it was a flower shop. I entered and slowly made my way up to the front counter.
“Hi,” said a woman as she noticed me standing there. “How may I help you?”
“Um, I’m not sure,” I told her. “My name is Elgin and…”
“Oh, you’re Elgin.” She smiled and reached under the counter and pulled out this basket filled with red roses and blue violets. There was a note tucked in, separating the violets from the roses. “Here you go.” She handed the basket to me. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Thank you.” I walked out of the shop and after getting back into my car, I read the note that was tucked in between the flowers:
I laughed to myself as I started up my car and began driving towards the McDonald’s. I still couldn’t believe how quickly he’d put this whole thing together. Normally, I’d think something like this was a little cheesy or corny, but I was all giddy inside. I arrived at the McDonald’s off of Ponce de Leon Avenue in midtown Atlanta. I walked in and the moment I walked to the order side, the girl behind the register smiled and said, “One second.”
“Okay,” I said back, not knowing what to expect.
She made a medium-sized strawberry milkshake and after putting the whipped cream and cherry on top, she pulled a note out of her back pocket. She handed both the milkshake and note to me and said, “Your boyfriend is really sweet. And you look just as cute in the photo he showed me as you do in person, Elgin. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Thank you.” I walked back out to my car and read the letter once I was inside:
I drank the milkshake as fast as I could—giving myself several brain freezes—before restarting my car and driving it to the next address. I ended up at the Ansley mall, which I’d never been to before. So I walked in and located the store number he’d written in the note. I swear I damn near jumped out of my skin when I saw it was a jewelry store. I really had to calm myself because I didn’t want people looking at me weird if I lost it right there in that store.
“Are you Elgin?” the old white man behind the counter asked the moment I stepped into the store.
“Yes,” I replied excitedly as I approached him.
“I’ve been expecting you.” He pulled out a small black velvet box and a note and handed them to me. “Those are for you from Raekwon. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Shaking and with my heart pounding in my chest, I told him, “Thank you, sir.” I didn’t want to open the small black velvet box because I knew I would probably cry and I was an ugly crier for real. So I made my way back to my car and once inside, I opened the small box to see two diamond earrings inside. And the diamonds were real! I shook my head and said to myself, “No he didn’t! That’s it, he’s getting some ass tonight. Any way he wants it.” I looked at myself in my rearview mirror as I took out my current earrings and put in the diamond ones. They looked amazing. I then looked at the note and read it:
I drove home and hurried inside to see what he’d planned next. When I walked into my bedroom and saw what was on my bed, I immediately thanked myself for giving him a key to my apartment in January. He’d bought me a new outfit from H&M and some new Timberlands that I could already tell would look good on me. The black cardigan sweater matched the black skinny pants and the sweatshirt had this cute beige and black stripe design. I had tears in my eyes not only because he’d bought all that stuff, but also because he knew my fashion taste to a T. He even knew what sizes I wore for everything.
“Damn, baby,” I said to myself as I wiped my eyes. I pulled myself together and picked up the note that was lying on my bed beside the clothes and read it:
“Oh, I’m gonna show off tonight,” I said to myself as I pulled out my phone to text Terry and Ivan.
A couple of hours later, I took a shower and put on my new outfit. I felt so good and sexy and confident as I left my apartment. Raekwon had already set himself apart from any of my previous boyfriends before that day, but now I was really blown away. I still believed the material things weren’t that important, but I sure didn’t mind them. And when I saw the looks on my friends’ faces when I met up with them at our favorite bar, I just lit up inside.
“I thought you said he hates spending money?” Ivan asked me. “That nigga done spent hella money on your Blasian looking ass.”
I laughed and told him, “The close are from H&M so they couldn’t have been that expensive.”
“Altogether though, he probably spent a good grip,” chimed in Terry. “I can tell from here that those diamonds in your ear are real.”
“I think the note thing was adorable,” said Ivan. “He did all of that while on his lunchbreak?”
I took a quick sip from my martini and answered, “Yep.”
