It doesn't matter if you don't want it because you can never get your brain to stop overthinking and overwhelming you. But when he shoves his cock in your mouth without asking, and bobs your head rhythmically up and down hypnotically, your brain gets reduced to a silent machine that gives you peace of mind and inner quiet. You only get to focus on his pleasure and your next breath.
And you've long since learned that resistance doesn't work. He's both too strong for you and you're too devoted to him to truly want to displease him. And you kind of asked him to force you to do it. You were curious and wanted to try it, see what it felt like to be truly helpless. You didn't know it was going to become "your next big kink," but the way it left you feeling fulfilled, subby, owned, and quieted your head was too enriching to ignore. Even he had commented about how your mood would perk up afterwards.
And after a few times you really start to feel the benefits of submitting to be his personal oral cumdump. You felt closer to him and pride in the praise he'd shower down on you. You'd feel personally accomplished because of your endurance and how confident you were that your man was pleased. And as time went on, the more you did it, the more rewarding each time felt.
But it's mainly the fact that it calms you down that makes you crave it now. All of your anxieties get suspended and thoughts stop echoing inside your head, if even for a little while. You've even learned he's more likely to fuck your face if you start to talk fast and sound anxious. Which you may have embellished a few times to get him to pin you down and take your mouth, but you did tell him you wanted him to use your mouth if you were showing signs of overthinking.
So here you are again, this time backed up on your knees and head pinned against a wall just inside the entrance to your home, listening to him rant and rave about the rough day he had as you sloppily slurp and suck like a dutiful little whore. Seriously, fuck Greg in accounting for putting your man through the emotional ringer today. But secretly? Thank you Greg for getting him so worked up because you also needed this.
You had come home only 20 minutes earlier from your own rough day, but things are looking up now as his cock stiffens and lodges itself all the way down your throat.
You've long forgotten just how many loads you've swallowed. It used to be a fun game to keep track of how many you swallowed earlier on in your relationship, but the number was way too high to reliably keep track of now. A thought that made you subby to even think about. It wasn't just humiliating fun to call you a greedy cumguzzler anymore. Honestly it's just accurate terminology at this point. 'Whore-nidae cumguzzler-icus' he joked was your species name once. God, he's such a fucking nerd for that core memory. You love him for it.
You've been emptied of any residual worries you had from the day, pumped out of your head by the unrelenting plunging of his cock between your lips. And in its place is the familiar warmth of a hot, viscous liquid painting the walls of your throat and coating your esophagus all the way down like a comforting syrup as you desperately swallow his cum down into your tummy to keep all for yourself.
Your smile around his shaft presses into his crotch as the praise rains down on you and you feel like the most cherished girl in the whole world, teary-eyed and satisfied, getting headpats and enjoying the spoils and glow of his orgasm.