not blonde

“i’ll be fine. eventually.” bella shrugged, with a quietly sardonic laugh. she knew that this was just a chapter in her life she had to get through, she had to face the consequences, but in the meantime, it felt like her heart was rotting from the inside out. “jett seems to think this whole thing is rather funny so i try to act the same but truthfully, it’s exhausting. anyway…i don’t wanna monopolize our time. you sure there’s nothing you wanna vent about? i’m not great with my own problems but maybe i could take a crack at yours. now that we’re trying to be friends and all.” her tone was joking but she meant what she said. killian had always been an enigma and she’d always known there was so much beneath the surface that she couldn’t see. bella was overexposed while he was very closed off and it had been on her mind from the moment they met. “i think i overdid it with the food…” she mumbled as she unpacked the bags on her dinged up coffee table, “unless you think you can eat three burgers and drink a shake in every flavor?”

“you don’t have to act any way that isn’t you.” he almost laughed, that he was the one telling her to be honest with herself, when he couldn’t be honest with... anyone. he began to take the food out of the bags with her, and his amusement grew as he kept taking out sides. “did you invite anyone else over without telling me? or are we going to film one of those, what are they called? mukbangs?” he shook his head, grabbing a container of fries. “jett handles things differently than most. besides, i don’t think he’ll really go stressing out to you when you already have so much stuff you have to deal with.” he didn’t feel like he could speak for their mutual friend, but he knew that he was struggling with things his own way. “like i said, haven’t been up to much so haven’t had many problems recently. but i think we should probably talk about you, if you’re the type to stress eat than it’s kind of obvious that you’re going through something right now.”

     angel. it had been what killian had called him at the club and it’s what he’s calling him now. kendall very much likes the connotations though in hindsight, he’s probably less angelic and innocent than his wispy white locks and dollishly wide blue eyes imply. hell, he’s got no doubt that he’s kinkier than most men he hooks up with and the attire he’s got on under his jacket is even considered ‘tame’ compared to some of the things he’s worn. “ yeah, a little, ” kendall croons, making no move to rid himself of the bulky outerwear. instead, he allows himself to be led with no resistant, only barely avoiding a stumble as he’s tugged inside. kendall’s breath leaves his lips in a little oof of a sound as he’s crowded up against the door. head tilts back but his eyes don’t quite lift all the way to killian’s, instead lingering at his mouth for too long not to be obvious. he continues in an airy voice, barely above a whisper. “ what i’ve got on underneath might’ve turned a few heads on the way over which, while i enjoy attention, there’s only one way i want to get it right now. ” kendall’s lashes flutter and his smile goes even more kittenish. “ and besides… i was hoping you’d take it off for me? ” he cants his head to one side, the picture of sweetness despite his mounting neediness. fingertips are allowed to explore killian’s chest, toying with the front of his shirt with an encouraging bite to his own lower lip. he’s a little beyond being subtle as his fingers hook in the neckline of killian’s shirt, giving him the lightest of tugs forward. closer… closer, it’s never close enough. not while they’re both still clothed anyways.

   “you’ll be our honorary fifth member for that night.” he states, chuckling to himself once more. “do you want me to do back flips? would that be enthusiastic enough for you?” maxi wonders, standing up from his seat. “you mean to tell me that you don’t want to use me for some sort of gossip story?”

bella had been listening for his knock at the door and when she heard it, she bounded over, not realizing how starved she’d been for company. pulling it open, she saw him standing there looking the same as always and she had to wonder if she looked the same to him as well. the way people looked at her now, she felt different and it made her think she looked it, too. like there was a big neon sign above her head proclaiming her a screw-up or a whore. but then again killian had seen those parts of her before anyone else had. “hey, come in.” she smiled, gesturing towards the living room, “thanks for coming by, i though we should…catch up.” because that’s what friends did, right?

killian smiled, walking into the living room. he could smell the food as soon as he walked in, and the scent of the burgers definitely eased his mind. “yeah, yeah, i’ve been wondering how you’re holding up. haven’t really seen you since that whole thing at the shop.” he shrugged his shoulders, moving to sit on her couch. “but i’m alright. just floating around, so there’s not really much to catch up on with me.” his response was... vague, but it wasn’t a complete lie. he really hadn’t been up to a lot lately, just staying at home and writing new music. 

  “yeah? if you say so.” maxi shakes his head towards the other with a smirk. he’s taking his phone back from the other, slipping it into the pocket of his jeans. “we’ll have to owe the grammy win with you, amazing.” another chuckle falls from his lips, shaking his head at the other male. “yeah, sure, why not. i’m not doing anything else.” maxi shrugs.

