𝑷𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒅𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒔

10 things I hate about you | Eren x reader

Ch.1

Ch.2

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Ch.5

Ch.6

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Ch.12

Ch.13

Ch.14

Ch.15

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Ch.17

Ch.18

Fashion designer

Ch.1

Ch.2

Ch.3

One shots

Older sister Haitani

Toxic | Armin x reader

You’re mine | Jean x reader

Not him | Eren x reader

High standards | Nanami x reader

You and Erens relationship couldn’t be more strained, a working man with an exhausted stay at home mom? Not a perfect combo but they make it work.

—

You and Eren were both extremely busy. He was balancing being a CEO at his father’s company and constantly felt himself buckling under the pressure and you were a housewife juggling 3 kids who were all in school and did sports.

This left no time for the two of you to relax and enjoy each other's company, every time you tried your kids would need something or one of you would be too tired to do anything else but sleep,

Your sex life was nonexistent and your relationship was nothing but bland, no spark, no dates, nothing but arguments and silence.

You sighed looking at your kids dirty sports uniform as you did laundry, the jerseys were covered in dirt and the only thing that looked semi decent was your daughter’s leotard, well minus the big ass chocolate ice cream stain on it, “I’m gonna make them do their own laundry” you sucked your teeth putting the clothes in the washer and turning it on,

You folded and hung the clothes in the laundry room vs your usual living room set up as you were practically hiding from your rowdy kids and their friends. You heard thumbs and laughs from upstairs and could only sigh in frustration as the thought of your white walls getting stained with dirty hands, “something else to clean”

After a while the washer was done and you began to put the clothes in the dryer, a couple of dryer sheets and then you turned it on, returning to your folding and hanging.

When everything was done you took a deep breath turning the door knob prepared to enter your own little hell. As you slowly twisted someone on the other end twisted faster, you sucked your teeth thinking it was your son, “EJ stop playing around” you opened the door only for it to be pushed back on you,

There stood Eren with a bouquet of flowers clearly out of breath as he forced his way through the door, “Hi” he said needing to take a breather.

You looked at him shocked, “Hello? Why are you home?” I furrowed my brows at his distressed state,

“I missed you” was his answer,

“So you’re not at work right now because you missed me?” You didn’t truly believe him even if he had no reason to lie,

“Yes, baby I’ve been thinking about us” he handed me the flowers, “we’ve been so bad lately and I can’t handle it” He sounded genuine and stressed,

You looked down at the flowers shocked he even got you any after what felt like forever, “yeah I know we’ve been….weird”

“I love you too much to let it stay like that” he kissed me and at first it left me shocked but it didn’t stop me from returning it, “baby” he looked me in my eyes,

“Hm?” I held his eye contact

“Jump” he cupped the bottom of my ass and lifted me onto the washing machine,

His lips didn’t leave mine once they sucked me in again, our tongues dance for what felt like the first time and as I felt his hand reach for my jeans button I aided him in taking them off, I pushed his chest to pull away from the kiss so I could focus on taking my pants off quickly. I jumped down from the washing machine, “fuck we have 10 minutes” I quickly slid my pants and underwear off saving the dramatics. He lifted my chin and kissed me before I got to my knees and pulled his pants off as well,

I quickly used my mouth as lube to wet his dick, I parted my lips and coated everything I wanted inside me, taking all of him in for a few seconds before getting on my feet.

He pulled my hair positioning me in front of the washer so I had something to grip on to as he wasted no time entering me, “fuck” I tried to whisper being cautious. I felt his balls smack against my pussy as he got fully in me. He put his hand on top of mine leaning over me so that our heads were next to each other, he kissed my neck as he roughly fucked into me, “Fuck Ren” I moaned into his ear,

He placed his hand on my waist to get a deeper position, “you hide in here all day while I’m gone?” He asked softly into my ear,

“Mhm” I moaned feeling myself unravel beneath him, “all day”

“Do you miss me?” He started kissing my neck again,

“All day” I replied again not even being able to think properly,

“You love it when I fuck you silly” his thrust got slower but rougher,

“Mhm” I pushed myself back into him as his slow thrust weren’t enough for me to get my release,

He pulled out of you, making you put your head down completely as your legs started to shake as he rubbed his dick across your sensitive folds. He turned you around and once again lifted you on the washer before entering you again, you held on for dear life as he was going fast enough to give you your release this time, you put your forehead againist his as you sucked on his bottom lip “fuck a baby in me” you breathed heavy againinst his lip,

He laughed at you, “fuck no.”

As you felt your climax get even closer you lifted yourself off the washer for him to hold you completely. He locked lips with yours and moved your body up and down, you felt your release shortly followed after was his cum seeping into you as he overstimulated you both trying to fuck it into you,

“The queen always get what she wants” you laughed against him both of you sweaty and out of breath,

“I suppose” he said setting you down slowly letting your arms still grip his shoulders as he helped you put your pants on, “I love you baby”

“I love you more” I smiled. This was the first time we’d shared a personal moment in months,

“Impossible” he buckled his pants and picked you up. As we left the laundry room and the fresh AC hit us we laughed, “let’s drop the kids off and watch a movie tonight?”

The following weeks were okay, the quarter was about to close so teachers were focused on getting grades up. Because I had Annie who was effortlessly good at school, I didn't have to worry too much about my grades this time around.

She was really holding true on that ‘at least making it out of highschool’ thing and I guess staying back was not an option either,

She tried teaching me certain subjects but in the end gave up and just thought of creative ways to help me cheat my way through stuff.

Living with her and her dad was honestly super fun, although he came home pretty late the three of us had built a routine. I cleaned the kitchen, Annie cleaned the front room and because both of us stayed up pretty late her dad would bring us dinner or groceries and the three of us would rock, paper, scissors who had to cook. I never minded though it was much better than what I was used to, which was cooking for everyone, everyday without a choice.

I did miss Angie but we talked on the phone when I could and I was in no rush to return home so I had to suck it up and just live with the feeling of not seeing her everyday telling myself it was better that way,

Especially because,

Life was good.

-

“Hello this is a collect call from Trost County jail for inmate D/n L/n. Say yes if you would like to accept.”

“yes” I was basically still asleep when I answered the phone so I automatically just answered barely registering who the fuck I was about to be talking to.

“Y/n! Is that you?” His voice finally jolted me awake. “Listen I went downtown and I got myself into a situation I need you to call Ashley”

“Why didn’t you call her?”

“I forgot her phone number y/n shit” he said frantically. “Listen I get one call and-“

“Well it seems you wasted your call” I hang up the phone and roll back over to sleep.

-

And I intended to keep it that way.

I was tired of disappointing everyone, especially those who looked out for me because not many people did.

The drugs began to have no effect and Annie was done supplying me with anything other than weed so I took it upon myself to make changes in my life for the better and to move on from my past completely.

I started looking for a job and since I knew someone that would give into me easily despite my past i went there first.

“Come on fFoch I’ll work everyday after school until 10! That’s 8 hours a day!”

“No y/n I’m not giving you a job so you can fund your addiction” he said wiping tables. I take a rag and start wiping as well.

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not doing anymore huh?”

“Last time you said that I had to hear from someone else you almost overdose, and I gave you money that night!” He stops cleaning to look at me, “do you know how guilty I felt?”

“Listen Floch that wasn’t your fault and besides it wasn’t my intention” I dip the rag in the soapy water again and ring it out

“Hey so you definitely funded the drugs I almost died on but it’s not your fault” he mocks

“Okay maybe that doesn’t sound the best” I put on an awkward smile

“You think?” He tries to walk away to the back of the restaurant but I move in front of him.

“Drug test. I’ll do a drug test and I swear all you’ll find is weed”

“Fine” He gives in frustratedly

“Really” I smile

“You better be telling the truth” he rolls his eyes

“You won’t regret this” I squeal and hug him

“I already am” he tries his best to get me off of him but I don’t budge, “okay that’s enough of this”

I rush out the door and hurry to my car, I promised Annie to pick up groceries before Maria Mart closed

-

As I rushed to get everything Annie asked for I couldn’t help but get off topic and explore the snack aisle, as I walked down the chips I see none other than Eren standing in front of the chips I came for, I curse myself for living in a small town under my breath before also cursing myself for getting a cart with a bad wheel leaving me unable to turn around not like it mattered as he already saw me standing there,

“You stalking me?” He turns to look at me with eyes redder than the apples in my cart that didn’t go with his pearly white smile, I sigh just deciding to say fuck the chips and walk pass him but of course life wouldn’t be so kind, “hey what should I get bbq or salt and vinegar?”

“It’d be cannibalism for you to get salt and vinegar” I say the first insult my mind can think of making me sound stupid and the atmosphere 100 times more awkward,

“And you’d be sweet bbq” he smiled grabbing both, “that’s why they go so well together huh?” I was shocked he tried to match my awkwardness instead of laughing in my face but then again he was higher than clouds right now so he didn’t have the capability of really being himself. His annoying, rude, arrogant self.

“I grab the chips I want and leave the aisle and go to self check out,” But to my surprise he stood right behind me. I scanned my items and walked to the parking lot and you wouldn’t believe who followed me,

“We should do something for that project tomorrow” he looked me up and down leaning on my car so I couldn’t enter my driver's seat.

“Okay Eren” I say just wanting him to move,

“Why the rush? You got someone to meet” I sigh at his refusal to move,

“Just Annie. I have to bring groceries home.” I found myself over sharing with him and I didn’t know why but he always had that effect on me for as long as I could remember I would over share with him so he’d have less to pick on me for but that always backfired. Exhibit A

“So you two are living together? Does that mean it’s true you swing that way?”

“What?” My eyes widen

“Are you like the top or bottom?”

“MOVE EREN” I say firmly and loudly, making him laugh at me.

“I don’t even know why I asked everyone knows you wouldn’t be dominating anyone”

“Get the fuck out of my way” I say losing my shit a little just wanting him to move.

He scoffs but moves and as he walks away he whispers, “Fucking crybaby” under his breath.

I got in my car and let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I cranked the car and it acted like it didn’t want to turn on and I scoff “Not now snow” I catch myself calling the car by a name my mom gave it and I guess due to force of habit I started calling her that too. “ listen as soon as I get paid I’ll take you to the shop! I know you’ve been neglected but I’m trying my best here” I sigh knowing I probably looked crazy, “please turn on for me” I crank the car again and it still doesn’t turn on, “worthless piece of-“ I hear the engine turn on “never mind” I pull out of the parking lot and make my way home.

-

I explain to Annie my whole day but try to leave out the job part because I know how she’d get but of course I had the biggest mouth and accidentally spilled.

“Job?” She said furrowing her eyebrows

“Yes and I know you don’t want me having one but honestly I need the money, my mom might want her car back when she comes home, and besides I want to start life fresh and maybe-“ I stop myself from speaking afraid what I say might offend her

“Maybe what?” She crosses her arms

“Maybe I could save for my own place” I whisper not making eye contact with her

“Why? You don’t like it here or something?” She says immediately getting defensive like I knew she would.

“No, no that’s not it at all it’s just that I feel like leech-“ she interrupts me

“Look y/n, you know I just don’t want you adding more to your plate while you’re still new to this recovery thing, I don’t think it’s good for you but if you think you can handle it then go for it I won’t stop you from trying to do better for yourself”

I make eye contact with her and give her a slight smile not expecting her reaction at all, “really?”

“BUT, if for a second you feel it’s too much, quit. I don’t view you as a leech” she said the last part quietly but I still heard it and hugged her, today I was hugging everyone and I didn’t know why or what was wrong with me it just felt right to give hugs

“Okay that’s enough” she tapped my head and I let her go.

-

Later that night we laid in bed watching Netflix as I forcefully cuddled her and she just accepted it, “Hey Ann?” I say as my chin dug into her shoulder trying to see the tv over her head,

“What?” She says barely paying attention to me as she tried to watch her show?

“You should let me be the little spoon sometimes”

“I don’t even want you being the big spoon” she says, still not really paying attention to me because she was trying to give her show her full attention but that didn’t stop me from talking.

“Hey Ann?”

“What y/n?” She says a bit aggravated making me smile

“I just wanted to tell you, Thank you for everything” before she could respond I let her lose and turned on my other side making our backs face each other.

The last thing I remember is the bed creaking and a pair of arms wrapping around my stomach,

TW: ADDICTION,SA,ABUSE

“What exactly do you want to know” I saw silently tapping my foot on the floor. I didn’t really wanna give her my life story but knowing Annie I’d have to.

“Everything. Lay it all out on the table. No more secrets” she looked at my foot but didn’t say anything.

“Okay. So my moms an addict-“

“I know.” She interrupted.

“I know you know the whole town knows but I’m starting from the beginning so I don’t miss something” I laugh at her sudden interruption before returning to the face I had before that reflected only sadness.

