Exactly what I meant, real men can’t have cute dogs.

“Right and they can’t wear pink or like Disney movies and girls can’t play football and should just stay in the kitchen.”

“Well... that’s true actually. That I wouldn’t dare. I won’t get tired of you. At least I haven’t so far and it’s been twenty-five years so I think that says something. But meeting new people and making friends would be good for both of us regardless.”

“I reckon it’s a combination, both my sparkling personality and my handsome face. Sadly for them, I don’t reciprocate those feelings and have no plans of returning any time soon. He’s lucky indeed, I’ve never had that privilige. I’ll come by, have him sleep in no time, you’ll see.”

“Snakes are cuddly, I don’t blame you.”

“Yeah, and beautiful. It’s good talking to someone who doesn’t think they’re horrible.”

“No one will figure out any of the Tomlinson’s evil plans ever, sorry to disappoint you. We’re too sneaky for that.”

“There Louis goes, ruining things for me again. I’m guessing you don’t know Casey very well, though.”

“Honestly, I don’t think anyone likes clowns. Well, except maybe the clowns themselves. I don’t have a phobia of them but I can totally see why others do; they’re creepy. If you steal him, I’ll steal your daughter. Is that a threat? Yes. I’m very protective of him.”

“You should do that. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. Well, I was just working at the coffee shop like usual until I came here. It’s not really something I miss, I have to admit that. Right, right, simple. Aw, is your little lad keeping you up at night? Maybe he misses his uncle.”

“You are. Don’t make me fight you. Yeah exactly. I don’t mind this place but it’d suck without you and Lou here.”

“A lot of people are ignorant. He isn’t poisonous. He has no fangs.”

“Well, okay, that’s true. I think it’s an instinctive thing in humans because of the spiders that are poisonous. Maybe. But I like snakes so I suppose I get you.”

Is this your puppy? How can such a cute puppy be owned by …. never mind. He’s cute.

“Nah, I stole him from a little girl but don’t worry, I’ll return him once I grow bored with him. Owned by.... what? I hope you’re one of those people who think ‘real men’ can’t have cute dogs. If that’s the case, get your own Amstaff.”

“Also as in little bear cub that’s still powerful enough to bite your fingers off. That’s why I have a tarantula–he’s harmless,” she said, letting the large spider crawl over her hand.

“Right,” Killian said sceptively, glancing down at her pet. “And while I totally get that, I reckon a lot people would disagree.”

“Considering you’re cute and tiny too, that sounds about right. Aw, he does? Koda loves Oreo a lot too, I think he’s glad they have each other here with all the new people and surroundings.”

And who is Koda? Though, some people are just scared for the silliest things. 

“He’s my puppy. Look at him.”

“‘ey, I’m slightly offended you’d think I’m that kind of guy. What if I’m trying to cupcake my way into your heart?”