The Perfect Spectacle, Just For Me!

“I never should’ve given that fucker a phone.”

“Dating can be fun sometimes, though I don’t actually feel romantic attraction. It’s more like a game to me.”

“Nothing beats the feeling of watching someone else’s grief and despair! It’s super fun!”

“Just kidding! I’ve answered this before and I still like ramen. And a secret other thing you don’t get to know about.”

“And if you mean taking off the mask, that ain’t happening anytime soon.”

“It was funny when he bit Detah though, I’ll give him credit for that.”

“Hey, don’t try and psychoanalyze what I just said, okay? I wasn’t opening up or anything!”

“I made him listen to it purely to fuck with you.”

“Do you want me to make like. Gay death traps. What.”

“Man, it sure has been a long day. Almost feels like it’s been a month since I started using Tumblr. Weird.”

“Don’t worry, we took him out back and killed him.”

“…………okay? Questionable taste, but I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“I didn’t feel like it.”

“I have to kill seventeen non-feminists a day or else I die.”

“And also I just think it looks cool! I made it myself.”