K

Thinking for a very long time I started to put everything going on Sri Lanka from a middle class person.

Yesterday night another fuel price increasing happened. The country is in a chaos w/ high fuel price, food price, no $ reserves and pile of debts. As a young person in a country, I see no any future. Even I can't go abroad. Foreign uni doesn't allow SL students to come to their uni bc of $ issue in the country. Don't provide work visa for SL ppl. Power cut is even killing us who work from home in the IT industry.

There's a website we can see when will the power go out. Every morning I wake up and see that. Then I charge my laptop, mobile and everything ready when power go out, we on batteries, power banks and try to continue the work.

I received a scholarship from ANU (Australian National Uni) yesterday (16th March 2021). It is something I really wanted to do for a long time. But time wasn't right. We are hitting on a pandemic and I have already started a MSc in SL and spent my all the money into it. And I am thinking if I go there would I be able to be success. So I am trying to find a job here and stay here forever. I think there's no chance for me to go abroad and live a comfortable life. I really hope in my next life I'd be born into a country like Japan or Korea. Then I can be whatever I want.

Even if I want to go Ausi there are lot of works to do and I know no one is gonna help me. So I just giveup without trying even though I know I sould not give up without trying. But I'm facing the reality. This is my reality. No escape from this. I'll live like this and die like this. I'll start over in my next life.

As you all know I am an ARMY who really like BTS. But recently their dating scandal was a hot topic and at that time I realized I need to make up my mind for the worst. Anything can happen so better to be ready. I know I can’t have them, marry or even they won’t know my name. I’m just a fan in the fandom. If I keep going with this, at the end I could go crazy when they reveal their real partners or disband. So to avoid that I started to move on and go back to my previous hobby Cricket. 

I was a die hard cricket fan but after Kumar sangakkar and Mahela Jayawardena retired from cricket I wan not into that anymore. But in 2020/12 LPL brought those things into me again and I found very cute coupe in Ausi team too. So these things made me want be a cricket fan again and helps me to move on Kpop a little bit. I will still love kpop but won’t clingy. Zoinis is my new ship and Ausi is my new team. I found new dream to follow. 

I've seen people fell in love and cry over it and end it in a very sad way. I'm one of them. No regrets though since I did nothing to harm him only to benefit.

If I say today I'm writing thanks to BTS, it is not a showoff. You may see them as a bunch of Korean boys who sing, dance and rap. But for me they are my saviours. They are my inspiration and living legends to me as well. # of times I was thinking to end my life and this is what saved me from doing that, "Love yourself". It is their latest album campaign and released series of albums titling that name. Songs were really inspirational and I began to think that they had and have a difficult life style than me but survived until today. So y should I end my life over nothing or a boy who doesn't care about me. So don't look down on BTS because they are cute or acting like that. They have saved # of lives through their music.

Thank you BTS for saving my life and giving courage to me. U a the best of the best no matter what people say.