There are a lot of princes

Swallowing her tears and trying her best to put on a brave face, Ella slid one leg and then the other into his pants; remembering the jokes they used to make about it. Then, very carefully, she got to her feet and gripped Kit’s shoulder lightly with one hand to keep herself from falling as she pulled the pants up to her hips.

He left the room, heading to the kitchen and pausing at the counter. He placed his hands on the counter, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. It wasn’t easy, being this close to her and not being able to do anything - not joke with her, touch her, do anything that they used to.

@kit-itskit

The wedding had been beautiful, and Ella couldn’t be happier for Odette. At least one of them found their happy ending, and Ella was glad that it was her friend. Odette had suffered so much in the years that they had known each other, and she was very relieved that Derek would take care of her now. 

There was no doubt in Ella’s mind of that. After all, the way he’d cradled her so gently, and the way he’d wept over her death proved that. The soft tone in his voice as he whispered to her had broken not only Ella’s heart, but the hearts of all the Swan Maidens. 

But that was all in the past now. Odette’s trials were over, and Ella could only hope that her friend would allow her to stay on as lady in waiting. It wasn’t like she had anywhere else to go after all… She couldn’t return home, even with the spell broken. 

“Ella?” A voice called, pulling her from her thoughts. 

“Your highness.” She curtsied, seeing the princess standing before her. “Are you all right?”

“Come with me. Derek and I have a present for you.” Odette beamed brightly. 

“For me?” The girl repeated, confused. But all the same, when Odette took her hand, she let the princess lead her to one of the balconies where she could just barely make out Derek’s form behind the curtain. 

The two women stepped through, and Ella’s heart jumped to her throat. No… It… It couldn’t be… 

Even as he waited on the balcony, where the princess told him he would meet her, he doubted it. He clutched at the railing, looking out at the grounds as he waited impatiently, before he heard footsteps approaching, and turned to face the source. 

The princess was there, and at her side was the woman he had met all those years ago. He couldn’t find the words for a moment, and when she spoke, it reminded him of the words that he had spoken, when she came to his ball.

“Just so,” he said quietly, repeating her words back at her. He was too shocked to smile, or do anything besides take a slight step closer to her. He barely noticed as Odette backed away to give them some space.

But a month or so later, when she went out out check the mail for Madam, there was a letter for her! But who could have? It was only upon seeing the return address that it made sense. 

A bright smile tugged at her cheeks and lips, and Ella stuck the letter between her t shirt and her jacket to hide it from Madam and the girls. Only when she was safe and sound in the attic did she dare take the envelope out and open it.

By the end, Ella felt her eyes prickling with tears and her cheeks flushing bright red with embarrassment. How sweet and sincere he seemed! Like a true gentleman! Reaching for her pen and paper, Ella at down again. 

Dearest Mr. Kit,

I suppose I should have known that you preferred a nickname. In all truth I don’t ever remember being called Eleanor in my life. I’ve always been just Ella. I must confess, had I known you preferred a nickname, my first thought would have been Chris. But I do like Kit much better. 

You mustn’t call yourself weird for writing me back, though! It is only human nature to long for company, after all. To know that someone cares. We are social creatures, and not meant to be alone. There’s no shame in being happy to receive a gift and wanting to reach out for it. 

I’m glad that your friend was able to enjoy one of the cakes. I shall have to try and find his information so that I may send him a package of his own. Please, if either you ever need anything, let me know and I’ll gladly do everything I can to make sure that you get it. 

Yes, exactly! And who to say that courage is not kindness? Or that kindness is not courage? Is the solider any braver than a social worker going through a rough neighborhood to try and help children better themselves? Is a billionaire philanthropist any kinder than a child protecting someone else from a bully? We all have our own battles that we must fight and face. And yes, some are worse than others. And some require more than others. But we all have courage and kindness in us, and my mother raised me to believe that to deny one is to deny both. 

I must confess, I could never understand how someone could find war glamorous or to go fight for glory’s sake. Taking lives should never be easy for anyone. Trying to fight for what you believe is right and protecting those who aren’t able to protect themselves is one thing. But wanting to hurt others and make them suffer just because they don’t believe the same as you do? That is wrong to me on so many levels, and something that should not be tolerated by anyone, let alone the military. It sends the wrong message to everyone involved. And in my opinion, though of course, I’m just a simple honest country girl who knows nothing of these things, it only serves to spread hatred, misunderstanding, fear, and anger. And you cannot fight hatred and suffering with any of those things. It will only cause them to spread further. Peace, understanding, and support are the only ways to truly bridge gaps and bring compassion, I think. But again, I know very little in the ways of the world, so maybe I’m just being a naive dreamer. 

