Look To Him

you had another master. 

Your heart was divided. You loved something more, consumed in another god. 

I will not share my glory, I have to become your one thing. your only thing. 

I will not compete. 

I’ve realized a pattern in my life

honestly it makes me feel like i’m insane,

because insanity you know is doing the same thing over and over hoping that the outcome will be different. 

but let me tell you, the outcome, it’s never different. 

But I do the thing where I try to make it all work, when maybe it isn’t suppose to work? 

I get so fixated on “finding” love or being in love that I ignore the signs that tell me, “Lauren no this isn’t what I have for you”. But i’ve learned that over the years that isn’t really helpful because I just end up getting hurt more because I invest a lot of my time in the person that I want. 

Well lately i’ve been realizing this, that honestly I don’t know how to truly be alone. Not have anyone, and be content in that. I have hours where i’m truly glad I get to be alone/single/singular. But then there are many hours that I want someone there to spend whatever I’m doing in that moment with a person. 

But being singular, it’s good. I have a lot to figure out and as much as I want to jump to the next man to fill the void in my heart the yearns for love and acceptance I know that, that won’t change my heart. I need this time to really lean on God and be dependent on the one man who knows my heart and loves me through the highs and lows and teaches me the things I don’t know. 

I trust that His plan is far better than my own, and I need to start acting like it. 

So here’s to being alone. 

Not a woes me, I’m alone but being truly joyful in the Lord to have this season so that I can do the ministry he has called me to, seek Him with everything I have and all the time I have :-) 

If you find yourself in this boat, join me in being happily single.

I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him.

He alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. 

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. 

He alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.

My victory and honor come from God alone.

He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.

O my people, trust in Him at all times, 

Pour your heart out to him,

We’ve all been here. 

Discontentment (n) -  a restless desire or craving for something one does not have.

I’ve been restless for awhile, for many years I “craved” what I did not have. As humans this is something we have had in our hearts since birth. It stems from sin. Our own selfishness, therefore discontentment is a sin. We sit in our sin when we compare ourselves to others and forget what the Lord has blessed us with. 

I think we will always be stuck feeling discontentment, I don’t think that there is just one season in your life that you are going to feel this way. BUT there is a way to overcome it. 

I’ve been learning that it’s all about your outlook on the situation, that if you step back and see how the Lord has answered prayers and blessed you with so many things you begin to realize how good the Lord is and how great life is. Satan loves to trip us up and make us believe that we got it bad, that God is not answering our prayers but that’s a lie my friends. God is so so good. He wants the best for you and He will and is giving you the best. We just can’t see it with our eyes that are just set on things of this world. So set your eyes on things above, and set your eyes on God who is constantly blessing you and giving you everything for this time here and now and preparing your future.