“So my moms an addict and my dads a teacher. My mom grew up shitty so she allowed me to grow up the same way. In my eyes I’ve never even had a mother. When I was little I’d have to pour water on her head to make sure she was still alive, every night I’d have to see my mother take drugs and when she got really out of it she’d offer me some. Sometimes I even had to see my dad doing them. It was like a game to them, something fun to do. To get high and forget I was even there” my hands we’re pulling the ends of my hair as unwanted memories began to unlock themselves and wander in my mind.

“When my mom would be sober for just a few hours she’d go crazy. She used to beat me because she claimed I stole from her, it was either money or drugs. I was 7 years old when my mom called me every slut, whore and useless bitch she could think of, telling me I would be nothing. I'd probably stand on the corner for money and let men use me. She used to laugh at that and she was sober when she said this” tears began to slip but I had to get this out.

“I-I’ve never told anyone this but when my dad wasn’t home I remember having to watch my mother fuck different men just for drugs. I’d be right there but she didn’t care. No one did. When I started showing signs of being hyper sexual at a young age because of it my dad would tell me it was only okay to act that way in private. He never took into account I was so little I shouldn’t have been acting that way at all, I should’ve never known what that even was.” Now that I’m older I know why he out of all people didn’t care

“I-I’m sorry I’m off track” I said my voice cracking so bad.

Annie scooted closer, “you’re fine let everything out. Lay it all on the table” she got off the bed and brought the box of tissues from off her desk.

I take one and wipe my tears. “So much is coming up, so many things I forgot about” I try to explain myself,

“That happens” she tries to reassure me,

“Okay, u-um” I say trying to figure out where I left off, “when I was 12 my parents divorced and my mom was sent to a mental hospital for rehabilitation. It never helped her but it was either send her there or meet her at the grave. My dad never let me visit her, only ever got to call her. He said he didn’t want me to see her like that. The first month my parents got divorced was the worst, my dad got so mean, he had mood swings really bad and they were all directed at me, sometimes I was his princess and sometimes I was a whore. And my mom never really answered the phone; she didn’t want to talk to me. She told me I reminded her of everything bad and how she failed and never really answered the phone after that.” I sobbed and I couldn't continue because I knew what was coming up.

“Let it out,” Annie reassured.

“A few days before my 13th birthday I asked him to give me 30 dollars for a bouncy house. I told him I’d work for it and everything and I had already saved money that my moms “friends” used to give me when they came over.” I quickly skipped over this topic because as memories come back so does the trauma and severity of the situations and I can’t bring myself to deal with any of that and I think Annie knew that.

“He ended up leaving and coming back at a late hour so I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn’t get into trouble because I never knew his mood. He ended up coming into my room and-” i sigh. “ he put his hand in my underwear. I-I was so startled I tried to get up but he just put his hand on my mouth and made me lay on my side so he could-“

“You don’t have to tell me about it in detail” Annie said looking into your eyes all she saw was pain, she knew it was too much for you to handle remembering such a topic.

“I-I didn’t know it was bad b-but the way he talked to me made me want him to stop. He kept calling me names telling me that I was a slut, making me feel worthless. When he was done I called hitch because I knew she’d answer and she did. Hitch was raised better than me and that was evident in the way she knew all her wrongs and rights. I was so stupid, no one ever taught me about sexual assault and I didn’t know what it was until that day-“

“And it’s crazy really, at that age I could tell you every drug my mother used, I could even tell the difference between the ones that went up her nose and the ones that went in her arm” I chuckled before my face went numb again

“Yet I couldn’t tell you the areas that someone wasn’t supposed to touch me, it scares me you know. Because I would’ve lived thinking it was a normal family thing if she hadn’t told me- what would that mean for Angie- would I have let him do that to her” I sat in my thoughts not knowing what to think. Everything hurt, at this very moment as reality sunk in.

“But you know now and you wouldn’t hesitate to do something if it ever did” Annie was bad at affection but she truly tried, “don’t beat yourself up over things that happened when you were a kid.”

my body was shaking so I had to calm down before talking. “Hitch told me to give him back his money and to come stay with her so that’s what I did. I left his money on the coffee table, packed my bag, with clothes and my own money and lived with Hitch for three days. We never told her mom, Hitch told me to because she would believe me but I couldn’t bring myself to open up to anybody. I only ended up telling three people, Hitch, my grandma and my mom and only one person cared, I told my grandma and she told me not to tell anyone else because he could’ve gotten into a lot of trouble and I told my mom a few months after she came back from rehab and she overdosed the next day and went back. So I figured no one would care and just left it alone. It caused me so much damage mentally I always feel disgusted with myself. For my birthday my dad ended up getting me an iPad, I got social media and ended up getting groomed a lot by different men because I felt like it’s what I deserved. I was extremely hyper sexual before drugs. And as ashamed as I am I still get these thoughts. It’s not really controllable” I sighed “do you mind if I move on?”

“Not at all” she handed me a tissue

“I met my stepmom a few months after and although she was introduced as a girlfriend, she and her two kids had already moved in. She was a bum. They would come back home drunk every night and I had to take care of her kids. It was obvious she taught violet nothing, she was the same age as me and couldn’t even make cereal. And when she was around she’d always just disgust me, she’d always do disgusting things to get a few laughs out of men and was just an attention seeker overall, I try not to judge her past too much though. She was 26 back then and I guess she’s kinda better- well trying to raise her kids at least. Angie actually thinks she’s really kind now, that says a lot.”

“I'm pretty sure you’re waiting for me to talk about what happened” I sigh. “Do you remember when I asked you to drop Angie off the other day for me and we talked?”

“And you stayed with me the whole week?”

“Yeah, that wasn’t actually because I got into a fight with my dad and stepmom. Well it was but in a different way.”

“What kinda way” Annie said with tension in her voice making me fear opening up to her. As soon as she noticed she tried to talk softer or just more like her usual self, “No secrets, remember?”

“R-right. So my dad tried to touch-“

“LAST MONTH” she interrupted me completely shocked, “I’m sorry continue”

“Well yeah, he startled me while I was doing the dishes and he was drunk and started saying shit, like that I was sleeping with so many guys yet he’d always be my first. But then Angie noticed so he stopped and left the house but I couldn’t stay there so I called you.”

“Is that what Abigail was talking about?”

“No she doesn’t know about that no one should” I looked down at my hands.

“So there’s more.” Annie scoffed, she was livid and it scared me. I felt a bit of anger directed towards me.

“A few days ago he tried to pull down my pants and spank me” tears hit my hands as I played with them. “That’s all I promise”

“Let’s go get your stuff” Annie quickly jumped on her feet.

“What?”

“You heard me. You’re not staying there. Now we can either go now or wait til he gets home so I can kill him. You pick y/n”

“But I have An-“

“Angie’s got someone looking out for her y/n you don’t! And you’re letting yourself stay in an environment that’s only hurting you! Not Angie, Not violet, YOU.” She yelled which startled me. She noticed but didn’t stop “How long are you gonna stay there? Until Angie decides she wants to leave? Are you gonna endure his touch for that long while everyone else in that house lives happy normal lives?” Annie started laughing when she realized that I wasn’t talking or going to,

“Give me a fucking break y/n you can’t be serious, you got violet laughing at you telling everyone just how much of daddies touch you’re getting at home, and it’s not that far away until her little friends tell the whole school and they make their own version of the situation hell it’s not like they’d be far from the truth. Angie’s bragging in your fucking face about how perfect your dad is, how thankful she is for having him and then there’s you, his princess-“

“Stop it Annie” my eyes were shaking uncontrollably as tears consumed my vision.

“What y/n” she wiped my tears and looked me dead in my face, “you don’t like being his princess? The thing he thinks about every night,” she let out a cruel chuckle, “well if you stay long enough you might get to be his queen” That was it her words broke me. It was like I was a kid again talking to my mother and my little heart couldn’t understand why she was being so cruel, she grabbed her keys.

“Fine stay here, I’ll just go get your shit for you”

I tried to compose myself but couldn’t I sat on that bed and cried like a damn child until Annie eventually did come back with all my shit.

I hadn’t realized just how late it had gotten until Reiner texted me asking me when I’d be there, that’s when I looked at the clock and it said 8:00pm

I was 30 minutes late and in no shape to go so I did what anyone would and lied about being sick, I told Annie not to worry about going and seeing my state she didn’t push me, it’s not like she wanted me to go on a date with Reiner out of all people anyways.

She didn’t like me looking my garbage so she forced me to bathe, “If you don’t go shower right now I’ll push you in the tub and bathe you myself”

“Is that a threat” I smiled and she chased me to the bathroom where I looked the door and took my shower.

It was 9pm and I was sitting in bed eating dinner and watching Hulu, I got a text but I quickly swiped it away and continued to watch my show assuming it was one of those spam messages,

After the episode finished and I was done eating I closed Hulu and just began to scroll through my phone. I was thinking about texting Annie but I also just wanted to avoid her for now since thinking back to my scene earlier today I was embarrassed as hell.

I scrolled through my notifications and noticed the text message once again,

‘Hey y/n, this is Reiner.’

I looked at the message sent almost half an hour ago and was shocked, confused and curious.

I decided to send a text back,

‘Hi?’

He almost immediately replied.

‘So I was wondering if you’d go bowling with me?’

Before I even finished reading he texted me again,

‘Bert’s going to be there and you can bring Annie or anyone you want!’

I could literally sense the awkwardness through the screen. I sigh swiping out of the text message, I was debating whether I should call Annie and ask her to come after everything that happened I wasn’t sure though but if I couldn’t get Annie to come with me then I definitely wasn’t gonna go. It’s not like I thought Reiner was a bad guy but going out with a man alone, not to mention he was clearly interested in me was a no.

I decided to put my pride aside and ask Annie because I hated leaving people on read so I wanted to give Reiner a direct answer,

‘Bowling?’ Was all I texted to her,

‘When?’ She replied making we swipe out of the text and text Reiner

‘When?’ I texted

‘Saturday night! Like 7-8?’ He replied and I sighed going to text Annie,

‘7:30 Saturday’ I texted annie

‘Am I your ride?’ She asked me

‘Potentially’ I texted

‘Okay whatever let me know’ she texted

I texted Reiner back ‘yes’

‘See you tomorrow!’ He texted and I just went to sleep after that

-

I woke up to a text from Annie,

‘Can we talk,seriously’

When I saw the text I kinda got scared. I really didn’t want to but after everything she’s done for me I felt like I owed her.

‘Okay.’ I replied.

‘I’m on the way’ she texted back only a few seconds later. My anxiety started to build up.

I got out of bed and brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on clothes since my pjs had holes in them from being too old. “I really need to buy new clothes” I said to myself looking at the huge holes in my shirt.

‘I’m outside’ Annie texted

I headed outside to her and got in her car. She waited until I fully got in to drive. “We can talk at my house, my dads not home” we pull up in her driveway and Annie gets out of the car quickly, I take a deep breath before getting out of the car.

Annie’s already waiting on me with her front door opened, I mentally was not ready for any of this but I stepped inside anyways. “Are we going to your room?” she nodded and I headed to her room as she locked the door. It didn’t take her long to get to the room, “so what did you want to talk about?” I was extremely nervous and hated the silence.

“I want you to tell me everything, y/n. I’m tired of having to hear about your life from everyone else”

“I know and I’m sorry” I wanted to put my head down, to curl up into a ball and weep, to literally just run out of the room and come back with a different personality, one suitable for confrontation. But I couldn't. I knew I had to talk to Annie and be genuine.

“So tell me” she demanded impatiently

I sighed

“Y/n I thought we were meeting after school, you miss me already?” Eren said trying to be funny but with the way you were breaking down you couldn’t even care,

“What’s wrong with her?” He asked Connie and Sasha but they both said they didn’t know.

He took a single look at you and sighed, “as much as I want to make fun of you I also want to smoke and don’t really want you in my presence” he grabbed your hand and pulled you up, “Let’s go”

He wasn’t being rough but when you tried to pull your hand away his grip tightened, “don’t we have P.E right now?” He asked looking at you and you nodded,

You figured he would take you to the field and stop there but no he began to look for something….someone.

And when he heard a loud commotion and saw a crowd he knew just where to find them,

Just as he thought, when he went to go look at what the rest of the crowd was looking at he saw just the girl he was looking for, Annie. She was cursing the girls who had tried to pick on you out and she was definitely going to get physical but Reiner and bertholdt were in the middle trying to diffuse the situation for whatever reason,

“I guess that’s why I beat them to the smoke session” Eren whispered to himself,

He still was holding your hand and you were too focused on the fight to pull away, you wanted to run and help Annie but you were embarrassed,

“What if she said something about my home life to all these people for trying to get in it?” You thought to yourself, you unconsciously let out a whining noise grabbing Erens attention,

“What started all this?” He asked you

“I-I-me” you looked at the ground embarrassed. You were the problem. You were getting Annie in trouble constantly and everyone knew it especially Annie but she wouldn’t let you be alone.

