angry chihuahua

Yuna showing Ilya photos of little baby Shane and they get to a photo of a naked two year old Shane grinning at the camera, shirt held up in his triumphant chubby fist. Yuna smiles and tells him how hard it was to keep clothes on Shane and that he’d rip them off whenever they weren’t looking. Without thinking Ilya says “so not much has changed, huh?” and then freezes because he can’t believe he just said that in front of his boyfriend’s mom until Yuna laughs so hard she spills her wine.

headcanon that like his son, david hollander too can also stare at his partner with big doe eyes and get what he wants. it’s rare for ilya to see it but the first time he does he points aggressively and goes “YOU!!! is your fault i never win an argument!!!!” david just blinks while yuna nods solemnly and tells ilya that unfortunately shane learned from the best

Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

there’s this belief that ilya is the bottom in their relationship and it doesn’t help he’s so flamboyant and there’s this joke around “he’s gay or european?” which is obviously based on nothing but stereotypes. shane is always carrying ilya’s stuff, and holding ilya’s waist and ilya is always sitting on shane’s lap and doesn’t help at all he’s always making shane’s plate at the gatherings. and one time shane fixed a pipe at one of the centaurs house and the wags spread the story around so people really just assume that shane is the “man” of the house. the thing is that ilya and shane never share, confirm or denies what happens in their private lives. their dynamics is for them only and rose landry

the first few times shane blows ilya and and ilya knows he's so eager to please and be The Best but he also wants shane to have a good time and to not hurt himself so he's like okay okay slow down, easy easy, dick is not going anywhere i promise, it's only your second time sucking dick ever you don't have to choke on it, please remember to breathe and at the same time shane is like if can't make him cry while i deepthroat it then what even is the point

world cup Bad however i am enjoying the amount of unwitting haaland bellingham yaoi straight men are posting. yes you horrible wretches learn something about yourself. put down that 9th beer on public transport and introspect. you are Gay

Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and they’re a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special they’ve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilya’s power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. That’s how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other team’s faces)

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

we talk a lot about how much of a revelation andrew’s confession is for neil, and not enough about how revelatory neil’s reaction is for andrew. because like. imagine you like this boy. but he doesn’t swing. you know the answer would be “no,” so there’s no point in even asking. then he goes and gets himself needlessly tortured for you, and tells you there’s no amount of suffering he wouldn’t endure for you. not because he thinks you’re weak, but because he thinks you’re worth protecting. he says things that you would interpret as advances if it were literally anyone else. you remind yourself that he doesn’t swing. now you’re at eden’s and he’s asking about your feelings for him in 12 different ways. he really wants to know. so you tell him, in the most casual and crass way you can, thinking that’ll put an end to it. but unfathomably, it doesn’t. he asks you why you didn’t tell him. why would you have? it would have been a “no.” you say that, and instead of confirming it, he just echoes your words, clearly still reeling. you start to leave, and he tells you that he wants to keep playing your game. while the absence of a “no” is obviously not the same thing as a “yes,” you’ve been operating for months and months under the assumption that the answer would be unequivocal. so you keep waiting for that answer, but it never comes. for the first time since you met him, you wonder if maybe it’s not a “no” after all. if maybe you could have this. you can’t remember the last time you were able to have something you wanted. the world tilting on its axis, indeed.