I feel like sometimes I can't let myself be happy or enjoy anything because I end up thinking the worst. I live life sometimes as if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it makes me think that I will never be happy. It's messed up.

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@kimliang
I feel like sometimes I can't let myself be happy or enjoy anything because I end up thinking the worst. I live life sometimes as if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it makes me think that I will never be happy. It's messed up.

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Wow I'm just all sorts of overwhelmed with life today. Feeling super pissed, angry, and unsettled. Can't deal today at all.
I'm going to hell anyway, why does anything matter?

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Mary Oliver, from “the fourth sign of the zodiac” published in Blue Horses
im full of rage and dangerously stupid but god is holding me back by the scruff of my neck like a kitten
"Eventually hard work looks like talent and determination looks like genius."
Erwin McManus
Stay kind? Stay alive?

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Merry Christmas to all the other gay cousins
Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.
Cathy Guisewite (via purplebuddhaquotes)
Sometimes when I am sad I feel like I hold myself back from letting myself be happy. Because I don’t think I deserve it
“I’ve always held so tightly onto people, even when they didn’t deserve it.. so no matter how often it’s happened, I never really understood how easy it was for people to just let me go.”
— (via the-homie-sexual)
LORD HAVE MERCY THIS.
If you ever find yourself empty from something you cannot know or name, find a stretch of ocean, a field, or mountainside, or even clouds, or trees. Because there are 1,000 simple ways to fill your tired soul so you can remember how to be, how to see, and most importantly, how to breathe.
Victoria Erickson
When I saw a friend of mine post this quote today, I nearly fell to my knees and sobbed. Today was one of those days where I felt completely empty. So empty that I felt like I had nothing left to give to this world. to myself. or to anyone else. I’ve been running on empty for a really long time now. I’m exhausted. oh God, show me beauty, mercy, and Your grace to keep me going because it’s getting really lonely now.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today's #GlowUp brought to you by yours truly. The bottom from left to right: 2010➡️2011➡️2012. Top studmuffin: end of 2017. Not shown here were the 5 difficult years it took to get here. Started from being a goober to still being a goober but hopefully a less self-centered one🆙⬆️🌈#17goingon24