“What the hell did you do to make Annie wanna do more than say a few harsh words to someone? She looks like she’s ready to go all out,”

Soon you seen Sasha and Connie come running to the field. You guessed it was because their entire friend group didn’t show up because they were all outside watching Annie.

Your stomach rumbled due to anxiety and you tried to run away but Eren noticed and grabbed you, “fix this. If P.E ends and I don’t get to have a weed session your life is going to be hell” Eren said pushing me into the crowd,

“The way it already is” you said to yourself making your way to Annie,

when you got close to Annie you tried to form a sentence, “I um well, it’s okay” you got shy and everyone basically shut up, “yeah okay, it’s okay” was all you could say, and everyone looked at you wondering were you out of your mind

Abigail took it upon herself to make a snarky remark again, “don’t get involved y/n I don’t want you to get in trouble at home” she said loud enough for most people to hear her, and laughed. At this point Annie saw red and started yelling once again, you could tell bertholdt was nervous because he was sweating and he knew he couldn’t hold Annie for much longer,

You wanted to backup in a corner but you knew Eren would make life worse than it already was if you did so you opted to try and talk things out although all of what you said was mumbled because you had too much anxiety to talk clearly,

“Annie please don’t fight it’s not worth it” you mumbled, “she’s a bad person. They all are. We can just go home now and spend the weekend together. Listen to music on the way maybe? Maybe we can just run away and go to a different school that would be nice, I hope she didn’t say anything to you. If she did I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I was embarrassed. I hate home. I don’t want to go there. Let's go to your house and talk this out, or we can talk about something else if that’s what you prefer, I know that’s what I prefer. Please stop” you were mumbling to the point you sounded like a mouse and no one could understand you, you were mixing unconscious and conscious thoughts together and weren’t making any sense and tears rolled down your cheeks, “I wish someone else was doing this, this is so embarrassing” you chuckled to yourself you knew you had already embarrassed yourself, All eyes were on you and you mumbled your ass off, what was the harm in laughing?

Just then it started to rain and everyone ran inside except for you and Annie but you couldn’t even look at Annie. You began to walk near a bench and sat down with your knees to your chest and cried, “I’m sorry” you cried you couldn’t help but shake, maybe you were cold? Maybe you were just tired, tired from barely getting sleep? Tired of living? Probably both,

“Don’t b-“ she started to talk but you interrupted her,

“I’m so fucking tired Annie, I don’t want this anymore I can’t I-“

Annie, who was standing right infront of you, kneeled down and put her forehead against yours, “don’t you dare say you can’t do this when we both know you can. It's September, wait until July to give up on me at least. Let’s make it through high school okay?”

You only cried harder. You weren’t capable of making such a statement nor a promise like that you begin to get up and walk away,

You couldn’t take such a pain,

You got humiliated every day but the fact the whole school would probably know about your home situation destroyed you.

You didn’t know where you were going but you didn’t care, you walked out of your schools gates and kept walking,

You believed school was better than home but after today you weren’t sure. You just knew Abigail would spread rumors around and that made you nauseous, you found a trash can and threw up

You began crying and you just wanted everything to stop. You wanted everyone to stop hurting you.

As you were walking, you lost track of time and the rain had long stopped but you didn’t even realize until you saw a text from someone,

Unknown: I left school early. Can you come to my house for the project now? I have something to do later,

It clicked to me fast who this was so I replied and then went to save his contact since this was the first time he texted me after I gave him my number 2 weeks ago.

Y/n: sure send me the address.

He sent it to me and I begin to make my way home to change into dry clothes since my dad wouldn’t be home,

After I took a shower and changed I got another text from Eren,

Eren: you’re taking forever, do you want me to come get you?

I sighed at him rushing me but I knew I would be long and didn’t tell him so I couldn’t be upset, and also my moms car had also broken down on me so I knew I would have to walk which would take even longer, so I decided to take him up on his offer and just sent him my address

A few minutes later he showed up and I got in the car,

It was still raining a bit but not too much, “we aren’t going to my house” he randomly blurted. “I changed my mind. I think it would be beneficial for the assignment if we stopped the planned meet ups since all we ever do is stare at each other. Instead we should just do things we each like doing and maybe we’ll learn a bit more about one another?” He said actually making sense,

“That’s a really good idea” I said shifting in my seat, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable being in such a closed space alone with him right now, “so where are we going?”

“Just the park to smoke with my friends and some randoms” . His plans didn’t really sit well with me after what happened today. I didn't want to be around people and it was obvious that I was uncomfortable, my face said it all.

He looked over to me and scoffed, “Listen I don’t want to hang out with you either but my friends wanted to hangout now and because I actually care about my grades I was able to put together a pretty good solution on how to compromise.”

“C-can you please just take me home? I can’t do this right now we can just reschedule” my voice started cracking and that seemed to only annoy him,

“We are already here” he parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt

-

When we met up with his group I was at least relieved to see Armin, He gave me a smile as we waited for everyone else,

I also saw Historia and she sent me a look of disgust but it didn’t bother me since that’s all she ever did,

Connie pulled up in his car with Sasha, Jean and Marco.

I quickly went next to Armin hoping I could just stay beside him the whole time since I wouldn’t have to worry about being uncomfortable,

I noticed Connie and Sasha looking at me as they got out the car and I got a bit nervous because of the way they seen me earlier but they didn’t bring it up and neither did I,

“Did Eren make you come?” Armin suddenly asked me and I nodded, “I told him not to. After today I didn’t think you had enough social battery to be around people” he said concerned,

“You’re really good at reading people, Armin” I sent him a tiny smile.

“Y’all are so cute. I’m kinda shipping this” Eren came over to us with a blunt in his hand. He lit it in front of us and took a hit. “You want some?” He looked at me and I shook my head telling him I didn’t,

Armin and I were used to him saying stuff like this and lately I’ve been training myself not to be such a crybaby over small remarks like that.

Historia walked over to us to be with Eren and I could tell she was going to say something rude, “what are yall talking about?” She asked Eren glaring at me,

“I was just saying how I ship y/n and Armin aren’t they cute” he took another hit,

“Well I think Armin could’ve done better” she said looking me up and down making me self conscious,

“I said the same but it’ll grown on you” Eren chuckled,

Armin noticed I was letting Historia get to me and held my hand rubbing it gently. Not even caring that he was only adding to the dating allegations, “do you want to go sit on the swings?” Armin asked me and I nodded. We walked over to them and sat down.

“I’m sorry for touching your hand. It’s just I noticed that you were getting overwhelmed and that’s what Annie does for you,” he said smiling at me,

I smiled back, “how do you know that?”

“I see her do it all the time when someone says something negative to you, although I think it’s more for her to calm herself down I noticed it helped you as well”

“Wow, Armin. I never met someone who was so aware” you chuckled.

“Thanks y/n. You can let me know when you want to leave. I can walk you home!”

“Thank you! But I’ll just go home with Eren, I’m here to observe his behavior after all!”

Suddenly a ball hit Armin in the face knocking him off the swing, “ARMINN”

Reiner walked over and helped me help him up, “sorry man”

“It’s okay” Armin rubbed his nose and eye,

I didn’t know Eren was behind me until I heard laughter, “Reiner, how did your dumbass manage to get the ball near Armin if you were supposed to be throwing the opposite direction? I bet you were trying to impress y/n”

Reiner looked embarrassed and I was a bit mad, “don’t hurt your friend trying to impress me. Come on Armin let’s walk to the store and get you a cold water bottle” I said taking Armins hand that wasn’t on his face and walking off,

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Reiner whispered in defeat as he set on the swing, “why doesn’t she like me Eren?” Eren sat next to him in the other swing, “well let’s see, you’re friends with me, you’re way too horny and way too cocky. A girl like y/n doesn’t want to hear that her ass looks good 24/7 because she’ll end up thinking that’s all you care about, maybe if you gave her a genuine compliment that had something to do with the neck and up or just her personality she’d like you more,

“Wow” Reiner looked up from the ground and looked at Eren, “That advice was actually good, where did you get that from?”

“It’s some shit zeke told me that I’ll never use, he likes those types of girls, so it should work for you,”

“Thanks, I’ll use it,”

-

Heyy I know I’m not good at updating but I missed y’all, yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of finding Attack on titan, I like that it’s a direct month after my bday, the exact day as Getos birthday and an exact week from falco and Mikasa’s ❤️ anyways I love y’all byee

High standards | Nanami x reader

Tw: smut

The next morning, I awoke bright and early to prepare for my interview.

I'm not sure how I managed to sleep with my mind racing the way it is. But nevertheless I got up and got ready without feeling tired or anything.

When I was done getting ready and was about to walk out the door I noticed a little note on the kitchen counter.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t wish you luck on your interview :( but I will be here to listen to how it went when you get back :) anyways I made you toast which is under this note as you probably already have seen, I know it’s not much but I will be glad to know that you at least ate something. Goodluck on your interview. From Sasha and Connie. (Connie made me write his name)”

Just like she said there was a plate of toast right under the note she left me.

I couldn’t help but smile.

Despite the fact that I was tricked into purchasing this apartment, I scored big with my roommate. I felt so fortunate to have such a sweet and kind soul as my roommate, and she was even generous enough to share her amazing friend with me.

I sighed, picked up the toast and started to make my way outside.

When I got outside I noticed it was really dark. I shrugged it off though thinking it was just because it was still fairly early and besides the weather said nothing about it raining.

I gathered my belongings and made my way to the bus stop, where I waited.

When I got on the bus it was very empty. It was only me and some old man but he was sleeping. So I took my seat in the front.

I knew that I was going to be on the bus for a long time because Design Den was on the other side of Paradis.

I had been on the bus for about fifteen minutes and had about twenty more to go. I was bored, and the old man behind me was snoring loudly. Every time he snored, it sounded like a farm, which was a little annoying, but I shrugged it off.

I had nothing to do and no one to talk to so time was going by very slowly.

I stared out the window looking at all the beautiful buildings. They were so pretty at this hour I couldn’t help but love the view.

I guess I ended up getting lost in the city light’s because when I went to check the time again I had only five minutes till my stop came up. I noticed the old man was still on the bus and I felt worried. Maybe he had missed his stop, I wanted to say something but I was too nervous.

I decided that I would wake him up when my stop came since it was the next one up.

Soon enough it was my stop and like I said I would, I walked to the old man to wake him up. I shook his shoulder, “sir” I said and the man awakened suddenly like I had almost given him a heart attack. I smiled at him because I felt bad, “i'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you its just that we've passed by stops and I didnt want you to miss yours”

He returned my smile. “Oh thank you” he looked to the window, “this is exactly my stop” he got up and gave me one more thank you before walking to the exit as I did too.

At the exit there was a girl impatiently waiting for him, “ Mr. Pixis we are behind schedule because you decided to take the bus instead of letting me drive you” she said in an angry tone.

“What can I say, I'm a man who loves to view the city” the old man chuckled.

“No you’re an old man with a drinking problem who falls asleep everywhere he goes” she sighed, “come on it’s about to rain and we need to be heading to the office” with that they walked away to their car.

Rain? I thought to myself, it didn’t even look like it was about to rain. Yes the sky was dark but it wasn't cloudy or anything. How could she tell?

I looked at the sky to make sure I wasn’t crazy but like I said there was no signs of rainfall anywhere. Just as I stopped looking at the sky I heard thunder.

“What the hell?” I said to myself, just then it started to pour.

I began to run. Actually everyone did. I don’t know how that girl knew it was about to rain but everyone else surely didn’t. There were people running everywhere.

I had my papers in my hand holding on to them for dear life because people were just bumping into me.

I didn’t have an umbrella and it was getting really hard to see through the rain. “Dammit” I said as I tried to make my way to my destination.

Just then someone bumped into me and made me fall to the ground. My papers scattered everywhere. I hurried to pick them up but it was too late, they were soaked and some of my designs were smudged.

I looked up to see who did this but I couldn’t see that much. All I saw was a man in a suit, he was on the phone and his back was turnt as he continued walking. The only feature I could see of his was his hair which was just long brown hair in a ponytail with a green hair tie around it.

I cursed him under my breath and then got back to picking up my papers. I picked them up and realized that almost every single one was smudged. I sighed and hoped for the best.

-

I managed to get a taxi and made my way to the designing studio. I was soaked, my papers were soaked, and I’m pretty sure I looked crazy but I couldn’t miss this.

“Worst case scenario I have my phone and could show pictures of my work.” I said standing in front of the studio. Then I thought about it, “ Wait where is my phone?” I began to panic. But then again I had no time to panic because I was supposed to be at my interview in two minutes according to my watch.

