◤ ✕ ❛ — YOUNG GOD

“I don’t like it. I hate it in fact. Sleeping outside on the ground is the last thing I’d want to do, if I’m honest. I don’t think I’m made to go camping, to be honest.”

“I think I’m going to leave you hanging, I’m just mean like that. You never know – the camera men might just like only guys. So, you might be helping me out. My boobs aren’t tiny, but they aren’t huge either. Also, stop looking at my nudes. You can only look at mine, if I can look at yours. Triple d’s? Are you sure you didn’t mean triple z’s? It’s not a girly fantasy at all. If you like sex, you’ll have sex almost anywhere. Or ant bites on your ass, those things are evil. Plus, your ass is far too pretty to be covered in bites. And yes, I was looking.”

“I can’t say I expected to be dropped off in the middle of the woods, but hey, I’m not gonna say no to getting freaky around a campfire.”

“It’s not too bad here, the scenery is pretty cool. I can’t say I don’t miss that cushy house we get to stay in though. Fucking someone around a campfire seems nice and all, but I dunno-- when someone’s hair catches on fire that’s gonna go south real fast.”

“that awkward moment when almost everybody is looking at you like you’re a lost little puppy…”

“You’re gonna have to stop talking about things that could kill me before I slap you. It’s bad enough that I have to be here for a whole week, I don’t need to know about the possible dangers that could be lurking everywhere.”

‘ that’s… well that’s why you wash them first. ’ she said & chuckled as she shrugged. ‘ i mean i will probably try & find food for myself if there’s no canned food around, anyone else can join me if they feel like it. ’ she said as she grabbed a stick to herself as well. ‘ it’s irritating, to say the least, why can’t anybody enjoy anything these days without someone complaining or telling you why you shouldn’t enjoy it ? ’

“I dunno, still seems pretty fishy to me.” He chuckled, offering the girl a dramatic wink. “It’s because everyone’s miserable and wants to drag you down into their misery. I can’t stand people like that, so don’t worry-- I won’t complain.”

“Oh, Khalid. You don’t know what I can make you crave. If I flash them my tits, you have to accompany me. That’s the only way I’ll share with you. It’ll make me feel better knowing someone has tinier tits than I do. Please, do not tell me you’re hiding some double d’s underneath that shirt right now. Well, that’s the difference between you and me because I think sex surrounded by nature is totally hot, in your tent of course. I must be some hippie or somethin’ like that.”

“That’s probably the one thing I’ll complain about as well. I was thinking of showing one of the camera men my boobs for a cheeseburger and french fries, if I get that hungry. And I hope you’d know that you’d be going down.”

“Run down a hill? Are there even any hills around here? I always thought the trick was to play dead? Or is that a myth too? Khalid, I don’t know if I’ll survive this week.”

“I don’t know how safe it is to play dead in front of a bear, I’d be too scared to do that to be honest. Running away sounds like a much better plan. Hopefully we just won’t run into any. Oh c’mon, you’ll be fine. You might even grow to like camping, who knows? But if you need any help surviving, I’ll protect ‘ya.”

‘ you’re like the third person that’s told me they don’t like fish a lot. ’ she said with a laugh as she grabbed  one of the sticks that had one single fish in it & handed it to him. ‘ yeah, i did. ’

He shrugged, making a face. “I mean, I’ll eat it. I just think the concept of fish is kind of weird. Like they swim around in their own shit and then we eat them? I dunno.” Reaching over to grab the stick, he raised it in her direction as a sort of salute. “You’re probably gonna have to catch food for half of these guys. Everyone’s acting like camping is the end of the world.”

“I swear if one more person complains about this fuckin’ trip, I have every right to throw you in the damn lake.”