KIWIWI

hey hi ive been quiet because ive been madly working on my webcomic behind the scenes. but then Mighty Nein animated came out and predictably hit me like a truck (i have been writing so much fanfiction. havent finished but boy howdy i have been WRITING the modern au is goin CRAZY) and then my very dear very cruel friend @tactfulgrimalkin cursed me with the question 'what would the mighty nein's animal forms be in altered (the aforementioned webcomic)' and i have not known peace since. its built out into a whole fusion-au-thing that im not gonna write but i sure do think about a lot

molly breaks a very serious rule with the way animal forms are supposed to work in altered but he's also such a bizarre existence that he kinda merits slash demands it lmao.

very little changes to the human forms except for one very important thing:

canon catboy

You live a small life with your son after your wife died, running a small town alchemist shop. You find an employer who promises financial stability, even if they're a bit rude. Then one night operatives of an neighboring enemy country kidnaps you, burns down your shop, and drags you through unending tunnels attached to a giant worm monster. You're imprisoned. You're starved. You're on the brink of death. You get periodic, somewhat nonsensical messages in your head promising rescue, but you're not even sure if they're real.

Then one random night your dead wife shows up, introduced by the voice of the messages, and she's now a badass marksman, thief, and mercenary. She also now looks like the people who killed her. She has a group of new friends/family consisting of: a sailor/vessel of an eldritch god, a former wizard assassin, a giant barbarian woman, a tiefling/chosen of a different god, a monk, a teleporting dog, and a colossal pink man who somehow is the most well-adjusted of the group. They're all covered in blood and dirt, and announce that they are the heroes of this enemy country. They keep bringing up you boning your wife. Your wife insists you get a tattoo. She also seems unhealthily attached to the wizard assassin. The wizard assassin is very awkward. The sailor keeps asking if people are actually little dragons in a trench coat. They are all fixated on a chair.

now, to preface this, a successful cultural reference, to me, has always been a little detail that, to people outside of the referenced culture, accurately albeit at a surface level signals that the character in question is indeed a member of this culture. but what seperates a decent from a well-made cultural reference, in my opinion, is whether or not the actual real-life members of the referenced culture can glean some sort of more deep-seated information about the character, based on what the presence of this specific little detail within them implies about who they are; it's a little peak behind the curtain for the very select few people that have the cultural understanding to know how to pull that curtain back, if that makes sense.

so when caleb widogast - a man from a fictionalized version of my own home, the central german countryside - eats a biscuit that is magically enchanted to change its flavor to whatever taste he likes best, decades of stereotypical representation of my culture in american media lead me to expect a successful but mediocre, predictable reference like bratwurst, sauerkraut or beer.

but that's not what happens, man.

instead, that fucking biscuit tastes like streusel. it's not just random internationally know german food item number 873 because haha get it he's german- no, it's goddamn streusel. it's the cheap ass butter-sugar crumble we put on top of some yeast dough to make a cake when we don't have the time and money for all that fancy buttercream and chocolate shit but still want our loved ones to have something sweet. it's as simple as simple gets. it's humble, it's uncomplicated, it's honest and you know what makes it even better? he doesn't even think of 'streuselkuchen'. it's not even the taste of a proper slice of the whole damn cake, it's just the taste of the topping that i know damn well his mama used to yelled at him for snatching off the cake while it was sitting on the windowsill to cool. you wanna know how i know that? because that's what mine did. and that is the power of a well-made cultural reference.