I made it inside the office and to the front desk. “ Hi I’m here for an interview” I smiled at the lady behind the desk.

She looked me up and down with a faint look of disgust on her face, “are you sure you have the right place?”

“This is Design Den studios, is it not?”

“What's your name?” she rolled her eyes.

“y/n l/n” I smiled.

‘Go wait over there, you'll be interviewed in a moment.

I did as said and waited to be interviewed and after a while someone did come to me and lead me to the interview room,

-

Let me just say, in short the interview was a disaster.

I left more embarrassed then I had ever been in my life, I felt like a complete failure,

(short flashback)

“Y/n L/n show us what you have,

“Okay so these are my designs” I reached for my papers only to realize they had been soaked with water and ripped up, “I’m sorry they are a bit messed up”

“That’s fine, do you have any pictures?” The woman out of the three people interviewing me asked,

“Yes! Matter of fact I do, they are right here in my pho-“ I paused mid sentence after reaching for my phone and realizing it wasn’t there,

“ So Ms.L/n you have nothing to show us?” A man asked,

“Sir I’m sorry it’s just the rain was crazy and people were basically walking all over me, my phone was with me now it’s not and my whole day has been a nightma-“

It was another man who cut me off, “save it young lady. This interview is over, if you want to apply again you’ll have to get in line with everyone else, with that being said you can leave,”

I walked out the room in shame.

-

Now I’m sitting on the couch crying to Sasha about my day,

“It’ll be okay y/n you’ll find a job!” She rubbed my back,

“But that was my dream Sasha.” I sobbed,

“I mean just reapply and do things differently than before and I’m sure you’ll get it again, how long did it take them to reach out to you last time?”

“I applied three years ago,” I sniffled.

Sasha made a long “oh” sound which only made me cry more, “well it’s not your fault y/n it’s that ponytail wearing pricks fault, if I catch him he’s dead meat”

“Thank you sasha” I wiped my tears,

“And if it makes you feel better, my friend is coming over to fix the whole in the wall tomorrow“ she smiled,

“That makes me feel a bit better actually, thank you.” I stood up and made my way to the shower,

After showering and crying a few more times I made my way to bed, cried myself to sleep and said bye to this horrible day.

3 weeks later

It’s been about a month since school started and everyone has eased into it,

Furlan had started school and had settled in pretty easily as well which I was happy for, I was also happy he didn’t switch up on me just because he had friends.

Me and furlan had gotten really close after our hangout, he took me to this place where we could see the sky clearly and he talked to me until the sunrise and then took me home I still don’t know what it’s called and we haven’t been back since but while there we got really personal and a few tears were shared,

I'm pretty sure it was only on my side but then again furlan kept rubbing his eyes as we talked.

While we were on the way home he told me he really didn’t want to take me back so he stopped in an empty parking lot and we just sat there holding each other, it wasn’t in a romantic way he just wanted me to know he was there for me and I wanted to let him know the same.

He came over the next day and took Angie and me to the park and got Angie ice cream,

Angie kept going on and on to my dad about how I had the sweetest boyfriend which caused problems but I dealt with them and moved on my dad however did not,

He continued to say nasty things to me and comment on my body, and almost every time he got drunk he would bring up how I was letting everyone touch me it was one incident where things got physical in front of Angie because he tried to bring things that made me uncomfortable up

-

I was standing in the kitchen washing dishes when he came behind me and started grinding on me,

I instantly tried to move but he wouldn’t let me,

“Please stop” I tried to whisper because Angie was in the kitchen,

He started to kiss my neck and placed his hand on my hips, “you know no matter how many guys you sleep with I’ll always be your first” he said his words were sloppy and he reeked of alcohol,

I began to scratch him and he pulled my hair, and slapped me. Then he proceeded to walk out of the kitchen leaving Angie staring at me while tears formed in my eyes,

“What’s wrong?” she kept asking, “what did he say y/n?”

“Nothing, please just finish scraping the dishes” I tried to hold back sobs.

“No I think you should-“ I interrupted her

“ANGIE” she quickly got back to doing what she was doing when I yelled at her and I went into the backyard to take a 30 second breather,

When I got back my dad was gone, he had drove somewhere and honestly I was relieved.

I was used to him trying to get behind me but he had never brought up that time, it hurt me to my core the fact I knew he was aware. For years he acted like he didn’t know what had happened and I never tried to make him know either but he was aware, so he couldn’t have been as drunk as I thought he was that night.

I wanted to call hitch but I couldn’t so I called Annie and as soon as she heard my sobs she was on her way, she dropped Angie off at her friends house because I was supposed to after doing dishes and she took me to her house we talked. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what happened so I lied and said I was overstimulated,

She didn’t believe me but didn’t push further so we left it at that, I stayed at her house for a week up until my dad came to her home and got me,

I wish I could say that was the last time he had tried to do things with me this month but it wasn’t,

3 days ago when I got home from school he told me he had gotten a call from my stepmom that I was being disrespectful to her while she was taking me to school which honestly I was, she was making me late because she wouldn’t wake up and Annie had a doctors appointment so she couldn’t take me, I had to take a test first period and if I got there after it started I would have to wait until Friday to take it, it was Tuesday and I didn’t want to do that so I kept rushing her and calling her slow under my breath.

My dad said because I was being disrespectful he was going to whoop me which at first I was just expecting him to just start hitting me with his belt that is until he tried to push me down and hit my ass with the belt I tried to push him off of me and run but my stepmom was there and helping him, he began to take his belt and strike my but, I begin to yell because he was striking me extremely hard after a minute or so he put down the belt, pulled down my pants and started hitting me with his bare hand, my stepmom even realized and yelled at him to stop and that I had enough, he stopped and I pulled up my pants and went to my room where I lightly sobbed, I heard my stepmom arguing with him about it which surprised me a lot since this was the first time in my life she ever stood up for me,

“What were you thinking?” She yelled,

“I was teaching her a lesson”

“Oh really? You looked like you were enjoying the sight in front of you,” she scoffed at him,

“What does that mean? I did this for you bitch”

“There was absolutely no reason to pull down her pants and hit her with your bare hands. You know exactly what I mean,” she sounded disgusted and that made me happy, maybe she wasn’t so bad?

“If you ever lay a finger on my daughters like that you wouldn’t be standing in front of me right now” I heard my dad groan and then the door slammed,

“What the fuck” I heard my step mom say to herself, so I guess my dad was the one to leave.

-

After that my stepmom and dad had been getting into a lot of fights, she didn't even want to let violet or Angie near my dad. She really doesn’t care about me. I think she just realized that my dad is disgusting and doesn’t want anything to happen to her daughters. Which in all honesty I don’t mind, I’ve never in my life had someone look out for me when it came to my dad but the fact she was not going to let anything happen to Angie, I had a lot of respect for her and it took a bit of weight off my shoulders. She signed Angie up for an after school program so that she could pick her up after school and wouldn’t have to worry about her being around my dad while she wasn’t around, and for violet, she was never really home from the get go so her mom didn’t have to worry much.

If I was her I would’ve just gotten a divorce by now but I heard her on the phone saying she still loved him and that he’s never harmed her kids and doesn’t think he will so I guess that answers why they are still together,

My dad blamed me but I could care less he decided to do some fucked up shit to me and now his family was torn apart, how was that on me?

-

Right now I’m sitting in gym waiting for shadis to tell us what we are doing, me and Annie were standing next to each other just minding our own business when Hitch’s friend Abigail came over to us, “hey y/n” she said with fake enthusiasm,

I just looked at her, I could see her friend group a few feet away from us giggling so undoubtedly she was over here as a joke, “what do you want?” Annie said annoyed.

“I just wanted to know if y/n was okay, I know that what happened a few days ago probably affected you” she said with the fakest tone

I was so confused until it hit me and then I looked over at violet, what the hell is wrong with these people do they have no idea what empathy is?

I could feel tears form in my eyes while Annie was confused, “I need to go to the bathroom” I said running to the nearest outside bathroom, I noticed it was locked and decided to knock.

Out came Connie and a bunch a smoke, “Saha what took-“ he looked down and realized it was me but he also realized I was crying and pulled me into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” He said only a bit concerned.

Although we’ve gone to school together our whole lives I was still basically a stranger to him, but being Eren's friends he put a few pieces together, “did Eren say something” he put a finger on my chin and lifted it up making me look at him, and I shook my head,

“I-I” I couldn’t talk

Someone knocked on the door and Connie answered it hopping it was Sasha because she was a girl and probably knew how to handle sensitive situations better than him,

“Sasha come in” he said with urgency,

“Did you save-“ Sasha stopped herself when she saw you sitting on the floor crying.

“Is that y/n?” She said confused,

“Yeah she was crying and needed somewhere private” Connie said,

“Why was she crying?”

“I don’t know she hasn’t calmed down enough to talk” Connie looked at Sasha then mouthed to her, “help her”

And Sasha mouthed back, “How”

He was genuinely confused on what to do and Eren would be in here soon so he knew he had to get her gone before-

This is Eren's pov after the park chapter!

ERENS POV

I walked into my house, it was cold and empty.

Per usual.

Zeke had left for work and my parents were at work like always. I ran to my room to put my stuff down and went back downstairs to wait for Armin.

After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and sure enough it was the blonde he was waiting for, the two locked Erens front door and headed out.

“So how was studying with y/n, did she show up?” Armin asked while the two of us walked to Mikasa's house.

“Yeah” I said, not paying him any mind and just scrolling on my phone.

“You didn’t give her a hard time did you?” Armin laughed while scratching the back of his head.

“Why would you think that?” I looked up from my phone and stared at him.

Armin just blinked at me, “well you know you aren’t exactly easy for her to deal with” he said trying to put it to me nicely,

In all honesty I knew exactly what he meant. I just liked seeing him all worked up. I smirked, “I don’t think I did” I said knowing that those words to Armin meant I most definitely did.

Armin shook his head and sighed, knocking on Mikasa’s door. “Why do you have to be like that?” He asked in disappointment,

Just then Mikasa opened the door and Armin walked in, “like what?” I said teasing him while walking in Mikasa’s house right behind him.

Mikasa closed the door and we all made it upstairs to her room,

-

“Why are you like that?” I was laying on Mikasa’s bed reading some boring book for English class when Armin asked,

“Like what?” I closed my book because I was bored of it and this topic might interest me a bit more.

“How you treat y/n? She does nothing to you and you are so mean Eren” Armin said meeting my eyes from on the ground,

I laughed, “I really don’t know it’s just fun for me.” I shrugged. “Why are you always worried about y/n anyways? Do you like her or something?” I asked knowing I was just going to make Armin upset

“Do you?” Armin asked. His voice was filled with sass.

I chuckled, “and why would you think that?”

“Because YOU are the one that’s always bothering her. You can’t go a day without bothering her”

“You guys let’s focus on-“ I cut Mikasa off,

“Yet you’re the one checking on her constantly, you’re the one who has to be nice to her and has to make sure she’s okay every time she throws a bitch fit. So Armin tell me who’s really the one with the crush?” I said standing up,

Armin just scoffed, he knew that there was no use arguing with me, because he would be arguing with someone who was wrong and knew he was wrong but liked seeing people upset.

I knew for a fact Armin liked Annie. He had liked her ever since second grade when he got scared on a field trip and peed himself and she gave him spare pants. But seeing him get so worked up over the subject made me want to laugh.

“I’m gonna go downstairs for water, y’all want anything?” I asked.

Armin didn’t say a word and Mikasa asked me to get her a water,

When I got downstairs I let all my laughs out, I didn’t even know I had been keeping them in but as the moment upstairs replayed in my head I couldn’t help it.

I got a snack with two glasses of water and headed back upstairs.

-

We stopped studying about 20 minutes ago, Armin left about 5 and I had to stay to hear a lecture from Mikasa. Usually Armin would stay with me through these but I guess today I made him extra mad and he decided to just leave me,

“If Armin does actually like her, which we both know he doesn’t, then why be a piece of shit to her?” Mikasa asked.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged.

“You never fucking do, that’s your problem Eren. One day Armin isn’t going to take your bullshit anymore, I told you a million times to stop messing with people, it bothers him.” Mikasa sighed, “you most likely aren’t taking me serious right now anyways just go before it gets too late”

She was right, messing with people who gave me a response was a habit for me.

-

When I made my way outside I was surprised to see Armin waiting for me, “hey I thought you left” I said but he just started walking away.

“You still mad?” I said catching up to him but still I got no response.

After a few minutes of silence I decided to break it, “I’m sorry”

“For” Armin spoke.

“So now you can speak?”

Armin scoffed, “you know what? Actually no I won’t be speaking to you until you can form a decent apology.” He started walking faster but this time I didn’t bother catching up.

