Be Welcoming You Bunch Of Fucking Nerds

star trek would be the ideal fictional universe to get trapped in because you'd explain your situation and they'd be like yeah makes sense. no further questions. fortunately we can use the mysterious warp signature emitting from this system's icy moon to counterface with the solar radiation and slingshot you back home

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

@wearepaladin bee Paladin fashion :)

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

On account of the gender transition

On account of the gender transition

side benefit of communal all-gender restrooms is that they may be our best chance to shame cis men into washing their hands

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

people who feel the need to chime in on posts about not supporting hp because of jkr with AND THE BOOKS ARE AWFUL AND HORRIBLY BIGOTED TOO are so completely missing the point it's insane. the content of harry potter does not MATTER!!!! if it was the most perfectly unproblematic piece of media ever it would still be supporting jkr and her bigotry and that would be enough of a reason not to support it!!!! all you're doing is continuing to treat harry potter as something worthy of discussion instead of trying to kill its cultural relevance!!!! you are not an ally and i do not trust you!!!!

good omens is by and large a very good book with positive messages but i stopped posting about it after the neil gaiman stuff came to light bc the quality of the content doesn't fucking matter when we're talking about materially supporting people who wield their power & influence to harm others

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

I mean, mom was pretty integral to, and present for, OP's brief time as a single-celled organism.

reading the wiki for the american psycho movie every single thing it’s saying about christian bale has me in tears …….. he literally wanted the role so bad he got that buff in two weeks, rejected every other offer for 9 months while the producers tried to get dicaprio to be patrick bateman bc bale knew dicaprio would chicken out, went to dinner with the director and the guy who wrote the novel IN CHARACTER apparently scaring the shit out of the novelist, took the role for $50k, and then made all his costars think he was a giant freak bc he never fucking broke character, and APARENTLY LITERALLY HAS CONTROL OVER HIS SWEAT GLANDS AND USED THIS IN THE BUSINESS CARD SCENE

It brings me comfort that, for a brief moment, Jared Leto genuinely believed Christian Bale was going to kill him with an axe