While working I've been thinking on what makes K and Elymas different given that one is just the DnD edition of the other and that I write the core personality of both the same, like where exactly did they diverge? What traits were amplified? Which ones never developed?
While im sure there's a lot, the one I stumbled upon today is an innate nihilism of sorts? like it's not quite nihilism and im not versed enough in these terms to tell you what it is, but essentially he's sure that the worst possible outcome will come to pass UNLESS he interferes in some way. Very much a "Rage, rage against the dying light" kind of guy.
This mentality is what keeps him from giving up and pursuing every possible way out, but it can also get real dangerous if/when he runs out of options. If he can't do anything, he assumes that it can't get better instead of thinking that time or others might make a difference. While I write both with this trait, it's perceived lack of available options that differentiates the two.
In both of their cases, they're out of options entirely. However for K, he doesn't know everything going on in his situation. He's dealing with an unknown power with unknown limits and unknown solutions that was all kicked off by himself. This puts him in a position where he's sure that there has to be a way to fix things because there are so many unknowns, which means it's not a concrete no, and because he caused this therefore, there must be a way for him to fix this, right? right??? It eventually escalates to an obsession, normally I'd say delusion, but since there IS a fix at the end of the day, he's not exactly wrong.
If I had to pick a song to match it, would definitely be The Alchemist by Philmont. It's very on point, even to where the solution isn't exactly something K would have been able to figure out through traditional methods.
Elymas on the other hand was operating on concrete assumptions for the longest time, his parents were elves, and he was an aasimar. He could hunt for a way to extend his life for his entire life and his parents would still be in their prime. What he didn't account for was that war and how elves can still be killed. He didn't account for finding his home in ruins, but he didn't see any bodies (because he couldnt bring himself to check), so he started running on those same unknowns K was. Until he was told without a doubt, hey yeah, family is dead. Like yeah, he could bring them back to life, this is DnD after all, but the fact that he hadn't come home in time to help them fight was another failure in of itself. Despite the time limit being his own lifespan, he was still somehow alive and too late. Even if he brought them back, it wouldnt change that he was too late. All of this turning into him self-sabatoging cause at least that was something he was in control of- at least that was actually his fault and not just. Ignorance cause he'd made a poor uninformed decision years ago.
If I had to pick a song to match this, funnily I'd pick LET THE GRASS GROW by Ruel. It's a relatively calm song, not one full of anguish but rather, a contented resignation of sorts? I dunno, the emotions Elymas is deeling with are... hard to put into words, cause he doesnt want things to end but, he doesnt exactly has anything to keep going for and is well aware that he's not exactly the nicest guy