I actually started slowing down so I could just walk alone, I didn’t even feel like going home right now, and soon enough I had lost Armin in the distance of our walk.

When I finally returned home I saw Armin waiting outside for me, which made me laugh. Even when he was mad he still had to make sure I got home safely.

He rolled his eyes and walked away to his home that was a couple blocks away. When I seen him get inside his home I went inside mine.

I was met with my family spread out everywhere and eating. Zeke was sitting in the living room, my mom was standing in the kitchen and my dad was sitting at the table.

Zeke was the first person to notice me, “where have you been?” He asked me.

“Minding my business ugly” I said walking away to my room but before I could go to my room I heard my mom say ,

”don’t you want to eat with us?” To which I ignored and closed my room door behind me.

I never felt like eating at home, maybe it was all the weed I smoked or simply because I hated this place.

I grabbed clothes and went to take a shower,

When I got out the shower and went back to my room my dad was there sitting on my bed,

I sucked my teeth,

“Hi son” he patted my bed indicating for me to sit next to him but I chose to stand with my arms crossed, “you can stand if you want” he chuckled. “Listen, it’s around that time,” he cleared his throat.

“What time?” I asked ready for him to leave,

“Well you know uh,” he began to dig in his pocket for something and then pulled out a condom, “so basically you use these to-“

“How old do you think I am?” I yelled,

“Old enough to know?” He rubbed his neck sensing I was only getting more angry,

“Zeke already taught this stuff to me maybe if you weren’t so obsessed with your job you could’ve done it yourself” I yelled,

He stood up with tired eyes and grumbled something while reaching in his pockets, he pulled out a hundred dollar bill and left it on my bed before leaving my room,

I heard my parents talking and I could hear my mom was mad, “I said a talk not the talk you fool” she said slamming something down.

“Well I’m sorry but either way it would’ve been a waste of time he doesn’t like talking to us”

“Why do you think? You’re always at work”

“SO ARE YOU” my dad yelled. “Why am I the only one to blame? I told you that you could’ve stayed home and I would take care of all the bills”

“If you would’ve let me finish my sentence and not cut me off I would’ve said that,” my mom scoffed. “And you know I have to be busy all the time I can’t afford to stay home”

“With the son we have you would’ve been busy all the time”

“What is that supposed to mean” I mumbled to myself but then started listening to the conversation again.

“Great so I’m expected to just give up on what I love and stay home to make it easier for you huh?” My mom yelled.

“Did you listen to anything I said? Who am I kidding of course you didn’t because it’s all about you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Carla I already had a kid and I got to see first hand what it took to raise them, kids need parents, love and support I knew that and I told you that before we had him but you insisted that you wanted to be a mom and me being the idiot I am i allowed you to”

“But I wasn’t busy at the time” I heard my mom’s voice cracking, “I didn’t know I wouldn’t have- Grisha, where are you going?” I heard footsteps and I assumed it was my dad walking away but then my bedroom door opened.

it was zeke, “hello” he sat at my desk.

“What do you want?” I rolled my eyes.

“For you to stop being sassy, for your teachers to stop calling me, for you to clean your room like I asked you to multiple times, for you to stop-“

“I get it” I said sitting on my bed losing the ‘sas’ (as zeke liked to call it)

“How was your day?” He said relaxing in my chair,

“Okay I guess. It was nothing special about it”

“Everyday you wake up is special Eren,” he said, taking a cig out of his pocket and opening my window. “Take the money Eren” he suddenly said

“No, it’ll be on the counter tomorrow.” I said

“Why do you have to be so stubborn? If someone gave me a hundred dollars at your age I would gladly go spend it with my friends or buy new shoes or some shit”

“I don’t want money from them and besides my big brothers got me.” I said knowing it wouldn’t do much to faze zeke.

“You’re right I do but I’m also struggling. I don’t have much right now” zeke leaned his head back exhaling smoke.

“So you take it” I handed it to him.

“Why to use it on you later?”

“Exactly,”

Zeke chuckled and got up, “I’m glad you’re doing okay.” He opened the door, “oh and Eren-“

“Yes”

“Please stop fucking over my bosses daughter, if you keep making her cry every week I won’t have a job” he said in reference of Historia.

“She won’t leave me alone man”

“Whatever” with that he threw a small roll of paper at me and closed the door.

I realized that it was the money. I sighed and put the money in my dresser drawer before turning off my light and getting in bed, I didn’t go to sleep right away though, it was actually a routine for me to lay in the dark and think about things I had heard and said throughout the day until I just felt sleepy.

I began to think about Mikasa, Armin Historia and y/n but mainly y/n because almost every conversation I had today was about her.

The one with Armin,

The one with Mikasa,

and the one with Historia.

Earlier today

“Eren, do you want to go to the mall after school?” Historia asked me,

“No I have something to do,”

“What are you doing? Or should I be saying who?” She scoffed,

I rolled my eyes, this girl was by far the most annoying person in my life, “I’m going to the park with y/n for a class project”

Historias face changed, “why don’t you skip that and hang out with me” she said pulling her skirt up and touching my chest,

“I would but this is worth 60% of the class,” I lied. I really just didn’t want to do anything with her, I haven’t really wanted to do anything with her since I found holes in my condoms and I know she put them there because her friend sent me text messages of her saying it, when I confronted her she acted clueless which only made me think she was more crazy.

“Fuck, Mr.smith must be so annoying” she said kissing my neck,

“Yeah but I really need that class to pass so I don’t mind,” I said, trying to be more convincing.

“Is that the only reason you don’t mind?” Historia said,

Here she went again trying to start more problems, “what are you talking about?”

“Come on Eren” she scoffed, “you like the fact she’s in that class don’t you” she looked at me and I just sucked my teeth.

“What the fuck are you going on about?” I said looking at her in annoyance,

“Shut up and leave me alone” she said and walked away, I knew she expected me to run after her but I sure as hell didn’t,

She was obsessed with thinking I loved y/n, everyone was if I’m being honest but Historia was crazy about it, she’d let her friends put stuff in her head and run with it,

Which made her unbearable to be around,

-

Everyone wanted to know the reason I do what I do to y/n but if I’m being honest I don’t think I really know,

I mean it started when we were little, the first day we met actually.

When I saw how nice she was in class that day I hated it, I know it’s cruel but from that day on I tried to do anything to make her not smile because I thought it was unfair for her to smile all the time, there she was with a smile that never seemed to fade, positivity that never seemed to leave her body yet there I was with a smile that was non existent and an attitude that was never joyful nor happy, I hated my life and I just wish she could feel what I felt back then, every day I had to come home to nothing, no one, and I hated that someone could be so happy. I felt as though she had everything and as though I had nothing so I wanted to make her have nothing as well. But as time passed it just became a habit to mess with people who gave me a reaction it just made me feel like I was finally in control of something in my life.

-

THIRD PERSON POV

What Eren didn’t know is that you also had nothing. But when you started school you seen it as an escape from what was going on at home, everyday you went home to arguing, fighting and just pure violence. You would cry yourself to sleep with hands over your ears because of the screams you heard from behind your door. But going to school got you away from all of that, he didn’t realize once he took away school he took away every good thing you’ve ever had

I was woken up by my phone ringing, I was tired I didn’t even look at the screen I just answered hoping it was scam likely and I could go back to sleep, “Hello” I said yawning into the phone.

“Hey, y/n!” I heard Furlan,

“Oh um Furlan” I came to my senses very quickly.

“Are we still on tonight?”

“Tonight? What’s tonight?”

“We were going to hang out” he chuckled and I began to get embarrassed.

“Oh my we are!”

“Yeah, it’s okay if you don’t want to anymore though”

“No. I want to, my memory has just been hazy lately. I’m literally getting ready as we speak!” I said crawling over Angie and getting out of my bed.

“Great I’ll pick you up at 9pm” with that Furlan hung up.

“Shit what time is it?” I said to myself.

“It’s 7:50 pm” I heard Angie say, I turned around and she was up.

“I’m sorry did I wake you?”

“No, I've been playing roblox,” she said, turning her iPad towards me. “But you’re leaving?”

“Yes I’m going to hang out with a friend” I said searching in my closet for an outfit.

“Cool” Angie said, going back to playing her game. “Good luck sneaking past dad”

“Wait, he's home?” I said confused. My dad usually stayed at work until 11 on Fridays so that he could get all his tests graded by Monday.

“Yup. He came in here earlier and told me to tell you to stop talking back to my mom. Apparently she’s been ranting about your lack of help around the house.” Angie rolled her eyes, “ I told him that you did everything and that you deserved to rest, but he just told me to stop talking back”

I chuckled, “thanks for that Angie. But anyways, how the hell am I getting out of here?”

“Language. And I’ll pretend to be asleep and you can jump out the window.”

“That’s actually a good idea. You’re such a smart kid.” I patted her head and made my way to the bathroom.

I took a shower and did my skincare while in the bathroom.

I was going to do a bit of makeup and my hair but that had to wait until I got back into my room so no one would suspect anything.

When I got back into the room I went over to my vanity table and turned on its light. Then I went over to my closet to pick out an outfit.

That’s when I realized I had absolutely no idea what we were going to do so I couldn’t pick out an outfit.

I texted Furlan to ask what I should wear.

-

Y/n💕

What should I wear?

Furlan 💛

Anything. We’ll probably be running a lot though😅

Y/n💕

Running? 🥲

Furlan 💛

Yes but I could carry you the whole time if you’d like 😇

Y/n💕

What a simp 😭

-

With that I closed my phone and looked for an outfit. I settled on a pair of shorts and a tank top.

(Or you can wear what you want!)

I sat at my vanity and tried to decide on a ponytail. That way my hair wouldn’t be in my face while we did whatever running Furlan was talking about.

Then I moved on to my makeup, I didn’t do much just enough to not look tired like I always do.

As I’m putting on my lipgloss I hear the door creak open and when I look behind me it’s my dad coming into my room.

I freak out a bit but then go back to normal since I already have a lie in mind ready to spill from my lips if he asks me why I have a face of makeup and an outfit on at this late hour.

“Hi baby” he hugs me from behind.

I make a face in disgust but refrain myself from telling him to get the hell away from me because I know Angie isn’t actually sleeping. Instead I try to pry his hands off me,”hello”

“How have you been?” He sits on Angie’s bed looking at me.

I continued to get ready, “I’ve been just fine” I said not paying him any mind. I could tell he was drunk by the way he wobbled over to me, and the way he’s smiling at me while sitting on the bed. Not to mention he reeked of alcohol.

After what happened that night I was never comfortable around my dad while he was drunk or at all to be completely honest but when he was drunk It was worse. He would hit on me with no shame especially after I hit puberty and it absolutely disgusted me. I couldn't even be in the same room as him alone when he was drunk because I knew exactly what he would do if he got the chance.

Although I wasn’t showing it I was shaking right now.

“Look how much you’ve grown.” He said looking me up and down, “ you know you remind me of your mother when I first met her so much.”

“You first met mom in a party bathroom doing illegal substances, how is that a compliment?” I tried to not say too much because I knew Angie had to hear all of this but still he was making me angry and I was about to blow.”

He laughed, “I meant how she looked. She might have been an addict but she was still sexy”

“Get out.” I instantly snapped. I didn’t want to hear any of this.

“How about we do something tonight,” he got up and stood over me which made me even more uncomfortable.

I stood up and repeated myself, “get out”

He chuckled and surprisingly walked to the door, “you’re a teenager now so I guess that means you don’t want to spend time with your old man huh?” He said slurring his words.

I rolled my eyes and as soon as he closed the door I locked it behind him and scoffed.

“You really don’t like your dad huh?” Angie said from next to me.

“I really don’t understand how you do.” I replied.

“He’s very nice y/n. You should give him a chance. He just tried to give you a compliment” Angie sat up in bed looking at me.

“That wasn’t the type of compliment you think it was,”

“How come? My mom calls violet sexy all the time and violet reacts to it like any other compliment.”

“Well, when your mom says it she doesn’t have any other intent behind it.”

“Intent?” Angie asked confused,

I chuckled, “I’ll explain to you when you’re older.”

“But I’m almost 13. Why can’t you tell me now? I really would like to know” Angie pouted.

“I still think you’re a bit young.”

Angie sighed, “well will you at least tell me why you hate him?”

“When you’re older.”

Angie scoffed and rolled back into bed going on about how I never tell her anything.

I got up from my seat and sat on the bed next to her, “I promise that you will know someday. But for right now I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell you,” you patted her head and got back up, “how do I look Ang?”

She looked up at me, “okay” she said uninterested

“That’s it?” I smiled,

“I mean for a girl who’s going to sneak out, yeah.” Angie shrugged,

You started to tickle her to make her less mad with you, “don’t be mad at me please”

“I’m not” she laughed,

“Liar” I tickled her some more,

“I’m not.” She continued to laugh,

“It’s not good to lie y'know” I laughed myself and stopped tickling her, “I love you Angie”

“I love you too y/n” we hugged and I open the window and climbed out.

