uwu hewwo wewcome to chiwwis

the simpsons Shit & run

meow btw. if you even care.

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

When it hits a corner perfect, I’m allowed one (1) good idea.

HEY I JUST GOT HOME AND THE WOMAN IM ENTING MY ROOM FROM ANWERED THE DOOR IN A FULL VELVET CAPE AND SEVED ME WINE AS SOON AS I CAME IN AND SHE’S WACHING THE BLADE MOVIES SO WHEN I SAID THIS HOUSE IS SAFE FROM VAMPIRES I THINK THAT’S THE MOST WRONG IVE EVER BEEN

I REALLY did NOT know how to cope I said “I like your cape” (which is true it’s a great cape) and she said “here, have some wine” and I said “I need to study” and she said “not at all” and poured me like 1/3 of the bottle and I said “that’s a LOT of wine” and she said “it really isn’t” and sent me to my room with it.

Op is your landlady single

So he gave millions and you gave $40 and feel like you’re doing more?

Much like a minecraft villager, my only instincts are run from darkness and throw bread

I was not expecting this post to actually get notes but it seems like we can all agree here

op do you also open doors to let the zombies in

If you could please refrain from insulting the fine green gentleman knocking violently at my door, that would be great. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a guest to welcome

rebagel if the flu shot made you gay