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My "I would never do cybercrime" shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

Never underestimate the power of just slapping "in an AU where..." onto the beginning of a plot idea/summary. You can do whatever you want once you got that shit there. Doesn't matter how absolutely batshit insane it is. As long as it's an AU where that insanity makes even slight sense, you're fucking golden. I once saw a Jar Jar Binks/Sheev Palpatine fic whose summary started out with "A Star Wars AU where Jar Jar never met Qui-Gon, and instead became a couples/family counselor on Naboo" and like. Wild fucking concept. Probably a wild fucking story. But no matter what happens, you've already got it covered because you established right from the start that this is already a universe where Jar Jar fucking Binks is a couples/family counselor. Anything else that happens is just bizarre icing on an already buck fucking wild cake. You can do whatever you want

And before anyone's like "bUt WhAt WeRe YoU dOiNg At ThE dEvIlS sAcRaMeNt" I was ACTUALLY looking up fics about Lurtz (the urukhai secondary antagonist from Fellowship of the Ring who kills Boromir) when I came across a "Frodo Baggins & Jar Jar Binks" tag and then ended up looking at Jar Jar Binks fics. I found a fic tagged "Abraham Lincoln/Jar Jar Binks." I also read short Anakin Skywalker/Jar Jar Binks smut fic tagged Major Character death, had the sentence "body horror abounds" in the summary, included Jar Jar calling Anakin out on racism, and a first five sentences that personally came into my home shot me in the face. It was only like 1k. Is any of this better than just being at the devil's sacrament? No. But it is significantly weirder.

you can't just say these things and not post the link

Sometimes you log on to tumblr dot com and see your beloved mutuals thirsting over unrisen sourdough men and you have to say a very very quiet ‘pass’ to yourself and let it go because inevitably the flat circle of time will bring around your turn to go gaga over some butterface dude or bug eyed girl and you must know that your beloved mutuals are saying a quiet ‘pass’ to themselves and leaving you to your moment of insanity in peace.

Mamma Mia. Obviously.

anyone else notice how when "digital assistants" were just supposed to do specific tasks when you asked for them we had Alexa and Siri and Cortana, but now that they're being marketed as smart enough to take actions and make decisions on their own they've got names like Claude and Devin

With this amount of notes someone has probably already said this but I think its kind of funny that the masculine named agents are also credited with being way more useful and capable than they really are.

your email has found me on the fucking brink