HILDALE, Utah (AP) — The tea tasted bitter and earthy, but Lorenzo Gonzales drank it anyway. On that frigid night in remote Utah, he was hoping for a life-changing experience, which is how he found himself inside a tent with two dozen others waiting for the psychedelic brew known as ayahuasca to kick in.
I just read this and watched the accompanying video. I have so many thoughts. We’ve arrived at a point where the average person wants to experience a spiritual awakening. They’re desperate for a connection to anything bigger than themselves. Especially in trying times like this.
Here’s the thing: I would hands down consider what I experience in mania to be a spiritual awakening; the dozens of people with bipolar whom I’ve interviewed would say so, too.
During my first manic episode, it felt like the universe cracked open and God started speaking directly to me. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows; it was definitely overwhelming. But overall, the experience left me with a greater understanding of life, and ultimately, why I’m here. I still carry that with me today. It has changed me, completely. I wouldn’t be who or where I am without it.
As this article highlights, people who willingly/intentionally throw themselves into non-ordinary states of consciousness for the sake of a “spiritual awakening” are given babysitters. They’re given retreats. They’re featured in news magazines. People who enter those states “naturally” (through mania, psychosis, etc.) are thrown into jails and hospitals. Pumped with antipsychotics and labeled for the rest of their lives.
(There’s a reason why people with “severe” mental illnesses are discouraged from participating in psychedelic experiences: they’ve already been through it, in some form or fashion.)
Now, Western society is learning more about the possible benefits of a mind-altering experience, courtesy of plant medicine. And I fear that we will see people attempt to co-opt/take over/reinvent shamanic traditions. We know what people I’m talking about… *side-eye*
Other cultures around the world have been practicing this way of life for longer than we have record of. They’re closer to each other; they have community; they’re deeply invested in their faith and spirituality. And here we are. Floundering in tragedy after tragedy, detached and fearful.
Not only are mind-altering substances accepted in these cultures, experiences that are deemed to be mental illnesses here, are also embraced.
Ever since I was tossed into the mental health system firsthand, I have been very wary of everything about it. Wary of the creators of it; the beneficiaries of it; the long-term effects of a human being telling another human being that there’s something wrong with them, because they don’t fit into the box of cultural normality. Whatever that means.
In conclusion: I’m not knocking anybody for wanting to get closer to their God. I’m just saying we really don’t know shit about the mind. About what it truly means to be spiritual and what it means to be ill. It’s all a guessing game, just like everything else in life.
Do you.