   ❝ you’re right. she shouldn’t, ❞ simon agreed. ❝ and i’m glad you and bella worked things out, even if it’s temporary. ❞ he nods and lets out hums of agreement when the other male explains what he aims to do with the lyrics of his song. while simon doesn’t consider himself as someone able to write eloquent and meaningful lyrics, he does think of himself who does give good feedback when asked of him. the track starts with a tiny crackle of sound, and then there’s a soft and slow strumming of a guitar. her eyes and words are so icy, oh, but she burns / like rum on the fire / hot and fast and angry as she can be / i walk my days on a wire. simon’s quiet as he listens to the lyrics of the first verse — his expression remaining intent but unchanged.

 “the stuff on the radio is garbage? that’s a bold statement.” he smirks, letting a chuckle fall from his lips. he watches the other male for a moment, smirking just a bit when he saw the other’s smile. “yeah? thank god, means i don’t have to change the whole thing since the killian law likes it.”

   maxi shrugs his shoulders at killian, laughing softly. “i mean, yeah? nobody’s going to steal it, there’s nobody really around, anyway.” he states, running his fingers through some of his hair as he watched his movements. “you’re the one that needs to hear it so bad!” he chuckles, shaking his head.

bella was really trying to better herself in the aftermath of well…everything. the sex tape being leaked and then she’d hurt luther to be with travis who then seemed to take back his feelings for her. she wasn’t sure what she was feeling but part of her wondered if this was heartbreak. or maybe just rock bottom. either way, she needed to pull herself out of that and it started with wanting to be a better friend. killian had given her yet another chance and she didn’t plan on squandering it so she took it upon herself to invite him over to hang out. she’d picked up some in-n-out and even tried to pick up the place after she’d been nesting for a couple weeks in her isolation. she wondered what their fans would think if they found out killian had never even been to her apartment. @killianlaw

killian wouldn’t normally willingly head on over to bella’s place after, well, everything, but they did agree to try mend their friendship... although, did they really ever have a friendship to begin with? still, there was something about her that made it difficult for him to completely cut her out of his life. at least he knew that she would actually try, considering she invited him over, and obviously he was also going to do his part to make sure things were civil between them. besides, he really wanted to know how she was holding up, he already knew how jett was and he wanted to make sure she was okay. he knocked on her door, shifting nervously from foot to foot. 

❝ if anyone could survive that story, it’s bella, ❞ he replied, though he felt a tinge of guilt. he wasn’t naive as to what a story like that could do to women in the industry, but simon was hoping that it was enough bella was smarter than most people gave her credit for — it was one of the qualities that drew him to her in the first place. ❝ i feel bad too, ❞ he said, looking down, frustrated because he didn’t know what he could do about it. ❝ but does that mean you and bella made up ? ❞ he asked looking up at killian. 

when killian mentioned that he had written a song, simon leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees. he was used to artists within his studio asking him for a second opinion and had a few coworkers who regularly came to him for advice, killian was not one of them — despite their friendship. ❝ —yeah, should i grab my headphones ? ❞ he asked, not sure if killian had wanted him to play it out loud.

“she shouldn’t have to survive that story.” as much as he thought it was stupid what she and jett did, they didn’t deserve to have their personal choices thrown out into the public. killian didn’t have the right to judge them and neither did all the strangers on the internet. “sort of. i decided to give her one more chance, even though i don’t think i should. guess i sort of feel bad. she promised to stop judging me and yelling at me when i don’t do anything wrong, but we’ll see how long it lasts.” he was reminded again of how he had a bad habit of giving people his trust when it was so obvious that things weren’t going to work out.

@killianlaw.

CLOSED.

    if he was being truthful, kendall didn’t even remember scoring hot irish killian’s number after their brief ( but intense ) makeout sesh up against the wall of the blacklit club. surprisingly, though, he remembers everything else about their exchange which is why, after a few text pass between them, kendall had tried to pick thing up where they had left off. it seemed only natural, to him anyways. rejection of his flirtations specifically isn’t a sting that kendall feels often so when killian’s turned him down, he’d very nearly pouted and given up on it entirely. instead, though, it had led to an invite which was eight million times better than any steam text convo, reason being something about a paper trail that kendall had promptly tuned out in his excitement. keeping killian entertained while he’d gotten ready was difficult since anything frisky was momentarily paused but, somehow, kendall had managed to do so and doll himself up all at the same time.  how talented. white fishnets and pastel pink garb are all tucked away beneath an oversized black coat that’s far out of season and he’s kept the makeup to a minimal; he knows what sweat does to a full face that’s hastily applied. kendall fully expects to sweat if the club had been just a taste of what’s to come and that thought brings an impish grin onto pink lips as he quickly knocks on killian’s door. “ did somebody order room service? ” he calls coyly, eyes lighting up at the turn of a handle. 

  “sure they would, i totally believe that.” he chuckles to himself, shaking his head towards the other male. “fine, i guess i can.” maxi states, pulling his phone out of his pocket before scrolling for a few moments to find it. he slides his phone across the table towards the other before sitting back.