“Call me if you need me, or ring violet.”

“Why would I call her?” Angie said in confusion,

“Believe it or not even though she tried to act mean in front of her friends, she loves you more than anything,” you said before closing the window and making your way to your front yard we’re Furlan was waiting.

I was awakened by the sound of an alarm. I rolled around in bed and groaned. “I don’t wanna get up yet”

“Good thing the alarms for me and not you,” I heard someone say.

I sat up in bed and that’s when I realized I wasn’t even in my own bed. I looked around the room and noticed Levi in the corner looking through his dresser and that’s when I realized I was in his room. “Levi? What are you doing here? Wait, actually what am I doing here?” I quickly got out of his bed and began to feel dizzy because I got up extremely fast.

“Well little shit, you knocked on the door crying and then fell on my doorstep. I tried to wake you but you didn’t wake up, you were still breathing so I figured I would just let you rest” Levi said walking past me into the hall and making his way to his bathroom.

I felt a bit embarrassed because of what he had told me. Did I really come to his house crying like a child because I was having a hard time with my life? I sighed, not wanting to think about it, “Thank you Levi.”

“No problem, there’s a change of clothes on my nightstand if you want to go back to sleep, I’m about to head out for work so I won’t be keeping you company.”

I looked at the time and it was already 1:30pm and I was supposed to be meeting Eren at 2:00pm so I didn’t have that much time to get more sleep. “No thank you I was actually about to head out!”

“You sure?” He asked in a concerned tone.

“Yes I have things to do today”

“Like what?” He asked, being as overprotective as usual.

“Like meeting a classmate in the park to do an assignment” I walked towards the bathroom where he was standing in the mirror doing his skin care. “Why do you care anyways?” I nudged him on the shoulder.

He rolled his eyes. “You know why n/n”

“You’re right I do” I chuckled and hugged him and he returned my hug. I tried to pull away but he didn’t let me go just yet.

“If you need anything I’m a phone call away okay?”

“Yeah yeah” I tried to pull away again but he still wasn’t budging.

“I mean it y/n, you can always call or text or come to my job or-“

I cut him off, “you see you say all this but when I come to your work you act like you don’t want me there.” Levi made a ‘tsk’ sound and I chuckled. “Okay I get it I’ll call you if I need you. bye see you later” with that he let me go.

“Bye”

I grabbed my car keys, Levi was nice enough to leave them on the key rack for me and I made my way outside.

When I got in the car I noticed it had been cleaned to the point it was almost spotless. “Aww he cleaned my car!” I said showing gratitude. I cranked up the car and backed out the driveway. “ I really do love that tiny old man.”

-

I parked my car and made my way to the bench in front of the pond in the park. I don’t know where Eren wanted to meet but wherever he was going he had to see the pond because you literally had to see it to come into the park.

I sat on the bench and noticed the ducks swimming around in it. They were so peaceful just swimming. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh you came” I looked to the left and saw Eren. “I didn’t think you would show up since you didn’t come to school” he sat down next to me putting his bag in between us.

“Then why did you come?”

“I come here everyday after school”

“Oh”

“Anyways let’s just get started junkie”

There he goes. Just when I think we’re having a normal conversation he starts with the name calling.

“Okay, so tell me about yourself,” I said, opening my notebook.

“Well my names Eren, I was born in Paradis-“

I cut him off with annoyance. “Can you please just be serious for once?”

“I was being serious, I was telling you about me.” He said messing with me

“Okay tell me things I don’t know.” I said already getting tired of this.

“Well how do you know I’m from Paradis? I could be from Marley” he said, messing with me even more.

“Are you?”

“No”

“Exactly. Now please stop.”

“Stop what I’m not doing anything ” he said with a grin on his face.

“Well that’s it for our session” I closed my notebook and got up.

“Wait. I’ll stop, let’s just work now”

“Okay. Now tell me about yourself”

“Um, my favorite food is chee burg. Wait no it’s stew, yeah that’s right it’s a stew my mom used to make for me.” He looked like he was really trying to think of things to say.

“Do you really need all this time just to think about yourself?”

He scoffed. “Okay then tell me about you then” he pulled out his notebook and looked at me.

-

“It’s been an hour and the only thing I have for you is your favorite food” I said looking at Eren.

“Well the only thing I have for you is your favorite color” he chuckled.

“Can we wrap this up and maybe try again another day?”

“What are you sick of me already, druggie?”

“Yes.yes I am”

“Alrighty” he stood up. “ It's not like I enjoy your company anymore than you do mine.”

“The fact you put ‘enjoy’ and ‘your company’ in the same sentence bothers me,” I said in utter disgust.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever” with that he walked away and I was left sitting there staring at absolutely nothing.

I couldn’t believe we actually got nothing done. I was so glad we had almost all year to do this assignment because it was definitely going to take some time.

I decided it was best to go home and deal with my parents now. I already knew what awaited me when I got home. Especially because I hadn’t gone to school.

-

When I entered my house it was as usual. Violet and Angie were in their rooms, my step mom was sitting down reading and my dad was at work.

I knew I couldn’t tiptoe past my step mom but still I tried to walk by without too much interaction.

“Well if it isn’t Ms. I’m going to skip school and not tell anyone of my whereabouts,” my step mom said, placing down her book on the coffee table she was sitting at.

“Hi Deb” I said, sending her an awkward smile.

She frowned in disgust, “I notice the dishes I told you to clean last night have not been put up yet, why is that?”

“Well you see when you wash dishes they get wet, and you have to wait for them to dry before putting them up.” I said sarcastically.

“Don’t be a smart ass y/n and go do what the hell I told you.” She rolled her eyes and returned to her book.

I sighed and went to put up the dishes.

I hated deb. I have hated her since I first met her. She just wasn’t a good person nor a good mother. When I first met her she was a party animal. She would go out partying every night without a care in the world for her kids. She would drop them off on anyone she could and most of the time that person was me. The saddest part is that she didn’t even bother to teach them anything so not only was I stuck raising her kid that was younger than me but I also had to teach the one that was my age basic life skills because she failed to do her job as a mom.

And not to mention she was the reason for her daughter's ongoing rivalry that caused me several headaches. She would always pin the two against each other and play favorites so that they competed for her love. One day she would be making fun of Angie’s looks but boosting Violet making Violet think she was better than Angie and the next it would be the other way around although it was kinda obvious that violet was her overall favorite.

But I also didn’t like her for the simple fact that she was with my father. I mean maybe I was wrong for not liking her because of that but in my eyes why would any decent person be with a man like him? He’s absolutely awful and he doesn’t even try to hide it when it comes to women. Any woman who meets him will tell you all he wants is a woman that follows his every command like a puppet. And after knowing that she still wanted to be with him I don’t know how she expected me to see her as a good person.

I finished putting up the last plate in the cabinet and headed to my room.

Angie was on her bed and it looked like she was sleeping. I couldn’t help but walk over to her. I was just looking and thinking about how much she’d grown over the years and how the little baby I once knew is practically gone and then for some reason my hand reached out. I don’t know why but within the next second my hand was in her hair playing with it.

It wasn’t until she looked at me that I realized what I was doing and immediately pulled my hand away from her. “I’m sorry.” I said and just walked back over to my bed.

“Y/n” I heard Angie say.

“Yes?”

She got up with her blanket and stuffed animal and came to my bed, “I’m sorry” she said.

I scooted over and made room for her in my bed. “Have you reflected on your actions?” I asked as she laid down next to me.

“Yes I’ve been thinking about it all day and I feel awful I should’ve never treated you like that.” She said and I could tell she genuinely felt bad.

I hugged her, “it’s okay Angie you’re only human and mood swings can be unpredictable. What do I always tell you?”

“All we can do is reflect and grow”

“Exactly so don’t beat yourself up over it.” I kissed her forehead and turned the other way.

I was happy to see I was raising Angie okay or at least better than my parents raised me, she was really a good kid, I knew that from the day I laid eyes on her. She was never a trouble maker or anything and overall really easy to take care of, she never gave me any problems that’s why I was so shocked when she lashed out on me but then again she’s at that age where her hormones take over and some things you really just can’t help.

I sighed closing my eyes and drifted to sleep.

Trigger warning: this chapter contains very dark content such as abuse, rape, suicide attempt, drug use/ being addicted to drugs and mentions of being suicidal. None of this is in graphic detail but still I know it can be triggering so read at your own risk!

The week had flown by fairly quickly and it was now Thursday.

It's been stressful in my house ever since I came back from Annie's. My dad yelled at me for not coming home claiming he was worried which couldn't be far from the truth, my step mom had come back from her girls trip with her friends and wouldn't stop bitching at me to do every little thing, Violet had been out with her friends so I had to do all the chores by myself, not like she helped anyways, and Angie still wasn't talking to me and actually seemed to be mad at me.

Over the last couple of days she would send me dirty looks, make messes knowing my step mom would make me clean them and I also heard her talking shit about me on the phone with her friends. I was truly hurt. I tried to talk to her but she would just walk away.

Nevertheless I couldn't just spend all my time worrying about my home life, I had shit to do. I had to take my mom to rehab Friday morning, I had to work with Eren on our project Friday and I also had plans to hang out with Furlan, he texted me about some party he wanted to go to and I said yes. 

I had a lot on my plate so hanging out with Furlan wasn't a bad idea at all.

It was about nine pm and I decided it was time to go to bed so I had energy for tomorrow. I knew I would need it dealing with my mom and Eren.

-

I got up bright and early, got ready then headed to my mom's apartment. My mom and dad lived very close so I decided to walk.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I hadn't seen my mom in a very long time. The last time I saw her was when I gave her keys to her car back when she got out of rehab the last time. And I literally just handed her keys to her and left without saying anything.

The only reason I'm even doing this is because she told me she wanted to get help again.

I knocked on her door and it took her a while to answer. But when she did she was in nothing but a robe.

"Hi, just give me one second," she said, sending me a big smile and heading back to her room.  

I sat on her couch awkwardly and just waited for her to get done.

She got done and came into the living room. "How do I look?" She asked me.

She was just dressed in plain clothing, no make up on anything, "good considering this is rehab"

"Great, let's go!" She said handing me the car keys.

"Alright" I got up and headed to the door.

"Y/n actually do you have a minute?" My mom stopped me.

"No, I don't" I said in a very uninterested tone.

"Please" she grabbed my arm which i pulled away. "It'll be quick I just need a moment with you"

"Okay." I said giving in.

She went back to sit on the couch and I followed her.

"I uh. I just wanted to say I'm uh-" I could tell she was finding it hard to form a sentence and I really didn't have time for this.

"You're what? Can you get it out already?"

"You're right." She took a breath. "I wanted to say I'm sorry about our last encounter." She got too embarrassed to look at me so her eyes were facing the floor.

"Okay" I said getting off the couch getting ready to just walk away but she grabbed me.

"I mean it, I truly am sorry for the things I said."

"I said okay didn't I? What do you want from me? You want me to say I forgive you? Because I don't."

"No I just-"

"Save it, I don't need your excuses in my life."

"Y/n-"

"Let's just go ma"

My mom just stopped trying and got in the car. There was an awkward silence the whole way there.

"Were here" I said.

My mom unbuckled her seatbelt and I thought she was about to get out of the car but instead she reached over and hugged me.

I was shocked and didn't hug her back but tears began to form in my eyes as I heard her sniffling. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"M-" my voice cracked. "Mom"

"I'm sorry y/n I really am. I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't much of a good mom and I'm sorry that I'm still not much of a good one"

I didn't know what to say. I was honestly shocked and kinda just frozen in place. My mom didn't let go of me and to be honest I really wanted her to. I just wanted the morning to be over already, I already had a stressful day and I didn't need to add more to it.

I pulled away from her and she noticed I was uncomfortable so she pulled away too.

"Mom I want to accept your apology but you've done nothing to show me you mean them. There's been countless times where you've failed me and I don't understand how you expect me to move past that."

"I have y/n I have shown you I mean them." My mom looked at me with teary eyes and grabbed my hand.

I snatched my hand away, "Really? What have you done to show me?" I was getting angry and you could hear it in my tone.

"I'm getting better for you baby" she said rubbing my thigh which I also had to move away from her.

"Do you know how many times you've said that to me and look where we are?" I said pointing at the rehab building.

"I know but it takes time"

"Oh I know that but I didn't think you needed a whole seventeen years mom"

She put her head down in shame and I just scoffed. It's just like her to play the victim in my life that she and my father destroyed. "So what else have you done to show me you mean your apologies? I really want to know mom, what have you done?"

