Kick It. Kick It Good.

I’ve taken several more today that have been negative, though I definitely have some symptoms of it - they’re just much lighter – I did have a little bit of a fever last night though it’s normal today, a tiny sore throat but that’s gone and a stuffed up nose. Mostly tired. No hacking cough that I got each time I had it.

False positives are extremely rare, but I would definitely be getting positive test on day three of this whatever it is. I feel almost normal today, tons of energy - a very, very different feel than when I got it during lock down, and during chemo (brutal).

I’m going keep testing tomorrow, but my PCP thinks it could have been a bad test I asked her if I could come in to get a real one or go to Walgreens but the time I would be able to get an appointment, it would be over so I’m left with Home tests. The other possibility is that i’ve had it for a while, but I was just asymptomatic until the very end which would move me out of the infectious window.

Either way, I’m cautiously optimistic that I’ll be able to spend some time with my nieces. I’m going to double mask just in case and feel out the concert, that’s what I would be the most nervous about, I don’t want to be a super spreader. But Saturday day time was all outside so I’d feel ok about that.

I cannot say more wonderful things about how delicious and easy this recipe is. I made it a couple of times but today, I plussed everything – more ginger, more garlic, the juice of one orange but then about a cup more of regular orange juice, then cooked the sauce on low much longer and it is even better. I also throw in red yellow pepper and snap peas at the very end. I don’t bother with the cornstarch or the egg whites because I don’t have a wok but definitely searing the meat is a good idea.

I just love being in my bed. It’s 1220 and I’ve had some water, and my regular protein smoothie. I turned my electric blanket back on and now we’re all just cuddling. I got enough sleep, but it just feels so cozy and relaxed in here.

I had a tough day yesterday. The night before was Fourth of July and I walked an hour down to the ferry terminal to get on a sailboat to go watch the fireworks on the bay to see the Golden Gate Bridge light up, and it was all fogged in. It was such a bummer. I walked all the way back home, fighting being grumpy. I went to bed really sad and heavy and woke up that same way.

I was emotional and teary all day yesterday and just felt so exhausted. I could not figure it out. I’m definitely working on getting better sleep but it’s inconsistent and I’m realizing now how much less than six hours affects me. I felt so depressed. I could not drag myself up to get anything done or be productive at all or even leave the house, and it scared me a little.

It felt amazing to get rid of all of that stuff - I’ve carried the same clothes around for years. I’m actually quite clean, despite some hoarding habits. Over the last few years, Ive focused on simplifying quite a bit. Losing weight has helped me deal with the whole clothing situation – like most women, I have four pairs of jeans that met my weight range. I could still easily lose about 30 pounds but I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m at. I’m pretty stable, and with my huge boobs gone through the breast reduction, clothes just fit better. So I got rid of all my tent-like clothes that I’d hide in. I also kept a few nice things but now they’re in the back of my closet.

What’s in front? That would be loungewear. Because that’s my lifestyle now.

I couldn’t recommend the Swedish theory of lagom (“just the right amount”) which is Swedish-inspired minimalism. I still haven’t mastered the Swedish death clean yet – that might come later on this year. Baby steps.

What you do is move (or put away) just 5 things. Put away 5 items that are out of place. Throw away 5 pieces of trash. Donate or relocate 5 things. Then stop if you want.

Do I know any of Olivia’s music? No, not really. Do I care? Nope. Did I pay way too much h for these tickets? Absolutely. Am I bothered? If you had a microscope, you couldnt detect a level of care.

I have gift bags for everyone -Olivia Dean friendship bracelets, face glitter, sparkly nail polish, neon sunglasses, a big happy birthday banner, and an instant camera with built-in photo printer for Cam to take pictures of the concert. I have to get a cake but that’s easy.

I’m a little nervous about where everyone’s going to sleep, I have a big air mattress, but I’m not sure if it works so got a pump to try it but then also found this really cool foldable mattress on Amazon for like 70% off so I ended up just buying that too.

Feeling a lot of gratitude today. For Grace, recovery, and time. I’m starting to relax into the idea that everyday can be something fun.