Come As you are.

I'll feel nothing. I'll train myself to cope ignore it block it out. Feel if I have any questions or concerns I'll knock them out and ignore.

Hehe

New hair

She's mine. No one is allowed to touch her.

I'm sorry. v.v..

I'm sad right now. My friend decided to hangout with her boyfriends than me. She's the one who offered to hang out with me. She's Hung out with him more than once this week and will be seeing him all day Saturday. Now. I understand she's been single for a while and recently got her boyfriend like two months ago. And wants to hang out and cuddle with the honeymoon deal.. I also understand. The stress her mom is under. But my friend, keeps letting people come over . And seeming I'm just on the back stove burner cause I'm het best friend. But she has to understand what I'm going though, it maybe not be much as everyone else is going under. My friend won't hang out just me and her. She picks her boyfriend over me. She ignores me when I try to talk to her. I miss her mom. I miss hanging out. I'm jealous that no one wants me around when I barely come over. I'm upset that my friend causes more stress in her parents. Without probably realizing it.. And just wanting my friend back.. I just want everything go back to normal but it never will. High school is over soon and when will I see her? Shell be hanging out with her boyfriend. And ill have a job. So good job world. Make me loose my best friend. Cause I know she won't listen to me cause I've told her too many times. I'll try .. I just want my friend back. But trying won't always fix things.. But ill still talk to her.. and try..

So I can just wake up to him and just smile at him and everything be okay..

I haven’t been writing in this for a while.. Me and Cody have been talking lately about moving in with each other when we are done with our own school. And to be frank, I’m scared. I’m scared for myself, family, Cody, money, housing, job, and just everything. But I know everything will be okay. Its weird to think I’m gonna be living with the love of my life. Its hard to image that its coming up so fast I’m excited to see my boyfriend every morning. And not giving any one trouble if driving. Nor just the fact we will be in our own home. I can’t wait. I’m excited. I’m ready. And one day we will have a family a few kids. Be a mommy him being the father of my children that’s also exciting. Taking them to my grandparents to meet the family over and over for holidays, eating dinner every night and smile across the tablet from Cody looking at our family that we some how created over time. It’s hard to think that a little over a year and half ago I met this boy on some website and that single message we started and that message started our future. It began this. My life. He made my life by this one simple message that I didn’t even realize. You would think that this special think we have I would realize to start with. This is fucking amazing. My life is started cause of this boy. This amazing boy. I’m so excited that I have him in my life and happy to have future with him.

This is fucked up. Don't you hate when one of your good friends is being treated like shit.? Well one of my friends are. She is being lied to by this boy. He disgusting and I want to punch him in the face. She doesn't deserve this pain that is causing by him and he's not doing anything about it. Its so fucking stupid. She's got already major hard in depression caused by her family. This isn't helping. I tell her, you need to leave him. He isn't being good to you. Why won't you...? I understand how hard it can be.. But I didn't have exact same situation as she does but similar.. I want you to know.. That I'm here for you, Miranda. You derseve the best cause you deserve it. I promise I wouldn't lie to you.. You're my good friend. And I wish you just see how much pain you're getting caused by this boy that you've only known for almost a year.. He isn't worth the future that you'll make. Which is amazing cause you've gotten so far that this simple easy thing to fix will be hard but the best for in the end. I get so upset with is cause i be been through it before. Similar pain. Similar discomfort. Similar issues with guys. And I don't want to waste anymore time on him. I want my good friend to happy. Cause you need to be.