“I can’t believe you were worried,” Terry told me. “Your man is obviously in love with you.”
“I wish I had a man,” said Ivan. “When y’all leave here, you get to go home to your men to have some Valentine’s Day sex. I gotta go home to my bitchy ass roommate. Y’all always have all the luck.”
“Your time will come, Ivan,” I told him. “And Rae won’t be home when I get back. He’s working late tonight. I’ll probably be sleep by the time he stops by.”
“I bet you’re still gonna give him some ass,” Terry joked.
“Of course I am. Shit, he’s earned it. He can have this ass any way he wants it tonight. And I don’t care anymore, I’m gonna tell him I love him first. That man has removed all of my doubts.”
“Aw,” said Ivan. “I’m happy for you, El.”
“Me, too,” said Terry. We shared a brief group hug and then ordered another round of drinks.
I’d made the right decision by taking a taxi that night because I had one too many drinks and was tipsy as hell by the time I was leaving. I went back home and after paying the taxi driver, I went up to my apartment. The moment I walked in and noticed a bunch of candles were lit all over the place, I knew Raekwon was up to yet another surprise. He’d told me in his last note that he had something else planned but I thought I’d have to wait until he got off work. I closed the door and stepped further into the apartment, and that’s when I could hear some soft music playing in my kitchen. I walked in there to see his fine ass standing by stove.
“What are you doing here?” I asked with a smile. “I thought you were working your second job until late.”
“I was,” he explained, “but the other dude workin’ security told me he’d cover for me after I told him this is my first Valentine’s Day with the special person in my life. Come here, baby.”
I stepped up to him and he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head and then pulled back to kiss my lips while keeping his arms around me. I smiled big and asked, “What else do you have planned?”
“Our dinner is heating up in the oven right now. It’s takeout from Red Lobster. I wanted us to eat in there but with work and shit, I knew it would be impossible to get a table this late. I know I had to nigga-rig this shit up but I hope it was enough for you. Happy V-Day, boo.”
“Baby, this is more than I could ever want. You really didn’t have to do all this.”
“Yes I did. My boo never had a real Valentine’s Day and after you told me that, it damn near broke my heart. Baby, you deserve this and more. All of them fuckboys you were with before me need to be ashamed of themselves. Shit is mad pathetic. How could they not do anything special for your cute ass?”
I giggled as tears filled my eyes. I felt that feeling again that I’d felt earlier that morning on my way to work as I stared into his eyes and softly said, “Raekwon, I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. I love you, too.” He kissed me again and then pulled away to get our food out of the oven. “You know, when I was locked up I used to think about what my life would be like when I found the right woman or man. It was one of the things that kept me focused on changing my life. I’ve loved before but I ain’t never felt like I was with the person that I was supposed to be with until I met you. I don’t know how it is for you, but about two months into our relationship I started gettin’ this knot in my stomach. I know I should’ve told you a long ass time ago that I love you but I’m still tryin’ to adjust to all this.”
“That’s exactly how I feel, baby.”
“Yeah. The only thing is I just had that experience today.”
He brought the food to the table and sat down across from me before saying, “Now that we’re both on the same page, I think the time is right to tell you I told my homeboy he’s gonna have to find a new roomie in a few weeks. Boo, I wanna move in here with you.”
“Aw, baby.” I got up and sat down on his lap. “Thank you so much.”
“For what, wantin’ to move in with you?”
“No, for making this Valentine’s Day the best of my life. And also for breaking my curse with boyfriends.” We shared a laugh when I said that. “Seriously, thank you for coming into my life, Raekwon.”
“And thank you for comin’ into mine.” He kissed my lips a few times before saying, “Now let’s eat so we can get to the grown and sexy shit. You know I’ve been horny all day.”
I smiled at him and told him, “Oh, I’m gonna put it on you tonight. Best believe that, baby.”
“That’s wassup, boo. Damn, I love you.”
I laid my head on his shoulder while he ate and told him, “And I love you. I can hear you say that over and over again, and I will say it right back to you. For as long as you need me to.”
[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.
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