freedom @kikkawas - Tumblr Blog

i think.. i’ll love myself

for who i am.

[link to playlist]

#ooc #I LOVE AER!!! THANK U FOR THIS EXPERIENCE #i love everyone so much i love this ending pls let my kids live #thank god for mamnther

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kikkawas

#good night aer

le-chevalier-oublieux

bonne chance, mes amis

#THANKS JAMIE

shslfairdreamer

PART 1 of A Softer World edits.

#puts face in hands

#videos

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#LITERALLY KILL ME LOOOOOL #videos

amnesia-er

Something flashes in your mind…

“It’s not like I hate it… it’s just… makes me remember some nasty stuff.”

Sachi’s voice sounds a lot more confident than the one she uses. There’s no signs of stuttering or any sort of worry on her face. It’s like… a whole other her. Renri and Sachi bask in the sun. It’s nice to rest like this… the warm breeze is unlike the hospital. It feels… clean… alive. Real. Warm. And it feels nice to have someone sit by her side.

“I think it’s great. Starring in a play, huh… that’s really something, Sachi-chan…”

Sachi shrugs, making a dismissive gesture.

“It’s not really my sort of thing. Having all that attention is just… I dunno.”

“You don’t like it?”

Renri nudges her a bit.

“The idea of everyone throwing all this… attention and adoration at you… it’s a bit much. I can’t really put it into words.”

Sachi wants to tell her, honestly. That desire is in her it’s just… it’s a big thing to tell someone and it’s so personal. A friend, a classmate, for sure, but… she’s not quite she’s ready to say all that. Would Renri think less of her for that? It’s just that it’s… a bit hard to explain.

“It’s fine.”

Huh? Sachi… hadn’t said anything yet. Renri turns to look at her.

“Really, it’s fine. It’s too early for you to tell me your entire life story, I mean. It’s only what, been a few months? Relax!” she laughs. “You can take your time getting to know me. And I’ll take my time getting to know you. And if you feel like… you want to tell me in time… well then, you can. And if not, that’s alright too.

It’s not like I’m going anywhere, Sachi-chan.”

SACHI KIKKAWA REMEMBERS RENRI KOGASAKA.

#guys my dead gf thing continues

heliotropicnightmare-blog

Aftermath

#UR KILLIN ME HANA #art

amnesia-er

With Gloves of Guilt

It takes a second.

Your eyes find the alarming pool on the floor. Blaring out bright red, like a siren, alone in the night. Your heart stops. Pauses for a good few seconds, probably. Then it begins to thud in your ears as your eyes trace the trails, splintering off into little puddles here and there. And onto the surface of a pair of shoes.

“I’m sorry… I’m… s-so so… sorry!”

Keep reading

#MY SADDEST.. NOT YEAH BOY EVER

#boi #videos

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amnesia-er

Something flashes in your mind…

There’s a crowd around her, she’s aware of that in some capacity but right now it’s not about them. It’s about her and it’s about the moment. The wood grip feels good in her hand, comfortable, like a part of her body. She relaxes her arm and begins to move it with the wind. A perfect gesture; a perfect throw. Her fingers ease… and release. The object sails into the sky. Somehow in her gut she knows she’ll hit her target.

Ka-thunk.

She blinks, missing the moment, but somehow part of her was always assured about her victory. The cheers fill the arena as she relaxes her arm. That axe sure did weigh quite a bit.

SACHI KIKKAWA REMEMBERS HER TALENT. THE SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL AXE THROWER.

#MY LONGEST HYEAH BOY EVER

kikkawas

「did she give you what you hoped for?」· open ·

crumpledbags

Kikkawa-san was acting rather suspicious, but he didn’t want to judge any more of his friends. Just who else would try anything after all this? Although his thoughts were pure in intention, his facial expression contrasted with a raised eyebrow and thoughtful hand pressed against his chin.

“Someone else…do you not trust someone among us, Kikkawa-san? And you did not frighten me too badly, it is fine.”

Izo merely listened as she went on, until she stopped talking. Just what was on that photograph? He tried to lean over and look but his height failed him.

“…Of course. I do. Please do follow me.” He didn’t pry this time as he turned around and headed off to the safehouse. It wasn’t the most glamorous of places but it’d do for now.

kikkawas

Sachi Kikkawa was always suspicious, it was just the odd part about her. She stuttered her way through the conversation, although shy, she seemed a lot more open than she typically was. She was used to her company, and considered them all friends. It didn’t help with her typical nervous stutter she had though, habits were hard to break.

“N-no! Not among us.. almost as if they’re h-hiding from us? N-not apart of the group though, I trust everyone..! So..” She fiddles with her hands for a second. “T-that’s good, then.”