And it does set my mind at ease to know that you’re not in the thick of danger. All the same, you will promise to be safe, won’t you? I would hate to hear that you were hurt. 

I am glad to know that my letter could bring you some happiness. That warms my heart greatly! And I dare say your own words have made me blush a little. I’m not used to someone being quite so kind to me. I would be glad to keep writing to you, for as long as you wished. It is rather nice to feel as though you have a friend that you can be even more of yourself with, because there are no social constraints to hold you back like there are for intimate friends that see each other on a regular basis. Isn’t it? 

Yours ever,

“Shove off,” Kit replied, already grinning when he saw the return address was indeed hers. He opened the letter and began to read, laying back on his bunk and getting comfortable.

It was incredible, the way this girl spoke, and had no doubt in anything she said. Knowing he had no work for the next few hours, he grabbed a pen and paper and began writing.

Dear Miss Ella,

It’s not unusual for people to call me by my full name at first, but I usually just prefer that people call me by my nickname. It’s been almost two years since anybody actually called me Christopher, as all the soldiers here know me by now as Kit - I think some of the newer recruits don’t even know my name is Christopher.

I’m glad that you aren’t bothered by my responding, because like I said, it’s nice to write letters. It has a certain charm to it, and I feel like seeing somebody’s handwriting is as distinct as hearing their voice.

Frederick would certainly be glad to receive anything, but if you can’t find his address I’m more than happy to share anything with him - most of your last package was split between us anyway.

Reading what you wrote in the last letter - it’s exactly how I feel. People are working hard to help, no matter what that level of help is. Be it a billionaire or a social worker, all of them are doing their best to make a difference. It’s important to keep that in mind.

As for people finding glamour in war - you’d be surprised about the backwards thoughts people have. My job isn’t even to fight (unless absolutely necessary), but to monitor, and still when I find myself on leave, I get asked ridiculous questions about the firefights or if I’ve had to do anything extreme to ‘keep the peace.’ They don’t even see the irony in what they’re saying. I have nothing against the soldiers who are fighting battles like this every day, but the attitude of the general population can be more than a little ignorant at times.

But, I can assure you I will do my best to stay out of trouble. I have made it two years with no serious injuries, and I plan to keep it that way. I’m even knocking on wood as I write this in hopes of not jinxing that. 

It will be nice to have something to look forward to - somebody I can call a friend and have as many meaningless conversations with as we want. Maybe not meaningless, but relaxed. I know we hadn’t spoken beyond a single letter apiece, but I was still excited to receive your letter and read it, even more so to write back. I’m glad that you’re willing to keep writing, and I’ll gladly keep it up as long as you’re willing.

Yours truly,

Biting her lip, she knew where they were going before they even got there. How many nights had they spent sleeping in his bed? Making love? Just talking and laughing and looking at each other as if they could never look enough? 

He gently pulled the hem of her shirt up, tugging it until he had to lift her arms to get it over her head, looking very pointedly at a spot past her shoulder once it was off.

“Poor Kit… I’m so sorry. My parents are gone too… I… I know how helpless it makes you feel.”

She resumed walking, slower than before, but now with a destination in mind.

“I know.” Ella answered, almost ashamed of her fear. Taking one of his hands in hers, she brought it tenderly to her lips. “I just love you so much. I don’t want to disappoint you. And I love our baby. I… I don’t want to be a bad mother.”

“You would never disappoint me,” he told her firmly. Once she had kissed his hand, he gave her a gentle squeeze. “You could give birth to a child with three heads and I would still be ecstatic because that’s out child. Who I know you will care wonderfully for.”

“What, you mean to tell me I can’t appreciate how gorgeous my wife is, and make sure she knows it?” Elias teased back, taking her face in his hands gently. 

“You really do look breath-taking, Kit.” He told her tenderly, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. “As you always do.” 

Checking his watch, he sighed. “The babysitter should be here in about ten minutes. I suppose we should round up the kids and make sure they’re all occupied with something before she gets here. You know Jane will throw a fit if we try to leave and she’s not already busy.”

