A better world is possible and it holds a place for you.

1. Understand what stats can tell you - and what they can’t

AO3 stats tell you whether or not another user clicked something. That’s it. Hits tell you whether a user clicked the title of your fic. Kudos tell you that a user clicked the little ❤ at the bottom of the page. Comments tell you that a user typed something into a box and then hit the comment button. 

Stats do not tell you why a person did any of those things. They also don’t tell you why a person didn’t do them. You know why you do those things yourself, but there are many types of people in the world and we all have our reasons why we do things. You can’t assume that every other user of AO3 uses the site the same way you do. 

Stats are not a reliable way to find out if you’re good at writing. They’re not a way to tell if you are loved. They have nothing to do with the quality of your work or your worth as a person.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others - or yourself

Because stats are not a reliable way to judge quality or skill or the effort you put into a story, comparing your stats against another author will also not tell you which of you is the “better” author or which of you has a “better” story. They can tell you which story was more popular, but popularity itself has very little to do with skill or quality. 

This is also true of your own work. Chances are very real that the story you’re most proud of is not the story with the best stats. Don’t let one story’s relative success or failure affect how you feel about another’s. 

3. Focus on things you can control instead of things you can’t

Once you’ve posted your story, the reaction to it is out of your control. It will get however many hits, kudos, and comments other people decide to give it and you can’t do much about that at all. 

What you can control, however, is the work you put into the story before you post it. Celebrate statistics like word count or time spent writing or the number of WIP you’ve managed to finish. Those are all numbers that are in your control, that you have the power to alter and affect. 

Find something in every story that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be the whole fic. It could be one particular characterization, a scene, or a line. Maybe you wrote a particularly funny joke or a really moving description or a hot love scene. 

Highlighting positive emotions and being proud of your own work will make you less reliant on the opinions of other people. You’ll develop more confidence, and that will help you avoid the stats spiral in the future. Finding motivations inside of yourself is much more reliable than getting motivation from people who might or might not continue to provide it.

4. If you can’t ignore stats, avoid them

The first time I had an unhealthy relationship with my stats page, I ended up quitting fic entirely for about a year. I still wrote, I just didn’t post anything on AO3. I couldn’t trust myself not to focus on the numbers and make myself crazy, and so I didn’t allow myself to look at them at all. 

The second time I found myself starting down the stats spiral, I knew the signs and I was able to pull myself out of it. I stopped looking at my stats page, but I was able to continue posting work. I still refreshed the page for the first day to see the hits/kudos/comments but after that first day I only returned to the fic in order to post a new chapter or answer another comment. 

There are tools you can use to help you avoid stats. This AO3 skin hides stats entirely. This code hides hits. Here’s one for hiding kudos with additional instructions on how to hide any stats you choose. 

5. Be your own cheerleader

When it comes right down to it, the reason why we focus in on stats is because we’re looking for reassurance. We want to know for sure whether we’re a good writer or not. Unfortunately, our stats are never going to tell us that. 

A lot of us are also told by others that being proud of something we’ve done or liking something that we’ve created is boastful or bragging or other negative personality traits. But there’s a difference between bragging about how good you are and acknowledging your own skills. 

Give yourself permission to like your own work. You might never get that permission from someone else, so you need to take that on yourself. 

Start talking to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend of yours who was working on a fic or a piece of art or doing anything else that requires time and skill. You wouldn’t tear them down, so don’t tear yourself down. Build yourself up. That positive self-talk can be difficult at first, but it’s a habit that pays off over time. 

6. Know that I’m proud of you

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

You KNOW classic SF used the limited displays of CRT television and the static of transmitted signals the way theaters use stage makeup and lighting to make inexpensive props look great fine— take advantage of the medium! But it's hard to imagine how it looked if you've only seen Blu-ray HD restorations.

I just had to collect all of these responses together in one place

Edit: And one from my friend, who doesn't have a tumblr (yet)