(downplays everything)

I just started talking about how I was sexually abused by my older sister, but I still am so convinced it wasn't real and didn't happen and I don't feel connected to any of the memories. I feel like I'm making it all up. Idk what I'm doing.

Last night I had a nightmare that my own father was redirecting me to CP of myself online. I always wondered if I could have been used in CP, so this dream just messed me up. I hate not remembering what happened to me and I hate that this nightmare made me blame myself even more for the abuse.

is my stepdad talking about me behind my back but loud enough so i can hear it considered abusive? like when he'll call me lazy to my mom pretending i can't hear it & calls me other names i won't dive into? idk maybe i'm just being emotional

bad dad list: he raped me when i was no older than 6 and then a year ago he killed himself, leaving a note that stated the reason which was "why didn't you try and rekindle our relationship? why didn't you ask why i did what i did?"

My step dad (he's the one that sexually abuses me) found my razor blades that I used to self harm with (I don't anymore) and he says he needs to talk to me and I'm really anxious because now I know that he looks through my stuff and I don't know what to do because he doesn't even sound worried so I don't have a clue what's he's gonna tell me..

the person who hurt me when i was little is still texting me and he's acting like he never did anything to me and it's making me feel like nothing happened at all . i still have the memories and feelings but i'm scared they're not real. i mean, if something Did happen then he wouldn't text me at all , right?

so for a while now I've been pretty sure I've been sexually abused as a child I have all the symptoms and I can not remember anything at all before the age of 12 and I can't go to a therapist because the suspected abuser is my family and a therapist would have to report it so I was wondering if you had any idea on how to try to remember or something

My gym teacher in first grade locked me in a closet every class period and slammed my leg in the door, and I don't know what to call it bc it was a teacher and not my parents

can i be in the bad dad squad tho bc ya boy got a dad that makes them do masses of his college homework (i got him his college scholarship over doing my own projects) and makes us cut off contact w family he doesn't like, uses my moms money and threatens to leave when she fights back, and more - i'm also the anon who's dad pulled a knife on us !!

how can you tell if smth is a memory or just your imagination. bc i just got the thought today, that my ex touched me while we were laying in bed. but idk why i thought that suddenly. i never have before

I am the anon that wants to bite all the bad people sprinting in to say I will still bite all the bad people for you guys i love you all

This may sound super silly but I'm really hypersexual due to my trauma and for the first time today ever I hung out with a guy ALONE and didn't have sex. I'm fucking proud of myself.

we got inspired by that sibling anon so we wanted to say that we think you're very sweet and comforting and we kinda see you as a stuffed rabbit because of your icon! its pretty weird but one of the littles in our system brought it up one day and we kinda slowly accepted it, haha.