"Well I left Nick. I kicked him out and cut all contact." She said with a gleam of hope in her eyes that I would give her some type of praise or reward for doing the bare minimum.

But I just laughed. "Oh wow mom you cut off one of my abusers and then left me with the other one for my whole entire life." I had to stop myself from laughing because I was cracking up inside. "You are such a good mom" I said sarcastically, sending her a smile.

She had her head down with a look of shame. I could tell she was extremely hurt but I didn't have it in me to stop. "Say mom what did you do when I told you what dad did to me?"

She sat there looking at me with sad eyes, "I-" I cut her off before she could start.

"No, actually I'll tell you. You hung up the phone and the next day I went to your apartment and it was littered with drugs and you were passed out. And do you know what else is crazy about that? You not only traumatized me for life that day but that was also the day you came back home from rehab." I sighed. "And you don't even have a good reason for doing this. Do you not know how guilty I felt that day? I was waiting in the emergency room crying because I was the reason you were there in the first place." I could feel my eyes getting watery.

"I was nothing but a little girl. I didn't deserve that mom and you know that."

My mom began to break down worse and I started to feel bad. "I'm so sorry y/n I remember that day too and I feel like absolute shit for doing that to you. You deserve so much better than me." She said, At this point she was violently shaking and crying. It looked like she was about to throw up so I didn't say anything else and just let the conversation calm down.

After a few minutes of silence I decided to ask my final question. "Can I ask you something?" I looked over to her and she looked at me with puffy eyes but shook her head letting me know I could. "Why did you do that? Why did you overdose that day I told you about what happened to me?" I said in a calm voice to let her know I was no longer angry, just curious.

"it um-" she coughed a little to clear her throat. "It just reminded me of bad times and I needed something to take my mind off of it" she said staring out of the window not wanting to look me in the eyes.

"What? Mom, were you-" she cut me off.

"Yes," she sighed. "I don't talk about my past much, but when I was young, I lived with my grandmother and grandfather. My mom cheated on her husband and ended up getting pregnant with me. The only way she could save her relationship was to leave me behind with them. And my dad already had another family before I was even born, and he wasn't going to ruin that for me either." Midway through her explanation, she started breaking down. "I'm sorry, it's just that..."

I cut her off because I noticed it was getting hard for her to speak. "It's okay, Mom. You don't have to explain if you're not comfortable."

"No, it's fine. It's just that I haven't thought about it in a while, so it's a bit difficult to speak on." She took a deep breath and then continued speaking. "My grandpa died when I was twelve, and two years after that, my grandma died. My mom finally decided to come and take me in so I could stay with her, her husband, and their two daughters. Both of them were younger than me and basically treated me like their mother because my mom was almost never around." My mom chuckled, looking out of the car window.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"It's just that after all those years living with my grandparents, I thought I was missing out on having a mother, but in reality, she wasn't even there for the kids she was with," she sighed. "Going back to the story, I ended up having to take care of them because my mom was never around, and their dad was always at work. My mother and her husband were also alcoholics, so when they were home, I would try to keep the kids away from them as much as possible because they would always be drunk."

"During the entire time I stayed there, my mom would physically hurt me. She would throw empty glass bottles at me, plates, and anything else within reach. She would tell me I was the reason she suffered and that she never wanted me. One day, my stepdad walked in on this and rushed to comfort me. It was the first time I felt like I had someone to lean on for support. After that, he started paying more attention to me. He would buy me things, tell me he was there for me if I needed him, and even defend me against my mom. I started to trust him with everything. He was like my best friend in a way."

"But one day, he came home drunk again, and I was yelling at him because he had promised to quit. He smiled and kissed me. I tried to push him away, but it was no use. That day, he made me feel absolutely disgusting. After he was done, he passed out on the couch, and although I didn't want to be near him, I had to zip his pants back up because I didn't want the kids to see anything."

"That night, I told my mom about what had happened, and the only thing that came out of her mouth were insults towards me. She told me I had seduced him and that I had stolen her husband from her. She left for two days, leaving me alone with him. He tried to talk to me like nothing had happened, but I couldn't pretend. I started crying every time. The girls I cared for would come to check on me every day. They would ask if I was alright, but I couldn't tell them anything."

"I remember he came to my room and asked me what he had done wrong, and I finally told him. He said he was sorry and didn't remember, but he'd never do it again. I forgave him, but I wish I hadn't because he lied to me. A week later, he would come home every day and do it again. I forgave him each time because he said he was drunk and didn't remember, or sometimes he would say he thought I was mom, but I knew he was lying because I would hear him arguing with her before he came and did that to me."

"Around that time, I met a guy. I wasn't into him or anything, but he always gave me drugs. He told me they would make me feel better, and they did. So I followed him around like a lost puppy. It got so bad that I couldn't live without them. If I was without them for a second, I felt disgusted with myself, and my thoughts would start going crazy, telling me I deserved everything I went through and didn't deserve to live."

"I was seventeen when I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I tried to end it all, but I wasn't successful. My neighbor ended up coming to check on me because I wasn't answering anyone's phone calls. He found me unresponsive and called for help," she sighed. "Now do you understand why I hung up the phone, y/n? I'm not good at comforting people because I've never had comfort. Even when I lived with my grandparents there was no comfort, only work. The only comfort I've ever had in my life was drugs so that day you told me what happened to you I turned to them. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm no better than the mom I had myself" she looked at me and frowned. "I'm not a good mother y/n and I'll never be able to do anything good for you. Even if I try to get help I'll fail every time. The only reason I come to this place is to stop me from killing myself. The only advice I can give you is to never be like me in life y/n, anything is better than me." With that she reached in the back, grabbed her bag and was about to leave but I locked the doors.

I reached over and gave her the biggest hug. I felt like utter shit for the things I said to her. She might not have been the best mom, and her actions most definitely can't be excused, but no one deserves what she went through, not even her.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," I cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Please don't be. This has nothing to do with you and also doesn't excuse how horrible of a mom I am to you," she hugged me back with one hand and took the other and played in my hair. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Mom."

We stayed like that for a few minutes, crying in each other's arms until my mom let me know she had to go, and I had to let go. We said our goodbyes, and she got out of the car.

Instead of pulling off right away, though, I decided to put my head down and think. I thought about what my mom said.

"Never be like me in life, Y/N," her voice repeated in my head. I sighed, lifting my head up and putting the car in reverse.

"Oh, Mom, I already am."

Trigger warning: physical abuse, drug use, arguing, sucide attempt, cutting, blood, (I think that’s all )

This chapter is really just flashbacks from different times in y/n’s life so if you’re confused just know this is from the past.

"Do you want a bubble bath?" she asked me, her face full of anticipation. I looked at her, not understanding what she meant. What were bubbles and why did they have anything to do with my bath?

It wasn't until she pulled out a bottle with strawberry shortcake on it that I understood what she meant. I wanted to say something, but all I could do was give her a toothless smile and try to say, "Yeah."

Although it sounded nothing like what it was supposed to, she understood. "Of course you do!"

She went over to the tub, leaving me on top of the toilet seat. She started the water and poured a little bit of the product in. She came back to me with a smile on her face.

All I could do was look at her in awe. She looked so beautiful, and I loved that smile on her face. It was rare, but it was nice.

"Come on, mama, we have to get you cleaned up!" She picked me up and brought me to the tub.

Once I got in, I was so happy I began to play with the bubbles. They smelled so good, I tried to taste them, but the woman stopped me.

"Y/n, no, these aren't edible, baby," she laughed. Once she stopped laughing, she just looked at me. I didn't notice her looking at first, but when I did, I turned to stare at her as well. It wasn't until I turned my head sideways that she stopped.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. You must have found that weird," she giggled.

She picked up a cloth from the side of me and began putting some soap on it. "Now it's time to clean you, my love," the woman said, and that she did.

While she cleaned me, she began to vent about her life.

"Your dad drives me crazy, y/n. He's always blabbing about something," she said. Her sentence made me giggle. I even tried to repeat the word "babbling," but it just came out as "bla," which made the woman laugh, and then she went back to ranting.

"Not to mention my dealers are out of town, so I'm completely sober. News flash: he sounds way worse sober." I giggled at her funny faces. But the woman only sighed.

"I have a feeling you like me better sober, though, right, y/n?" I looked at her, confused again, not knowing what she was talking about.

"I know when I'm sober I'm more active with you, I'm better for you, and I'm less of a bitch. I hate myself for not being the best I can be for you, and I promise one day I'll change. You hear me, y/n? I'm going to change for you and be the best person I can be. I'll be the mama you deserve!"

The woman was basically shouting at this point, and I could tell she was done speaking.

"Bitch," I said, clear enough for the woman to hear.

Her face dropped and she looked at me. "What did you just say, young lady?"

I giggled at her and said my new word again. "Bitch."

"Y/n, you can't say words like that," the woman said, with horror on her face.

"Bitch," I laughed.

"Ugh, I really have to watch what I say around you," she said, reaching for the bathtub stopper and letting the water out.

"Bitch," I said again. I thought the funny faces she was making because of this word were hilarious, so yes, I kept saying it.

"Y/n, please don't say words like that. I know I said it, and I'm sorry, but I don't want you saying it, so from now on, I won't say it either, okay?" The woman tried to reason with me.

I gave her a smile before I said my other word that the woman was always used to hearing. "Mama."

The lady looked at me in awe before picking me up and lifting me in the air. "Aww, y/n, I love you," she said, pulling me to her chest and giving me kisses.

I may not have known a lot of things she talked about or what she meant most of the time, but I knew what the word "love" meant, and I would do anything to hear her say it.

-

That was fifteen years ago and that woman is nowhere to be found.

“Y/n”

Or should I say she’s just not the same person she was when I was two?

“Y/n”

Was she just a liar?

“Y/N” the person beside me yelled.

I realized I zoned out.

"Hey pretty lady, don't get ahead of yourself," the guy next to me said, holding my hair back as I took another sniff of the white powder spread in a perfect line across the table in front of me.

"Can't I have one more fun night?" I mumbled, my words slurred. The way I spoke, the strange hand gestures I made, and the way my body swayed back and forth told everyone I was out of it. But those around me couldn't care less. We were all addicts, so who cared if I was a little more addicted than the others?

“Y/n, Why do you always say weird shit like that?” The boy across from me said while lighting a cigarette.

"I don't think my words are weird," I giggled as I leaned over the table and cupped his face. "But I do find it odd that we aren't on the dance floor right now," I said as I grabbed his collar and led him to the rest of the party.

“Y/n you don’t even like crowds so why the hell are you dragging me into one?”

“Because it’s fun now shut up and dance with me”

The man sighed and surrendered. He knew even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to resist my charm, so he gave in and let his feet get used to the rhythm that was playing on the speakers.

Rambo—that was the name of the man I was dancing with. He was very tall—I'm not sure how tall exactly—but he towered over me and couldn't fit in any vehicle with a roof. He had long black hair and dark eyes; if I hadn't known that no such thing as black eyes exists, I might have mistaken them for being black. He had random tattoos all over his body, but the one that grabbed my attention was the one on his hand—a sobbing kid getting food and drinks dumped on him while the individuals doing it laughed at him. I had a weird feeling that the boy was me—in pain and everyone around him laughing, a reflection of my life.

But no matter how attractive he was, how intriguing his tattoos were, or how well he could sometimes treat me, my brain was only focused on one thing.

The drugs he provided me.

Rambo was more than just a handsome man with mysterious tattoos. He was also a handsome man with mysterious tattoos who happened to be the town's biggest drug dealer. But, above all, my drug dealer.

So getting back to the dance floor.

No, I'm not dancing with him because I want to. In fact I had no intention of dancing with him for long. I just needed two things from him.

And as my feet move, In sync with the song that the speaker is blasting and my whole mind goes blank I can already tell that the first thing has been completed.

Distraction.

I did feel really bad using Rambo as a distraction but right now I needed it. After everything that’s gone on in my life today it’s what I needed.

Earlier today

I could already tell today was going to be a rough day. I had to take my mom to the mental hospital for the second time this year, she wanted to try and get better again. But that’s not why my day was going to be rough, it was going to be rough because I was finally going to confess to her something I had been keeping a secret for three years.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I had to do it and I hoped she would be there for me.

I decided to wait until we were in the parking lot of the hospital to tell her so that things would be easier on my part.

“Mom” I looked over to the passenger seat. “I-“ suddenly my throat ran dry, “I need to tell you something” I felt tears coming out of my eyes.

“What is it my love?” She looked concerned.

“I- uh it’s about Nick”

Nick was my moms boyfriend of two years.

“What about Nick y/n, is something wrong with him, is he hurt?”

“No mom it’s-“ I had to take a deep breath before telling her because it was hard for me to say anything. “Mom Nick hurts me”

“What?”

“He hurts me mom.”

“In what ways?”

