Happy Valentine’s Day to the ship I’ve loved for thirteen years.
I’ve been shipping Allen and Lenalee since I was ten years old. Although my interest has significantly waned, admittedly, I still have lots of love for this piece of media. I didn’t even fully comprehend romance in media yet—I was just starting to notice the difference (and the blurring) between friendship and something softer, something quieter, something human in spite of oneself. How it was often between a girl and a boy among other patterns fed to us, how they sometimes must end up together with or without our investment. So, I just went along with it, consuming. Yet, to that younger version of myself, in the middle of gothic cathedrals, hyped up akuma battles highlighting their complementary styles as a power duo, and end-of-the-world dread, these two gentle, stubborn, spiritually linked kids carved out a permanent space in my heart.
What always got me is that they were never loud about it, it was just quiet devotion. Considering each other in small, compassionate ways. The mutual sensitivities to each other’s struggles and the unspoken agreement to always try to do right by each other, learning from each other. A peer relationship.
Lenalee worrying herself sick when Allen tries to carry the world alone. Allen looking at her like she isn’t just strong or capable, but precious. A reason to keep going. A reason to come back.
When I was a kid, I didn’t have the vocabulary for why it mattered so much. I just knew the way he said her name felt different. The way she reached for him felt different. It wasn’t flashy romance but instead tenderness forged in shared trauma. Two children turned into weapons by the world who still somehow protected each other’s softness when they could.
And that shaped me more than I realized at the time.
They showed me that you can be fierce and still gentle, powerful and still in need of someone’s hand in yours. It’s about living in your trauma, together, even when apart. To keep walking even when the universe is seemingly conspiring against you.
This ship is woven into how I understand relationships and characters, into how I write intimacy, how I believe the softest bonds are often the strongest.
They are absolutely formative.
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