“You certainly have a roundabout way of telling her that,” she replied. “It’s a good thing your wife knows your antics.” She smiled up at him, her hands flattening on his chest.

Her smile softened at his words, and her head tilted slightly. “I could say the same about you,” she said. “I already know I’m going to have a hard time taking my eyes off of you tonight.”

“Well, perhaps she’ll change her mind?” The lad suggested. Surely any good mother would want her child to be happy, not miserable and trapped in a loveless union. 

“I fear she hasn’t much time left to do so,” she said. She hadn’t said anything to anybody, not wanting to speak the words out loud. She hadn’t even spoken of it with Frederick, though she was sure he suspected.

Surprised that he pulled away, Ella’s jaw dropped slightly and her brow furrowed. Now he was deciding to listen to his conscience? Even still, Ella loved him for it. Well, the part of her that still clung to logic anyway. 

Sighing, she backed off. “Sorry.” She mumbled. “I jus’…” 

Just what? Lost control? Clearly. Didn’t know what she was doing? Yes. Couldn’t help herself? Wanted to dull the pain and pretend? Did the reason even matter at this point? They weren’t a couple anymore. And regardless of her reasons or being drunk, Ella was still in the wrong. She knew that. 

Kit didn’t make her get off, and when she said she should go, he shook his head. “You’re not making it worse,” he assured her. ‘I just - I don’t want to kiss you now and have you hate me for it in the morning.” Carefully, he shifted her from his lap so he could stand, and picked her up in his arms again once he was on his feet.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re in no state to get home by yourself,” he said. “You can sleep in my bed tonight, and we’ll talk about this when you aren’t drunk. Everything that’s happened.”

Something in Ella told her to fight. To not let him do it, but god she was tired. Tired of fighting her feelings. Tired of fighting to deny that she was in pain. Tired of fighting to live. And perhaps she needed the comfort even more than she knew. 

Wrapping her arms around him, Ella wept all the harder. “Why’s… Why’s, why’s everyone I love always gotta leave?” She didn’t even know for sure if she heard or understood what Kit was saying to her. She just knew that everything hurt and she couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t understand why there was this dark shadow above her wherever she went. Was she cursed? Bad? Made to be miserable and never know true happiness? “Mom… Dad… You… I don’… I don’ wanna be alone no more! Why… W-why should I have to be sufferin’? I ain’t ever done wrong to no one… But I…” 

The alcohol truly taking control, Ella pulled herself closer and pressed her lips to his in a desperate kiss, trying to keep herself from falling apart. 

He started to reach up to wipe the tears from her face, wanting to do more than just make promises that she had no reason to believe. Before he was able to, her lips were suddenly on his, and he froze.

Shocked by the kiss, he almost started to kiss her back, before he realized what he was doing. Gently, he pulled away, and pressed a hand to her cheek, wiping away some of the tears that remained. “Ella, as much as I’d like to kiss you, I can’t,” he told her. “Not while you’re drunk, it’s not right.”

“Lead the way.” He smiled. 

Once in the garden, Elias sighed. Like in the forest, it was easier this way. They weren’t the princess and the servant boy. They were just Kit and Elias. “You were right.” He declared, looking around. “It’s beautiful. But… Won’t they miss you at the ball?”

He then noticed that a sort of tense silence fell over them. Fearing, he’d done something to ruin their happy night, the boy bit his lip. “What’s wrong?” He asked, stopping and turning to her with concern clear on his face. 

She loved the gardens, more than any spot in the castle. She often came alone, but found herself enjoying it much more with him. She glanced over when he spoke, and told him, “Probably. But - let’s not go back just yet.” She didn’t want to, not when she knew what was waiting if she did.

She had hoped he wouldn’t pick up on her change in mood, but he did and she sighed. She opened her mouth to speak, and closed it again, hesitating “When I go back, they will try to pair me off with a gentleman of their choosing,” she explained. “I’m expected to marry for advantage.”

Mother and Father had had their portraits done, of course. But Elias never had himself. Honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to either. He wasn’t nearly handsome nor important enough for such a thing. He was just a simple country lad, after all. 

She felt a slight blush rise to her cheeks, and she bit her lips at his words. “You may. And thank you.” She glanced around the portrait gallery once more, and looked back to him. She took a step back, a slight smile rising on her face.