She slipped the photograph away, so she could fiddle with her hands as she walked with Izo, following him.

“E-erm, thank you for helping me! I’m a bit lost, uh..” She couldn’t say she wasn’t surprised when she was greeted with a safehouse like this. But she was a little shocked their living conditions were so awful, after being treated in a nice and safe hospital.. it was almost like they weren’t even at one anymore.

She took a step back, handing him the photograph. “H-here.. I.. don’t know what to think of it really, so..” Sachi didn’t like seeing her dead friends surrounded by someone who was alive with them. It made her feel.. she didn’t know how to feel really. Before she knew it, she was walking without thinking and stepped right on the trap door. Something.. weird pulled her close to it, an urge, a want.

She looked over at Izo before opening the door with hopefully him not seeing her, and she was about to close it again once she saw a dark set of stairs, but she slipped right into the dark.

Sachi yelped in surprise as she happened to trip right on something, and she gently tumbled down. Once she actually stopped rolling about, she looked around the area. “W-what.. is this place..”

#crumpledbags #ic #izo

kikkawas

「did she give you what you hoped for?」· open ·

crumpledbags

Izo didn’t mind being on a new floor but what he did mind very much is the fact that said area was too familiar. Even the factor of being unable to return upwards was cast off to the side as he immediately started to poke his nose around the area, eyes falling on the dried stains, and then he peered inside the knocked-over trash can before straightening it up.

Just as he was about to look at more, he heard the creaking of metal which directed his attention into needing to find the source, of course. Patting himself down, he took careful steps just in case it was–

No, of course not. There couldn’t be any more of those things down here, could they?

Thinking about them made him shudder and stop in his tracks. If this was actually the same area, then his friends could be in a great deal of danger. More importantly, he could be in a great deal of danger. Swallowing hard, he decided to ponder on what perhaps Nijino would have said in a situation as such.

‘Whatever happens, I’m sure we’ll be fine, Omori-chi!’? Something like that, or at least he hoped so. The thought calmed him down and when he came back to reality he found himself at the entrance of the Data Lab.

The rough clank upon Sachi catching the cabinet surprised him but he relaxed quickly enough.

“I heard a sound, Kikkawa-san, so I came to investigate. Did I frighten you once again? My apologies…”

“What are you doing here? Did you discover anything interesting?”

kikkawas

She caught the falling cabinet, resting her hand on it as the impact caused for something to float down from it. Surprisingly, with ease, she slowly lifted the cabinet to stand up.

“I-I’m sorry if that startled you! I didn’t know s-someone was going to walk in.. I thought you were someone else.. this place makes me feel so w-weird, like someone’s watching us..” She huffs out, kneeling down to pick up whatever fell.

“O-oh no, you didn’t Omori-kun! Don’t worry, I’m n-not scared that easily!” She lifts up her arm flexing and then wincing a little at the motion.

“Oh! I was uh.. t-trying to be useful for once, you know.. it seems ever since.. uh we lost.. our main strength, I should do s-something about it! So I picked up the file cabinet, and then I.. h-here let me look now.”

Now that everything’s settled down, she actually goes to look at whatever fell.

And then, silence.

For a while, at least, as Sachi just stares at the photo. Her eyes go wide, but she doesn’t speak. “..Uh.. I think.. I need to l-lie down after that.. d-do you know where any of the beds are, maybe? Y-you can see once we get there too.”

#crumpledbags #izo #ic

「did she give you what you hoped for?」· open ·

She should have paid attention.

She should have paid attention to her words, what Nijino said. What Niki said. She should have been stronger for them, the both of them.

Why are you so hard on yourself, Sachi? She would ask herself this, almost everyday. Because she can’t remember? She can’t recall a single bit of information, unless she murdered someone for the benefit of memories. Sachi couldn’t even stand herself when she thought about murder itself.

She was desperate, everyone was dying around her, willingly leaving her. The way Nijino worded it, it sounded like Niki had left her all alone, okay with just sacrificing herself for the greater good. Had she drank that liquid, saying goodbye to the others? Saying goodbye to Nijino, who would kill her later and eventually die for what she had done?

Had they both known what they were getting themselves into?

It haunted her. It haunted her so badly, all she could do was beg and plead for all of this to stop. The bloodshed, her friends going away one by one. She remembered the last thing Niki said about her hair.

She was in pain, wounded by the ones suffering more than her. She couldn’t help it, she was already hard on herself enough.

As they all descended to the fifth floor, she couldn’t help but silently stand there and just stare at the wall. She should have done more, hell, she could have done more. Things started to pick up in her mind, everyone was there for her, in the end. Nobody would ever hurt her now.