“He attacks me. When you’re asleep sometimes he comes into my room and starts hitting me. He punches me and slaps me for the smallest things mom. Yesterday when I didn’t put up the dishes he-“ mom cut me off

Y/n shut up”

“Huh?” I was confused, didn't she care about what I was telling her?

“I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP” she screamed at me. I began to shake because my mom never screamed at me like this. “He wouldn’t do these things you can’t be telling me the truth”

“What mom? I wouldn’t lie about something like this please belie-“ Again she cut me off.

“I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP Y/N. ITS YOU YOU'RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM.”

“mom” I looked at her with tears starting to roll down my eyes.

“EVERY WEEK IT'S A NEW LIE. YOU'RE A LIAR AND ALL YOU DO IS MAKE PROBLEMS WITH OTHERS, WHY CAN'T YOU STOP THIS BULLSHIT Y/N?”

“MOM I'M NOT LYING HE DID THESE THINGS TO ME.”

“JUST STOP. DON'T YOU SEE THIS IS WHY NO ONE WANTS TO BS AROUND YOU?” She yelled.

“Mom” I said my voice barely being heard with tears pouring down my face.

“ALL YOU DO IS RUIN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIFES Y/N '' she continued with her hurtful words.

“Mom please”

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE.”

“Mom”

“YOU RUINED YOUR FATHERS LIFE.”

“Mom”

“ AND THANK GOD YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS BECAUSE THEIR LIVES WOULD BE RUINED TOO”

“mom that’s enough” I said but I guess my voice was still unheard.

“YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU Y/N. I WOULD BE SO MUCH HAPP-“

"Enough! Do you think I enjoy being in this situation? My life has been nothing but suffering. Everywhere I go, I'm hurt. I hate my life more than you know. Don't bother telling me any more. I wish I'd never been born too. Every morning brings more anguish." I had to take a breath because I said all of this while in tears but no I wasn’t finished.

"But, good grief, Mom, I thought maybe you would help me through this. Maybe you would comfort me through my suffering, like any mother would do. But no, you weren't even there. Do you know where you were? You were on that couch, taking pills left and right, while the man you were dating abused me for his own pleasure. And the nerve you have! You're sitting next to your only daughter who is willing to take care of you in your every state, yet you don't care that she is being hurt by the man you are choosing to date." You laughed. "But the funny thing is, this is expected, Mom. Yup, it's very expected. Because whether you're intoxicated or nearly on your deathbed, I am always there for you. But the minute I even open my mouth to tell you something, I am a liar. Yet, I never called you a liar all those times you told me you had stopped taking drugs. In fact, I applaud you, even though I knew you were lying straight to my face."

“Y/n I-“ your mother tried to speak but it was far too late.

"You know I try with you and Dad, I really do. After all the things you've both put me through, I still try to hold love in my heart, thinking one day you guys will be decent to me. But if I'm being honest, it's a never-ending cycle, and I'm tired of fighting." Just then, you unlocked the car doors. "Get out, Mom, and go start your healing process. This time, I hope you mean the words you say, and maybe you can be a better woman for Nick, because I'm well aware you'll never be one for me."

She frowned at me but still got out of the car without saying a word.

I didn’t care though. I mean what could she say anyways?

I began to break down in my car. I felt awful. I had just gone off on my mom. I didn’t mean to but the things she said made me so angry. I didn’t deserve those words but then again maybe she didn’t either? How the hell should I know.

I sighed and began to drive off. Idk where I was going, maybe Rambo’s house? I needed something to get my mind off of this situation and I knew he had it, so that’s where I was headed.

-

And that's how I ended up in my current situation and in need of a distraction. But you're probably wondering, if the first task has been completed, then what's the second one? Well, like I said, I needed something to get my mind off of my situation, and although the white powdery substance and the dancing may have helped for a little bit, I was looking for something that might last me all night - or maybe a whole lifetime if I played my cards right.

"Hey, Rambo," I asked and suddenly stopped dancing.

"Yes, sunshine?" he asked, still continuing to move his head and feet to the beat with a smile on his face.

"Do you happen to have pills on you?" I asked innocently.

"I sure do," he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pill bottle and handed it to me. "Knock yourself out."

"Will do," I made my way upstairs to the bathroom. Before I entered, I turned around and took one last glance at the dance floor. I saw Rambo dancing with girls all around him and chuckled. Damn, I loved it when that man had a smile on his face.

I entered the bathroom and made my way to the toilet for a seat. I took a deep breath before popping open the pill bottle. The pills were small and blue, and the bottle was almost completely full. I laughed; only a fool would trust me with this many pills. I decided instead of taking the whole thing, I would just take three. Three would be enough to get me high, and I could handle everything else with my little pocket friend.

I popped out my phone and began to text Hitch. I just wanted to tell her, "Thank you," before I did something irreversible. She deserved at least a thank you.

After I sent the text, I waited about another ten minutes for the drugs to kick in, which they did. I pulled out the knife from my back pocket and examined it.

People always asked me why I carried this knife with me, and I never really gave an answer, so they just assumed it was for self-defense. I mean, I was a woman living in a town where a lot of shit went down. Who wouldn't want to have some sort of defense weapon?

But that wasn’t the case for me. In actuality, this was for personal usage, aka cutting. Yes, I know it’s weird to bring the knife I cut with places, but I never knew when I might need it, so I always had it on standby.

I rolled up my sleeves to reveal my arm with all the cuts on it. Maybe it was me being high, but I laughed. It was funny how I could name every reason behind why I had each cut.

“This one is from when Regan pushed me into a locker and everyone started laughing,” I laughed to myself while pointing at the cut. “Ugh, horrible times.”

I didn’t want to sit here and relieve all my awful memories so I decided that I would just take one last deep breath and open up the knife.

When I opened it up I was shocked. I had thought about doing this before but now I was finally doing it. It was such a weird feeling and so many questions were going in and out my head.

Is this the right thing to do?

What about your mom will she feel guilty?

What about Angie?

Do you really want to do this?

I sighed. Honestly I wasn’t sure, was this the way to go? Probably not when have I ever gone the right way.

Nevertheless, I continued. It had been seventeen years and I still hadn’t found a reason to live; there was no need to waste any more time. With that, I took the knife and gave myself the deepest cut on my wrist I had ever done.

It hurt like an absolute bitch, and I wanted to scream so loud. I even thought of backing out for a second, and started silently begging, “Please make this stop. I've changed my mind; please!” I said, but my voice was barely above a whisper.

Tears started streaming from my eyes, and my lips started to tremble. This is it, I thought. This is where I end it all – no more pain, no more suffering. It's all over.

As more blood drained from my wrist, I began to get flashbacks – but not of every part of my life; only the good times. There were flashbacks of me running around the yard while Mama chased me, me and Hitch sitting on the swing talking about the boy she had a crush on at the time, and us being a giggly mess. I also remembered Mama holding me in her lap and singing to me. The flashbacks were deceiving me into thinking I had made the wrong choice, and sadly, I believed them.

I began to call for help, but my voice was still lower than a whisper: “Please, someone help me!” I cried, but it was far too late – the pain was so bad, and I could already feel myself slipping away.

I closed my eyes and swallowed my faith. This wasn't going to end like some fairytale. I did this to myself and needed to accept the fact that I was going to die. The sound drained from my ears, and I got off the toilet and laid on the floor. Suddenly, I felt okay with this ending; it wasn't such a bad one. To be honest, I'm surprised I didn't do this earlier. I sighed, "Well, y/n, it was nice knowing you." I said. "I'm sorry I couldn't let you live longer, and I hope you're not mad. I mean, you could have been a billionaire with an emotional background, but I cut that dream short." I chuckled. Even in death, I was still too pathetic to have anyone other than myself to talk to. "Goodbye now."

Just then, the door to the bathroom hit my head. "Is someone in here?" I heard a girl say. She continued to push the door; I don't think she knew it was my head. "Why the fuck is this door so heavy? I got to take a piss," she scoffed.

She ended up squeezing through the little crack she managed to make, and that's when she saw me. I was curled up in a little ball with my wrist tucked under me. "Oh, shit! I didn't know you were sleeping," she said, but of course, I didn't answer. She must have figured I was just a deep sleeper because she was pushing the door pretty hard on my head. Since I was facing away from the toilet, she just used the bathroom. When she was done, she washed her hands and looked back at me. She found it weird I wasn't moving at all. "I hope I didn't kill her," the woman said to herself. She sighed and checked my head. There were no injuries, but she still didn't walk away. She had a bad feeling; leaving a girl alone sleeping on a bathroom floor at a party full of people wasn't a good idea.

She began to tap me to tell me to get up, but there was no response. So she tried shaking me, but again no response. “Shit,” she said under her breath, “she’s probably passed out drunk.” The woman got up and sighed. She was thinking about just picking me up, but where exactly would she take me? I were drunk, and she wasn’t just about to go around asking strangers if they knew me. Then she thought that maybe I had a phone on me, and began to search.

After searching almost everywhere, she thought it might be in my hand and began to look there, but to her horror, the minute she got my hands from under me, there was no phone. Instead, there was blood soaking my shirt. “Shit,” she examined my wrist and realized a deep cut. “Don’t tell me she—” The girl had no time to think. The cut was too deep, and I was already unconscious. She couldn’t waste more time. She quickly picked me up and put me on her back and rushed to her car. She got strange looks, but it’s not like she noticed.

She put me in her car and started to drive. She didn’t even know where the hospital was; her body was on autopilot. But somehow, she managed to drive all the way there. She picked me up out of the car again and got you on her back. She couldn’t help but realize how cold I was.

She made it inside the hospital and went to the front lady. “I need help immediately!”

“Ma'am, you have to wait in the waiting area,”

“No, you don’t understand; she's bleeding out of her wrist and she's not responsive.”

“Bring her this way,” the lady stood up and took Annie to the emergency area. Soon, doctors came out with a stretcher and helped take me off her back and laid her down.

“What's her name?” the nurse asked while the doctors rolled her away.

She looked at her but she couldn’t tell. She looked so lifeless. “I have no idea; she was just at a party I went to.”

“What's your name?” The nurse asked.

“Annie. Annie Leonhart.”

“Thank you. She's in good hands; you can wait for her over there,” the nurse pointed over at the waiting room.

Annie shook her head and made her way over there.

Annie ended up waiting there all night. The nurses told her multiple times that she could leave, but she refused; she didn't know you, or anything about you, but she wanted to make sure you were all right. At about seven a.m., a nurse came out and told her you were doing okay; she said it was likely you would be up in a couple of minutes, if she wanted to stick around for that.

Annie obviously agreed. She waited a few more minutes until the nurse told her you were ready. She followed the nurse to your room and there you were. Your eyes were blankly staring at the wall in front of you, and you looked scared. Annie just stared at you. She could tell exactly who you were now: You were Y/N L/N, and everything started to make sense to her. She knew how bad your school life was; she and you went to the same school and word gets around like wildfire. She knew about the bullying, the harassment, the abuse, and the rumors spread on you, but she never thought it was this bad.

“I want to leave” I whispered.

“I’m sorry dear but we need to call your parents” the nurse said.

“No, please, just let me go home,” I said.

“We need you to tell us how you got that cut on your hand,” the nurse replied.

“It was from broken glass; can I go now?”

“Well, you need someone to--”

“I'll do it,” Annie said.

“Huh?” the nurse said, confused.

“I'll take her home,” I said.

“Alright,” the nurse handed me a bag with my stuff in it.

I got up to change and went outside with the woman who said she'd take me home. In reality, I had no intention of going with her; I just didn't want to hear that nurse speak anymore.

I began to walk away in my own direction.

“Where are you going?” she called out to me.

“Don't worry about it,” I said, still walking away.

Suddenly, a hand touched my shoulder. “Hey, I said I'll take you home.”

“Back off. Why do you care so much? I'm not going home, and I don't even know you. So please, leave me alone.”

I tried to walk away, but she wasn't budging. “Hey, I said--” She didn't even say anything; she just started dragging me to her car.

Annie didn't take me home that day. Instead, she took me to get food and then to her house, where I showered and she let me borrow her clothes. After that, we went to watch a movie together. It's like she could tell that's what I needed after the night before.

After that day, Annie and I were almost always side by side. I got to know her and I trusted her; I knew I could tell her anything, and she would always be by my side.

I said Annie was the one following me around, but if I'm being honest, it's probably the other way around. Annie was the sunshine I needed when the storm got too dark and noisy; I knew that wherever she went, there would be some sort of light for me, so of course I followed her around.

As time went on, Annie realized I was relying on her to be a source of light and strength in my life. So she decided to be the light I needed to find my way through the darkness and to be the support I needed until I could learn to stand on my own.

And although I will never get her to admit it she and I both knew that the bond formed that day would forever be unbreakable.