Not even herself.

She felt a little startled and freaked out by the fifth floor they now found themselves stranded on, she wasn’t going to lie. Some of the things she found provoked tears, but she never openly cried. She doesn’t touch the weird markings, but she does find herself in the data lab. Sachi had always noticed she was strong.. but she never put it to the test. Upon seeing the knocked over file cabinet, she attempted to lift it up.

When she heard someone entering the room, she almost dropped the whole thing.

“W-whwa-- H-hi! W-what are you doing here?”

#aer open #ic

「you regret it, love」· yuichi ·

Things have been.. quiet recently, but Sachi does mind how peaceful it seems to be. She recalls, in the past, this was a rather lively place. Everyone seemed nice, nobody was really rude to her or mean, only a few punches were thrown. The only times things seemed very.. active was when there was a murder. Then an execution following that, and then.. more silence. Sachi liked the quiet more than anything, but all it did now was make her nervous. The burns, and phantom pain on her arm seemed to be slowly fading away, that’s when she started to get suspicious.

She wandered the place as well, entering a few seconds after Yuichi happened to find the body.

Sachi felt everything freeze, her heart stopping, her movements slowing. Niki’s face, was hidden from her slumping over. Her body, limp. It would look like she was sleeping if it wasn’t for the odd position her body went in.

Her eyes start to burn and sting, but it’s not the same burning sensation from before. It felt painful, a searing pain in her chest as her breathing got heavy.

“..Nn-- no..” She couldn’t do anything but walk to where she was, tears falling from her cheeks and onto the limp body that was once Niki Ikutano. “I-I thought you would.. s..survive-- I thought, you, would-- not me--” She wheezes out, falling to her knees and her hands clutch at Niki’s arms. “I-- you were--”

“You-- were suppose to live.”

A few moments pass of her sitting there, head down as she sobs. She says nothing else, until she notices the others must be here. “I’m s-sorry-- I didn’t mean to--” She attempts to get up, her legs shaking. “Chinen-kun-- you found it.. first?” How long was she like this..

“I might need-- h--h.. help.”

#i dont remember my tags all i know is pain #ic #yuichi

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「youth」· open ·

She felt her stomach lurch after all the events of the maze. Sachi thought finally.. finally it was it-- they were free. They were going to go back to normal after getting Yasu and Izo back, she could hardly care of the mess of blood LISE left. After smothering them with affection and loads of tears, then came another challenge from LISE.

And yet, another corpse to be found. A shriek escapes from her mouth as the body collapses to the ground and later, sobs can be heard from the poor girl. She shields her eyes, putting her face in hands as tears continue to fall from her cheeks. At this point, her eyes are puffy and red from all this crying, but it appears they slow down once LISE appears again, telling them about the affects of the wine.

The waterworks appear again, and she’s sobbing because as someone who suffered from burn pain, it’ll only get worse if she doesn’t consume the wine. She doesn’t like getting addicted to things-- especially something that will only give her negative outcome in the end if she doesn’t. She feels guilty for the others, the others who she lead to the wine room to heal their wounds. She feels guilty for Niki, who carried her there and poured the liquid on her wounds.

A crybaby always has her limits, and once the whole ordeal is over, Sachi is left sniffling with some very red eyes. “N..no more..” She whispers out, particularly to nobody. “No more.. dying.. all of them.. are important to me..” Per usual, Sachi Kikkawa doesn’t know what to do. She can’t cry it out, she’s already cried a lot during the maze and afterwards. Meaning, Sachi needs to go take a walk to clear her mind, and she’ll come back to talk to the others if they remain.

She excuses herself, going through her coat to find the pockets that were barely singed and she digs out some ties. This will do.

Yep, she’s doing just fine. Going on a lovely walk. She enters rooms, fully circling them before exiting. Better do the best she can before the pain kicks in and-- before she can leave the operating theater, something catches her eye.. a.. monitor.

#aer open #ic

A message from a dork! "Madame Kikkawa! I do hope you are feeling somewhat better; I observed your accident with the fire and I am terribly sorry! If you are feeling up to it, or perhaps able to send another, I have found an elevator of sorts in the Room of Aqua, beyond the Room of Salmon. It must be significant! But only come if you are feeling alright, I should hate for you to strain yourself."

Here is a message from a dork!

“Oh! Uh.. y..yeah I feel better now that I had some of that liquid on my skin, I’m fine.. T..thank you for worrying.” She glances over at Niki before nodding.

“Don’t worry a..about it! I’ll be there in a second..” She tells Niki of the news she recieved from Felix and slips off her semi burnt cape, handing it to her before taking off.

#le-chevalier-oublieux #ic

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